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"Push present"

(99 Posts)

My preggy-friend asked me the other day what I was getting for my "Push Present"... I had no idea what she meant. She is having her third child and informed me that her husband had taken her to Hatton Gardens to buy an eternity ring for the "completion of their family"... how lovely, lucky her! I'm due to have my sixth (and last) child and as far as I'm aware no diamonds are coming my way!! Are Push Present normal??? Should I be upset?

Chocaholics Mon 15-Oct-12 17:30:27

My present was a baby! Although I was asked by a male friend what push present I was getting as his wife was due a month before me and she wanted a diamond bracelet. Seems to be getting more common though

Minty82 Mon 15-Oct-12 17:34:46

My dad gave my mum a ring when I was born - definitely not called a push present by anyone though!

I got a box of chocolates and some bath stuff, which were both lovely...and the world's most fabulous daughter, which was even nicer.

CupsofTeaAndHandfulsOfCake Mon 15-Oct-12 17:36:26

I got a present.

My husband being so happy with this babies was a present.

But more importantly my husband was there the very second visiting hours for dads started with a different cake everyday when I was in hospital.

Startailoforangeandgold Mon 15-Oct-12 18:00:42

My push present was a Mountain buggy, I pushed that many happy miles.grin

Mollydoggerson Mon 15-Oct-12 18:05:17

It's a horrible, grabby idea isn't it?

My DH brought me a big bag of wine gums and a giant bar of Dairy Milk when he came to the hospital the day after DD was born - along with gorgeous DD, those were the best presents ever! I'm now pg with DC2 and hoping for the same.

JustSpidero Mon 15-Oct-12 18:26:41

But more importantly my husband was there the very second visiting hours for dads started with a different cake everyday when I was in hospital.

Clearly my husband should've upped his game with his solitary doughnut! grin

AbbyRue Mon 15-Oct-12 19:05:21

Never heard of the term push present but DH has got me rings after the birth of our 2 DCs. Nothing expensive though, more of a token or gift kind of thing. I doubt it's "compulsory" smile

halloweeneyqueeney Mon 15-Oct-12 19:08:43

everyone I know who got a "pushing present" decided what they were going to get in advancy and would have given their OHs hell if they hadn't got it right.. which IMO sort of sucks the joy out of a present anyway as they weren't so much given as demanded.. so what's the point? (I know the point! its all braggy and one-up-manship type women who get em!)

DH was busy bringing me in things I NEEDED, like making trips to tescos for me with lists that went along the lines of " most massive nan pants you can find, maternity pads, chocolate, breast pads.." - that stuff is more important to me than a Cath Kidson change bag or tacky but expensive pandora bracelet!

AlisonDB Mon 15-Oct-12 19:09:06

My dad bought my mum a bottle of her favorite perfume after she had me (37) and an eternity ring after she had my brother (32)
they only wanted 2 kids.
So it's not that new a concept, it just wasn't given a stupid name ;-)
It was more an appreciation of what my mum had been through both in her pregnancies and also during and after labour.

My hubby bought me perfume after DS1 and now with DS2 I'm also thinking I'll get perfume.

Plunkett Mon 15-Oct-12 19:10:46

One of the women at work asked if I'd chosen a 'push present' yet and was quite amused when I looked at her blankly.
I mentioned it to my Dh and again after seeing this thread but just got a withering look!
As others have said having Dh there all day and waiting by the door as soon as allowed the next day meant more than anything with dc1, and I'm sure will be the same this time.

halloweeneyqueeney Mon 15-Oct-12 19:10:48

TBH, thinking about it, I'd actually be ANNOYED with DH if he spend a stupid amt on pushing jewellery at a time when we are budgeting for a new baby.. I'ld be like "I could have got a better buggy if I'd known we had a spare £150 angry"

fraktion Mon 15-Oct-12 19:14:13

DH upheld his family tradition of getting me a diamond ring for presenting him with his son and heir. They don't do diamond engagement rings. Normally I'm the first to say his family are bizarre but I actually rather like my eternity ring. Not sure whether I'd have been given anything if DS had been a girl hmm

A bit of jewellery to mark the occasion and possibly pass on to the child is a nice idea, I love jewellery, however I despise the term push present. Vile.

