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Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 3

(1000 Posts)
eagleray Mon 14-Jan-13 20:38:19

We've run out of space so here's a new thread so we can support each other and talk about the trials, tribulations and utter joy at being pregnant at 40+

All new members welcome smile

knickyknocks Mon 11-Feb-13 14:46:04

grin yes indeed my last week of work! Hurrah! I feel like I'm crawling towards the finish line now....just can't wait to get to Friday. I'm finding the commute so tough - my mid back aches when I'm in the car for more than 20 minutes, so I've had to start driving like Miss Daisy, practicaLly sitting on the steering wheel with my nose prised up against the windscreen. The only other comfortable driving position is to lay the seat back so I look like a stroppy teenage gangster type. I think you'll agree ladies neither are a good look....
somewhere yes, we're both nearly there now! After such a long journey it is wonderful to have the finish line in sight. 4 weeks 6 days - how long for you?

Waves to Gracie and iclaudius. Hello! Lovely to see some new ladies. Hope that both your journey's are uneventful and smooth going.
badmissm your post re your Dad made me feel so so sad. his loss, but can understand your wish for normality. Just awful. Thank god for your DP, as he sounds wonderful.
cycle I know St Helier very well - lovely to see the staff making amends and hearing the heartbeat. Loving the sound of the birthing centre too. Sounds lovely.
eagle wonderful to hear from you. Hope things are still going OK. Those first few weeks are terrifying, exciting, exhausting all rolled into one. Plus you'll have raging hormones to boot. It does get better and things change so quickly. Looking forward to keeping in touch when I'm on the grads thread.

somewherebecomingrain Mon 11-Feb-13 16:19:42

it's 7 weeks 2 days for me Knicky if i get the c-section when i want it.

oooh 4 weeks 6 days!

it is amazing to have the finish line in sight. I do feel it's going a bit faster now.

Though i'm starting to get anxious now about having two! and remembering that it IS actually harder (though much more fun) having a newborn than being pregnant. I'm trying to think of a metaphor for pregnancy vs post-natal and i can't. Pregnancy is like being under assault, with a purpose that seems very abstract. Post-natal is like being under a much more severe and relentless assault - but with a totally graspable, unwavering and convincing purpose, and leavened by moments of transcendental glory and joy.

[smiles] re your driving styles. hope you can lie around LOTS when you get off work.

badmiss i just wanted to acknowledge about your dad - it sounds like he is projecting some terrible self-loathing on to you. How can he say you are a failure when you have a lovely daughter, another much wanted child on the way, a loving relationship and you are standing on your own two feet? He wants to see a failure... he should see what some people do to their parents! Not least me who landed back at my parents in my forties ("the pitter patter of massive forty-something feet" as this cartoon I saw about the boomerang generation puts it). He must be talking about something that is more to do with him than with you.

scarecrow glad your little girl is bouncing back. She sounds sooo lovely. Hope you are not oveworked - prob a vain hope. 9 weeks to go for you?

More AFM - I thought I knew tired. Then I moved house (lightly leavened with my MIL being rushed to hospital in the middle of the move - she's fine). I've felt like i've been floating outside my body for about a week now. DP being a handful re his new job - he's quite an emotional chap which is partly why i love him. Anyway i think my consciousness is almost back in my head now.

Flat amazing. Just feel worried the landlord will decide to sell - i haven't lived in rented accomodation for such a long time, i'm used to being owner occupier. But it's amazing.

xxx

BadMissM Mon 11-Feb-13 18:17:55

Knicky Yay for last week of work! My Dad...well, he just hears what he wants to and says what he wants to, ut am lucky have a loving DH and DD!

Somewhere You'll be there soon!
My Dad thinks everyone has a text book life where they marry their first love and a career is tenable and pays wonderfully. Ha bloody ha. I don't know what his problem is...he has all that and all the benefits of that in retirement...

Flat sounds lovely, and sure DP will calm down as gets used to new job! smile

In other news, DH's ex now kicking off, saying his DD feels 'left out of my pregnancy'. He's had to go round to the house to shut her up, so he will have hours of ear-bashing from her. This won't have come from his DD, but from her. They have been divorced for three year!!!!!

I have tried to talk to his DD re pregnancy( when she comes round to our house), but she didn't seem to want to, so was avoiding pushing it down her throat as didn't want her to get jealous. Despite being 3 years older than my DD she does play the 'Daddy's little girl' card even now.... ARGH!

somewherebecomingrain Tue 12-Feb-13 10:29:34

PG is getting so physically uncomfortable now. I think i've got mild SPD since the move. My feet hurt, my back hurts, my tummy hurts. I feel sick again - squished stomach. I've actually lost weight during the move.

