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Missed miscarriage

(262 Posts)
C4ALR Tue 16-Oct-12 22:12:01

I have found out today I have had a missed miscarriage. I still have the foetus in my womb. I have opted to pass it naturally instead of surgery but a now bit scared as unsure what to expect?
Am I going to go to the toilet and pass a large clot?
Please help sad

C4ALR Mon 22-Oct-12 17:17:40

Oh really, so I Wonder if I will know or not then, id imagine I'm not going to know am I like you say.
I know it's a bit vile but I google imaged miscarriage clots to see if they looked like mine, some people have passed something very tiny but it look likes an actual baby with arms and legs, that must be awful I can't imagine how bad that would be.
I think everybody is so different it is a case of waiting to see what my scan shows on 30th oct x

3rdtimelucky73 Mon 22-Oct-12 19:09:54

I had to look too C4ALR in fact I scooped everything out and took it to EPU (sorry if TMI). There were white bits as well as huge red bits. Obviously more recognisable the further you're along.

Glad you have partner close to support you. My DP did what he could in August but it can be hard for men to see their beloved in so much physical and mental pain.

My stillbirth years ago, was very different, ex asked once how I was (weeks after) and texted a friend to apologise to me for saying he was glad. I have had nothing to do with him since (unsurprisingly).

C4ALR Mon 22-Oct-12 19:38:08

Oh my goodness that is so bad, I dnt blame u for not speaking to him anymore. My other half isnt the best at showing his emotions and feelings but I can tel it is killin him seein me in pain and upset, he said he feels more gutted because I am so hurt.

I feel bit better since earlier, so im hopin that was the last of it earlier or at least some of it x

janey1234 Tue 23-Oct-12 09:26:53

Oh 3rd that's horrific. When I rang my ex to tell him I was having a mc and in hospital (he was a pilot, and lived in Dubai, and was in the air en route to zurich at the time) I left a message saying 'I know you'll be relieved, but I'm having a mc'. It was a heartbreaking message to leave - I guess I just realised for the first time how he actually felt - and he didn't reply for over 24 hours. We obviously split up shortly after that; he didn't ask how I was, all he did was say I was 'a brave chicken'. What an arse. Can't imagine what it would be like to go through the tragedy you went through and have no support from a DP, am amazed you got through it to be honest. Everything crossed this is indeed your time.

And C4 - hopefully you're through the worst of the pain now, and can just concentrate on getting stronger physically and mentally. As a little aside, should you and your DP ever choose to try again at some point in the future (can't remember if I've told you this already) the doctors told me that having had one mc makes you no more likely at all to have another mc.

C4ALR Tue 23-Oct-12 11:01:16

I never realised how many insensitive ppl there wer in the world. Makes me greatful for who iv got.
I do want to try again and I had read somewhere it doesnt mean u will neccesary miscarry again.
I feel alot better again, goin to try and focus on the future smile

C4ALR Tue 23-Oct-12 23:19:18

Thought it was too good to be true, iv been in severe agony again tonight.. I cant take much morr sad

janey1234 Wed 24-Oct-12 10:28:27

Oh poor you, it is VERY painful isn't it. Has it eased at all yet? Lots more clots? Hopefully you went through the worst of it last night. If it is still really bad it might be worth calling the EPU if you can't bear it; as I think I said I got a clot stuck in my cervix, nearly made me pass out, and a consultant had to fish it out for me. Not very dignified or pleasant, but the relief was immediate. So if it's that bad it might be worth seeing if they can help at all?
So sorry you're still going through this, it's just not fair.
x

C4ALR Wed 24-Oct-12 10:46:22

Ooh that doesnt sound very nice at all.
Hav u gone on and had children after your experiance?

It finally come away last night, I bled alot then it passed, it was horrible, im glad its over but It feels real now cos its really gone and it wasnt wat I had prepared myself for. But im glad its out now sorry it tmi x

janey1234 Wed 24-Oct-12 11:06:18

Not TMI at all. As I was 12 weeks when it happened, I think it was the 'it' that was lodged and the consultant had to help pass, didn't want to say that earlier as didn't want to scare you or worry you, but I think you know when it's happened. That does mean (in my experience ever) that the worst is over though and hopefully you'll be better soon.

And no, I haven't; but that's because I split with my ex immediately after it happened. I have just started trying for a baby with my new DP - we haven't been together that long (ten months) but have known each other for years, and because I'm nearly 38 want to get a move on with things! I'm hoping it will happen for me soon - but I have only been trying for two months.

At least we both now know that we CAN get pregnant; hopefully it will work for us both next time around.

So so sorry for what you're going through and have been through in the last few days; I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. For what it's worth you sound like you're coping incredibly well, it's an awful thing to happen. xx

3rdtimelucky73 Wed 24-Oct-12 11:49:08

Hi C4ALR, sorry you've been in so much pain overnight, but physically it will ease now you passed.

I too found it incredibly painful - you're not alone.

Many women go on to have successful pregnancies, remind yourself of that and sadly how common miscarriage is. You are not alone, by any means.

