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Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 3

(1000 Posts)
eagleray Mon 14-Jan-13 20:38:19

We've run out of space so here's a new thread so we can support each other and talk about the trials, tribulations and utter joy at being pregnant at 40+

All new members welcome smile

knickyknocks Wed 23-Jan-13 09:52:55

Thank god no, it's not whooping cough. Just a long running nasty virus - these things linger on little ones....DD seems to be forever full of snot at the moment....lovely image....I had the WC jab last Friday. All was fine, bit of a sore arm afterwards but no nasty side effects.
Mrs W agree with somewhere lovely to see you drop in, your posts always make me giggle.
somewhere hope you're feeling better today - and no, it's certainly not wrong to feel better just as you've put DS to bed. That golden hour when DD has gone to bed is an absolute luxury to me! Well done you, on timetabling your last 4 weeks of work. We're nearly there......!! I also have moments of excitement and sheer terror of having two. Very excited to meet the little man, but dreading those newborn days and having to deal with DD too. Just trying to placate myself by saying lots of us have done it before and survived and I'm sure I will too (even if it means that for a short while I'll be sporting a slightly unkempt look with mismatching clothes....grin)
badmissm good luck with that appointment today and crossing fingers for someone decent to see you! Let us know how you get on when you get the chance.
scarecrow your DD sounds an absolute poppet - gathering up the mugs is a very important job! And your job sounds very interesting - select committee evidence?

I've brought a plate of warmed buttery croissants and pastries into the lounge for everyone plus a pile of trashy magazines. Daniel Craig has promised to pop past later donning his tux armed with a dustpan and brush later to give the floor a bit of a sweep through for crumbs grin. Much love all xx

somewherebecomingrain Wed 23-Jan-13 10:22:35

No way - Daniel Craig sweeping the floor. The phwoar should I say. Btw a bit off Colin Farrell - he was rubbish in the rubbish Total recall xx

BadMissM Wed 23-Jan-13 12:25:29

knicky Croissants sound lovely, but I feel we need Johnny Depp to serve them properly.... (phwoaaar). The most worrying thing about that is that DD also fancies Mr Depp, even though I have told her he's been mine since 'Platoon' in 1986... (Vanessa Paradis was merely a passing fling). Even telling here he's older than me didn't put her off...

scarecrow Can your DD come and give lessons to mine? Keep finding fossilised crockery all over the house...

Off to next town to hospital to see diabetic person in a minute.... probably going to get a lecture, but hopefully some help too...will kepp you posted smile

BadMissM Wed 23-Jan-13 19:24:45

Yah boo. Have gestational diabetes, lots of lectures, and medication for the moment... But they did seem to take me a bit more seriously this time at least. Even after forgetting about me in a room for 90 minutes (seriously). They had to recall people as someone had 'forgotten I was there'.... But have now referred me onto physio for joint pain too....

cyclecamper Wed 23-Jan-13 23:11:09

Oh bad luck BadMissM that all sounds rotten. At least you've got a referral for the joint pain, hope they manage to sort something out for that!

I had a possible temp job offer, but they want 2 months work, cash in hand - Why can't they pay tax like any other employer? (I know it costs a lot, but frankly they live in a huge house in Surrey, they aren't exactly on the bread line!). It would be me that ended up paying it back if they got caught angry.

I finally have a mw appointment - it's in 2 weeks. I'm glad they aren't worried, but that makes me nearly 22 weeks by the booking in appointment! Still, I'm off to see the dr tomorrow so it should all be fine.

BadMissM Thu 24-Jan-13 12:42:32

cyclecamper OMG, will they not bring the appointment forward for you?

Argh, why can't people employ you properly....there seems to be more and more of that going on under this goverment....and if you get caught, you would be in big trouble, not them. My brother had a job where they deducted tax and NI, then afetr 5 years he discovered they had taken it, but not paid a penny...

somewherebecomingrain Thu 24-Jan-13 14:16:35

Hey cyclecamper pleased you got your booking in appointment at 22 weeks! When did you find out you were pregnant again? You must be feeling quite good on it to not have needed to see the doctor until now.

badmissm well when i first got on here people were finding out they had GD and as I remember it's an excuse to eat brown rice, lentils, pulses and lots of fresh vegetables - things us ladies like cos they know it helps their weight and health, but the DPs generally resist - and didn't somebody say they'd lost a stone on their GD diet. But maybe you don't like those foods. Anyway sorry to hear it but glad they're paying you proper attention.

Personally feeling so knackered. So pregnant. Did take floradix this morning and did get a boost. But it never last - none of these supplements do anything after a few days.

