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Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 3

(1000 Posts)
eagleray Mon 14-Jan-13 20:38:19

We've run out of space so here's a new thread so we can support each other and talk about the trials, tribulations and utter joy at being pregnant at 40+

All new members welcome smile

somewherebecomingrain Sat 19-Jan-13 09:54:01

So much to say so little patience with my phone

Knicky glad your better one at a time
Is bad enough all three is a genuine nightmare

Sparkly - so lovely! Think your do has mixed feelings but is no against - ie little smiley baby will 'turn' him totally

Scarecrow - I loved your story about your daughter I mean it was awful but it captured the innocence and purity they have at that age. it was well told!

Badmissm you've had a stillbirth and they won't give you an ELCS? That sounds both horrendously wrong and like a breach of guidelines - go to health watch the new consumer NHS body. The hq is in London.

Newbies can't keep track of u all but so lovely your here!

Eagle I had a jan baby amidst the snow. There
Will be a way round the snow though damned if i can remembet what it was! Taking him out of the hosp into the whistling winds and then to the frozen car was
Really hard. But we have pics of him days after his birth next to icicles (outside the window) and it was all quite magical.

Anyway it's today no?

Hugs to
All

Xxx

somewherebecomingrain Sat 19-Jan-13 10:17:18

Omg DAMASH fellow pregnancy suffere! Such beautiful
News and a beacon of hope to me! Perfect
Weight lovely name. Tell us more about the experience And John Tate when you can

Xxx

somewherebecomingrain Sat 19-Jan-13 12:26:55

Ps badmiss I don't mean go there - just call them. Xx

BadMissM Sat 19-Jan-13 14:39:19

Scarecrow My snow-baby DD is also a happy soul...

As for names...when you have discounted the nice ones taken by people you like, the ones that remind you of awful dysfunctional children or adults you know, the frankly stupid, the sounds like someone's grandma, the amazingly chavvy...it doesn't leave many. If it's a boy, I'm stuffed! I can think of lots of girls names, but not boys!

bbd I have a default French setting too, but have to remember this DH not a bit French

Sparkly Not really feasible to change hospitals. In our trust MLU I'm not allowed to use, and hospital worse than one I'm in....next lot of hospitals 70+miles away...

somewhere I've had various awful complications, an ectopic...but the stillbirth and my DD's terrible birth were in France...they sound like they don't believe me. I offered to bring in my maternity notes from France, but they weren't interested. I think they think I'm making it up. I'll go and have a look at Health Watch

Have to go and see the diabetes specialist on Wednesday, as they have now decided they are concerned about blood sugar. Also got told to take a sample into GP's. When I tried, GP's secretary, affronted, asked 'who told you to bring that HERE?' Refused it. So I threw it in the bin, no way I could get it through to hospital. Am a bit sick of all of it to be honest. Then asked me why I wanted an appointment with the midwife...d'uh....ingrowing toenails?

Have house full of singing moustache'd 14 year olds, high on cupcakes..... so much for peace and quiet! I even made DD a moustache themed birthday cake in a rare moment of domestic goddess-ness...

scarecrow22 Sat 19-Jan-13 20:50:18

LittleMiss I join others in horror at your treatment. You must definitely seek help - also consider PALs (sort of customer /patients group for NHS), and for all their sins NCT is a charity (I have since read they def do cut prices if not free for pple genuinely finding fees hard), so should offer advice too.
On the plus side your daughter is turning 14 but for tonight at least will not be tempting sallow undeserving feckless boys (thinking moustache not great pulling accessory). (Do people say "pulling") still?

Eagle - what news. I can't get out of my mind what a wonderful sounding mum you're going to be. It's almost a crime you won't have six so more children can enjoy your mummy ing. Thinking of you (and still marvelling that you made it to age 3 after all those mishaps grin)

How you're all having lovely weekend x

BadMissM Sun 20-Jan-13 10:33:38

scarecrow NCT finally got back to me, when I'd almost given up, and they have given me lots of money off of the course (90%), so I've been able to book it. I'm going to look at PALS if this doesn't radically improve within the next week or so.

Daughter's party was just eight squeaky girls, moustaches, and much cake.

Had to laugh this morning though. My Polish friend took some nice pictures of DD for her birthday, dressed up. Her parents came to dinner at our house the other night, and they had totally misunderstood. Thought DD was pregnant and asked if she was married...(she is tall and looks much older), and were shocked when they found out it was me!!

knickyknocks Sun 20-Jan-13 15:48:32

badmissm so sorry to hear of the crap time you've had at your local hospital. I think I take it for granted a bit that I have a choice where I live of which hospital to go to. I wish you had the same, then you wouldn't need to put up with such hideous treatment. PALS is a good suggestion though. grin at your polish friend's parents getting it wrong!
damash wonderful news! Congratulations! How did things go? Smoothly I hope.
somewhere how's things with DS?