Good luck Janey I really hope you get the result you want soon, I'm a year older than you and am frankly amazed at how quickly I have got pregnant, so fingers crossed.

janey1234 Wed 24-Oct-12 11:58:27

Thanks 3rd - last time I got pregnant from one night (my ex lived in Dubai), which at almost 37 I was surprised by to say the least. I'm just hoping that now it's so desperately wanted by both me and my DP it does happen.

Got everything crossed this is indeed your third time lucky...

3rdtimelucky73 Wed 24-Oct-12 12:07:25

Thanks Janey, that's cheered me up as I've just revisited my breakfast....

C4ALR Wed 24-Oct-12 13:10:10

I think u two have really helped me through this, I feel I can open up more talking to you because I don't have to hold back incase I get upset which would upset my close ones.
I physically do feel better, I feel abut down today though because it is really over now but I'm strong so I WILL get through this, thank you Janey and 3rd again I really do mean it, thank you for your support.

I hope you both get what what we want you both sound like you deserve a bit of happiness and the way you have been with me you sound like you would be great mums!
I only said to my mum this mornin I thought u were a little bit older than me because you come across as a mother would, I am 24.

Xx

janey1234 Wed 24-Oct-12 14:39:16

Ah, so you've got LOADS of time for it to happen again for you, if and when you're ready.

It's horrible horrible horrible but you WILL get better physically and mentally. And by the sounds of it the worst is over physically, so fingers crossed you're on the road to recovery.

Glad to be of some small help, I know from experience it is nice to hear from people who have been there and understand.

Keep in touch you x

(ps not deserting you - just saying!)

C4ALR Wed 24-Oct-12 15:12:39

Me and my partner hav been together for 7years we were trying for 18months befor they found out I had polycystic overies but hopefully next time wen we try again it wil jus be a case of using the same tablet treatment I used to fall last time, as they worked first time.

I do want to try again because this is the one thing I have always wanted as I was growing up, I never wanted a big career and a huge house I just wanted my own family. My partner is 36 and has 2 children, boy (16) who lives with us and a daughter (11) who comes all weekend and a Wednesday for the night so I do have my little family as I am very very close to his daughter and close with his son but as much as I love them to death Im not there mum, they do have there mum so I do need my own child to feel complete.

It would be nice to keep in touch, the three of us i mean, to find out how we all get on in the future!

Good luck both of you, I will keep fingers crossed for you x x

janey1234 Thu 25-Oct-12 09:40:51

Completely understand you wanting a baby of your own. And at 24 you have LOADS of time to do it! As you say, if they have found drugs for you that work and make you ovulate, they can do it again.
Hope the pain is still a bit better?
x

C4ALR Thu 25-Oct-12 09:46:10

Yes the pain has pretty much completely gone x

janey1234 Thu 25-Oct-12 10:10:17

That's good. Make sure you still take it easy: you will have lost a lot of blood, and physically it's very draining, don't underestimate how long it might take for you to feel back to your normal self physically. Just don't try to do too much.

When I had mine someone on here said to me "be kind to yourself" and I think it was very good advice indeed.

x

C4ALR Thu 25-Oct-12 12:17:28

I am tryin to take it easy I find it quite difficult to sit and let ppl do things for me or jus sit and rest because normally I work full time and run the house, if u no wat I mean.

Got to be honest though the last week, I havent had the energy to do nefing even if I wanted to, i dont go back to wotk til the 5th nov so stil got bit of time x

janey1234 Fri 26-Oct-12 19:02:22

How are you today then lovely?

C4ALR Fri 26-Oct-12 20:43:51

Im ok thank you, had a lazy day today, not done anything then had steak and chips cooked for me for my tea.

I still hav no pain, I am still bleeding though, thats drivin me mad.
Thanks for asking x

janey1234 Fri 26-Oct-12 21:10:41

Sound like just what you need. smile

From what I remember the bleeding was very heavy for about a week after everything passed, then tailed off and was very light for a few days. Hopefully it won't drag on for too long...

You've been in my thoughts a lot. What a horrible time you've had. Glad you're on the mend a bit.x

C4ALR Fri 26-Oct-12 21:43:35

Its crazy really, I feel like iv known you forever after talking to you for a week or so smile

Iv been bleeding now for 13 days, been feelin light headed abit last 2 days.was wonderin if it had anything to do with the amount of blood I would of lost, a normak period for me would last 4/5 days

when should you know if uv had any luck this month or has it passed

X

janey1234 Fri 26-Oct-12 22:07:30

Me too, strange - and wonderful - what the Internet can do!

Thank you for asking, I actually got a BFP this morning. Over the moon but trying not to get too excited for obvious reasons - it's very early days....

If I can do it at 38 I'm sure you can at your age. Tragically it wasn't your time this time but I'm sure next time - if and when you're ready for that - it will be smile

janey1234 Fri 26-Oct-12 22:08:36

And I'm sure the light-headedness will be due to bleeding - if it gets bad call the early pregnancy unit or your GP. I had the same but it did pass....x

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