Will sleep deprivation be better? I think it will be at first - a change is as good as a rest, then doubtless i'll forget how awful PG was (^not so much that I'll do it again^) and then be very fascinated by how awful sleep deprivation is.

Don't want to moan too much as I know others are going through worse. Just a little vent.

iclaudius Tue 12-Feb-13 10:41:55

Somewhere NOOOOO ! Newborn is easier than pg definitely! You can breathe and sleep and I know you get woken but you can doze off again minus insomnia .... No weight no spd no baby crushing lungs ... Fear not the future looks bright !

Gracie welcome xxx

ChairmanWow Tue 12-Feb-13 11:06:57

Hello there. I'm another newbie taking the leap from lurker to poster gulp

I'm 40 and currently 35 weeks pregnant with baby number 2. She's due on my son's second birthday. Yes, we do only have sex once a year. Anyway, this pregnancy has been utter shit so I'm totally fed off. Started with nausea 24/7 followed by a smattering of heartburn and exhaustion in the middle and is now being rounded of with the joys of SPD and rib flare. And to top it off we're supposed to be moving house next week but are in the world's most irritating chain. Thank feck my son is so gorgeous at the moment.

Anyway, it's nice to meet you all. I promise to try not to pollute this thread with my abject misery!

somewherebecomingrain Tue 12-Feb-13 11:09:08

smile iclaudius. that's nice to hear. Thank you! I do agree cause as i remember every time you look at your baby you are so happy and that somehow balances out all the negatives.

xxx

somewherebecomingrain Tue 12-Feb-13 11:14:37

chairmanwow i'm moaner in chief on this thread so don't be shy around me - knicky is having a much harder time but is much more stoical. I love a moaner to join! I've had a really s--t pregnancy too - partly the pregnancy (morning sickness, moodiness, fatigue, now last trimester general constant discomfort/pain) partly life events (sick mum, DS in scary but ultimately ok accident, poverty, family dramas, sick MIL, and moving house).

I really hope you are going to be able to move.

Glad you get to have sex at least once a year and how sensible that you keep the timing consistent smile.

xxx

ChairmanWow Tue 12-Feb-13 11:32:32

Sex once a year now seems like such a colossal task, but if I ever, ever feel sexy and up for it again I will be using the coil, the pill, a cap, a femidom (do they still exist?) and double wrapping my husband so I never have to do this again. In fact I might just grab the kitchen scissors and hack at my hubby's tubes right now!

Okay, so I'm being melodramatic. I do try to remind myself that I'm damn lucky to be having a baby at 40, I really wanted one of each and that's what we're getting etc. But it is good to find a space among women my age where I can have a good old moan.

Thanks! thanks

somewherebecomingrain Tue 12-Feb-13 11:41:05

Love it - i feel exactly the same way! Good tip re the contraception - gonna stock up now!

blueblackdye Tue 12-Feb-13 11:41:48

Well Chairman one of us has decided to get sterilised at the same time as giving birth to her 3rd DC by C-Section ! Anyway, welcome to the thread, as you have seen, these Ladies are full of fun and so supportive. i am a Grads now but still commenting from time to time ! You are nearly there, 5 more weeks to go, hey ! The light at the end of the tunnel...

ChairmanWow Tue 12-Feb-13 11:59:55

Thanks for the welcome BlueBlack. There does seem to be a lot of good humour on here, also lots of sensible advice and quite a few feisty discussions. I went onto Baby Centre for a bit as I have the app and it was full of young 'uns slagging off midwives and worrying that they were unable to shave their bits prior to birth, cos we all want that 'porn star' look when we're pushing our our babies (and usually some poo at the same time, as I pointed out). I think I became a bit too opinionated for them!

And absolutely - just 5 weeks or so til I meet my gorgeous girl. Anyway, I've spent the last 10 minutes coating my stomach with Gaviscon. Time to brave some food!

