Had consultant this morning - need perspective

[Pootletrinket]

I was anxious as I'd wanted to ask about being released back into MW unit so I can try for more natural labour (pool etc) but then they discovered that baby (36+2) is breech; am booked in for ECV next week and suddenly am having the whole gammet of what could/could not happen next reeled off to me and c-section was mentioned more than 6 times.

I tried to stay positive (while I was in there, been in floods since!) and said assuming baby moves by self or the manoeuvre is successful; given my hopes etc, is there any reason why they wouldn't release me back to MW led care.

She said that my BMI on its own was a risk, but didn't seem to be an issue but now baby is on 90th centile of growth with abdomen and (she later mentioned) head being on 95th centile that she would recommend Consultant unit in case they had problems with delivery of shoulders.

I asked what chance of discussion about this; she said normally none, but has left it open for me to meet and have discussion in 2 weeks (after success/otherwise of ECV or frozen peas on baby's head!), which I appreciate.

But what's happened to me, and DH doesn't really understand, is that in the space of one morning, I've gone from tootling along quite happily to doom and gloom - even if baby turns (which I'd always felt positive about but they didn't even consider the option that he'd do it himself) they think he'll be too big for me to deliver safely on the ward that is next door to the consultant unit......and THEN all I can think about is not having the courage to try vaginal breech birth and being terrified of C-section as well.......

I know pessimism isn't the answer, and I'm trying but with DD's pregnancy, I was so optimistic and everything (almost) went wrong so really can't see how it won't this time.. :(

[SelinaDoula]

(((Hugs))) Sounds very stressful.
I would take your concerns one at a time.
There is a good chance your baby will turn naturally and there are loyts of techniques you can try to help it turn (e.g. Moxibustion, seeing a chiropractor and spinning babies exercises.
www.spinningbabies.com/baby-positions/breech-bottoms-up/about-breech
If baby doesn't turn then you could try ECV.
If baby does turn, (how was your birth with DD? How big was she?)then possible big baby (and possible shoulder dystocia) is not a reason for obstetric intervention and I think you would be justified in arguing for the MLU
See-
www.also.org.uk/download/shoulder%20dystocia%20review.pdf
50% of cases are in smaller than averagem, it is very difficult to predict-
www.homebirth.org.uk/shoulders.htm
Have you been doing any hypnotherapy to help your positivity about the birth?
S x

[Pootletrinket]

Thanks Selina

Will try some exercises before next Thurs as they've already booked me in for the ECV - and I've heard of bag of frozen peas on its head?!

DD was induced, forceps delivery (largely because the contractions were useless, they reintroduced the drip and her heartrate dropped but after 2 hours of pushing, I was too tired to get her out) - she was small - 2.82kg (whereas this one's expected weight is already 3.29).

No, regret to say after all my preparations, hypnotherapy, positivity last time went wasted, I've been in denial for the duration of this pregnancy but am now getting flashes of panic at not having the courage to cope with the pain etc....

[SelinaDoula]

Have you considered a Doula for support? Where in the country do you live?
Were you induiced last time because you were overdue?
Anecdotally, I have found the bigger babies I have seen born (8-10lb) were easier than the smaller (6-8lb) ones. I think the contractions seem to work better and they tend to get less stuck in funny positions than smaller babies.
S x

[Pootletrinket]

There aren't any qualified ones in my area (Shropshire) - induced because of increased BP at 40+4 and after 3 lots of prostins and ages on the drip, the contractions just felt useless!!!

Thanks for your help and support x

[SelinaDoula]

I think Sallyann covers your area.
She's nice-
www.doulabirth.co.uk/
Could be worth ringing her for a chat if nothing else.
There are also a couple of trainee's (which is cheaper)
doula.org.uk/content/marina-churm-doula-profile
doula.org.uk/content/alison-libby-gillies-doula-profile

Increased BP can be a sign of impending labour.
S x

[Pootletrinket]

Can it really?!?! My waters broke as well before they induced me (although they told me they hadn't- until after the birth when they said I was right!) but I think she wasn't ready to come out.

Will talk to DH about doula again, we had discussed it a few weeks ago and saw Marina's profile, but he felt he might feel a bit isolated and excluded with a doula present. x

[SelinaDoula]

I have the same discussion with most of the dad's. Have a read of some of the testimonials on my website if you get a chance.
I keep bugging some of the Dad's to write longer one's, because quite often they start out feeling the way your DH describes but once you meet them, its all about working togetger as a team to create a positive birth for you all!
I feel I'm there for the Dad's as much as the Mum and if your last birth was difficult he could be pretty nervous as well.
Its hard for Men because they are suppossed to protect you and be a good birth partner but can feel like they have let you down when birth is difficult.
I know some of the Dad's I've worked with would be happy to chat to your DH about having a doula at a birth? If he fancies it PM me and I will organise it.
www.magicalbirth.co.uk/6.html
Selina
PS I looked at Marina's profile and had a feeling she would work well for you
PPS You could always have her come round and meet you both, there is no financial commitment for this visit and you can see how you all get on and if your DH feels it could work once he's met her
Keep in touch and let me know how you get on

[Pootletrinket]

Thanks Selina. He was a rock last time, but his blinding faith in me ("your body didn't let you down last time, it was all that intervention" rather than acknowledging I'm scared I won't be able to do it/cope with the pain) isn't hugely helpful atm.

He wouldn't talk to another Dad, but thanks for the offer. Will have a chat tonight, thanks for your advice and kindness x

[SelinaDoula]

Also if your waters broke as a first sign of labour, it could be your DD was posterior.
Have you ever seen a chiropractor? They can help turn breech babies (if you looked at the Spinning babies breech page, sometimes a twist in the pelvis can predispose you to posterior and breech babies)
Here are a couple in your area-
www.castlechiropracticclinic.co.uk/
and
www.severnchiropractic.com/

[Pootletrinket]

I have seen a chiropractor before for bad back but not for many years as I eventually concluded that they all made my back pain last for longer!! Another friend who is baby mad (and watches all the progammes [hmmm] has suggested moxbustion!!).

Am starting reflexology tmw anyway; would/could chiropractic intervention be before/after ECV and could they tell if the baby had moved before then anyway?