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Pregnancy

First time mum. I am teriffied something bad is going to happen! Is this normal?

20 replies

IllanaN · 08/04/2011 14:59

I am 6 weeks pregnant and petrified that i am going too have a miscarriage or that i am going to have my first scan and theres not going to be a heart beat.

I am up a few times during the night just to make sure i'm not bleeding. (which i'm not) Is it normal to feel this way?

OP posts:

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TooManyPufflesInMyIgloo · 08/04/2011 15:06

Yep. Welcome to parenthood. You spend pregnancy worrying you're going to lose the baby, babyhood worrying they'll stop breathing, toddlerhood worrying they'll get lost/hurt themselves, school years worrying they can't do what they should be able to, teenage years worrying about what they're up to, then you worry about their house/job/spouse and before you know it, they're pregnant and you're worrying they might lose the baby ...

Congratulations!

frakyouveryverymuch · 08/04/2011 15:08

If you're abnormal I'm abnormal too... I don't think the worrying ever stops from now

Congratulations and try to enjoy it between bouts of worry!

TooManyPufflesInMyIgloo · 08/04/2011 15:09

But you know, you can feel it when you bleed. And actually I've bled in all my pregnancies so even if you do see blood in the middle of the night, there won't be anything you can do, and the chances are your baby will be alright anyway.

So, for now, nighttime is for sleeping, ok? [stern look]. Make the most of it!

Renaissance227 · 08/04/2011 15:13

Perfectly said TooManyPufflesInMyIgloo!!

nickelbabyhatcher · 08/04/2011 15:14

perfectly normal (i hope!)

I'm 6 weeks too, and every single ache, feeling of sicknes, triedness or fainting, I 'm convinced somethign's going wrong.

then when i don't feel tired, or if my headache goes, i think something's gone wrong.

IllanaN · 08/04/2011 15:23

Its going to be a long 9 months for me :( and i will take that on board TooManyPufflesInMyIgloo

thank you for all the reassurance made me feel better :):o

OP posts:

LB1982 · 08/04/2011 15:24

Oh welcome to my world too! nickel that's what I do. I worry when my symptoms disappear and then I worry if they come back!

I'm not even 5 weeks yet and have the most awful backache and dull ache - a symptom which I have read lots about but i've convinced myself it's because something is wrong

A good tip I've read on here - Stay away from Google!

ToriaPumpkinHead · 08/04/2011 17:08

It gets easier... I'm 11+2 now and while I still have to running to the loo to check moments (to be fair to me I've had absolutely loads of CM since conceiving so quite often there is something to see, just not blood, though I've also had four small bleeds, miwife says this is relatively normal) I've started to accept that actually everything might be fine and I might, possibly, be overthinking things a bit.

Second the advice about staying away from Google. It is not your friend right now and if you look long and hard enough it will tell you exactly what you're most afraid of rather than reassuring you.

candr · 09/04/2011 19:37

Can sympathise, am 16wks now and every tiny cramp, twinge etc has me in a cold sweat am just trying not to let it show. It makes it very hrd to enjoy pregnancy, hope 20 week scan puts mind at ease, to be honest I was so shocked to see healthy baby at 12 week scan. Agree with Toria as goosle convinvced me I had ectopic when it was just UTI. I am sure you will be fine.xx

Cattleprod · 09/04/2011 19:48

I think most first timers spend their pregnancy in blissful ignorance. I know I didn't really know much about ectopics, miscarriage, anomalies, birth and all the other things that can sometimes go wrong. You just don't generally hear much about them in real life, they aren't subjects that come up in small talk and chit-chat.

However, three years of reading mumsnet, where everyone talks about the stuff that they don't bring up in everyday conversation, where it seems like every poster has had something horrible or tragic happen to them, coupled with a personal missed miscarriage last year and enormous amount of bleeding this pregnancy and yes, this time I'm terrified!

Beans1977 · 10/04/2011 07:54

I feel like this too!

