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Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 3

(1000 Posts)
eagleray Mon 14-Jan-13 20:38:19

We've run out of space so here's a new thread so we can support each other and talk about the trials, tribulations and utter joy at being pregnant at 40+

All new members welcome smile

BadMissM Fri 15-Feb-13 13:18:31

scarecrow Rang the French hospital yesterday, they were amazingly sympathtic, and are finding everything they can to support my case...and sending it to me free of charge (wish I could go back there!).

I'd even been reading about how to be really assertive in a pregnancy book just before I went in, so used all the pointers, decisive statements 'I really need and want an ELCS' etc.... ARGH!

knickyknocks Fri 15-Feb-13 19:39:13

remnant I'm so sad to read your news. I'm thinking of you. I hope that you and your DP find a way to connect again, even though I know this is going to be a terribly hard time for you.
sparkly I still can't believe your DH is acting this way given that it was a joint decision to have another DC. It's so hard to read that his best case scenario would be for a m/c.....the others have given good advice re mediation, but I know in the meantime living day to day with this hanging over you both must be unbelievably tough. I appreciate he's finding it tough too, but I really do think that he has no idea how hard this is for you. It's happening to you and your body. It's your body going through the most tremendous changes, I just so wish that he can find a way to give you the support that you need right now. Hugs lovely sparkly.
badmissm I'm still in shock at your treatment. So glad to hear the french hospital was so much more supportive. Hopefully, the notes will help your case for the ELCS. Crossing fingers.

And yes today was my last day at work (albeit that I have to go in for a meeting on the 22nd) but between now and that I have a luxury pedicure booked and a bit of reflexology. I made it.....! Next target is the big finish line...4 weeks 2 days....grin

knickyknocks Fri 15-Feb-13 19:39:13

remnant I'm so sad to read your news. I'm thinking of you. I hope that you and your DP find a way to connect again, even though I know this is going to be a terribly hard time for you.
sparkly I still can't believe your DH is acting this way given that it was a joint decision to have another DC. It's so hard to read that his best case scenario would be for a m/c.....the others have given good advice re mediation, but I know in the meantime living day to day with this hanging over you both must be unbelievably tough. I appreciate he's finding it tough too, but I really do think that he has no idea how hard this is for you. It's happening to you and your body. It's your body going through the most tremendous changes, I just so wish that he can find a way to give you the support that you need right now. Hugs lovely sparkly.
badmissm I'm still in shock at your treatment. So glad to hear the french hospital was so much more supportive. Hopefully, the notes will help your case for the ELCS. Crossing fingers.

And yes today was my last day at work (albeit that I have to go in for a meeting on the 22nd) but between now and that I have a luxury pedicure booked and a bit of reflexology. I made it.....! Next target is the big finish line...4 weeks 2 days....grin

somewherebecomingrain Sat 16-Feb-13 11:35:58

Crickey Knicky ... It's coming up! It's our time!

Sorry to be quiet - lurking like crazy but in a flat with no internet and barely any 3G.

Sparkly so please about your adjusted risk and so sorry about Partner. Agree with Knicky - dont understand why he's back tracking.

Badmiss I can't believe your having to fight for your ELCS so hard. I continue to be shocked. I hope you are using the pals and can and all those kinds of things. Well done on contacting the French hospital.

AFM one of ds's fingers is still numb right down to the base and it shouldn't be according to what the normal recovery is said to be so we're in a&e right now. Nursery says he has aptitude for violin.... But hell nerd his fingers to have sensation! Anyway am gonna be a pushy mum about getting it the proper attention.

Have terrible back and crotch and pubic pain after lying down or even sitting but otherwise pregnancy not too bad.

Have actually lost weight which seems a bit wrong - about a quarter of a stone since my peak. Good cause am overweight and baby def growing and kicking. But wierd.

Xx

somewherebecomingrain Sat 16-Feb-13 11:36:33

He'll need!

chummy1 Sat 16-Feb-13 11:55:32

Hello ladies,

May i ask for some advice please? If not appropriate on this thread, would someone kindly point me in the right direction?

