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PhD & Pregnant - been there done that/doing that?

(98 Posts)

15 months to go (but reliably informed funding extended for 2 more years)
Data collection started this August through to May
Baby due mid June (unlikely to be early)
Already have 1 DC
Bat shit crazy?

Plan is to inform the (all male) supervisory team after 20wk scan so Feb time I think, to work v hard until end of May, then to take 7 months off with some mat pay, then return with 6 months of funding but switch to PT spread over a year to write up. Doable?

mrsmellow Wed 26-Dec-12 12:45:02

Hi all, Happy Christmas!
Can I join? I'm about 11 weeks on my first and am allegedly writing up at the moment - due to finish in March - but the last month has been a write off - just couldn't concentrate and kept having naps - a bit of a luxury that I wouldn't get in my normal day job (which I also have to return to in March at 20 weeks (fingers crossed!)- eek!) I keep telling myself I'll settle down and work really hard in Jan/Feb, but with a head full of cotton wool it seems unlikely- very pleased with whoever said up thread that things get better in second trimester! I have my scan booked on 9th Jan and hope to relax a bit if all is well then. My supervisor was thrilled and cried when I told her (we've been TTC for quite some time and she was aware of our difficulties!) I appreciate how lucky I am.
Nice to hear of others in a similar boat!

WildeRumpus Fri 28-Dec-12 08:09:09

Congrats and good luck mrs! My head was a nightmare until about 11 weeks then I managed to have a work brain... While still having preg head for everything else!

Just to say I have finished now smile not sent yet as deadline not till Mon but is checked and checked and doesn't need any more work! Dreading viva already mind... And have 20 week scan later!

Keep plugging away ladies! Good luck!

Askja Sat 29-Dec-12 19:05:07

Congrats on finishing Wilde. I submitted yesterday and have decided to forget about the viva for now (not working that well so far...). Hope the scan goes well for you.

WildeRumpus Sun 30-Dec-12 10:56:46

congrats askja! Amazing! thanks

scan was amazing, thankfully smile we have a very wriggly little boy! submit tomorrow, I cannot WAIT. Do you still feel quite stressed? I think it might take a few days to sink in and not feel guilty when reading a novel or watching tv...

parttimer79 Sun 30-Dec-12 11:29:57

Congrats to those who have submitted. I am only 8 weeks and already a shadow of my formerly sane and rational self. I am spending my days weeping, puking and sleeping when what I should be doing is writing up my first analysis chapter and submitting an abstract on it (for a conference 3 weeks before my EDD...)
Really hope I feel better in my 2nd trimester!

Askja Mon 31-Dec-12 12:55:40

A little boy smile congrats Wilde. I'm having another little girl - I'm 36 weeks today so not long now.

Yes I didn't feel relaxed at all after submitting - just terrified that it was full of mistakes and not good enough! I'm beginning to feel more relaxed now, although I still have a vague sense of guilt that I ought to be working...

redwellybluewelly Wed 09-Jan-13 09:40:32

June how did you chat go?

I've been asked to present a paper when I'll be 7 months (not that anyone knows that yet) as I still haven't spilt the beans - now 18+2 and 20 week scan + high risk clinic in a fortnight when I will be unable to hide the news any longer. I have a big supervisory meeting a few days later so hoping that I can figure out what to say by then.

Askja - hope all is well, you must be full term now smile

june2013 Wed 09-Jan-13 10:51:45

Hi again! Thanks for thinking of me and follow up!

Congrats to all those finishing / submitting. I want to say I'm jealous but I'm only in my 1st year so don't feel like I'm allowed to be... yet!

I just posted another thread about this following annoying comments from my colleagues. My director / supervisor responded really badly and the second meeting didn't go much better. She said I was doing it on purpose to fleece the funders which really pissed me off. They don't actually owe me any maternity leave, it wasn't written into the scholarship contract. She is convinced they would totally freak out if she asked for more money. I find that strange. Asking for more money to increase my salary or because I'm complaining or whatever would be weird, but err.. I'm going to have a baby. Anyway, clearly when pregnant one sees things quite differently to others, so not much I can do.

Saw her again yesterday and I told her I'd found the December meetings really difficult and that she gave me the clear impression that there was a massive problem. She said she had asked around about money and that there is none (at the university rather than asking the funders, who by the way are a social care agency promoting good outcomes for children, you'd think they might CARE about the outcomes of my children? I'm being hysterical I know...), so now that she's sorted that out she's fine and normal. She accepted that she may have been unpleasant and even apologised. Still I'm pretty miffed.

Anyway sorry for long post.

