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Fantastic 40+ Mums To Be

(1000 Posts)
10000fireflies Fri 08-Jun-12 20:33:53

A lovely shiney new thread for us to keep chatting on. smile

eagleray Sat 16-Jun-12 09:59:06

All the very best Whatname - keeping my fingers crossed for you

Whatnamethistime Sat 16-Jun-12 10:25:43

Eagle, I pmd you.

Thanks everyone, that was QUICK.

Its a lovely clear scan, with a HUGE screen to watch on.

They take loads of measurement, head, general size, and one of a fat pouch, if the one of the fat pouch is less than 3mm, then its usually low risk but the bloods can give a different results.

They then take bloods, which they analyse, combine with results from scan and come up with a risk factor. I get the full result on Thursday. This gives 89-90% accuracy for Downs and 2 other rare genetic disorders.

Dead posh compared to NHS!!

Have some beautiful scan photos.

Lifts the spirits right up smile

I was in mad "what the hell are we doing" mode this morning. But seeing the baby, with its little heartbeat (and watching it suck its thumb), then it all makes sense.

This is our future, something to look forward to as we wade through the coming months.

(sorry its all about me am off out with DCs, so will reply to everyone elses posts later).

10000fireflies Sat 16-Jun-12 14:38:22

Hello everyone

Feeling much better today. grin

Midget thank you for sharing your experiences. Interesting to hear. Is really not helpful that they can be so widely contradictory in their advice. I would like a consultant like yours. I was being cautious about having sweep partially because I am only due today, and partially, having heard they can really hurt, because I bet some MWs more adept than others…. I have been fiddled about enough by various incompetent gynaes and IVF peeps to think that it’s worth being selective about who does it.

Still, went back to day assessment unit today and had much more satisfactory time. All looked good on monitors. Had great discussion with head of unit about yesterday’s problems. She will take steps to deal with that as it was all very inappropriate. Today’s treatment was lovely and calm and considerate. As I felt I was in good hands, grin, so to speak, I was happy to take up offer of checking cervix and sweep. She was so incredibly gentle, I barely felt a thing. In fact, I think it was less painful than some smears I’ve had. So, now at 2cm. grin And she was able to touch baby’s head. grin Feeling some faint rumblings. <hopeful>

I will have to go out and buy more chocs now to replace all the ones I scoffed yesterday which were meant for MWs.

whatname your scan sounds great. Isn’t it lovely when you finally get to see them. ;-)

Hope everyone else is ok. Am going to try and apply myself to tidying up a bit as LO really is going to arrive soon.

Midgetm Sat 16-Jun-12 14:47:48

Go go FF's cervix. Glad they are looking after you better. heres for a few more cm over the next few days.

knottyhair Sat 16-Jun-12 16:33:17

Whatname, glad your scan went well. FF, how exciting! Hope your "faint rumblings" develop!

Whatnamethistime Sat 16-Jun-12 20:28:11

Over my dead body will I be having an induction just because someone says so based on some ancient study, I am sure mortality rates were higher for all sorts in 1958.

Yes midwives can be insensitive, with DC1, the midwife told me, as he was OP,that "this is going to be a particularily painful birth", did I need to hear that, did I hell.

My idea of pain management is self education, yes its painful, but better pain than not knowing what is happening to you and being in pain and terrified (AKA DC1).

So far, so good with nausea and heartburn, expecting to pay later.

FF you extert your rights more with each birth I think, Im very sure of myself now, whereas with DC1, I just did what I was told, to my cost, things were very different 16 years ago, although from what I can see from Maternity Ward (really need to start doing stuff, daytime TV is BAD), American births are the same now as ours were then. There was no active birthing back then, (well not where I was), for me it was lie down, be monitored, dont move, which led to terrible problems, Im sure if I had been alllowed to move about more, things would have been easier.

FF Yes to being dilated and poss water birth smile, I dont get the sudden over 40 thing, we arent all exactly the same. They will have fun trying to lecture me, but my plan is to start RLT, EPO (interally) at week 37 and Clary Sage oil in burner from week 38, I am NOT having this baby on Christmas Day, poor baby!!! Will also try to persaude DH to give the old fashioned way of induction a go, but he is a bit paranoid about late pregnancy after my waters broke, just as I was persauding him, with DC2, another 10 secs and DH would have been mildly wetgrin to say the least.