Still snowing here and going a bit stir crazy. Got to get out tmrw as have a couple of things planned, will just have to drive at snail's pace. Feel sorry for DH - he's got a very important course to go on which he's trained for, for ages and has to get the first train of the day at 5.15 - not too hopeful for it to be running. He'll be like a bear with a sore head if he doesn't get to the course.

Bump is going fine, weighed myself this morning, have put on a stone and a half. On track for the 2 stone weight gain I had with DD. On bump news, I'm noticing baby is much quieter than DD. I can feel him moving, but he's not particularly kicky. Just squirmy! I'm sure he feels different to DD. Anyone else on their subsequent pregnancy finding things are feeling different?

blueblackdye Sun 20-Jan-13 16:10:40

Knicky, yes, I found second pg movements very different from first one, maybe because I knew what to look for... Second baby is a girl and she was kicking, moving much less but earlier than DS. But placenta this second time was anterior. Now at almost 6 months, she is much quieter than her brother ! I guess there is no connection whatsoever between different pgs.
Hope every one is enjoying the lovely white cover outside although don't know how transport will be working tomorrow... I have to walk to GP for jabs and pick up from nursery so I am quite lucky tbh.
Eagle, thinking of you.
Waves to all other mums and mums to be !

MrsWooster Sun 20-Jan-13 19:15:53

Hi, another here with very different movement. Much more squirmy and kicky- hopefully doesn't mean she'll be 50 times lively than my easy going ds! She also seems to have dropped/ engaged and feels like she's only being held in by my pelvic floor... So best wear tight pants if I'm not to leapfrog to the top of the stats list with a 30 weeker! Speaking of which, I'm now 46 so if anyone updates list (soz, I am on phone, so can't) enter the grim stat and confirm my fear that I am The Oldest On The Board...

BadMissM Sun 20-Jan-13 19:58:21

knicky Am storing up suggestions in case I have to put my foot down and be Mrs Shouty (which I'm quite good at but hate doing). Times like this I wish I lived somewhere civilised in a larger place.

This pg already feels very different to DD.

BBD I want snow!! It's so unfair, we haven't had any! DH and DD want it so they don't have to go to work/school tomorrow! DD has long journey by bus into the complete arse end of the world the wilds of the Lake District...

Mrs Wooster Gosh, someone older than me shock! That said, I'll be 46 by the time LO born!

scarecrow22 Sun 20-Jan-13 21:36:28

Mrs W, updated you on my list and will appear when next paste - unless sb else gets there first. If nobody else with iPad uses iWriter it is fab (where I keep list to update).

BadMiss so glad NCT able to help. Also do consider asking their advice about your situation viz consultants and poor care.

Lounge has been a bit neglected, but there is an audition room full of lovely (buff) men hoping to get the gig next week, so we can take our pick. The coffee beans have been refilled with fresh ones, and the hot choc tin topped up after some big action last week. What muffins shall we order? See you there tomorrow.

From a winter wonderland, good night x

BadMissM Mon 21-Jan-13 10:49:50

It's finally snowing here (but not settling)... and today is the day the landlord has decided to replace the boiler...so no heat, no water, no gas.... and he will keep leaving the bloody front door wide open, so any heat there is is rapidly evaporating.....

scarecrow I will be asking the NCT for advice.... also someone suggested maybe a Doula? I was despairing where to find one around here til DD's friends revealed at party on Sat that her mother is a Doula...

I'm just hoping diabetes consultant on Weds doesn't ban me from cake...but I will still be able to enjoy virtual cake in the lounge smile

Kazmog Mon 21-Jan-13 13:29:06

Hi Ladies, thanks for welcoming me, unfortunately I joined prematurely as I started to MC on Thursday and I am waiting for a scan this week to confirm that I lost the baby. Good luck to you all x

Kazmog Mon 21-Jan-13 13:29:14

Hi Ladies, thanks for welcoming me, unfortunately I joined prematurely as I started to MC on Thursday and I am waiting for a scan this week to confirm that I lost the baby. Good luck to you all x

BadMissM Mon 21-Jan-13 14:05:09

Kazmog So sorry to hear that....sending hugs and positive thoughts xxx

scarecrow22 Mon 21-Jan-13 14:14:37

Really sorry Kazmog. Hope you have good support and heal soon, and look forward to your company again before long x

riversidelibrary Mon 21-Jan-13 18:39:37

Belated welcomes to the new fantastic Mums on the new thread, it's lovely to share our experiences.

Kasmog So sorry to hear your sad news, I wish you all the best and hope to see you back on the thread one day soon.

eagleray I hope things are well with you, and that your recent absence is a sign that your LO is on the way, or maybe even here! Fingers tightly crossed.