Then went to the dentist to have my root canal. Nothing could anaesthatise the tooth... some wierd syndrome where a tooth gets ultra sensitive before the nerve dies. They gave me some really strong anasthetic - said it could knock out a horse's tooth - but still no joy. Now wondering around feeling like a wobbly newborn colt - to continue the horse metaphor - lips all askew like Jacquie Stallone and no root canal.

Just got some more work through - wondering whether to say yes or not.

xx

BadMissM Thu 24-Jan-13 15:25:48

somewhere The dietician said there wasn't much I could do via diet because I eat lots of stuff like that anyway...DH will be a little resistant though, methinks....

I had exactly the same problem with a tooth which had to be root canal'ed, because of enexplicable pain, nothing wrong with the tooth.... It carried on hurting after that, intermittently. I thought I was mad, as had no nerves to hurt. Then 2 years ago had to have it extracted, as it cracked and got an abcess...again, lots of pain. It was then they realised it had 5 roots not 4...and one nerve had remained. Make sure they check!

Diabetes news still sinking in. They think now may have been very borderline even before pg....

I just want to cry though.

1) Have a boil at bottom of my nose which feels like it's sucking my brains out.... blush

2) The sodding buggering bloody stupid Employment Tribunal has been adjourned AGAIN. Was already adjourned from October-Feb, now re-adjourned because 'judge needed for case of national importance'. To 'somewhere between March and July'. Just tried ringing court to explain am pg, and have pain issues, and the chances of me being able to sit for eight hours a day for three days, with no painkillers, are slim. Guy couldn't have cared less.
'Well, just take off the day you are giving birth'
Me: 'I don't, and won't know. Also won't be in the day after, really'
'You must have some idea'
Me: 'DD was born 7 weeks early- you see the problem?'
'No. You must know'
Me: 'Well, what if I say I can come, then am in hospital'
'That's your problem' angry

ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH! This has been in court for two years now, with years of hell at work preceding it.... I wanted it settled before LO born, and before I'm too risky to sit in a court.... Want to cry, lots.sad

cyclecamper Thu 24-Jan-13 16:11:28

somewhere I found out at 16 weeks. I went to the dr today for the routine monthly appointment (at least she's on the ball!) and everything is fine as far as she is concerned, which is a relief.

BadMissM Oooh nose boil - yick! They do suck your brains out, it's a fact.
The employment tribunal sounds deeply frustrating. You'd think that in this day and age people would understand how pregnancy works! angry I hope things get better for you soon.

I seem to have lost my chance at that job by saying that I expect to be employed legally especially if it's more than a few days. The agencies just want the business so they push nannies into taking jobs that are cash in hand. I believe in paying taxes. It's not as if I'm a 20 year old filling in a gap year!

BadMissM Thu 24-Jan-13 16:15:57

cyclecamper And, I have to go with my hideously disgigured nose to stupid options evening at DD's school now...blush

Not just how pg works for Tribunal, but as is under DDA they know I have lots of health issues anyway....

Certain sectors are really bad for trying to employ people without paying tax and NI... Agencies shouldn't be handling them though....they know it's illegal...

somewherebecomingrain Thu 24-Jan-13 16:43:01

wow cyclecamper did you not have any tiredness/morningsickness/moodswings/wierd food cravings? I would ahve quite liked to be blissfully unaware at that point rather than hugging the toilet bowl and being a pregzilla monster.

badmiss are there bad consequences of you not being there because giving birth? If it happens I can't believe they won't understand - will your representative still be able to be there to advocate for you?

Sorry about boil, i've been there!

interesting tooth info - blimey can't any of us just be normal! have our appointments at normal times, respond normally to anaesthetic, have nice employers!!!!

Must download a bit more about tooth. It was just baffling - then dentist tells me it can't be infected because a live nerve can't be infected. Really? Living human tissue cannot be infected? Internet doesn't seem to back this up. At the very least he was not explaining it properly to me. He said it will die in two weeks and then i can have the root canal but that had the scent of placating bullshit about it. i mean i don't blame him, it's not his fault, i just don't think he explained things properly.

xx

MrsWooster Thu 24-Jan-13 19:58:43

Hi badmiss, I'm one of the other diabetesistas. THe tablets (Metformin) aren't so bad, if you can't do it via diet - you may be surprised though, as "good" stuff like fruit and fruit juice is an absolute killer and what really works is a sort of Atkins-lite diet with a bit of low GI carbs for laffs. The tablets, should you end up on them can be a bit nauseating if you have to take 2 at a time, so mAke sure you take them WITH food not on an empty stomach; even half an hour after food seems to be a problem. I also manage by massively reducing portions so I am the one with THe Weight Loss! I did have plenty of weight to spare so it's not a problem though I am gloomily proving the adage that after 40 you chose your face OR your figure, as I see my skeletal face with pleated skin instead of the normal rosy chub!
Meh, I've had a good innings at looking younger than my age so it's time to face the truth.