Thanks again for being so welcoming.

blueblackdye Tue 12-Feb-13 12:16:36

Yes Chairman leave the youngsters to their illusions ! Childbirth means losing dignity for most women, as you mentioned. They will soon find out that first time Mum job excludes at least for a while being sexy... I don't know how some Mums can still wear high heel shoes while pushing baby and handling phone and coffee ! Of course they are not aware either that they slow down every one else and take up the whole pavement.

blueblackdye Tue 12-Feb-13 12:18:05

Hum, I may have made myself some ennemies with my last comment on high heel shoes... Too late ! Hope MNHQ won't delete my post smile

sparklysapphire Tue 12-Feb-13 12:23:38

Knicky, wow your last week at work smile, I hope it rushes by and you can then give up your unusual driving positions and maybe have a bit of a rest before LO arrives, sounds like you need it.

Somewhere, you sound like you're settled in after your move, glad you're pleased with your flat. I hope you're DP calms down about his job - but new jobs are always stressful - so you can chill out a bit before the birth. I'm sorry you're feeling so rough though, it sounds like the move didn't help. I hate moving anyway and I always think anyone who moves house in late pregnancy is extremely brave.

MissM, I'm sorry that your dad was so negative about your pregnancy, but as knicky says, it sounds like he's missing out, not you.

Cyclecamper, glad everything is going well and you got a tour of the labour ward. Your midwife led unit sounds lovely, and how reassuring to hear the heartbeat.

Scarecrow, you're right of course, we're not the first couple to go through this (Chris Hulne and his wife spring to mind). But it was like this last time, and from what DH said, when we discussed the possiblity, I really thought it was going to be ok this time. I was working over the weekend, but it seems like he doesn't even want to be in the same room with me at the moment, so talking seems a long way off. I can't see him going to Relate, but I might, but I'm not even broaching that at the moment.

The m/w has been to book me in this morning (I didn't tell DH) so it's all seeming a bit more real. I asked her about not going over 40 weeks if you're over 40, and she didn't think it was a problem. I'd really prefer not be induced again, but if it's best for the baby, then I suppose I'll have to. Also my due date is the end of August so that's a bit tricky for school years.

Hi to iclaudius, gracie & chairman, waves to everyone else.

somewherebecomingrain Tue 12-Feb-13 13:26:14

smile blueback re the young ones. can't believe how excited the 20 and 30 something ladies get on my april thread about brands! brands of baby clothes and buggies.

one thing i will get excited about is brands of nursing bras as i have huge knockers - at the edge of the known bra size world. anyone in a similar position i have a few thoughts.

sparkly so sorry to hear about your DH. My DP went off sex when i was pregnant first time round when i had the most enormous surge of interest i've ever experienced in my life (sorry if TMI... ) and i felt really hurt and shocked. He generally just wasn't interested in the amazing biological process i was going through and it contributed to my sense of isolation. he seemed in fact to find it a bit ewww and as if it was me kind of choosing to be a bit ewww so i was sort of to blame. I had imagined him rubbing my belly and taking photos as men are supposed to do but he just seemed bored and faintly disgusted by the whole thing.

he's much better this time but he's had a lot of therapy

Did your DH change after the baby was born last time? If so can you wait it out? really hope you are feeling ok with it.

ChairmanWow Tue 12-Feb-13 14:00:57

Oh god, I'm at the edge of knocker reason as well somewherebecomingrain. It's got worse with each pregnancy. And I'm only 5ft 1in so I look like my whole upper body is boob (apart from when I am pregnant, when I'm just boob and bump with stick arms and legs). Please, share your bra thoughts with me. Oh, and I forgot to say earlier, I'm sorry you've had so much life stress as well as pregnancy nightmare. I hope things are looking up for you soon.

sparklysapphire I mentioned the induction thing to my midwife last week and she said none of the Manchester hospitals do it based purely on age. There would need to be other risks. She also said that most of the middle class fortysomethings round here would refuse induction anyway. There's probably some yogurt knitting incantation ceremony they do to try and bring on labour instead. hmm

I've got very mixed feelings - on the one hand I don't want to be induced, on the other I went 12 days over last time and my son was one lazy fetus so I spent the whole time paranoid. I guess there isn't some magical process whereby your reproductive system gives up on your 40th birthday. I just hope this little one is a bit more punctual or at the very least more wriggly than her big bro.