BadmissM I can't believe how appalling your local PCT is, I hope things resolve somehow. At least the NCT are being helpful. I was thinking of a Doula for a while but then I discovered how much they cost, really couldn't justify it when I think DP will be a good support.

somewhere What news about DS? Is his hand recovering ok? Hope your Mum is still holding up well too hugs

Damash Congratulations thanks on the arrival of you LO, so happy for you!

knicky Hope your family are all recovered and good health now, you've had a traumatic time!

scarecrow Are you still getting the dizzy giddy spells or have they gone now? Also I vote for raspberry and white chocolate muffins for our virtual lounge, heavenly with the a hot chocolate.

AFM I'm 39 weeks today and the DC1 is showing zero signs of wanting to leave his cozy warm bump. Getting lots of Braxton Hicks, but nothing else. Sooo want him to come naturally. Have a consultant's appt on Wednesday though to discuss induction if he doesn't come by his EDD.

somewherebecomingrain Mon 21-Jan-13 20:55:50

hello all sorry been away for a while - it's just been nonstop - after being bedridden with some virus, then DS's hand, i got toothache which felt like it was infecting my whole body (a longstanding tooth situation which suddenly went bad). Then snow. DS's hand worst thing in all of it but it has made for a terribly strange two weeks in which normal stuff has been put on hold.

Today it felt good to pick up where I'd left off and do some admin and some work. Sad thing is i've booked all these classes for DS and he can't do them - but next week he can.

riverside thanks for your concern - my mum is doing well, she's through her first bout of chemo and feeling good. The next will probably be worse but she knows how long it lasts and what to expect.

DS's hand is still in a bandage and we don't know really what it will be like when they take it off but they have told us to expect full recovery in due course. He's had to wear a ridiculous waterproof mitt to nursery - like his hand is going to space.

I hope you get your wish of a natural birth - keep us updated - I can't remember if this is your first or not?

knicky yes this one is different - more consistent movement, and softer. DS was intermittent mad kicking and total stillness. Presuming they're right it's a girl, it nicely sums up sexual difference if you know what i mean. Hope your DH got to his course and also that you got out of the house. Two stone is great - exactly what it should be - well done you.

kazmog so sorry hon. Hope you are back here soon.

Mrs Wooster! how are you my dear! Hope you've got those tight pants on! I seem to remember you telling us about your last one 'clinging on like Barnacle Bill' so hopefully you'll be ok! This is what riverside doesn't want so hopefully she's wearing loose pants.

badmissm hope you're getting somewhere - it's a serious oversight for them not to give you an ELCS with your history, you're not being petty or stampy-foot. I have just got 90% of NCT too - they don't even ask for proof - that was easy. I am just going to meet other mums in the area but not expecting much. Doula sounds great - i'd love one but will have to make do with my arthritic (but lovely) MIL with whom i'll probably be living by then. Didn't understand the doula concept first time round, literally couldn't place what one would do - but now see it is brilliant.

scarecrow hope you feeling rested. waves.

AFM i can't believe in 2 weekends time i'm moving into my new flat (we'll be sharing with MIL as she is moving house, and to be chain free she's sharing with us (and the rent) ).

Also in a month i'm stopping work. DP has been told by recruitment agencies that he has a 100% chance of starting work on any day he wants. I'm sad for him as it will mean putting his company to one side, but it also means we will be ok financially through DC2's early days.

My DS is going a bit bonkers at the mo - he knows we are moving again, he knows there's a sibling coming. I'm trying to be patient and mostly succeeding but it's tough.

Anyone else getting acting up from their DCs?

wave to newbies and anyone else i've missed

xx

knickyknocks Tue 22-Jan-13 12:48:53

kazmog so so sorry to hear your news. I really hope you're able to re-join this thread soon xx
somewhere DD not acting up yet, but I have a feeling we may have it coming to us when DS arrives. Hope the house move goes well - I always find moving stressful at the best of times let alone being in a 3rd trimester of pregnancy. Be careful please, and use pregnancy as your excuse as often as possible for not doing too much.....grin. Do you get on with MIL? I think I'd probably be OK to move in with my MIL for a short-term period because she's brilliant with DD and will be very hands-on when it comes to our new DS however, equally I think I'd probably be pleased to get my own space back when she went again.
Good to hear how your mum is getting on. Long may it continue doing well with the treatment. Plus, lovely to hear DS is expected to make a full recovery. Bless him with his waterproof mitt - not very handy when it comes to going to the loo and eating. Hope the space mitt can be banished soon.....
badmissm let us know how you get on with the diabetes consultant tomorrow. Crossing fingers that you get someone decent at your PCT this time.
scarecrow buff men in the lounge?? <stampedes to the lounge for a good leer>.

