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Pregnant after a miscarriage, as the bumps get bigger we get braver, 1st,2nd or 3rd trimester, reasurance and hand holding aplenty!

(987 Posts)

Before the first thread fills and locks a 2nd thread for us getting braver!

shirley123 Wed 29-Aug-12 15:54:21

Ps when is the earliest I could ask for a scan? Will NHS do it?

bonzo77 Wed 29-Aug-12 16:19:22

shirley congrats on your little surprise. Different hospitals offer different services. How far along are you? I would say that there's not much point getting a scan before 7 weeks. My EPU suggested 7 weeks because by about 6 weeks you can usually see a heart beat, but not always, and if your dates are out by a few days you can end up very upset and confused if you don't see one. The EPU I used will see you with a GP referral for a "reassurance" (early) scan, or as a walk in if you are having pain or bleeding. I would call yours and see what they say.

As to how to stay detached....it's very hard. I found with DS (my first pg) it all seemed very unreal until I felt movements anyway. Then my mc pregnancy I never really got attached, I think I subconsciously knew something was wrong. This time I have always just considered it a pregnancy, not a baby. All my concerns early on were regarding what I would have to go through with another mc. Now I know the sex, and we have discussed names, I feel a bit more like it's a baby, but it is still very much an "it" not a "him".

hz I have not been diagnosed with a clotting issue. But DS also stopped growing about 38 weeks, and was finally born just before 39 by EMCS. The placental was never tested. Then I had the mc, though as there was only one no testing was done. But when I saw the obstetrician about this pregnancy he put me on aspirin, saying DS being small and my mc could be linked. I luffs this obstetrician, he is very very nice and really listened. I really hope that I'll be seeing him again!

bonzo77 Wed 29-Aug-12 16:20:24

Oh and lurcher is there no way you can get another NHS scan? I had some cramping and weird discharge on 2 occasions and got extra scans at about 8 and 14 weeks.

hzgreen Wed 29-Aug-12 17:32:03

i was so lucky in my first trimester because i was given scans at 6, 8, 10 and 12 weeks. i was at Birmingham at the miscarriage clinic and apparently it's routine there. i was under Proff Quinby and she is amazing. if anyone else in in the area i'd recommend going to her (hopefully none of us will need to!!) if you have to in future.

it hasn't been as smooth sailing since i came back to Derby (my local hospital) and i really feel for you lurcher and shirley. although i have to say even with all of those scans i was only reassured while they were actually happening, the next day i was feeling just as anxious as before. those early months are just really hard.

Welcome aboard lurcher smile

shirley no matter how hard we try we can't fully detach ourselfs, god I wished I could, I'm 23wks now and still anxious to get too attached, good luck though, as you can see many of us go on to a sucessful pregnancy. I wouldn't request a scan before 7wks personally, I can't see why they'd refuse it.

Today I was brave I brought some vests and sleepsuits shock

Hopeforever Wed 29-Aug-12 19:05:45

Shirley, how encouraging to read your post. I too am just starting recovery after my second time of ME. Thankfully I find being pregnant helps!

If you are going to be embarrassed, I'll join you, I will be 45 when this one pops out, have had some rather public MMC (whole village seems to know) and people may well judge as I can no longer work due to the ME. How many weeks are you?

shirley123 Thu 30-Aug-12 05:37:09

I am about 5-6 weeks I think, and was just restarting my therapy and personal training business so the last 6 months were dieting, training and resting..... Had to take it soo slowly and carefully, thankfully I feel good for now, just early pgcy tiredness, fingers crossed I can keep on going, hubbie is great tho, so supportive, would have been even hard if not, although I know. He's nervous about having a third. hopeforever Is your ME quite severe? How long did you have it?

sundaesundae Thu 30-Aug-12 09:07:47

Hi just to return after my panic, there is a riggly waving dust bunny in there! Dates have been put back about 10 days, my cycles are a little irregular so that is fine. Got to go back for another look in two weeks as was too small for NT, bit gutted that I am not the magic 12 weeks yet so still nervous about MC and not sure whether to tell the world now!

Hopeforever Thu 30-Aug-12 09:14:23

Sundae, how wonderful to see your baby on the scan.
Not sure what the answer to when to tell is. It's so personal. Have you told anyone yet?
Shirley, you are the same number of weeks as me, I shoud be 6 weeks tomorrow. I had ME in my twenties before I had DS1 and DD2. I had it for over 6 years then. This time it's been 4 years. I had to give up work, officially I'm retired!

Great news sundae I was put back 2wks at my first scan, but couldn't hold on and told people. I weighed up the pro/cons risks etc, once a heartbeats been seen risk of mc drops considerably, I understand everyones had a different journey to get here but for me that was reasurance enough to spill the beans.

I ordered a new mattress for our pram last night! shock

sundaesundae Thu 30-Aug-12 13:01:12

We have decided that close friends and family can know, work colleagues not so much and it isn't going on facebook!

Glad I am not the only person to be put back, 20th of March is MIL's birthday so she is hoping for that!

I posted my scan pic on fb around 12wks I think, mainly because we don't live near any friends or family and I wnated to show people, then after posting I felt awful incase someone I knew was having/just had a mc/mmc, as scan pics killed me when I was raw about it all.

I think, thanks to this baby being such a wriggler, I'm feeling better, I'm actually being pregnant and believing I might have a baby! I brought a little snow suit today, I still hesitate a bit but on saturday this baby is viable should I go into prem labour, how scary is that!!

Hopeforever Thu 30-Aug-12 18:46:47

State, you have been busy buying, I hope you checked it all out on the MN recommend page grin

I've never looked at the MN recomends pages, I just lurk around the forums haha! I did ask in pushchairs where to buy my mattress though if that counts wink

Matalan have some gorgeous unisex bits if anyone else is looking, I've had a nightmare finding anything so far!

welliesandpyjamas Thu 30-Aug-12 22:51:19

Even more newbies! How lovely! Welcome smile

State well done on more nesting, good for you!