(Just watch my baby be one of the 4% that arrives on due date despite my best efforts).

Day 1 midwives sound like a right nightmare, sounded like a right palava for you. (while I think can you start a 40+ new mummies so we can keep up with you once baby arrives).

Ha to eating choccies, I would too!!!!!!

Hpbp Sun 17-Jun-12 11:07:32

FF cervix opening up slowly but surely, this is very good news, also very glad you managed to get things sorted and you are absolutely right about contradictory info, it s a shame, we do not really need that on top of everything else.
Whatname, it is so reassuring to hear HB and see LO, isn't it ? And the pics, how many times have you looked at them already ? Thrilled for you.
Midget, very interesting your experience of sweep... I need to think about it.
Off to a 3 yo birthday, will catch up later, hugs to everyone, enjoy your Sunday

exexe Sun 17-Jun-12 17:32:00

FF Glad its looking so calm for you and you're having a positive experience.

whatname you seem to be on top of things as well. Great attitude.

I am so scared of giving birth again. I don't get all those women who say it was the best experience of their life. Meeting the baby is the most amazing thing but giving birth to it..? its definitely far from the best thing for me!

I've also decided to sort out my diet so now I'm giving up bread and not eating anything thats high in fat or sugar except for one treat a day. Hopefully that will limit anymore weight gain.

I hope you're all well. I'm so tired. I just want to go and nap for a bit and am not looking forward to work tomorrow!

littleredmonkey Mon 18-Jun-12 21:05:48

Hey Ladies
Hope you are all dandy ?
FF - glad everything is running smoothly honey, bet you are excited.

Exexe - I had a small wobble yesterday after I braved watching one born every minute and burst into tears at the thought of giving birth . Terrified is putting it miildly. The unknown is overhwelming to be honest. I try not to worry about it but cant help the fear gripping me at times. I am a positive happy go lucky soul, but this has me quaking in my slippers. I know the hospital will look after me and so will my partner, its not like I have to have him in a ditch dabbing my muff with nettle leaves !!!!!

Went to the doctors on Friday as I keep getting dizzy though out the days last week. Told I have low blood pressure, I have been told to slow down and relax more, so under docs advise early nights and plenty of rest and partner being the star that he is helping everywhere doing loads of things. Got caught brining the hoover up the stairs , got the ear bashing of a life time , hahahahah he is so funny telling me off. Still powered through doing the house work. The nursery is finished painting and furniture wise, had a cry again when we put up the lampshade with a tiny bear on it . Not cried so much in years. Emotional this baby business isnt it ladies x.

exexe Mon 18-Jun-12 21:23:27

Aaah LRM your story about tears over the lampshade made me smile. Thats so lovely and so normal! I cry over everything at the moment too.
Happy things and sad things.
And stop watching one born every minute! I don't know how anyone can watch it let alone expectant women! Try not to worry. You're right to be prepared but you'll get through it. I've been through it twice and although not looking forward to it, I'm willing to go through it again.

littleredmonkey Mon 18-Jun-12 21:47:50

Exexe - Tell ya what wont be watching again, only caught 10 mintues and that was enough. !!!
Seeing my midwife on Friday to see about touring the hospital and also asking about nhs courses that can support me. Thanks for your positivity and honestly .
Off for some zzzzzzzz and wishing for a night of no loo trips ( ah the dream )

bytheseaside Tue 19-Jun-12 10:34:20

lrm I feel the same - although will also try to feel grateful about the ditch-and-nettle thing.
I've been on a tidying binge too - just found a little bit of energy and have been cleaning the bathroom in a new-found perfectionist way - the bath looked sooo shiny! Then DP came in from a country walk and got mud everywhere, so might as well not have bothered ...
FF hope everything's OK?
Hi to all smile

KMR281 Tue 19-Jun-12 16:03:24

hello,
hope you are all well, and hope that FF is continuing her rumblings! I had my first scan today, officially dated at 12+3, so due Dec 29th. Was so lovely to see the wee one on the screen, and feel so much more positive about having a baby, now i know that (a) there is only one (b) it is a baby, and not a huge bag of maltesers and (c) there is only one in there - hurrah! (did I say that already?!). The hospital seems lovely and clean (it's quite new) and the staff were all lovely. The sonographer said the baby was being well behaved - sure it won't be when it's 2yo...! nuchal measured at 1.3, and had blood taken to get my risk factors determined. Baby seems to have all its fingers and toes, and a heart beat, so feeling positive today!

