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Pregnancy

Just got +ve result and now terrified

19 replies

rics3 · 10/02/2011 13:35

My husband and I have been trying for over a year and I tested positive 1-2 weeks this morning which I think makes me 4ish weeks pregnant. Every month we've not been successful I have been gutted and was starting to think it would never happen and that something was wrong with me and now this positive result this morning - thought I'd be pleased but that didn't happen.... So far I have told noone, not even my husband. I have my Mum coming to stay for 5 days and just don't think timing is right this week. To be honest (and this makes me feel really guilty as I know I'm lucky to have finally conceived)I feel totally freaked out, shocked, horrified, terrified, scared sick and tearful about the whole thing. I don't want to tell people as that will make it real and my husband is going to be so thrilled I'll feel even worse for having all these bad thoughts. I just want to curl up in a ball and the whole thing to go away.

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fifthpie · 10/02/2011 13:40

It sounds as if you may not want to hear it yet, but congratulations! I think your reaction is normal. When I got my positive I cried and it was a mixture of relief (we'd been trying for years with numerous problems) and terror. It has taken me months to get my head around the whole pregnancy and I'm still scared! I'm 5 months now and can only just start thinking about what I need to buy etc.
Give yourself a break and allow lots of time to get used to the idea.

knackered76 · 10/02/2011 13:44

Give yourself time. It's a huge shock when you have been wanting something for so long and have convinced yourself that it would never happen to find that it suddenly has. I found my first pregnancy quite hard to get my head around with a constant worry in the back of my mind about something. Don't tell your mum until you're ready to do so. This time we didn't tell any family until about 16 weeks, was so nice keeping it to ourselves for a bit. Tell your dh and let him be excited but then explain that at the moment it's all a bit overwhelming for you and you need to time to try and get your head around it. You're quite normal feeling this way. Oh and congratulations :)

cheapFlower · 10/02/2011 13:54

congratulations :)

and don't worry about your feelings. totally normal - I was exactly the same; it just probably needs to sink in first!

enjoy your pregnancy!

BFAnon · 10/02/2011 13:57

look, it's really normal. i was this way with my first pregnancy and my secound (current) one. never felt joy when found out- just fear, desire to curl in a ball and pretend nothing happened. it's a major change in your life- of course you'll be scared, of course you'll want it to go away- people normally hate changes even if they are expected and much welcome. don't worry, it'll pass- sooner or later- but it will. congratulations!

barmbrack · 10/02/2011 13:59

We tried for a child for 6 years. When I finally got pg, I had exactly the same reaction as you! It's normal, don't panic!!!

And congratulations!

FeralGirlCambs · 10/02/2011 14:43

Just wanted to add to what everyone else has said - I felt exactly the same. Having been trying for nearly a year and beginning to worry about whether there was something wrong etc, when I got the +ve I was a mess of tears, fear and no joy at all. It is, after all, a massively life-changing thing and I guess what you, I and all the o.ps have experienced is basically shock, in the medical sense. Congratulations when you're ready for them!

ecuse · 10/02/2011 15:01

Totally - there are a bunch of extremely logical reasons why you're feeling terrified (shock, massive lifestyle change etc) but on top of all that you're super hormonal. Give yourself a break - you'll be thrilled soon enough. No need to feel bad. Congratulations!

mandy1978 · 10/02/2011 16:42

think its kind of normal.. i got really freaked out with our first.

and was terrified for 9 months, it helped prepare me as motherhood was far easier and less scary tan i had predicted in the end.

give yourself time to go through the emotions and find someoen to talk your worries and fear withx

xxxx

CilantroLarry · 10/02/2011 16:45

It's absolutely normal. Because what's happened is nothing. Everything looks the same, nothing is different seemingly. Except the whole world, your future has shifted in the 3 minutes it takes to take a pregnancy test. That's a massive thing.

The shock/fear lessens and excitement takes over. Promise.

Congratulations, you're going to love it.

DelGirl · 10/02/2011 16:46

congratulations . I think it is a totally mormal reaction too. I had 5 lots of ivf to get pregnant and when I did, I felt like you do now. Your feelings should soon change to being excited, especially once you have told your dh I imagine.

DelGirl · 10/02/2011 16:47

Normal

MandaHugNKiss · 10/02/2011 17:00

I hope you're gettin the gist here? You're so very, very, normal!

Real life often isn't the way you see it depicted in adverts (god, the awful pregnancy test onces where a woman dreamily smiles at her positive test!), tv, film or literature (it's called fiction for a reason!).

Remember, you're not a cardboard cut out person from a mills and boon novel - you're a real, full to heck of hormones, woman. A prenant woman. CONGRATULATIONS!

It will take a little while to sink in. It's a blooming shock, whether you are trying to get pregnant or not. That two line moment is... just surreal. I'm on my fourth set of two lines now and it was still a surreal moment.

You won't always be feeling the way you do right now so, seriously , cut yourself a break. You do need to talk it out - it'll help you process and start to realise how you truly feel underneath all the shock - so do it here if you really feel you can't with anyone in real life.

MandaHugNKiss · 10/02/2011 17:02

Wow, do beware of the horrible effect pregnancy might have on your typing/spelling

I think it's still semi-coherent?

cakeywakey · 10/02/2011 17:05

Another vote for normal here . My pregnancies have all been planned and very much wanted, but I've always been shocked when the blue line appeared. It'll wear off.

Congratulations!

FanjolinaJolie · 10/02/2011 17:08

Let it sink in. It has come as a shock to you, it was a shock to me to even though we'd tried for a baby for 13 months with no prior success.

Perhaps go for a walk, get some fresh air and clear your head.

You have some wonderful news to share with your husband but you can take as much time as you like to digest it yourself.

And congratulations to you!

lolajane2009 · 10/02/2011 17:21

lol i'm 9 weeks and still in shock theat I am pg afer 8 years of trying. i think this is natural.

FanjolinaJolie · 10/02/2011 18:50

Lolajane that is just wonderful! After 8 years??? Congratulations to you

theonlyhb2 · 11/02/2011 11:40

congrats ric3 and lolajane!

i think its only been the past few weeks I have been more excited about it and not in a state of shock and terror! the constant sickness didn't help my "excitement"!

AdiVic · 11/02/2011 14:57

Mandy1978 is so right!

I felt just like you did and was almost horrified when I found out, but it did pass. If you dont' want to tell anyone don't! I got some non alchoholic red wine to fool people if they came for dinner and just put it to the back of my mind. Give yourself time to get used to it, and maybe wait for the scan before you sprad the word. Don't pressurise yourself;) Like Mandy, I thought the worst, and was pleasantly suprised with the labour and looking after my baby. You hear lots of horror stories (why do women do it to eachother???) But all I thought to myself was women have done this for thousands of years, and if they can do it, so can I. Your husband may clock on something is up - perhaps the 2 of you go away somewhere nice and quiet for the weekend. Life is too short to be unhappy or scared, so try and get your head round it and TRY and relax xx

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