Did you poop on the bed? And a few straightforward practical Qs

[iamwhaticallpregnant]

My main fear as a first time at labour person, other than the pain, is doing a poop on the bed?
So can I ask a few practical Qs
1/ Did you do a poo?
2/ If yes, how did the MW react?
3/ If your partner was by your head did he see and was it mortifying?
4/ is there a plastic sheet underneath you? or normal bed sheets?

May sound very very trivial - but these sort of indignities really do get to me...

[TheCountessOlenska]

1. Yes but it was in the birthing pool
   
2. She didn't comment really, just got rid of it. I, however, was quite chatty on the subject (too much Gas and Air )
   
3. Yes, it was in the pool so I expect everyone saw. He's never mentioned it since though.
   
4. N/A
   

Sorry!

[MayimBialik]

I fully expected to as I think most people do, but apparently I didn't. I had to ask DH after so I had no idea if I'd pooed or not.

So basically even if you do you really won't care and won't notice. Honestly, your dignity goes out of the window believe me!

[PickleSarnie]

I pooed on my living room floor. All I really remember of the pushing part is me going "im going to pop myself" over and over again. I can't actually remember any of the pain so really the poo had a positive side effect!

Midwives literally don't give a shit. They see it all the time and don't make a big deal of it.

[PickleSarnie]

Poo, not pop!

[fantashtic]

I just read Call the Midwife and according to that, in the 1950s it was common to give an enema in the v early stages to avoid the poo issue. I guess. Does anyone do this now?!

[toffeelolly]

you will be in so much pain . pooing will be last thing on your mind

[chickenyummychicken]

i was also totally paranoid about this.
I didn't poo with any.
I actually had the runs in early labour each (4) times.
last dc - told midwife i had to poo and she looked down below and said 'no dear ' the head is there!

[phantomhairpuller]

You really won't care by that stage! Pooing on the sheets will be the least of your worries

[rednellie]

Have you ever had an enema? I have. They're awful and not something I'd include on my birth plan!

1. Yes
   
2. Mw didn't react, just discreetly got rid of it
   
3. Dh saw, laughed. Couldn't stop laughing. Opened windows. Laughed some more. Still sometimes wakes in the night laughing.
   
4. They have these special highly abhorrent squares of material that they layer under you. They remove when they're dirty for whatever reason

[TaggieCampbellBlack]

Enemas make you leak liquid shit for hours.
And if you do poo yourself it's a Good Thing. It shows your baby is almost out.

[fantashtic]

Rednellie - no and I just cannot imagine the logistics

[TaggieCampbellBlack]

[hrin] highly abhorrent poo squares.

[HappyJoyful]

After over 15 hours in labour - and knowing I needed a poo all the way through (bit like as Pickle describes- I think I was just like, ohh it's going to come!) it did finally come out in the final stages.. it wasn't nearly as bad as you'd imagine and honestly you wont give a toss! Infact, I was sort of oddly 'proud' as the Midwife was great and didn't even pat an eyelid but said 'you're pushing exactly as you should be, well done!' (she says recalling hazily)

Relax and accept it might happen and honestly don't worry, the midwife had gloves on and again hazy, but I think it was just sort of wiped up and gone from the bed and that was it in a matter of seconds. It's totally natural and all part of the process

[GossipWitch]

Nope, not with either of mine, but did have a poop during early labour both times so that helped.

[FurryFox]

I told my midwife I needed a poo. She put a small plastic sheet under me and said go on then do it, I was a bit like this . She wouldn't let me go to the toilet because I was fully dilated, or very nearly there anyway. I did it, she took it away in the sheet and that was that, she didn't bat an eye lid.

Dh saw it, we've had a giggle about it since. Wasn't embarrassing at all and mw really couldn't have cared less .

[Flisspaps]

I pooed in the pool. Several times. DH sieved it out. Not a peep from him.

I pooed on his dressing gown.

I think I pooed in the ambulance.

I think I pooed in theatre.

I didn't care. The MWs just quickly wiped it away and disposed of it. I was busy trying to force an 11lb 7oz baby out of my body, if that meant shitting on everything I passed along the way, then so be it - I just wanted him out!

There'll be disposable bed mats under you on a bed. The MWs do all the sorting and cleaning. When you push, they tell you to push like you're doing a poo so it's not unlikely that some will come out.

It's fine - the idea of pooing in front of people is mortifying under normal circumstances, but these are NOT normal circumstances!

[iamwhaticallpregnant]

Thanks all. My partner has a very cheeky sense of humour and I fear he is actually quite excited at the prospect of me pooing myself in front of him and will . never . let . it . go .
The power will forever be his. He is amazingly supportive - but does have a dark sense of humour.

Is it a plastic sheet ???

[iamwhaticallpregnant]

sorry - read all the responses now. Flisspaps - i am rolling around in agony laughing at ur response.

[ScottishLassAboutToPass]

Yes I poo'd with DD2. DH saw and sometimes mocks me for it! Midwife, DH and most of all me didn't care less and as said above just cleaned bed. Far more pressing issues to concern ourselves with!

[rednellie]

iam - your DH, my DH, they sound like peas in a Chris Moris soaked barrel. DH will never let my poo go. Apparently he found it 'sweet' and then proceeds to guffaw.

But I don't mind, it did felt like it was a watershed moment in my labour. And it wasn't gross.

fantashtic - I don't think they give enemas anymore as a) there's no need really and b) it can aggravate the contractions you're already having. It's like why they tell you not to encourage labour by downing loads of cod liver oil. Not very pleasant after effects...

[rednellie]

Not really plastic, it's more like a giant expanded softer sanitary towel...

[phoenixrose314]

I have tears running down my cheeks in hysterics reading this thread!!! Oh my gosh, it's almost enough to hope that I do poo, just so I have a hilarious story afterwards!!!

Lol sorry, I work with nursery kids so think I have a slightly immature sense of humour

[Pascha]

The midwife knew I'd had chilli for dinner the night before because undigested kidney beans float in the pool...

[GirlOutNumbered]

Omg I'm trying to feed son while reading this and I'm shaking with laughter! I am so so glad though that I didn't read this before I had a baby!

[iamwhaticallpregnant]

Honestly - every time I mention it he does a stupid grin and his eyes twinkle. I think if I did poo myself it'd be the best thing that has ever happened in his life - I think he will talk about it till the end of time. I think it will be our dinner party story forever. It'll be like if I ever take the piss out of him again or he does anything stupid he will just say "Whatever love, you shat yourself!"