knickyknocks Tue 12-Feb-13 14:14:04

sparkly you poor love, things sound so stressful for you. I'm still gutted for you that he was initially fine about everything then when the pg was confirmed seems to have run away from it all. Men have that option don't they?! Things must be difficult to say the least in your house. at the moment, sending you big hugs. On a completely different note, when I suggested to my m/w and consultant about being induced at 40 weeks, they both said it wasn't the policy at my particular trust (Epsom and St Helier). I'm fairly pleased about that, but wouldn't be adverse to having a sweep done around 39/40 weeks to see if that gets things going. It certainly worked with DD, so am hoping for the same magic to happen!
somewhere bless you - stoical me??? Thought I'd managed to out-do everyone with my constant me me me gripes! You poor thing with those aches and pains - completely understand. Any length of car journey for me now renders me into a bit of a wimp with mid-back pain. Need to get this baby out soon!! PS Your way with words is always marvellous - particularly enjoyed your description of feelings of pg v's post-natal. As per usual you hit the nail absolutely on the head with your descriptions.
chairmanwow you are most definitely very welcome on this thread - moan away about how you're feeling. I certainly don't think pregnancy is the most glowing wonderful time to be had. To be truthful it is merely a means to an end that I want. I will never put myself through another pg again - of course I remain feeling completely blessed that I did get pg, I spent about 18 months on the 40+ conception thread wishing every month that it would be my lucky month, which at last of course it was - but doesn't mean to say I like the flaming process - morning sickness, SPD does not make a happy knicky. BTW looks as if we're very close on due dates 17/3 for me. Yours must only be a couple of days later?
badmissm oh blimey now the ex is kicking off saying the DD is feeling 'left out' after your attempts to do the right thing?? OMG - AAARRGGHH - as you say!

Lastly just to say, will update the stats thread - I wonder how far to the top I'll be?!

knickyknocks Tue 12-Feb-13 14:19:57

Stats list as promised.....there are a couple missing-in-actions: Swanlike, nananaps, spiderbabymum, the noodles - all due imminently. Wherever they are I hope things progress quickly and smoothly. Has Riverside had her baby - or is my baby brain playing tricks?

GRADUATED
10000Fireflies, DS, 21 June 2012, EMCS
Hpbp (now Blueblackdye), 41, DS1 almost 4yo, DD2 Anastasia, 29 July 2012, VB
bytheseaside, DD1, 25th/26th September, EMCS (six weeks early)
Firstbubba, DS Jamie born 2 Oct, EMCS
Littleredmonkey 43, DS1 Dylan, 4th October EMCS
Fjordmor 41, DD1, 3 Oct, EMCS
Midget 41, DC2 16 Oct VB, but EMCS for placenta
Mrs”Oldandcobwebby”45, DD1, ELCS 19/10
Exexe, DC3, due for ELCS 17/10?
ValiumQueen 43, DC3 for ELCS 25/10. Jacob
Knottyhair DC2 Rosa b 17/12 ELCS 8lb 1oz
Crazyforbaby, 44, DC6 - had baby in Dec
ClickingTock, 40, - had a baby girl, early Jan
Eagleray, 41, DC1 Jan Girl
Damash12, 41, DC2, due 29 Jan ELCS booked 17/1

PG
Riversidelibrary, 42, DC1 due 29/1, Boy
Swanlike, 41, 31/1
Nananaps, 42, due Feb?
Spiderbabymum, 40, due Feb?
TheNoodles, 41, DC1 due 14/3
Knickyknocks, 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster, 45, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Somewherebecomingrain, 40, DC2 girl due 11/4
Scarecrow22, 42, DC2 due 22/4 prob ELCS at 39/40 (DD b 12/10)
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Onemoreforgoodmeasure, 40, DC1 due 06/06
Siri1, 41, DC1 due 12 June
Lotsofcheese, DC2?, due June?
BadMissM, 45, DC2, due 22/7
Cyclecamper, 42, due July/Aug
Newchoos, 40, DC2?, due July/Aug?
ScubaSarah, 39 (40 soon!), due July 22-Aug 1
CaliBee, 42, DC4 due Aug (1st DC for DP), with our hopes & support
Remnant, 43, DC2, due Sept
Buzzbee, 40, DC2, due Sept?

knickyknocks Tue 12-Feb-13 14:22:06

Oh gosh - I must update the list, I made a faux pas with the pregnancy list. Here it is again, corrected.