And talking of nesting, I've got all my bits ready at home, all the clothes and bedding washed and smelling sweet, and am going to put my hospital bag together tomorrow if I get a chance shock Who'd have thought in the early days of our thread that this time would ever come, that I'd ever be brave enough to do such a thing!

Had good news and a scan today. Good news is that I haven't caught and am immune to the virus I was exposed to earlier in the month. Big relief! Also, the scan showed that baby is measuring the correct 35 weeks, not two and a half weeks bigger as they thought last week. She IS a chunky girl but still within the range grin I have a nice scan pic of her face. I think I'm in love (again) smile

I see the consultant in about ten days and will get my c-sec date then. Not long now! Woo hoo!

Great news wellies really pleased all is well. It does all seem unreal doesn't it, seems like 5 minutes ago we were anxiously waiting first scans and expecting the worst. And now were getting ready for our babies!

My scan last week was all face and a hand spread out across it covering mouth and nose, looks so weird but I love it. I have one pic from each scan lined up on my mantle piece smile

Ummm I'd totally forgotten about my hospital bag <div> might need to write a list haha!

WLmum Fri 31-Aug-12 09:56:05

That's fab wellies. I agree, it is crazy that we all joined scared and early days, and now all have big bellies and I'm counting down to my mat leave (not for about 10 weeks but I know that will come round fast).

I have a new pg worry - indifference towards DH! I don't know what's going on. I think about him nicely during the day etc, but when he gets home I'm just not that pleased to see him, I feel no inclination towards physical affection and feel like I'm having to make an effort to be nice. Don't know if it's just because I'm knackered all the time, spend all time ( when not at work) with dds climbing on me, or because we don't spend much time together - he does shifts so often we are a tag team with childcare, and we're trying to achieve loads before this baby comes - major overhaul of garden to make it child friendly, and desperately trying to get some building work done so we can all fit in! It worries me that if I feel like this now, how will I feel after dc3 arrives and I'm more knackered and have another person touching me all the time! Hmmm, anyone relate?

WL I got that majorly when pg with dc2! I was polite but just felt being with him was a huge effort I didn't have time for. I never said anything though as I knew it was pregnancy hormones and being irrational and dds 4 this year and we are fine.

I've had brief moments of it this pregnancy, mainly this holiday when the big two have acted up and he's got angry, I think I don't want him around, I hate him etc, then by the end of the day its forgotten.

We have to remember we aren't just pregnant, we are still dealing with a loss and the fear of being pregnant after one. And that alones enough to play with our minds without the hormones that come with it.

I'm 24wks tomorrow, which seems terrifying, I watched a program on home and health about a 24wk prem baby they're classed as viable from 24wks.

WLmum Fri 31-Aug-12 11:53:29

Thanks state that helps a lot. I know it's just the hormones but it's making me feel quite upset. I'm on the look out for a mega cheap groupon night away for the 2 of us sometime before this one comes. We did that for our anniversary a few months back and it really helped.

Sounds like bliss WL for me and dp things will settle down once ds is back in school, he's been so difficult this holiday, and the non stop noise of our neighbours dc is exhausting. Thank goodness its our last summer in that house!

shirley123 Fri 31-Aug-12 15:45:08

Hi state, I feel like that when I've been having really hard time of it with the other 2 clamberers, both are very demanding attention wise and don't play on their own easily, need to be spoken to and chatted and played with, v weird as we haven't gotten them used to that at all, just in their personality I think, so yes think nicely of hubbie while he's at work then when he gets home sometimes I just don't want to be around, think that's just normal for a busy family life unless there is loads of help.

Have my first doc appoint today..... Had to do a second pregnancy test just now, just got it in my head that the pregnancy was gone ... Don't tknow why just hormones I suppose, well it still says pregnant....

Fingers crossed for me, gestational diabetes may have started already sad

Hopeforever, I'm feeling good so far, also had retired from corporate life and back to doing what I love and was doing since 20, so in a way it's better for me as much healthier lifestyle, luckily hubbie doesn't want or expect me to work since seeing me with ME and wants me to enjoy being a mum with as much energy saved for that.

shirley that's such a relief to read, my dc are the same, I feel like I don't even get to breath some days when they're on at me! Its so exhausting!

Fingers crossed for you, I have a GTT test next week for gestational diabetes, hate that damn test always makes me ill. A test still saying pregnant has to be good, hormones still strong smile

WLmum Fri 31-Aug-12 17:57:07

Thanks Shirley, good to know I'm not being a super bitch. My 2 are also quite demanding attention wise, whilst generally well behaved, like you I do feel that sometimes I just want not to be answering questions or doing voices for 5 mins. Dd2 is better at entertaining herself for a bit, for dd1 I guess it's a combination of being first and lavished with attention and personality.

I did loads of tests along the way with this pg and dd2 (both following mcs). I just needed to see it still say positive even though I knew it ultimately wouldn't make any difference, but if it makes it all more bearable for 5 mins then pee away I say.

hope I love the retired and pg status! Surely you are a sun headline in the waiting!

Evening! Just trying to catch up... State well done for being brave enough to buy some bits and pieces. I think I'll be braver after my scan on Monday, all being well. I have had to buy some mat clothes as I think my stomach muscles have decided not to put up a fight this time, and I feel massive!!

WLmum Fri 31-Aug-12 20:01:23

Hi backward, I had to buy some clothes too because my muscles gave up immediately. I felt awful and like I was jinxing it but I literally couldn't fit into anything. Luckily it seems it wasn't a jinx, neither were the magpies!

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