This is my first and I have my 12-week scan tomorrow - getting to this point feels like it's taken years and I'm convinced that when we have the scan there won't be a baby in there!

I'm over the moon to be pregnant, this is a much longed-for baby, but I didn't quite realised I'd have underlying anxiety all the time - as TooManyPuffles says, I guess this is the welcome to pregnancy!

Good luck with everything! x

camdancer · 10/04/2011 09:01

Ok, I'm going to out myself as a loon, but I have serious issues with anxiety and worry so here is what I do to calm myself - and get some sleep.

First I work out what I'm worried about. At 6ish weeks, I guess miscarriage is top. So I think seriously about what I would actually do if that happened. Who would I need to call, what practical steps would I take. What could I do there and then. Then I have a list of things to do in the morning - call the doctors/midwife/epu, tell DH, arrange childcare for DC's etc. I also have some things I could do then and there - get a sanitary towel, put a towel under me in case. Anything I can do then I do, everything else has to wait until the morning. There have been many nights where I've slept on a towel just in case. And then knowing what I'd do, I go back to sleep safe in the knowledge that I have a plan.

Yes it is morbid, but it helps me get things in perspective rather than just worrying all the time. Everyone says I'm really good in a crisis, well that is because I have plans for what to do. And a good motto is "don't borrow trouble." Save your energy for when you really need it.

MillsAndDoom · 10/04/2011 09:03

Totally totally normal - good preparation for parenting.

pissedrightoff · 10/04/2011 09:43

A friend once said to me, 'from the minute you get the positive line on the test, the worrying begins and it does'nt stop it just changes'

it's very true and very normal.

thegingerone · 10/04/2011 15:28

perfectlynormal!!!! I'm 8 weeks with dc3 and I'm even more terrified tihs time than the last two pg(which were without any dramas) that something is going to GO WRONG. So much so that I'm refusing to join the Due in Nov thread in case I jinx my pg.

Take care. I hope you get to enjoy your pg. X

Yukana · 10/04/2011 16:53

It does get easier, and congratulations on your pregnancy! I was the same, absolutely terrified and almost tearing my hair out.

If you know yourself well, which it sounds like you do , I would suggest:
-Avoiding things that will make you worry excessively, for me it was baby programs such as One Born a Minute - as soon as I found out one lady had bad news I was over-worrying for weeks!
-Buy yourself a doppler if you can, it does help to ease your worries and you can listen to the baby's heartbeat whenever you like with it. They are usually for 12 weeks+ but it doesn't hurt to get one in advance. :) I'd recommend the Angel Sounds one.

I can't really suggest anything else, but your midwife/doctor I'm sure will be happy to let you listen to the heartbeat or ease your worries if you talk to them. :)

MsScarlettInTheLibrary · 10/04/2011 17:02

You might have a miscarriage, it is not a rare thing and lots of women go through it - myself included. It's scary to face such a high chance, I know.

BUT the chances are higher that you'll have a healthy baby. It does hurt to wait and see, I know, but pregnancy prepares you for parenthood by encouraging patience and acceptance as well as worry.

I wish you luck!

PrincessScrumpy · 10/04/2011 18:24

With dd1 I think the mw knew my voice from all the calls I made. This time I've been just as bad as I've had bleeding and cramps. DH is banned from sex as I bled afterwards and I am terrified something is wrong. Have been in A&E already (today) due to the cramps and the fact I only felt movements on one part of tummy and so I was convinced one of the twins was dead. Still not convinced and have a scan tomorrow. Am 16 weeks so I think it'll be a long pg! Welcome to mummyhood. xx

PrincessScrumpy · 10/04/2011 18:26

Would be cautious re a doppler - a friend of mine got one and kept panicking that she couldn't find hb. her dh could but when he was at work she spent the time in tears worrying. Her dh took the doppler back after 3 days! Baby is fine.

lolajane2009 · 10/04/2011 18:28

i'm 17+ 2 and still terrified. The only time I am not if the days after hearing the heartbeat and seeing my scans. I think it is normal.

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