BadMissM Thu 24-Jan-13 20:04:42

somewhere Cics of me not showing would be the case would be dropped. I don't have a representative, union backed out on me.

My tooth was the same, no logical reason, but hurt like hell....

I long to be normal, would love just to have everything normal!!!

Mrs Wooster They are giving me Metformin, but haven't given massive amounts of diet advice...apart from 'avoid sugar'.... I have plenty of weight to spare, so probably won't look that skinny!!!

cyclecamper Thu 24-Jan-13 20:15:48

somewhere I had total, debilitating tiredness, and lack of appetite, but those can be symptoms of other things, such as menopause and ME and both those are rather more common than vasectomy failing after 15 years! (my husband had the snip 10 years before we met). I was a bit grumpy which I put down to the tiredness and I had no sickness at all except one day of a bug but my husband had a bug on and off for wees at the time, so that didn't count! I felt more sick this afternoon than I did any point up till then - I think gladys must have shuffled round onto a nerve or something. I have to say, there is definitely something to be said for missing out all the early worrying stages and finding out just as bump is beginning!

somewherebecomingrain Thu 24-Jan-13 22:31:14

goodness cyclecamper - i wonder if it makes any difference knowing or not knowing - you must have felt something was up. I am to this day intrigued by people who don't realise until the baby is born and sort of wish i could achieve that. I have a cousin on facebook who looks like a pipecleaner at 20 weeks but i looked like i'd swallowed a whole wild boar at that stage.

badmissm sorry you are so on your own hon with the tribunal. You must have incredible strength. I hope it resolves soon as it will be a relief one way or another to put it behind you. I hope you can do some stuff in the meantime to put it out of your mind.

mrswooster that's interesting so you can sort of low carb during pregnancy and lose weight? I've not - by some miracle - got GD but I've put on almost a full 2 stone and i've still got 10 weeks to go - really don't want to balloon up because it's debilitating, forget about looks (no time for that). Currently eyeing the 5:2 diet and wondering could I? surely pregnant women experienced famine in the olden days too (the underlying rationale for fasting).

I'm looking wierdly young as i've a) put on weight and b) have so much fluid pulsing round my body. all my wrinkles have disappeared and everyone is saying wow you look good. it is literally like i'm 5-7 years younger. i will shrivel up like a witch after I deliver!

knicky we are nearly there - you are, certainly! and if you are nearly there i will be soon! what is it, 6 weeks? glad no whooping cough - last thing anyone needs.

anyway floradix and extra folic acid seems to have given me an energy boost today. I hope it lasts. Want to do something nice with DS tomorrow.

My DP is applying for a job tomorrow morning. I think he is a good candidate and did a good application but it's also quite a good job and therefore there's bound to be competition.

xxx

somewherebecomingrain Thu 24-Jan-13 22:38:35

PS what has happened to eagle????

eagleray Fri 25-Jan-13 09:55:54

Sorry for absence - I am retreating from the world slightly as been finding things very, very stressful recently. I am fine, as is baby (we are being monitored a lot) and I will be back soon.

Thinking of you all, and thank you for your support and friendship xxx

somewherebecomingrain Fri 25-Jan-13 10:05:54

Totally understand. It's completely overwhelming and
shattering. Words can hardly capture it. Life at the source - so pure it burns almost. Glad you are both fine and will wait for updates. Xxx

knickyknocks Fri 25-Jan-13 11:55:14

cycle can't believe the attitude of those agencies.....you want to be above board and employers are overlooking you for jobs because of it. Ridiculous. Can't believe you're only just having your booking in appointment at 22 weeks....grin In some ways, I think it's brilliant - you've missed those scary first few weeks where you're wondering whether things are going to stick or not.
badmissm boo to the GD! And two fingers to that tribunal lot. Flaming stupid and so upsetting, you poor thing. Unbelievable how they are able to delay a case for so long (I say that but know how the court systems work due to DH being in the police and just KNOW the utterly ridiculous decisions they make). Agree with somewhere that your strength and resolve are amazing.
somewhere your tooth!! Ouch!!! I'm crossing fingers that it gets sorted over the next couple of weeks. Hugs and sympathy to the tiredness - it's all encompassing by this stage isn't it? Hope you get to do something nice with DS today. How old will DS be when your little one arrives? Ooh and good luck to your DP for the interview today xx
eagle totally understand. Lovely to see you drop in - please update another time when things are calmer. Much love and hugs xx

I'm fine, thank god it's Friday. 3 weeks today of work left. My pelvis pain is starting to make me look like I've got an incontinence problem when I walk which is nice hmm - and I'm not racing about anywhere fast. Quite frankly, if people think I'm moving too slowly down corridors/exiting lifts etc they can bugger off (good to see my pregnancy hormones working a treat.....). Have had 2 complete strangers rub my tummy in the past day. Err..personal space??!

