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Fantastic 40+ Mum to be - part 2

(1000 Posts)
Hpbp Mon 08-Oct-12 07:42:26

Let's keep on chatting !
Awaiting to hear from you all.
Midget, how are you feeling after the sweep ?
Exexe, are you happy with the new kitchen ? Very glad to see you back on here.
Warm welcome to the only Dad we have on the thread, sorry I could not remember your name as I write this.
Have a lovely Monday. Pouring rain in Paris today.

BadMissM Sat 08-Dec-12 22:22:49

eagleray think I'm just going to ring them and ask, also whether he is still conducting some as part of the clinical trial and whether would be eligible for that, and ask wjether he is doing it further north... If not, am just going to have to find the money somehow... I just can't face the thought of amnio again..

Scarecrow22 As for the detailed scan at 13 weeks, haven't even seen a midwife yet, and don't trust mat services around here to do much or do it on time.... I just don't want to be in the situation where they find something on the detailed scan and it's too late for the Harmony Test... I had a stillborn baby after a horribly painful amnio, given unneccessarily and botched, I just can't face that again....

BadMissM Sat 08-Dec-12 22:23:23

scarecrow22 Think the 'hairy' test sounds better!

scarecrow22 Sun 09-Dec-12 08:05:46

BadMiss to be clear I had the more detailed scan at the FMC, not local hospital. I was not aware it's available on the NHS? The ref I saw to somebody else having it was again to air ate clinic, but not in London, in NW from memory? It was on this thread, which I joined middish Sept.
They do that very detailed scan and all blood tests, and give you and explain the results, all in 90 minutes. They explain far more about results, treating you like an intelligent adult, and because you are there you can ask any and as many questions as you need. My risk went from 1/47 for age and 1/210 for NHS triple test to 1/956 for downs and nearly 1/2000 for other chromosomal disorders. finally, the latest you can have this test is 13+3 or 13+4.
Good luck and let us know how you get on, and of course if you have any other questions we can answer (from memory others on this thread have used FMC).
Thinking of you

AFM off to work, sigh, but on Friday we fly to California for 10 days. Slightly dreading trip and jet lag, but will be wonderful to have sun and lots of family time and excited about taking DD to San Diego zoo and aquarium (though not sure she needs much more excitement than the rabbits at our local pet shop!)
Five days of work....

Happy Sundays

scarecrow22 Sun 09-Dec-12 08:06:50

Sorry, fat fingers. Again... Reference to somebody else having more detailed scan also at a private clinic...

somewherebecomingrain Sun 09-Dec-12 17:49:08

hello all

jbrd hope your bleeding has stopped - its such a great worry I know.

re tired I went out with DP for anniversary last night. We had a meal then went to see Skyfall and today I am destroyed. I am a wreck. I feel a bit stoned. Now listening to music and it's never sounded better.

Also my mum is having some serious health problems which is getting me down.


NewChoos Sun 09-Dec-12 18:16:01

Hi again,
Sorry I posted once and not since, have had nausea and tiredness. Will try and keep up with the thread now!
I tried to make a booking in appointment with the midwife but was informed you have to see the gp first. I can't get an appointment until next week when I will be almost 10 weeks, so now a bit nervous about getting scanned promptly. DS has a health concern which is congenital ad so we possibly will go for a cvs. I might phone the hospital directly and try and book a scan, I will be 11 weeks 1st week in Jan and bet they will be pretty booked up.

Has anyone else had a booking in appointment with the gp and if so, what did they do?

Sorry not caught up with thread (lots of posts!) I will keep track from now on somewhere sorry to hear about your mum, it must be very stressful.

scarecrow22 Sun 09-Dec-12 19:36:17

NewChoos great sympathy with nausea. Rest usually helps (ha ha), or nibbling dry snacks. And don't get dehydrated!
On other matter, in my area you need GP referral to get booking appt and scan, but can be done together. They will have to fit you in! Last time I had scan in a few hours at 30-something weeks because of poss problem at a routine MW appt (was a false alarm). So it's possible!