RubyrooUK Mon 15-Oct-12 19:36:57

I got a massive cup of coffee and after once forgetting mother's day, DH has now started buying me presents on DS' birthday too for "what you went through for us to get him".

I get DH nothing to celebrate the part he played in DS' conception because as I remember it, he got quite a serious amount of enjoyment out of it at the time.

grin

BikeRunSki Mon 15-Oct-12 19:49:46

... damn it, that's another couple of presents I have missed out on. Didn't know about engagement presents either!

BikeRunSki Mon 15-Oct-12 19:50:59

Must be because I had two crash emcs.

wheresmespecs Mon 15-Oct-12 20:01:24

I had a planned CS so would not have qualified for a 'push present'.

I don't feel too hard done by as I got a baby and have a partner who is willing to do his share of parenting and childcare.

Gawsh... after reading all these posts I don't know if it's more vile to expect a present or to expect absolutely nothing. Truth be told, if my husband shows up with a cold cup of tea and a tube of hemorrhoid cream I'll be disappointed.

JustSpidero Mon 15-Oct-12 21:01:40

In all honesty, Diamonds, I very much doubt you'll care when it comes to it.

I struggled to remember whether my DH had or not. Apart from the doughnut, I got a beautiful card & DD had a lovely play gym thingy. Most importantly he was there all day, every day, held the bowl when I was sick in labour (in spite of being almost phobic about people throwing up), sat with me through my EMCS even though he's so squeamish he can't watch surgery on TV, and invited my parents in to see DD first, even though he has a somewhat temperamental relationship with them.

It's those things I remember and that mean something to me, and it would still be those things, even if he'd bought me the entire contents of Liz Taylor's jewellery box.

Chunkychicken Mon 15-Oct-12 21:22:34

My DH gave me sapphire earrings following the birth of our DD, to match the sapphire necklace (my birthstone) he had bought me for my 30th a few months before. He bought them out of his own money, of his own accord, without any demands from me. I thought it incredibly touching & cried buckets. My most precious gifts from my DH, apart from my DD & DC#2 who's still cooking, are my wedding & engagement rings & that jewellery.

I don't like the phrase 'push present' & don't like the thought of making demands for it, but I find some of the comments about it on here a bit much. So what if some DHs choose to buy gifts for their DWs on the occassion of the birth of their child?

For the record, my DH was back at the hospital 4hrs after he left (having had very little sleep) & was an incredible support during my labour & birth, & the first few weeks after. This was as much appreciated than the jewellery. One does not negate or preclude the other...

panicnotanymore Mon 15-Oct-12 21:23:57

Oh yuck - what a horrible idea. I don't want diamonds or eternity rings or anything even remotely similar. I want a healthy full term baby and an H who is a devoted dad.

Is there anything left that doesn't have an expensive present requirement attached?

halloweeneyqueeney Mon 15-Oct-12 21:58:13

I'ld also have sobbed if I'ld been given an eternity ring after giving birth to DS1, my fingers were so swollen for a while afterwards and it would have been a bit depressing smile

most of the stuff you hear about being given as pushing presents are just SO impractical for a new mum really

debbie1412 Mon 15-Oct-12 22:00:15

Each to their own, no diamond ring or anything else for that matter will make those 2 hour feeds any easier.

wheresmespecs Mon 15-Oct-12 22:02:36

Well I agree Chunky - it's not like a partner can't get the mother of his children AND be hugely supportive and valuable as a partner and father. Fair enough.

I suppose I do find men buying women jewellery, esp expensive jewellery from a wish list, odd and old fashioned somehow. I have a huge soft spot for jewellery, but would rather buy it myself.

Not that makes another woman wrong for liking a certain kind of jewellery or enjoying a gift from their husband.

I do dislike the name 'push present' though. 'Gusset gift' anyone? 'Perineum present'?

rogersmellyonthetelly Mon 15-Oct-12 22:17:01

Push present is a hideous term, but the idea of a gift to a woman who has, usually in considerable discomfort, carried your child for 9 months and then laboured (or undergone a section which is just as worthy!) is a nice way to show your appreciation I think. Diamonds a probably slightly excessive, but a bunch of flowers and the promise of a cup of tea in bed every morning for the next 100 years or so wouldn't go amiss I feel. <mental note to show this thread to dh tomorrow>

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