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Will arguing/crying harm my unborn baby?

(16 Posts)
Esme11 Fri 04-Feb-11 21:28:42

I'm 30 weeks. Had a huge row with OH last night and ended up sobbing/yelling etc. We have had maybe 5 arguments over the course of the pregnancy but last night's was the worst. I know it isn't doing me any good and I've told him I cannot do this again. I'm so scared I've harmed the baby somehow. Am I likely to have done serious psychological damage to her?

No of course not. You may well have put your blood pressure up which is not good but no, shouting and crying will not bring on labour (otherwise both of mine would have been born very early frankly blush)

I hope you can resolve your differences with your OH though.

I mean will not bring on labour or cause any other lasting damage.

MmeLindt Fri 04-Feb-11 21:33:55

No, don't worry.

I do think that a constant strained atmosphere is not great for you, but your baby will be fine.

Hope you and your DH can sort out your problems.

Esme11 Fri 04-Feb-11 21:36:09

Thanks WMMC. Great name btw. I just imagine that all the stress chemicals will flow into the baby and she will hear the anger and be scared or maybe be an angry/stressy baby.

I guess I am hoping to hear of others who have had arguementative/stressy pregnancies and gone on to have healthy babies. Surely all the pregnancy hormones must make for lots of arguements, no?

somanymiles Fri 04-Feb-11 21:36:52

I had a miserable break up with DS's Dad when I was 6 months pregnant. He is a moody child. Not sure of this is inherited from hos moody Dad or because of all the tears I shed while pregnant. I try not to beat myself up about it because there was nothing I could do. He is a healthy child and I had a normal pregnany health wise too, so try not to stress too much about it. Just take care of yourself as much as you can - you have to put yourself first for the next few months. DH and I fight terribly, despite loving eachother very much, but he has been much better since I explained how emotionally vulnerable I am right now.

I was a grumpy shit when pregnant both times. My kids are sunny little buggers. Much more so than me.

Esme11 Fri 04-Feb-11 21:38:01

And ta, MdmeL. I don't think the atmosphere is bad between arguments but there are issues that need sorting.

Esme11 Fri 04-Feb-11 21:40:06

That must have been so tough, Somanymiles. Glad you are happy now.

RockinSockBunnies Fri 04-Feb-11 21:40:22

I've never argued so much in my life as when I was pregnant. I was eighteen, massively hormonal and living at home with my mother. We had screaming matches monthly. DD, now nine, is perfectly fine - sunny nature, no moods and apparently utterly oblivious to the arguments she was exposed to in the womb!

1Catherine1 Fri 04-Feb-11 21:41:48

No you won't damage your baby by having a screaming match or sobbing your heart out for short periods. I think most couples fight during pregnancy as our bodies change and we're constantly tired.

Long term stress and pressure is bad for baby as your body is supposed to be looking after and nurturing your child and in certain situations where you are very stressed the body looks after you instead diverting vital supplies away from baby and redirecting them to you. So unless you and your OH are fighting all day, every day and you are stressed out in between you couldn't possibly harm the LO.

When my mother was pregnant with me she was under constant stress and pressure and made herself very unwell with it. We aren't talking a couple of arguments here we are talking stuff that would make a none pregnant woman ill from stress. My dad says that this was the reason I cried more than any other baby he had ever come across but love and attention in baby's first year can undo any damage caused (this is also what the research says). I only tell you this to show you exactly how much stress you would need to make the smallest impact on your baby - its quite a lot so don't worry yourself!

I second what whomovedmychocolate said though, I hope you and your OH can stop arguing for your own piece of mind.

Esme11 Fri 04-Feb-11 21:42:07

That's reassuring RSB. I dread to think of the fights I would be having with my dear mum were I to be living with her whilst pg!

Esme11 Fri 04-Feb-11 21:45:08

Thanks 1C1. That helps a lot. Think I am going to take a bath to try and unwind and have a break from OH who resumed last night's argument on his return from work. If that doesn't work, I'll turn to chocolate.

tlise Sat 05-Feb-11 15:08:45

My exhusband had an affair when I was preg with DS 2. Lots of stress and tears and arguments. He was always a happy child when he was younger and certainly when born
Unfortunately as I am very short tempered, hubby and I tend to bicker quite a lot but it certainly hasn't affected any of my others. Except they seem to have picked up my stubbornness :/

tbh I think it has more effect on your bp and your health than babies.

Lollylau Mon 05-Aug-13 14:46:40

Well ive got to say i would chastize the bastard if he so much as tasted a drop of alcohol the ungrateful shit! im carrying his baby for nine months its the least he can be is sober and on the ball, when im not pregnant anymore thats fine like, he can drink as much as he likes the ungrateful bastard

lozza22 Mon 05-Aug-13 15:35:39

my sister has got a very firey temperament and spent the whole 9 months of her first pregnancy screaming crying and just generally being hysterical as her dh was being an idiot.
her son was born on time and very healthy. he does have a quick temper now at 12 BUT i think thats more to do with genes than the link your worried about.
Dont worry your baby will be fine

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