Somewhere so so sorry to hear about your mum's problems. We are here for you if you want to share, or distract yourself. You are such a rock to the rest of us - never mind the inspirational swimming ;) Take care.

somewherebecomingrain Mon 10-Dec-12 08:57:10

thanks scarecrow that's very kind. A bit knocked for six at the moment.

BTW so pleased your scan went well - fabulous news.

I found the 20 week scan such a buzz - but the thought of another 20 weeks before i see my baby rather frustrating, like being a kid waiting for Christmas i suppose.


somewherebecomingrain Mon 10-Dec-12 09:31:23

ps i saw Skyfall finally and although it was good and i'm not complaining it didn't blow my mind - it was too similar to The Dark Night Rises - and i was making that point before Charlie Brooker pointed it out on The Guardian today!

Also I want sexy Bond/Craig with a twinkle in his eye, not existential Bond/Craig contemplating his own ageing. There was not enough sexy, too much deep.

For that reason Casino Royale remains my fave Bond ever. It was a tragic love story in a way that isn't very fashionable these days. Bond/Craig was presented as an object for women viewers to enjoy in a way that we don't get THAT often or to that high a standard in film. It's nice to treat yourself to that sometimes, Casino Royale was luxurious experience ... even the women in their fabulous outfits were filmed in a more interesting way giving you more time to enjoy.

I think I'm just in the wrong place to appreciate Skyfall. Had I not seen The Dark Night Rises about a week before I'd be saying it was a very interesting direction for the franchise. DP tells me Sam Mendes (the Skyfall director) admitted he'd studied the work of Christopher Nolan (Dark Night director).

Anyway the great cinema-going public disagrees with me - Skyfall has beaten Avatar apparently at the box office.

A bit off topic sorry.

hope everyone is ok - jbrd in particular.

noochoos nausea is AWFUL if it's any consolation when it stopped if felt like i'd won the lottery and had the fabled second trimester bounce.

badmissm what is the harmony test? hope evertyhign ok with you.


scarecrow22 Mon 10-Dec-12 10:18:41

somewhere just finished a blissful half hour with Guardian and coffee on train and then read you on film - an excellent off topic. Not for the first time am struck by your brilliant writing - if you are not already, you should be a reviewer or similar.
I was definitely in the right space for Skyfall, though possibly helped that I saw on open night so pre public hype, and following QoS with modest expectations. I also found Craig/Bond pretty sexy, though I think I have an unfortunate attraction to dark poetic souls (or the less poetic suppressed violence of Clive Owen). Happily I chose a dark haired but otherwise happy-go-lucky, innately positive and gentle man to be father of my DCs smile
My main criticism of Skyfall was it was a bit long, and for me much of what made it such a gintrigued though as I was

scarecrow22 Mon 10-Dec-12 10:33:43

Much of what made it such a good film were story lines which cannot be repeated, at least not anew, particularly his childhood and parents' story. Perhaps I'm being unfair, but it seemed a little like a cheat!
Intrigued now to see Casino Royale though: I was much less impressed than most when it came out but it obviously deserves a re-view. A good Christmas veg out, me thinks. Also need to watch 2nd batman movie so can see Dark Knight Rises. Watched 1st one night before I went to hospital to have DD and loved it. Need to catch up. Again, one for when PiLs are staying after Xmas.

Somewhere hope you get good news about your mum, or at least feel you can come to us for support.
* JBrd* so hope bleeding stopped, and you get some reassurance soon.
Riverside a special word to say I am thinking of you lots today: hope the funeral is a lovely send off for your mum, and you can find solace and some joy in sharing your memories and love of her with family and friends.

BadMissM Mon 10-Dec-12 11:03:38

NewChoos I'm going to be about 10 weeks before I see anybody as well... despite age/risk etc around here they are so not bothered....

somewherebecomingrain The Harmony Test is a non-invasive test that can give a 99.9 accurate result on Downs and other trisomies.

scarecrow 228 *eagleray I buckled, and I've actually booked the 2 appointments for the Harmony Test and the Nuchal Scan at the FMC. The train fares are costing more than the test (which is £180 for the scan and Harmony Test is free). Problem is, my dates mean I have to go to London and back on New Year's Eve, and mid-Jan.

But I just got to the point where it was getting so close I couldn't mess about looking for somewhere in the NW, in case I didn't find one...the later I booked to London the more expensive it would get...