No news chez knicky. Terribly tired from not sleeping properly last night, and was told by DH early this morning just as he was leaving that he wouldn't be home till silly o'clock due to a leaving do which means I have the bed and bath routine for DD tonight....again......I don't think I appreciated my pregnancy lolling around the first time round. I could get in from work and just collapse, but this time I'm starting to feel proper exhausted. 3 weeks this Friday is my last day at work (with the exception of stupidly agreeing to come in for an all day meeting somewhere round 37 weeks...why oh why.........) Mat leave can't come soon enough. I'm crossing fingers for a couple of weeks break before DS arrives. Thankfully DD will still be at pre-school 3 days a week, so I'll be collapsing on a sofa then. Much love all.

BadMissM Tue 22-Jan-13 15:00:56

Riverside Haven't actually seen how much a Doula costs yet, was going to ring DD's driend's Doula mum and ask.... if is more than three pence and a button will be out of my price range too....DH will be great, but he panics, and DD a bit young. Rest of my family not talking to me...as for the muffins, anything as long as there's no vanilla (am allergic...)!

Eagle Anything happening??? smile

Somewhere It never rains but it pours....! Just when I thought things were getting better this year, get letter from Child Tax Credit saying another overpayment to add to first one...now owe them £11,500.00. Basically almost everything they've ever given me. They won't discuss it, just insist I'm liable..

Glad to hear DS is doing better and that you are all getting over the events of the past few weeks smile

It's not just the PCT refusing to give me an ELCS, but the attitude of 'how audacious to ask for one', was told 'we don't arrange those, but will do an EMCS'. Had 2 friends left in labour for 3 days before they got one, both nearly died and have had longterm complications since, so don't trust them. They also DO arrange them, have 26 year old friend who was allowed to arrange one...

First time I heard about Doulas in the UK....had read about them in American Baby books, but didn't know we actually had them now. Probably won't be able to afford one, though!

Ooh, exciting news about the move, hope everything goes OK with that!

knicky DD behaving in a peculiar way. Is also adamant she wants this to be a boy, so she's the only girl....

I hope that I get someone decent tomorrow or I will cry. DH can't come bacause of stupid appointment time. Know I will get lots of diet lecturing, but between possible gestational diabetes and other problems/allergies, is not leaving a fat lot I can eat.

Try and get some rest (know is not easy with a big one, let alone a little one....) xxx smile

scarecrow22 Tue 22-Jan-13 17:36:29

Popping my head into the lounge between childcare issues and work (not what need when my job is in the balance)... Before I forget, BadMiss, I looked at doulas for birth and if they are "training" (newly qualified doing first half dozen or whatever jobs) their rates are a fraction of normal. If you dig into their biogs some have been midwives, nurses and all sorts so still a good bet, I thought, plus you get to meet/vet them anyway for compatibility. There is a website calle something like doulas.co.uk where you can search near you, etc. good luck.

BadMissM Tue 22-Jan-13 19:41:55

scarecrow Eep, childcare issues....just got over those, only to get them back again now!

Had a look on Doulas.co.uk, and only one came up in our area....fully qualified. We are in the middle of nowhere really... I'll have to look and see if any training ones would come up here!

When DH taking one of DD's friends home from her party on Saturday, just after I'd talked to him about what Doulas were, she casually mentioned her Mum was a Doula (they've just moved here), so might ask her what going rates etc. are... Apparently she's already a midwife amongst other things too...

scarecrow22 Tue 22-Jan-13 20:55:51

Just have to pop back in (put DD to bed but now too distracted to catch up on work!)... to say that amidst the horror and chaos that is my parenting, something has gone right (DH's genes?!): this morning my sweet poppet collected up the mugs and carried them downstairs (okay, this is not a great ad for my mothering) and put them on the sideboard. Wow, and wow I say. Something tells me it won't last at 14, but it's a great help at two!!

On that note, back to reading select committee evidence... yawn (it is interesting, just been awake since ten to five...)

<waves to all and asks forgiveness for rare opportunity to show off grin>

somewherebecomingrain Tue 22-Jan-13 22:20:08

Scarecrow big Facebook style like for your daughter - obv v well brought up. I bet it was The Cutest Thing. Selcom reports - i used to read those - they can be v interesting.

Knicky I'll join you in a leer at the buff men. Sorry you're so tired I hope you can catch up a bit at the weekend. Pg generally is just getting hard for me so must be v gruelling for u as u work full time and are 4 weeks ahead.

Mrs Wooster where are you, you are so funny please drop in more often.

It's my favourite time of day - bed time.

Today good cause I was v productive, have tabled and scheduled my last 4 weeks of work.

Today bad cause physically felt awful. Just like there's not room in my body for this baby. Also encroaching excitement/terror at dealing with two. I always feel better as DS's bedtime approaches - is that wrong?

Xx

somewherebecomingrain Wed 23-Jan-13 07:53:34

Ps Knicky I hope it's not whooping cough- have you had the jab? I'm sure it's not -v v unlikely.

Xx

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