I am 40 (nearly 41) - I very naively thought that I would plan my pregnancy like a business meeting. LOL! How wrong I was! I am struggling like hell..... .. finding a group of girls on this thread who are my age and reading your stories has been hugely comforting (sorry for gatecrashing!)

I am 42 days into my cycle. Normally 28 days. Spot on. Alway bleed terribly heavily. Trying for a baby for 2 years now. Absolutely no luck... not even a psooibility UNTIL this cycle.

Day 28 due on
Day 34 very light and bright red bleed for 2 days. (my mother bled thru all pg's)
Day 41 blood test - result on MONDAY sad - need it today
Day 42 (today) STILL BFN and now positive for ovulation test.
Sore boobs - worse today
wind (sorry if TMI)
Low tolerance (my poor sister suffered this thru pg's
Very emotional - cry easily

Hubby works away during the week. We have this weekend and next week off work together. Its normally a mad dash across the country to meet up when i get my smiley ovulation result..... do damn difficult but its our priority now!

Have ANY of you ladies experienced the same thing?
Could I be pregnant and the low HGC be due to my age? or am I being ridiculous? Do we try again this weekend and risk upsetting what could already be happening. I am not on an early menophase and have never been late before?

HELP so very gratefully received - so sorry for my ramble!!!

ChairmanWow Sat 16-Feb-13 13:17:34

Hi Chummy1.

Sometimes you do get a positive ovulation test when you're pregnant. I saw this happen on another thread. However the BFN could possibly contradict this. Have you considered asking for a blood test?

Other than that all I can say is that trying this weekend wouldn't affect things if you're pregnant. Also as far as I'm aware your HCG levels aren't any lower when you're older (someone might come along and tell me I'm wrong though).

If this isn't it I can give you some tips re regulating your cycle and the right time to do the do (mainly, don't wait til the smiley face, get plenty of sperm in there ready for the egg), though I might be teaching you how to suck eggs after 2 years of trying smile. Let me know if you want me to post.

Fingers crossed it's not needed.

BadMissM Sat 16-Feb-13 13:41:52

Remnant Still thinking of you, hugs xxxx

Sparkly and your DH feels that this is an acceptable way to behave? With my ex-H went to family therapy...which looked and things like acceptable behaviour and boundaries... might be worth a look? It looked at things like behaviour when pregnant and to pregnant women, and to women at vulnerable times... Ex-H considered his behaviour acceptable until he was told to his face by someone other than me that it wasn't...

Knicky I will get one, even if I have to scream and shout and.....! Was also hoping to get neuro onside about pain issues, but he's just moved my appointment from April to July, as...he's on holiday for all of that time! I've waited a year between appointments as it is!

Glad to hear you are finally on Maternity Leave, all getting very close !!!

Somewhere You too! I know about the lurking...we have no mobile signal at all in this house, ahev to go outside to text!

Our PCT notoriously stingy and bad at their job, so they won't pay for anything. When had MMC two years ago, and didn't miscarry, they wanted me to wait weeks and miscarry at home to save them money.... (I didn't let them).

Re DS's fingers...stomp and stamp if you have to, for LOs sometimes you have to do that to get what they need... !

I've been losing weight on stupid diabetes diet.... not good this early on really.Not that I didn't have a bit to lose....

Apart from that...DD due back from GParents tomorrow...have really missed her. She's had rubbish time as well from her texts and posts.... She won't want to see them if they behave like this.....

scarecrow22 Sat 16-Feb-13 19:02:27

Hello Chummy, and (v) welcome.
I have not done ovulation tests, and never worked out what BFN is, except to work out it sounds like a pregnancy test <blush>
However, I bled in both pregnancies - just once at beginning, first time v little, this time like a period (excuse tmi), and also tested negative, twice, at c 5 weeks. Only tested pos at 7 weeks.
Can't say what that means for you, just saying/proving odd things do happen.
Do keep in touch, especially if you are pg, of course. All the very best.

chummy1 Sat 16-Feb-13 19:39:49

Hi Scarecrow,
Many many thanks for sharing your experience with me. Having never been pregnant (at the grand old age of 40 - 41 very soon!) I have no idea what is/is not normal! if there is 'a normal' !