He did do some at Kings College apparently as part of the clinical trial, but that's finished now...

Wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't lost my job last year, also in the middle of an Employment Tribunal...

JBrd Hope everything's going better xxx smile

somewherebecomingrain Mon 10-Dec-12 11:20:39

thank-you Scarecrow and in fact it's not off topic in so far as there has been a general consensus on here that Daniel Craig and therefore Skyfall are of great interest to us pregnant ladies - quite a lot of discussion of his shiny nose at the premiere.

badmissm i think you're doing the right thing - i was a bit unsatisfied with my NHS nuchal/bloods (they were lower than i expected given the nuchal measurement) and so i went to the FMC just to have the same test again and it was so worth it - it did yield slightly better results on downs, they did explain my bloods had given me the lower range of results, and it and very reassuring results on other things and i felt that i'd been given the chance to talk it through (though my sonographer had the thickest spanish accent ever i didn't understand everything he said). It was totally worth it so you won't regret it. maybe you can fit in a treat of some kind before you come back?


BadMissM Mon 10-Dec-12 11:52:44

somewherebecomingrain only if the treat is in the vicitinity of Euston Station I think...trying to get the cheap tickets, I'm not actually in London for long -6hours or so- (which is annoying, is my home town). Also depends how long tests take too...have put wide margins in to get to/from Harley St. But much of my time is evening spent waiting for the cheap trains... might just ring London friends and see if they fancy meeting up for a coffee!

But with my age and DHs and the fact DH has sister with special needs.... I think it's wise, if ruinous around Christmas...

Would have gone to see my parents, but since DH and I got together, they haven't been speaking to me....sad really....

eagleray Mon 10-Dec-12 12:06:38

Quick word re train fares (which may or may not be helpful) - price can often be significantly and legitimately reduced by splitting journey across 2 tickets. Eg if you are going from A to C via station B, a ticket from A to B, then another ticket from B to C may be cheaper combined than single journey! Illogical, but usually saves 30-40% of cost. This usually works where part of journey is in peak travel time. I used to save several hundred quid a month when using this method to commute by train. Apologies if this is of no help!

Posting from phone so a bit limited but hello all and is Daniel the new Jamie?

BadMissM Mon 10-Dec-12 12:14:38

eagleray Almost did...from here-Manchester then Manchester -London then at last minute found direct one as cheap....... I know, when I lived in Yorkshire that was cheaper than paying all together too!

knottyhair Mon 10-Dec-12 14:49:55

Hi to all - will try to catch up properly later but just wanted to say thinking of you Riverside xxx

somewherebecomingrain Mon 10-Dec-12 17:31:52

Hi there riverside hope you are ok. I am in a position to have an inkling of what you are going through. I am thinking of you.

Has anyone else just got to the 'can't bend down and tie my shoelaces' part of pregnancy and finding it annoying?

scarecrow btw if you are a Daniel Craig fan then we have something else in common besides our due date wink. eagleray that's a good question. In what sense? In the sense that he can be part of all our lives? That he's there for us?

I am talking nonsense but I'm a bit bashed out of shape at the mo.


lotsofcheese Mon 10-Dec-12 18:21:46

badmiss that's so good you've got a date sorted for the harmony test -it's great you can have such accurate results without invasive testing.

spider sorry, didn't reply to your questions up thread. Yes, DS was born at 29 weeks due to PE. My placenta was described as "scraggy". So this time I'm on aspirin & having extra growth/blood flow tests - fingers crossed that we have long & boring pregnancies.

JBrd how are things with you? Were you due further blood tests/scans today? (Or have I got muddled up. Again.)

A big hello to everyone else - too many to name-check but following all your stories.

I just seem to be very tired at the moment. Expecting 2nd part of amnio results this week, then will have to go public, as I have 2 work nights out on Fri & Sat - plus the bump is noticeable & becoming increasingly difficult to disguise!

Am counting down the working days (and early rises) till Xmas - 5 to go!!

BadMissM Mon 10-Dec-12 19:34:17

lotsofcheese Yep, all booked inc trains now. Might have to eat many beans on toast over the next few weeks but guess it's worth it for the peace of mind.

