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"Push present"

(99 Posts)

My preggy-friend asked me the other day what I was getting for my "Push Present"... I had no idea what she meant. She is having her third child and informed me that her husband had taken her to Hatton Gardens to buy an eternity ring for the "completion of their family"... how lovely, lucky her! I'm due to have my sixth (and last) child and as far as I'm aware no diamonds are coming my way!! Are Push Present normal??? Should I be upset?

halloweeneyqueeney Mon 15-Oct-12 22:22:31

I guess that because anyone who has ever met me wouldn't get me something like that at a time like that, I think that the typical "pushing presents" of jewellery, purfume, handbags etc show a total lack of understanding of where I would be at that time, so couldn't possibly come from someone who was giving me decent support!

(jewellery, purfume and handbags are ace, but not shortly before or after giving birth! )

minipie Mon 15-Oct-12 22:59:26

Horrid term. Sadly quite common in yummy mummy land where I currently live I think. I'd far rather have DH's time and attention and have dinner cooked for me etc, than diamonds or a handbag. If I want those I can buy them myself grin

AlisonDB Mon 15-Oct-12 23:00:47

I have to i agree with Chunky, some of the comments on here are getting a bit too much, off course our babies are the most magical gift and yes we all I'm sure want a healthy baby that goes without saying surely?!

apart from DH buying me perfume, which i loved!
he was also very very supportive after during and after my labour, bringing the practical things to the hospital, looking after our DS while I slept, (even though he'd also been awake through the night) cooking
our dinner, phoning/answering the phone to family and friends when i was too tired, and making sure I had all the practical things too.
But again surely as the father and our husband/partner that's his job to help look after support his new family.

Mixxy Mon 15-Oct-12 23:21:40

It is a really horrid phrase that started in the US for the uber wealthy. Now a days though almost everyone does it. (I do live in Manhattan though). It's not a massive gift, but just a little something to recognize the 9 months you've put in and the awesome job you did giving birth. I think it's kind of sweet, apart from the gross name.

madamecake Tue 16-Oct-12 09:29:21

Never heard of it either. Though I did get a big box of yummy cupcakes and a tube of Pringles. Does that count?
I have heard of getting an eternity ring when first child is born, but I already had one as an anniversary present.

Goldrill Tue 16-Oct-12 11:00:58

My DP has just bought me a decent treadmill for after the baby is born which I am extremely pleased about! I don't think he got me anything for the first one, but he does turn up with flowers from time to time, is good at buying the right cake at the right moment and is a general all round good egg.

(I may also, perhaps, have been mentioning the treadmill on a daily basis for the past few months). Not really a jewellery kind of gal.

minipie Tue 16-Oct-12 11:14:27

grin if DH got me a treadmill for post baby he'd probably have something thrown at him! But obviously if you want one that's different smile

SquealyB Tue 16-Oct-12 11:14:32

IMO presents should be willing given not extracted. If your DH/DP gives you a gift (big or small) that is lovely and I would certainly not be adverse to recieving one in January but I suppose my earlier post was meant to say that this not the most important thing.

I know that should be obvious but I have a couple of friends who are also pregnant and generally getting a bit "grabby" and competitive. "Push presents" are just the next thing that they expect along with designer buggy, designer changing bag, "baby moon" to luxury destination (vomit inducing phrase) etc. TBH the one-up manship is just dreadful at the moment.

LeafySuburbs Tue 16-Oct-12 11:17:56

'push present' is a vile expression.

I did get an eternity ring for mother's day shortly after birth of first child (no pushing was involved, however!). Was hoping for another pressie after second child but have got nothing sad. Dropped a few hints and was told to eff off!

Natanotherone Tue 16-Oct-12 11:26:48

My hubby bought me a beautiful Tiffany necklace as a present and gift... Mostly it's just a token something for going through 9 months of pregnancy etc and it has three hearts on each one smaller than the last smile I love it and it was so thoughtful of him smile x

Rockchick1984 Tue 16-Oct-12 11:56:57

I don't see why some people seem to think that receiving a gift, and having a helpful DH are mutually exclusive! I got my eternity ring for going through 9 months of pregnancy aches and pains, and for enduring labour and a battered lady garden off my DH. I didn't ask him for it, and certainly wouldn't use the term "pushing present" but I thought it was a lovely gesture off him to show how much he appreciates me for it. He's also an amazing dad, has done far more than his fair share of night feeds, housework when I was too tired with a newborn, and generally being fantastic.

