Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

B/f-ing a newborn while DP sleeps

(20 Posts)
DeathMetalMum Mon 14-Jan-13 14:11:24

First dc we lived in a flat so I went to a nice comfy chair in the living room.
Now we are in a house I will be feeding dc2 in bed hopefully. Dp should sleep through it, both of us are quite heavy sleepers and not comfatable with co-sleeping. I have woke up to find dp asleep half on top of me in the past.

lovemybabyboy Mon 14-Jan-13 13:59:37

I BF in our bedroom in bed, DP is a heavy sleeper and didn't wake up.

Missingthemincepies Mon 14-Jan-13 12:26:07

I slept in the babies room for the first 6 months. I ebf and DS wouldn't take a bottle so there was little point us both being exhausted. Planning the same this time, in fact have already moved at 27 weeks as we were disturbing each other so much.
I ended up cosleeping as DS fed a lot, sleeping for only 45 mins at a time. Hadn't planned to cosleep but it was a lifesaver. I'd fallen asleep in the feeding chair too many times and was terrified I'd drop him. I wouldn't have co slept with DH in the bed too so it worked out well for us.

CookieMonster88 Mon 14-Jan-13 12:03:17

I started off feeding in bed but I kept having nightmares that I had fallen asleep on DD so I now feed her on a comfy ikea chair in the nursery.

I know it should be "you should share my pain of nightfeeds" but what's the point in us both being knackered by morning, I find DH is more useful during the day/evenings if he has a better nights sleep so I can have a break then.

MulledWineandScully Mon 14-Jan-13 10:22:05

btw I've got one of those Lumie lamps designed for SAD that you can 'dim' up and down to a level that is enough to see by. It really makes life a lot easier as I find even a bedside light is very bright.

UniS Mon 14-Jan-13 10:08:49

DS and I had the big bed, DH had the spare room. Only for a few weeks till things had settled down a bit, then DS in cot next to bed, DH and I in bed. DS would feed a couple of times in the night and DH would more of less sleep through it. I used a very low wattage bulb in a bed side lamp, so had just enough light to find DS but not so much that DH was majorly disturbed.

Doraemon Mon 14-Jan-13 10:04:43

Lora - have you looked at any of the threads about co-sleeping? I can appreciate your anxiety about falling asleep on the baby (and you must be knackerd), sharing a bed with your baby can be safe if you follow a few precautions whereas falling asleep on the sofa is much higher risk.

I used to sleep through anything and everything (smoke alarms etc) but once I had DS1 it all changed and I still wake up quickly in the night if either of my boys needs anything (they are 7 and 5 but still wake with bad dreams sometimes/feeling poorly/wondering whether it's time to get up - no it isn't, go back to bed). DH will wake up if kicked sufficiently but then takes so long to come round (liable to stand by the bed looking puzzled and half asleep, not sure where he is or what's going on) that generally I have done most of the night stuff. I am trying to get him more used to having to deal with any issue with the boys though as I'm b****red if I'm going to be feeding the baby all night and rescuing teddies that have fallen down the side of the bed. DS1 and 2 co-slept and fed several times a night for a long long time so I am expecting DD1 to do the same.

MulledWineandScully Mon 14-Jan-13 09:53:21

With DD I could only feed in bed, I just wasn't comfortable anywhere else. She slept at DH's side and he would do nappies and pass her to me, make me a cup of tea, bring me biscuits, then leave me to feed her, then I'd wake him up again and he'd put her back to bed. Halcyon days!

He says with this one I'm on my own at night but we shall see... I suspect he'll go into the spare room but I'm going nowhere.

brainonastick Mon 14-Jan-13 09:52:13

Whatever maximises sleep for all of you, so I recommend your dh gets acquainted with the sofa.

So for us, that meant dh in another room or on the sofa bed for a few weeks. For dc1, we got expressing/bottles sorted out quite early, so dh could do say one night feed a week to then give me a break (after the first few weeks, when dc was in more of a routine). For dc2, bottles were never possible, so that was just all down to me.

Rainbowbabyhope Mon 14-Jan-13 09:46:45

My DH won't be going anywhere! I am going to exclusively breastfeed at night and he will be changing nappies and settling back down to sleep. This way we both get to bond with LO and experience every aspect of her life including night time disruptions!

emmyloo2 Mon 14-Jan-13 07:32:27

I breastfeed in our bed and my DH would doze on and off plus would help change the nappy, re-settle etc so I didn't feel as if I was doing it all alone. I used to use a lamp and read my kindle while I breastfed. My DS1 was quite good and by around 6 weeks only fed once during the night and by around 8 weeks was sleeping through. (I should add the caveat that his brilliant sleeping did not last - he is now 2.2 and I think he slept better when he was a newborn!!).

I am due to have a DD in May and will do the same thing. Baby is moses basket next to the bed and will feed her when she wakes in bed. My DH is brilliant though and would never ask me to feed somewhere else so he can sleep. He is not brave enough! Plus he liked being around while I was feeding and he could sleep through a tornado so it didn't affect his sleep much. And quite frankly, too bad if it did!

ilovecolinfirth Mon 14-Jan-13 04:13:33

My husband happily sleeps through it all. However, the first two weeks - when he was on paternity leave, he was invaluable. Getting up with me, pacing the room,trying to get our son off to sleep... I'd forgotten from first time how exhausting those first weeks are, when a new baby doesn't realise night time is for sleeping!

Woodifer Mon 14-Jan-13 04:09:53

I got a lamp from b&q, it has three brightness settings, and you tap it to make it come on quite dim.

Needs old fashioned bulb, and you need to tap briefly through the brightest setting to turn off, but was pretty cheap. Got one for our room and baby room.

BananaPie Mon 14-Jan-13 04:09:15

I used to leave and sit in a chair in another room. It's not all that comfy to sit up in bed to bf anyway.

tinyshinyanddon Mon 14-Jan-13 04:01:17

I'm with the majority - if I am up nursing our child then dh can bugger off to the sofa if he ever DARED to complain that I interior his sleep.

Jakeyblueblue Mon 14-Jan-13 02:43:44

Seperate bedrooms - secret to a happy marriage grin
We've often ended up in seperate bedrooms for a long time as dh snores but since ds (18 months) was born, its become a permanent fixture. He was 10 lb born and hungry all the time. Wanted feeding hrly for weeks. Co sleeping was the only answer and it worked so well for us that we've stuck to it. In fact dh just bought himself a new bed for his bedroom grin

Lora1982 Mon 14-Jan-13 02:07:40

Pfft im on the sofa with my newborn because i was scared about falling sleep on the baby and im feeding practically hourly right now... After reading i think i might start getting him to sleep on the sofa if he needs it

HappyAsASandboy Sun 13-Jan-13 23:31:32

I agree with 5madthings - if your DP wants peace and quiet, he can go somewhere else for it. You need to be comfortable in your own bed for the little, broken, sleep you'll get. Plus, if he's anything like my DH, he'll sleep though 99% of the feeding, despite being restless and easy to wake the rest of the time hmm

Congratulations on your imminent arrival smile

5madthings Sun 13-Jan-13 23:26:08

I stayed in the bedroom and if dp needed/wanted a better nights sleep he relocated to the spare room or the sofa.

Nicky1306 Sun 13-Jan-13 23:24:42

Hi do DC2 is due in 5 weeks and I plan on ebf again and we will have him/her in our room with us.
Do you/did you leave your bedroom for the night feeds? I don't want to wake DP. His sleeping pattern is terrible as it is and offen struggles to get back to sleep or wakes up for no reason. I'm conscious of making this worse especially as he has a 50 min daily commute on the motorway to contend with.

X x

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now