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I know, I know, I AM incredibly grateful... but...

(22 Posts)
hopeful92 Thu 03-Jan-13 21:08:36

I know exactly how you feel. I have been hospitilized with severe dehydration due to hypremesis, was in for 3 days (this was at 18 weeks had been throwibg up all day every day since 4 weeks) and all people can say is oh its just a bit of.morning sickness or "oh wait til the sleepness nights come you will be wishing for a bit of morning sickness" erm I don't think so, it toik 11 drip bags I was that dehydrated, it annoys me that people tell me I should just be gratefull that I am pregnant!

HumphreyCobbler Wed 02-Jan-13 21:58:11

Pregnancy sucks. I separate it in my head from the baby. I also cannot bear the way people who had relatively easy pregnancies can't imagine that other people may feel worse that they did. Do they have no imagination?

saycheeeeeese Wed 02-Jan-13 21:52:39

I hated pregnancy, and the newborn stage too....not ashamed to admit it we cant all be mother earth!

I find my toddler very enjoyable though...all the hard work pays off smile

Ficidy Wed 02-Jan-13 21:17:04

Delighted I found this thread. I'm only 8 weeks pregnant, but have been feeling like hell. Absolute hell. It took us 3 years and a few rounds of IVF to get here, so I feel guilty complaining, but I really am in agony. abby81, I'm a teacher too (secondary) and really hoping (probably against hope!) that I'll be feeling a bit better by Monday. I don't know how I'll cope in class.

It's nice to be able to have somewhere to moan though!

abby81 Wed 02-Jan-13 17:38:55

I am so glad I found this today! Am 7 weeks and have been feeling sick since I discovered I was expecting (which after ttc for just over a year I am thrilled about) and today was the worst day yet with actual vomitting. I thank my lucky stars I am on school hols until next week but dreading going back to work as a primary school teacher. I cant do anything but lie on my couch and wretch/ vomit/ run to the loo with the runs! How can I cope with teaching 30 seven year olds!?

Rache1S Wed 02-Jan-13 17:08:53

Hi Natara, I am 15 weeks pregnant with #1 and I haven't particularly enjoyed it so far, although I am in theory overjoyed to be expecting. I found the symptoms in weeks 8-13 were the worst but have alleviated somewhat in the last few weeks and I am now starting to feel almost human again.
I think part of the problem while feeling rough in the early weeks is that there is not much evidence that anything is actually going on inside you - you don't have a bump, can't feel the baby and haven't seen it on a scan yet so you find yourself wondering if it's all worthwhile. I guarantee as soon as you see your baby wiggling around on the scan you will think any amount of shit you have to go through is completely worthwhile.
Nobody has to enjoy pregnancy, it's the end result we all desire not the process of getting there grin

TwitchyTail Wed 02-Jan-13 16:37:50

One of my (male, childless) work colleagues, on hearing of my pregnancy, told me to "make sure [I] enjoy it". He was only being nice but I came this close to punching him.

The first half of my pregnancy was spent feeling just plain ill. No redeeming features. I stopped feeling that I was supposed to enjoy it and stopped feeling guilty about it very early on and just whined and hated it as much as I felt like grin

Dogsmom Wed 02-Jan-13 16:25:29

I too felt incredibly guilty for not enjoying pregnancy, it took me 3 years to get pregnant so you'd think I'd simply be grateful but nothing prepared me for just how shit I felt until week 15.

Most people do feel better once the placenta takes over though around weeks 13-14-ish so more than likely you'll soon be feeling a bit better and it's nice once you start feeling them move.

I'm now 31 weeks (my first too) and although I still don't enjoy pregnancy it's much better than the first tri, the fatigue is worse but there's nothing worse than the early nausea.

MBRaz Wed 02-Jan-13 16:09:10

God I feel for you - I am currently pretty uncomfortable at ten days overdue now but still think nothing is as bad as those first few months! The worst was going to the doctor and begging for help with the sickness - he suggested ginger nuts with a patronising grin... Needless to say I had already tried ginger everything. Grr!

I didn't feel joyful at all - just like there was no joy in the world! It got SO much better in the 2nd trimester though..

Fingers crossed you start to feel better v soon.

floatyjosmum Wed 02-Jan-13 15:51:45

Have to say I'm 25 weeks and I'm def not glowing (unless you count the green tinge).

Between the vomiting, not being able to eat or sleep, the spd, the fainting due to not eating ..... I'm not enjoying pregnancy either but have to say this is dc3 and the other two weren't like this

Ivvu6 Wed 02-Jan-13 14:31:04

Natara , dont wanna scare you but the glow stage might not come at all. Well im 33 weeks now and still waiting for it lol
Good luck

Emsyboo Wed 02-Jan-13 14:03:20

Congrats on your pregnancy it is fantastic - that being said pregancny is hard bloody work I was one of the lucky ones- with DS had MS but this latest pregnancy only had it for a few weeks yeah me! But before you start hating me and calling me a bitch I have had so many complications since I would do anything to feel normal and yes I know I am lucky to be pregnant to.

I am sure if people taught us about pregnancy in school - the real pregnancy teenage pregnancies would go down but they may be concerned the human race would die out.

I am sorry you are having a tough time I can handle labour (even 4 days worth) I can handle sleepness nights and teething but the thought of going through another pregnancy fills me with dread - yes it is worth it and you forget about it a bit your baby is worth it but bloody hell its hard.

Some women have a nice easy pregnancy with just ligament pain, constipation, sleepless nights, piles and back ache!