PoohBearsHole Tue 16-Oct-12 12:22:54

I gave myself a push present - does that count? Well it was more a present as my dp's had given me a nice stone many years before (badly set in grim green finger making silver) and I had that made into a "proper" ring. Probably only inspired by the fact I'd had a girl so in reality it was always going to be hers smile

Dh bought me a starbucks and the carseat base. Only because i had demanded the starbucks and he couldn't fit the carseat in the car.

Oh and it was a cold starbucks by the time he'd faffed about like that.

PeshwariNaan Tue 16-Oct-12 13:05:10

I find the whole concept of a "push present" obnoxious and annoying. I've asked DH to prepare a very runny cheese board and have a selection of Belgian beers on hand. That'll do - after all the real present is the baby, and the help that DH will be giving as a father after the birth!

along with the fact that we're on a tight budget so splashing out on a giant gemstone ring as I've seen some friends do would be outrageous

harrietspy Tue 16-Oct-12 13:11:39

I'm with you, Peshwari. I had a Hoegaarten. There's a brilliant post on the Renegade Mothering blog about push presents: www.renegademothering.com/2012/07/11/as-promised-push-present-post/

Splinters Tue 16-Oct-12 13:22:53

I don't like the idea very much -- makes having a baby sound like a bit of a transaction between me and DH. I don't want to be thanked for having 'his' baby, because it isn't, it's both of ours.

PeshwariNaan Tue 16-Oct-12 13:23:01

harriet: LOVE Renegade Mothering! thanks for posting! grin

MrsHBaby3 Tue 16-Oct-12 14:09:15

I never knew that eternity rings were given for givng birth, I always wondered.. and now I know I'll be asking hubby!

minipie Tue 16-Oct-12 14:13:42

See, all our money is joint, so if DH were to buy me an expensive piece of jewellery, that would be money we couldn't spend on something else. I'd rather save towards a lovely holiday with babysitter services or a new sofa.

Of course if funds were limitless then a piece of jewellery would be nice. But if funds were limitless then I could go and buy myself one tomorrow and not have to use having a baby as an excuse.

WockComble Mon 22-Oct-12 13:40:52

I got a baby.

I also got a diamond ring shaped like a flower.

Still trying to decide which I like best.

Today? Probably the baby (now toddler), but then he is at nursery.

weeblueberry Mon 22-Oct-12 13:52:52

Oh thank you for introducing me to Renegade Mothering harriet

"OH HOLY MOTHER OF GOD do you really think some GIFT is going to make up for the fact that I now pee on myself when I sneeze, my tits kick it near my belly, and my stomach bulges like an overflowing cupcake?"

CLASSIC. grin

Mylittlepuds Mon 22-Oct-12 15:43:41

My friend received a diamond sparkler. Her DH presented reminded her to show us it when we went to see baby for the first time. Yuck.

BobbiFleckmann Mon 22-Oct-12 15:46:47

mine were Production Bonuses, not "push presents"

Hate, hate, hate the term. HATE IT!

Deeply love the necklace I got the Christmas after DS was born (so 6 months later) with DS's birthstone on it. But that was a Christmas present, not a 'push present' - argh, it just seems so transactional and yucky!

And yes, I'd love another stone on there after DS2 is born in December - but not a 'push present' - my equivalent has always been DH being a bloody hero doing all the housework, dogwalking, and adoration-of-the-baby every single second he was awake. God, I love that man! Seeing him and DS wrestle and read stories and hunt beetles together every day is the greatest gift.

Seriously, I love the ruby necklace, though.

I get DH techie gadgets for anniversary presents. He gets me jewelry. We both get what we like (and we both give a lot of guidance, truth be told!) and wouldn't splurge on for ourselves - and it's lovely.

Whatever works for you, I suppose - specially cakes. Lots of cakes!
smile

How crass. hmm

rrreow Mon 22-Oct-12 16:17:34

My DH told me a story about his grandmother, who on the successful pushing out of each baby would receive a brand new dress from her husband. Very generous, no?

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