My boobs are horribly sore and this is the main reason for my questioning the PG test results. Took the tests to the extreme today.... Clearblue digi, ER and Boots! (obsessive ?? err probably!) all negative (2 lines on the digi but they don't count - the screen clearly said Not Pregnant! ) Monday was too far away! My bloods are back on Monday and I think this will confirm what we already know.

Time to try again... back on the horse! Who knows, I may be lucky and have an experience like you! I did miss a period and I do feel very tired and emotional however realistically, that's probably self induced pressure.....Its lovely to not 'feel alone, so thank you very much for taking the time to write to me. Wishing you a very happy and healthly pg.... Kindest, Chummy1

BadMissM Sat 16-Feb-13 19:43:05

First time I was ever pregnant (years ago) tested negative at 5 weeks and even at 12 weeks in test by my GP. I also had bleeding at the time of my period....

When I had DD tested negative the first time....

Is there a normal?

chummy1 Sat 16-Feb-13 19:59:30

Hi BadmissM , you are soooo right! Until a few days ago i thought that there was a normal but now i don't think that there is!

I find it amazing that you tested negative at 12 weeks! wow!!?? blood test or urine? Did you have other symptoms? ie you knew but the tests were 'disagreeing with you' ? I have no idea.... I thought i was but now..... oh who knows! My sensible head is saying.... after er what about 20 tests, its time to stop testing and accept that the lower abdo pain and boob soreness is coincidence or I lost a very early pg with that little red bleed!

Its GR8 to hear your story though.... I am learning every hour of every day! thank you

cyclecamper Sat 16-Feb-13 20:08:54

Hi Chummy, I think you are right - there is no normal! My sister never tested positive before 8 weeks for any of her 5. I have no idea about me - I was 16 weeks before I tested! If the low abdomen pain continues or gets worse, go and see the GP quickly though.

chummy1 Sat 16-Feb-13 22:34:36

another one! wow thank you cyclecamper. Its all so helpful to know.
If its neg on Monday (and i expect it will be) I will see the GP about the lower abdo pain. thank you for your advice. best wishes

cyclecamper Sun 17-Feb-13 18:04:37

BadMissM Hope your daughter is all fine after the visit to grandparents. My sister says the same about my parents - the children don't want to go there sad.

I think my husband is nesting - it started on Tuesday with pancakes (mmmmm), then on Friday he made scones and some buckwheat pancakes from an (out of dateblush) mix. Yesterday he made galettes (buckwheat pancakes) from scratch and brioche grin. Yum, yum, yum, yum smile. We had some of the galettes for lunch today as wraps with salad in them and brioche for tea. He's planning to do a veggie roast dinner tonight, which sounds nice too. At this rate I'll be the size of a house!

scarecrow22 Sun 17-Feb-13 21:01:51

Cycle, your DP sounds wonderful. Does he want to moonlight as chef in the coffee lounge? Brioche and my daily coffee at about 10am tomorrow sounds just the job. ... Going to have sweet (high-carb) dreams.
Grad mums redecorated their snug. Anybody fancy giving ours a once over. Thinking an ante room for massage and reflexology a good idea?

BadMissM Sun 17-Feb-13 21:20:31

Chummy1 Was a blood test!!!

Cyclecamper My ex-H was Breton, and galettes are a firm favourite in our house... DH is actually much better at making them than me, on the crepiere... (I make a mean batter but am crap at getting them the right thickness!) Just had some to toast the return of DD, as Buckwheat actually OK for diabetics (yay!). Really nice (but naughty and typically Breton) is lots of salted butter on a galette, then roll it up for breakfast!

DD just very glad to be home, I think!

BadMissM Sun 17-Feb-13 21:22:27

Still none the wiser about parents view of pg. Saw Dad today when he brought DD back... am now wondering if he actually heard me or whether he just started automatically ranting.... though DH and DD heard me tell him 3 times!

cyclecamper Sun 17-Feb-13 21:47:18

Sometimes I wonder if my dad's heard me - although instead of automatically ranting, he automatically talks about food. His reaction to me announcing that I was getting married (at the age of 39!) was: 'that's nice' followed immediately by: 'we got some leeks for 1p a bag in Tescos - we got 7 bags for 7p!' When I told him about the baby it only vaguely interupted his musings on when he needed to take the turkey out of the freezer for my sister visiting <rollseyes>. Glad your DD is ok.