Extremities all crossed for the results of your amnio xxx

somewherebecomingrain eagleray Have sadly never forgiven Mr Craig for the way he murdered the word 'Mytholmroyd' in 'Sylvia'. Fear this colours my perception of him as Bond.... smile

blueblackdye Mon 10-Dec-12 19:58:28

Riverside, there is nothing I can say to ease your pain. Praying for you and family, thinking of your Dad especially.
Knotty, counting the days for you, one week and you will meet your LO, so exciting !
Ladies, the 40+ Graduates are trying to organise a meet up in Central London on Friday 21, you are welcome to join. I will let you know time and venue asap. Hope you will be able to make it.

scarecrow22 Mon 10-Dec-12 20:42:08

blueblack a meet-up sounds fab. Sadly it clashes withe being in San Diego (I'm sure I have not mentioned this enough!) but definitely count me in on next one. Also raise a cup of decaf tea to DD who is two on Dec 21. She's getting a Wondercolour pad and pens (the one where the pens only work on special pads - to avoid repeat of her decorating our cream sofa at our friends' house) and a slightly annoying but also cute dog that yaps and jumps (£4 from a charity shop). Guess next year she will have more demanding expectations!

Had a horrible morning today. DD "his" phone so she was in buggy about to leave for CM / work when I realised I didn't have it, nipped upstairs to find, and then spent a frantic 15 mins getting stressed that I couldn't find it and every time I tried to hear it ring she whined to get out of buggy, til I ended up screeching "shut up" at her several times, actually managing to screech like a banshee and feel guilty at the same time. Eventually I went downstairs and as I looked down staircase she was covered in blood - her fave, hands, buggy cover, the floor. It turned out she'd got hold of an umbrella and true to open it. It was not a bad cut but it must have bled quite a bit and she smeared it about. I cleared her up and found phone (under a rug biscuit), cancelled my meeting, found CM and all was okay. But I sobbed like nothing on train platform and have felt drained and sad all day.
I hope you don't all think too badly of me - I am usually so gentle with her and could not be more understanding. I have only snapped at her three times in two years and twice was in the last 4 days. I just feel stretched to snapping point by work, preps for trip (secretly would rather not go) and having an early waking two year old every "spare" moment. I love it, I just feel over stretched. An I guess even more tired and hormonal than usual. Anyway, sorry for that off-load. Many of you have more real issues and genuine sadnesses - which my heart goes out to you for - I just guess I needed to stop being strong and professional and capable for a few minutes, and you seem like a v un-judgemental lot. Thanks.

More Daniel Craig now, please ;)

lotsofcheese Mon 10-Dec-12 20:57:17

Ah scarecrow that sounds like a stressful morning - no judging here! I resolutely hate mornings; they usually culminate in me & DP snapping at eachother, we always seem to be running late & things always go wrong (DS pooing pants etc) as I'm trying to get out door for CM drop-off. I have been known to swear under my breath at DS shock

Don't beat yourself up - you're only human (and hormonal!!)

somewherebecomingrain Mon 10-Dec-12 22:05:45

Scarecrow sad truth is we all
Do it sometimes - I have been known to roar and scream and even yank a bit. But I know it is wrong and it's only at moments of extreme stress. Recently when I was nauseous I was so foul to ds he started crying and said mummy your not being very nice to me and I felt so awful I started crying too. I do actually try to apologise. Now I'm not
Sick anymore I'm tonnes better and using other directed discipline. I think your allowed to learn with your child and they know what's the real you and what's you stressed out.

I had long talk with parents tonight they will find out more from doctor tomorrow it's such a relief to talk about it I feel better. I feel I can't talk about it on mumsnet cause I mentioned to my dad that I was on here and had mentioned my mums health and he was really freaked out. How dis i know you arent all impostors? At the same time he thought you would be able to identify me - he didn't get that it's anonymous. But once it's out in the open i will say more.

I'd love to meet up but I'd blow my cover! I dunno - it is such a lovely vibe on here.


somewherebecomingrain Mon 10-Dec-12 22:07:51

Oh yes and her cutting herself - just one of those things but v stressful I can imagine hope u are chilling out now

On my phone hence sloppy spelling g

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