Redwelly I hope your scan goes well, fingers crossed. I'm also 17+2, but so far no complications... I really hope all goes well for you. Good luck with telling people, I really hope it goes well for you. I was crushed to find out that everyone kind of agrees that having a baby is really inconvenient to everyone! Woe is meeee! wink

june2013 Wed 09-Jan-13 10:52:36

I mean funders don't owe me any paid maternity leave. University guidelines set out what time off I am entitled to...

redwellybluewelly Wed 09-Jan-13 12:13:16

Sounds like you are having a really rough time of it, are there any other PhD student parents at your Uni? Have you joined the June ante-natal thread smile

I am research council funded so I hope that the information I've read on their policy does kick in and I get 6 months of maternity. My supervisory team and not going to be happy but if and its a big if I can complete my data methodology by the end of January and have a clear plan of action and what I need help with then I hope they might not be too annoyed for too long.

Ultimately though I'm a grown woman (35), I have a home, a lovely DD who I adore and a garden begging to be loved, if they sack me I'll go get a different job and I'll love my family of four. Life is what you make it and we wanted a smaller age gap than would have been possible had we waited until after my PhD (granted a few more months would have been preferable) wink

mrsmellow Wed 09-Jan-13 13:44:54

Gosh june sorry they've been so unpleasant! redwelly I doubt they'd sack you, fingers crossed.
I had my 13 week scan today and lovely to see somersaulting baby - so exciting and such a relief. Have managed to focus on work much more in the last week, but 7 weeks til due to submit and it seems very unlikely!
Ah well, just have to keep the head down and hope for the best...

redwellybluewelly Wed 09-Jan-13 13:47:31

<ponders the question of whether they can sack me>

mrsmellow Wed 09-Jan-13 13:53:00

do you secretly want to be sacked wink
I feel that if someone came and said I had to leave and find something else right now I'd cry with relief! Not sure how I'd feel later mind, but an escape route right now would be phenomenal! grin

redwellybluewelly Wed 09-Jan-13 13:53:55

no - not really smile but I do need to figure out what I'm going to say and that is keeping me awake at night

june2013 Wed 09-Jan-13 14:38:06

I told my second supervisor since I last posted and she was really great! She was delighted with the news and told me it was an excellent time to have a baby! I vaguely told her she was the first one to be happy about it and we talked about it. My situation is slightly different because I'm funded by an independent funder who doesn't like / know the whole 'working with a university and crazy academics' business. Also I'm involved in a broader project, though only tangentially. Redwelly is your project stand alone or are you part of a team? They obviously won't sack you, if they do you'd have a pretty good case for suing them - even though I know we don't do that in this country. You could kick up a stinking fuss though! But I know that doesn't stop anyone from being unpleasant!

Good luck!!!
x

june2013 Wed 09-Jan-13 14:38:54

And Redwelly check this out, you're not alone:
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1631658-Expecting-number-two

Askja Sat 19-Jan-13 09:00:00

Passed my viva yesterday smile Minor corrections. So PhD and pregnant is possible!

Can't say I'd recommend doing the viva at 38 weeks though, although my supervisor did take us out for a nice curry afterwards...

june2013 Sat 19-Jan-13 21:27:04

CONGRATULATIONS askja amazing!!! Very impressive I hope you're celebrating however you can. Huge achievement and wonderful inspiration to people like me!!

Congrats again Doctor!!

ruthietoothie Sat 19-Jan-13 21:32:45

Wow, congrats on the successful viva. And at 38 weeks pregnant - good to get it out of the way before the arrival. Did you have another baby during your phd?

I'm currently 11 weeks with dc2. Had dc1 at beginning of second year of my phd, and currently just over half way through. Feel excited about pregnancy but do feel like there's going to be a real long haul before I get this phd done!!

Askja Sun 20-Jan-13 13:08:47

Thanks. Yes I was very glad baby didn't decide to arrive early!

ruthie yes I had DD1 half way through my third year - took 6 months off and went part-time when I came back. It did make it a long haul but tbh it was nice to have something other than the PhD to occupy me sometimes.

redwellybluewelly Thu 21-Mar-13 10:01:12

Bump for lipgloss

redwellybluewelly Sat 23-Mar-13 19:25:05

Bumping again for the other threaders as there is so much useful info on here

mrsmellow Fri 31-May-13 18:01:53

Just back to say that I'm now 33 weeks and hoping to submit on Monday -if the weekend referencing and formatting goes ok..
it is possible (and I've been back at my normal job since March so finishing up in evenings and weekends) - I am looking forward to being a happy pregnant person with no other commitments from next week!
Good luck to everyone else!

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