Scarecrow He is lovely! The roast dinner was fantastic this evening. I'm very lucky smile.

scarecrow22 Mon 18-Feb-13 09:29:44

Chummy, thinking of you lots today. Either way, stay positive. And do bring news to the coffee lounge for support and or laughter x

BadMissM Mon 18-Feb-13 16:57:11

Cyclecamper That's it...the 'You're a complete failure' rant is one of his favourites, so hard to know. He spent most of his 45 minutes here between trains telling me about things he'd read in the 'Daily Mail', and complaining about his own health... although you'd think he might guess from the fact I'm not smoking...

knickyknocks Tue 19-Feb-13 13:20:26

scarecrow an ante room for massages and reflexology in the snug?? Sounds perfect! Just back from a luxury pedicure myself. Can't blinking reach down to those toes whichever way I try to get there.......

Today is my first real day of true relaxation. DD is at nursery, and will be tomorrow and Thursday, I'm in pure bliss watching trashy TV, feet up, with a reflexology session booked at home for this Thursday. Going to enjoy every second till chaos ensues in just a few weeks. Planning to pack the hospital bag this afternoon - crikey it's all getting a bit more real now.....! somewhere and scarecrow you must be feeling the same - not long now!

How's everyone else badmissm, cycle, sparkly?

PS chummy I hope you're OK whatever your news today. This thread proves if nothing else, that us ladies over the age of 40 can get pregnant and have a straightforward time of it, so don't believe the hype and the doom and gloom when people say it can't happen, because it can. When I spoke to my m/w about my age, she suggested that I wasn't the oldest lady on her books BY FAR....and that she had a large number of ladies 40 plus assigned to her smile.

BadMissM Tue 19-Feb-13 13:21:51

Am trying to summon up energy to attack the spare room which has loads of stuff plied in there since we moved in December, but will have to be the nursery. have been considering this for a while. Will move off of sofa eventually!

How many of us left in here that haven't graduated yet??

I've still a while to go...18+1 today!

cyclecamper Tue 19-Feb-13 14:00:08

I'm still here - 23+4.

No work so far this week, which is nice because I have 3 weeks full time (7.45 -7 3 days and 12 - 9pm 2 days) coming up which I am not looking forward to. Mind you, with me barely working and him off sick (he went in at lunch time today for the first time in a fortnight), I'm not sure how we are going to pay the rent this month confused.

I did a lot of sorting out yesterday and rather overdid it so ended up feeling rather rough. I did manage to clear enough space in the dining room to put the tandem from the hall in there, so I don't have to lift the tandem out of the way every time I want to open the door, which is a bonus! I was mainly looking for my husband's nebuliser, which he hasn't needed since I've known him, but does need now sad, but it seems to have vanished.

Whilst I was taking things down to the cellar, he made flapjacks - yum!

Frecklers Tue 19-Feb-13 15:36:52

Hi ladies! Can I join? I'm 42 in march ( eeek!) and 12+ weeks with baby no3! It's my DH first baby, we've been married 8 years so this was a huge surprise! I've got 2 older DD's (18 & 12) from a previous marriage. ( who don't know yet) I'm waiting for my 20 week scan to be ok first. No body really knows apart from some people at work who twigged very quickly with all my vomiting!
I'm feeling blinking terrible! Nausea is a nightmare, like the worst hangover in my life! It's great to know that there are others out there my age having babies. I was starting to feel like the oldest swinger in town. What doesn't help is I'm a midwife and despite knowing that having a baby in your 40's is the new 30's, some my work colleagues have given me the "aren't you old enough to know better look"! So as well as some moral support from you to me,even us midwives have worries too.. I'm here to offer the same in return and if anyone wants it the odd bit of midwifery advice too!

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