ValiumQueen Tue 19-Jun-12 16:51:11

20week scan today, and all is looking good. Very relieved, especially as a fellow mum on Nov thread has just lost a daughter at 20+1.

Likely going to book a gender scan for this weekend as it is Trust policy to not disclose. Grr! I think I saw a willie, but would like it confirmed by an expert.

knottyhair Tue 19-Jun-12 16:51:49

KMR, glad it all went well today. Have my 1st scan tomorrow afternoon. FF, any news??

knottyhair Tue 19-Jun-12 17:40:08

Cross posted ValiumQueen, glad your scan went well smile.

littleredmonkey Tue 19-Jun-12 20:18:37

valiumqueen - glad your scan went well, grrr indead fancy not being able to tell you. never mind at least everything is a ok honey.

Knotty hair - thinking of you and your scan Wednesday, hope u dont have to wait long with a full bladder.

KMR281 - glad your scan went well. I too was nervous as hell I would show up two , as a twin myself and lots in the family I was crapping myself. Same as you just the one. I keep getting the jokes at work as I am 25 weeks Thursday that I am huge so there must be two in there !!! silly people

FF hope you are ok honey, getting excited to hear all about your news

Thought for the day : being pregnant, 10 hour shift at work, warm day and polyester trousers are a terrible combination !!!

Whatnamethistime Tue 19-Jun-12 22:05:24

exexe, is this your third?? my second birth was wonderful, one of those I thought people imagined, so it may be better smile and as I said birth 3 was a shock home delivery (she wasnt that fast I just though I was being a woos.

LRM, I dont get the watching people giving birth thing either!!! I dont watch it, although I do watch Maternity Ward, mostly so I can rant at silly Americans giving birth laid flat on their back!! Hope the dizziness eases soon.

FF hope you are well

Bytheseaside, LOL at the mud.

KMR hospital sounds lovely, I get my blood tests back on Thursday.

VQ, excellent, annoying re non disclosure.

KH good luck tomorrow.

10000fireflies Tue 19-Jun-12 22:46:54

Evening all Just a quick hi from me. Am v tired - was up till 2am last night cleaning/tidying/nesting. Or was it just the large 4pm coffee?? Monitoring today was all good. So, back home, another quick burst of tidying/cleaning/sorting, then met up with a friend. Really good sitting in the sunshine, gabbing and drinking iced coffees (oops - there I go again!!). She is also about to pop so great to have detailed conversations about minutiae of late pregnancy. Then we retired to my garden for an enormous bowl of strawberries and ice cream, and fake Pims (check out Schloer Fruit Punch) - perfect! Although am pretty tired, am feeling about as ok as I think is possible for induction tomorrow.

Sorry to be all me, me, me. If there is time and an internet connection will post from hosi. Hugs to all. FF xx

FjordMor Tue 19-Jun-12 23:26:36

Hello all! Had to make the time somehow to come in and post before I get bumped off the thread again! All's more or less well in the Fjord household. Busy with flat-selling from afar, DP doing job interviews, lots of articles with close together deadlines, numerous family members having birthdays and dulling fatigue in my Mumsnetting time on top of that.

Pregnancy wise, well, I'm 23+2 now. I'm mahoosive (have also gained many pounds I fear but hate to weigh myself). Had problems with swollen feet but this seems a bit better this week. Carpal tunnel rumbles on and now getting SPD it seems - not every day but just before the weekend was agony to sit! Was feeling LO having hiccups about 3 times a day - you could see my skin move up and down near my belly button but today she seems to have moved down and deeper inside me so all the sensations are there but much more dull sad. Only other news is that I'm planning a trip back to London to see mum (driving) and trying to see doc/mw before I go. Rumbling doubts/worries about GD/PE but not worried about the driving (alone going there, DP will join me for the trip back). Due to leave 28th June but not counting on it until I see the docs. Hope I'm not dissuaded as that might make life quite difficult (also banking on getting key maternity/2nd hand baby things in UK as am broke - STILL haven't found any non-wired/nursing/maternity bras in Norway in my size - currently about 34K. Also nipples going weirdly lumpy and pale over the lumps but this comes and goes so I'm choosing not to worry.).