GRADUATED
10000Fireflies, DS, 21 June 2012, EMCS
Hpbp (now Blueblackdye), 41, DS1 almost 4yo, DD2 Anastasia, 29 July 2012, VB
bytheseaside, DD1, 25th/26th September, EMCS (six weeks early)
Firstbubba, DS Jamie born 2 Oct, EMCS
Littleredmonkey 43, DS1 Dylan, 4th October EMCS
Fjordmor 41, DD1, 3 Oct, EMCS
Midget 41, DC2 16 Oct VB, but EMCS for placenta
Mrs”Oldandcobwebby”45, DD1, ELCS 19/10
Exexe, DC3, due for ELCS 17/10?
ValiumQueen 43, DC3 for ELCS 25/10. Jacob
Knottyhair DC2 Rosa b 17/12 ELCS 8lb 1oz
Crazyforbaby, 44, DC6 - had baby in Dec
ClickingTock, 40, - had a baby girl, early Jan
Eagleray, 41, DC1 Jan Girl
Damash12, 41, DC2, due 29 Jan ELCS booked 17/1

PG
Riversidelibrary, 42, DC1 due 29/1, Boy
Swanlike, 41, 31/1
Nananaps, 42, due Feb?
Spiderbabymum, 40, due Feb?
TheNoodles, 41, DC1 due 14/3
Knickyknocks, 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster, 45, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Somewherebecomingrain, 40, DC2 girl due 11/4
Scarecrow22, 42, DC2 due 22/4 prob ELCS at 39/40 (DD b 12/10)
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Onemoreforgoodmeasure, 40, DC1 due 06/06
Siri1, 41, DC1 due 12 June
Lotsofcheese, DC2?, due June?
BadMissM, 45, DC2, due 22/7
Cyclecamper, 42, due July/Aug
Newchoos, 40, DC2?, due July/Aug?
ScubaSarah, 39 (40 soon!), due July 22-Aug 1
Remnant, 43, DC2, due Sept
Buzzbee, 40, DC2, due Sept?

sharni20 Tue 12-Feb-13 14:23:37

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ChairmanWow Tue 12-Feb-13 15:14:30

knickyknocks I'm due on the 15th. She'll be my second. My son was spookily born in the 15th March too, in 2011. Almost due date buddies grin

ChairmanWow Tue 12-Feb-13 15:16:07

Actually, when I say my son was spookily born on 15th March I don't mean the birth was haunted or anything. Unless you count the strange mooing noises I was making for about 6 hours. I mean it's spooky that it's the same day.

I'll get me coat. blush

somewherebecomingrain Tue 12-Feb-13 15:49:49

yes yes riverside has had hers - she had the tear (ouch) but otherwise well pleased as i remember.

xx

somewherebecomingrain Tue 12-Feb-13 15:53:09

Anyone object to me moving the women who's due dates have passed? I am a bit worried about swanlike looking back - she had some unusual complications. I hope she and baby are ok.

GRADUATED
10000Fireflies, DS, 21 June 2012, EMCS
Hpbp (now Blueblackdye), 41, DS1 almost 4yo, DD2 Anastasia, 29 July 2012, VB
bytheseaside, DD1, 25th/26th September, EMCS (six weeks early)
Firstbubba, DS Jamie born 2 Oct, EMCS
Littleredmonkey 43, DS1 Dylan, 4th October EMCS
Fjordmor 41, DD1, 3 Oct, EMCS
Midget 41, DC2 16 Oct VB, but EMCS for placenta
Mrs”Oldandcobwebby”45, DD1, ELCS 19/10
Exexe, DC3, due for ELCS 17/10?
ValiumQueen 43, DC3 for ELCS 25/10. Jacob
Knottyhair DC2 Rosa b 17/12 ELCS 8lb 1oz
Crazyforbaby, 44, DC6 - had baby in Dec
ClickingTock, 40, - had a baby girl, early Jan
Eagleray, 41, DC1 Jan Girl
Damash12, 41, DC2, due 29 Jan ELCS booked 17/1
Riversidelibrary, 42, DC1 due 29/1, Boy

AWAITING UPDATE
Swanlike, 41, 31/1

PG
Nananaps, 42, due Feb?
Spiderbabymum, 40, due Feb?
TheNoodles, 41, DC1 due 14/3
Knickyknocks, 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster, 45, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Somewherebecomingrain, 40, DC2 girl due 11/4
Scarecrow22, 42, DC2 due 22/4 prob ELCS at 39/40 (DD b 12/10)
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Onemoreforgoodmeasure, 40, DC1 due 06/06
Siri1, 41, DC1 due 12 June
Lotsofcheese, DC2?, due June?
BadMissM, 45, DC2, due 22/7
Cyclecamper, 42, due July/Aug
Newchoos, 40, DC2?, due July/Aug?
ScubaSarah, 39 (40 soon!), due July 22-Aug 1
Remnant, 43, DC2, due Sept
Buzzbee, 40, DC2, due Sept?

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