TBH when people ask I just smile and nod I only talk to my good friends or other mums about how it really is unfortunately they then don't realise I shouldn't be running round after them but they are so unsympathetic and like your MIL I don't tell them. x x

TheElfOnThePanopticon Wed 02-Jan-13 13:47:00

If it's any comfort, I have 2 kids and think that morning sickness is the worst bit of parenthood. Far harder than childbirth, cluster feeding, tantrums etc.

Oh my sympathies, it's rubbish isn't it?

I was sick throughout my entire pregnancy and did not enjoy it at all. Even worse was that I felt I got very little sympathy, like I was just moaning and being dramatic, even though I had never felt worse in my life. I kept trying to explain to people: imagine the absolute worst hangover you ever had -- now imagine feeling that way all the time for nine months. You'd be miserable too!

Finding MN was a godsend because it was the first place I saw women saying: actually, no, I don't enjoy being pregnant.

I wish I had some advice, I guess I would suggest not bothering to keep trying to get sympathy from people who don't really understand, and stick to people who will be reassuring (and MN!) And just try to take it day by day, at the time it seemed to last forever but it really will stop and just be a bad memory soon.

Eletheomel Wed 02-Jan-13 13:19:25

Nakatara, I'm 19 weeks and still exactly the same (sorry, would love to tell you that all the illness ends at 12 weeks for everyone, but sadly it doesn't).

Have had insomnia since I got my BFP so am constantly knackered (which I think makes the nausea worse) find it hard to keep down fluids, only thing I can keep down just now is diet coke (which I don't really like, I much prefer cold water, but if I drink any, it comes straight back up).

This has been the shittiest time every, I usually take extra annual leave at xmas to enjoy ourselvces and do stuff with my little boy, and i've only left the house once, I can barely play with my son (too much talking/movement makes me barf) and I've missed out on all the fun stuff I want to do.

I just want to be able to eat and drink - it's basic human needs I don't think it's too much to ask!

And yes, we ttc for 3 years before we had my son, had a mmc after and tried for 15 months to get this little bean, so it is very very wanted, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm revelling in feeling so pants.

Sorry, that was a huge huge moan, it's just that I've had this since week 5 (not a lot of vomiting at first (until wk 12) and I'm not in need of hospitalisation, so I know other women have it far far worse, I just think it should be finishing now (please god, where is my second trimester glow!!)

beckie90 Wed 02-Jan-13 12:52:22

I know exactly how u feel I'm 9wk can't look at food, feel constantly ill all the time find it so hard and a task to even get dressed cause im so lethargic, blacked out, have horrid migraines. and have a 4 year old and 21 month old to look after that don't sleep good lol. My partner has had a full 2 weeks off work due to Christmas, he goes back Monday and I'm dreading it cause I'm scared of fainting while he's at work and obviously got the kids. My family don't know yet. Some days I just think I prey to god I don't feel like this for 7 months, my poor kids must think I'm such a maungy bugger, just never felt so ill in my life, my 2 other pregnancys wernt like this xx

saycheeeeeese Wed 02-Jan-13 12:51:15

Bump and glow stage lasts a week...tops grin

Natara Wed 02-Jan-13 12:46:50

Oh my goodness littlemisschristmas thanks I feel terribly for you, you poor thing!! I think I could handle the feeling rubbish, it's the way it's dismissed as a minor irritant that bugs me. Thanks cheese, sympathy much appreciated. Looking forward to feeling a little better. Can't wait for the bump & glow stage, instead of the bloated and bucket stage I'm currently in! X

sleeplessinsuburbia Wed 02-Jan-13 12:44:00

It always sucks being sick and to be honest, what else can they say? I'm afraid you have to nod and smile!

saycheeeeeese Wed 02-Jan-13 12:39:13

Lots and lots of sympathy coming ypur way...now the ones who dont get sick are lucky!

I was sick from weeks 7-16 and it was hell, and so tired I fell asleep at my desk in work many times.

1st trimester is shit, but it gets better I promise and then you will be at my stage with a dc and considering going through it all again smile

Hugs to you!!!

LittlemissChristmas Wed 02-Jan-13 12:34:52

I know exactly how you feel.
I am 16 weeks and signed off work with hg. I've lost a stone in weight, not eaten anything that has then stayed down for over 3 weeks so I am tired, weak, no energy and want to be enjoying this pregnancy but actually beginning to hate it. After 3 mc's I am so happy to get to this point, but not sure how much longer I can cope feeling like this.
Sorry not been much help! Hang in there, its rubbish but hopefully you will feel much better by 12 weeks and you have your scan to look forward to smile

Natara Wed 02-Jan-13 12:30:06

Ok, so... I'm 9 weeks with my first (DH's 2nd) and although I seem to be improving, I was sick as a dog and really struggling with intense fatigue and insomnia (fun combo). Now, we were actively ttc for a couple of months before I fell (all hail the ovulation monitor), so I am absolutely OVER the moon to be up the duff!!... BUT that doesn't mean I'm enjoying the crappy side effects that come along with the early days. We have chosen to keep it a bit of a secret until our first scan so the only people we have told is family. Now, they love asking me how I am (which is nice) but when I answer honestly (DH's mom is the worst!) they look at me like a silly child, put on a fake smile and say things like "oh but it's a small price to pay" or "all for a good cause!". Are you flipping serious??? Next time you have food poisoning, after not having slept for 3 weeks, let me remind you how lucky you are to have a toilet and a bed! Not a perfect comparison, I know, but still. I find it so infuriating! I know I'm blessed, in general I'm ecstatic, but right at that moment, I'm sick, beyond tired, stressed out, sensitive and I want you to feel sorry for me... Not tell me how good I've actually got it. Sorry rant over.

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