I had a small feeling of panic when one of my work colleagues started talking to me about labour the other day - oh bloody hell - I've got to go through that whole thing again. Yes, I know it has to happen, but really don't love the pain aspect of it. My DH keeps saying 'but it'll be worth it won't it?' to which I want to reply that of course it will but I'm not sure he gets how painful I found it last time (sorry to the first timers for TMI - my first labour was quick and intense, hence no pain relief so you could say it smarted a bit.....)

BadMissM Fri 25-Jan-13 12:01:07

somewhere No, must just be incredibly, incredibly mad to go through with this hell! I was just hoping for some respite between tribunal and birth so could enjoy pg without that hanging over my head... also, financially so could actually buy some things for LO...Am trying not to think about it, but it's hard. First put in June 2011, then first hearing not til Nov 2011, then put off till July 2012, where not finished, (there I did cry), put off til October 2012, then adjourned, til February 2013, now could be any time from March-July, and they don't seem to give a toss about pg.... Bugger it, will give birth in courtroom if I have to!!

cyclecamper I'm only 14 weeks and look like I've swallowed a bus!

somewhere despite feeling cack have been told am looking good.... must be the mummy thing! Have been told to low GI during pg... could do with losing a few pounds!

Good luck to your DP for job applications!

eagle Just lovely to hear you and the LO are OK, sending much love and come back when you feel well enough! xxxx

Just still amazingly tired....but not sleeping. Drives me mad.

scarecrow22 Fri 25-Jan-13 14:07:54

Hello semi-strangers. Been lurking but crazy week as DH away and sister supposed to do bath and bed for DD but her daughter (my niece) had a really awful virus (poor mite at one point hallucinating with fever and thought there was an animal in her mouth hmm) and my sister's has and also away (never rains but pours!) so kept having to rush home an juggle favours. Plus pants pants pants week at work. Plus still don't know if I've for a job in two months so insecurity building again.

Anyway, DD been a total poppet and my mum helped out (unusual but a great success) and giddy spells gone, so lots of positives too.

So sorry about all poorliness and rubbish sounding low GI diets. We should get the pistachio and honey cake recipe off BBD and have one served up in the lounge, where this week's motto is " anything goes, and the children sleep" smile

BadMiss so sorry such a crap time: you deserve a total angel baby to make up for it. Somewhere tooth sounds agony: I think tooth ache actually alters your character by taking over your whole head so incl the brain - you spud v same considering: great news about work offer and DP's interview, if nothing else will be good experience for the next one. Eagle, so understand, sounds like deep nesting instinct; remember we are all here for you when you are ready, and we miss your lovely company. Knicky (I think) I am totally with you on the touching bump, I'm a big one for personal space, in fact I even feel a bit odd about LO taking over inside me ( don't remember this from last time bec DD so implausibly calm). MrsW lovely to hear from you: waves to you, cycle and her miracle magic LO, and any others I've forgotten.

scarecrow22 Fri 25-Jan-13 14:14:04

PS just took DD to theatre with a little friend. Best bits: the train, seeing Abi, (the friend), the cake, running around the bus stop, playing peepo with Abi, the train home, mummy pretending Bunny could talk in her ear to stop an OT whinefest on the train. Actually she enjoyed the play by end, especially "dancing" with the penguins. But in reality was just a reason to do other fun stuff smile

scarecrow22 Fri 25-Jan-13 15:06:03

I have seen it all now... At hospital for 28wk MW check and when I asked for a sample bottle (apologies) they said "we're not giving them out any more, you have to keep it"???!!!!???!!!

somewherebecomingrain Fri 25-Jan-13 16:07:40

Scarecrow! Good to see you back.

Took ds to physio just now. He has to wear bandage for 2 more weeks but everything healing well and physio said he'll be 100%!

Xx

BadMissM Fri 25-Jan-13 17:58:17

knicky Stupid tribunal and work have been ruining my life and DD's altogether for the best part of 7 years. Just want it to be over and get on with having LO and my life!

Think we all go 'ooh' to that labour thing really. Am not of the 'embracing pain' school. Still think best description ever in Marian Keyes, where someone described it as 'like shitting a sofa down O'Connell St'! smile

Scarecrow You're back!! Work insecurity and everyone in the world getting viruses doesn't sound good. When we were moving, everyone due to help got Novovirus...

They told me at hospital yesterday that they were hiding sample bottles as 'expensive and they're running out'. I told her it was either that or I pee in a pickled onion jar and she gave me one quicksmart!

Somewhere So glad to hear DS is doing well xxx

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