Quick shout outs:

FF - saw your news as writing! Can't believe you are still intact with baby was sure you'd have news by now. Hanging out to hear your LO has made it's entrance! smile

Hpbp - I'll be on this thread no matter what but am struggling to get on to comment more than once a week at the mo. I do try to squeeze in a daily read from my phone though but it's hard to keep up.

ValiumQueen - Congrats on the scan. So glad to hear that your acute worries are subsiding. How are things in general these days? How are your DDs doing?

Also congrats on scans to KMR291 and Whatname. Whatname I'm sorry to read of your battles re consultant v. MW led care. Hope you manage to get it sorted out to your satisfaction.

Exexe - YAY! for finally seeing a midwife! I'm trying to get a 2nd appt with mine now. Everything's a bit harder for me hear as they keep questioning my 'rights' as a non-official resident but she's lovely and I do feel looked after.

LRM - oh dear. Stay away from the OBEM! I watched it once, early on and did cry but was also struck by how well the women coped and how not bad it seemed compared to what I had imagined.

For some reason I'm being very pragmatic and not frightened about childbirth. I should be really. I'm a risky case for surgery, probably 50% likely to end up induced or ELCS/EMCS. For some reason I'm not scared or daunted by the pain of labour. I think perhaps it's because I've been through so much hard times and 'pain' of one kind or another and several life-threatening illnesses in the last few years. I know it will be bloody hard work and quite possibly very not pleasant but I keep thinking...'it's just one day, and then it's done and something life-changingly amazing and positive will come out of it'. So perhaps in that way I am 'brave' about the idea of childbirth but only I guess because I have suffered so acutely in so many ways for periods of my life that I just can't see this one 24 hour odd period of suffering to get something I've wanted my whole life as that huge a deal in the scheme of things. But I'm grateful for this perspective. Perhaps I'm numbed to the idea of it by recent trauma? I don't know. I just focus on the stuff I've got to do before it gets here and hopefully what things will be like once it's here. What else can we do? Anxiety and fear are now thought to worsen and lengthen labour. So guess I'm just choosing not to focus on it. What will be will be. No going back now (etc. Etc.) I suppose I just expect it to be pretty horrific but am just choosing to believe 'I'll handle it'. I guess these are just mechanisms I've learned to get myself through trauma before and out the other side. I wish I could gift my ambivalence about it to all those so anxious about it thanks.

exexe Wed 20-Jun-12 09:36:00

ValiumQueen Glad the scan went well. How sad for the mum on your Nov thread.

Whatname Yes, this will be my 3rd dc smile I've always loved the idea of 3 (from a large family myself) but it took a while to convince dh (only child). He's just as excited as me now.

FF Good luck!! Hope it all goes well and I'll be checking here for news from you. That shloer sounds fab. I'm going to get some with my shop today.

Fjord hope all goes well for your trip back to London. I'm just a week or so behind you. I'm 22 weeks today. I'm also getting rather large! I think your attitude to childbirth is great. My sister has a good attitude too and got through on just gas and air and never feels the need to recount her birth story.
She said she imagined each contractionvlike a wave, when it came she knew it was going to get stronger and stronger til it reached a peak and then it was going to subside.
Unfortunately, I'm not like her and would rather be knocked out for the whole thing!

Knotty good luck for today!

I have another scan this afternoon so will report back after that.

Midgetm Wed 20-Jun-12 13:54:12

Any news from Mrs FF? Induction day perhaps?

exexe Wed 20-Jun-12 15:07:01

Scan was fine smile
I didnt get any good pics though as apparently my baby was refusing to pose.
I got one rubbish blurry one and didnt get charged for it.
She also said it looks like a girl smile

knottyhair Wed 20-Jun-12 16:39:01

Exexe, glad it was all OK at your scan, a girl! Mine went well, got some nice pictures and the baby was really moving a lot! She said the nuchal measurements were in the normal range, although obviously got to wait for bloods to come back in a couple of weeks for a more accurate percentage.

Midgetm Wed 20-Jun-12 17:09:22

Hurrah for team pink Exexe and good scan for knotty. I also got no good pic, just a freebie of a head. FF sending you all the best and hoping radio silence means action.

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