fed up

[ledkrsbellyislikesantas]

Hi is anyone else feeling fed up in pregnancy?I am 32wks and have had a bit of arubbish few weeks,spd from about 18wks then severe breathlessness from 26wks,the combination of the 2 have left me unable to walk far at all and i have had to finish work early,with xmas just around the corner this has made xmas shopping almost impossible.I have done most on line but you still need to go to town for bits dont you?
Dh is trying very hard but i dont feel he understands at all and i sometimes think he seems irritated when i keep asking him to do things.Felt worse today cos i was with 2 close friends,one has just had a baby 8 wks and the other has a 9 yr old and 15yr old and is trying again,she said a lot of stuff shouls ignore but it was along the lines of"inever have anything like that when im pg,"made me feel like an idiot,Also said she will concieve "straight away" it took me 4 yrs!And to top it all said she would have a home birth(i am booked for a section) and when i said how nice the new hospital is she said"you wouldnt catch me in hospital,i hate it"Dh said this is all ridiculous as she has had 2 kids only and doesnt know what the future hold but its made me really feel worse than ever.If i cry i cannot stop,i feel so useless just sitting around and cant even clean my house or pick dd 8 up form school.Am i depressed do you think or just pregnant??

[ledkrsbellyislikesantas]

see,im not imagining it,you lot think im moaning too

[ANTagony]

When I had SPD with DS1 (now 7) in agony confined to a wheelchair a really helpful consultant at the hospital informed me pregnancy doesn't hurt. She'd had a baby so she could categorically tell me that. I cried for about two days solid. I felt thoroughly useless and resentful that the time I was looking forwards too on maternity leave I was wishing away and unable to enjoy.

Have you been to your GP about pain management and a physio referral to help you on this run up to the birth and post birth getting properly back on your feet?

Have you had the breathlessness checked out for potential pregnancy asthma? I developed mine at 26wks out of the blue (I'm also 32wks now).

Do you have the opportunity to get a cleaner in for a few weeks maybe to help with the washing as well?

Regarding your DH, yep its tough on them having to help out a bit more and quite frankly I catch myself being a bit short with mine and then feel a bit embarrassed and I don't have SPD this time around.

Do you have any big shopping centres nearby that have a wheelchair you could use to get around? Most seam to offer them for free use and if you can find a fit friend/ family member to push you it may just get you out of the house for a bit. I know that sitting isn't that comfy but it gives you the getting up /sitting down option.

[happycamel]

Hi Ledkrs, I think it's just a bit quiet on here tonight - nothing personal!

I'm not surprised you are a bit down. You're having a rough time of it and you've got a friend that is boasting about how her (theoretical) pregnancy is easier than yours.

It must be especially difficult for both of you to have looked forward to you getting pg for 4 yrs and then finding it's a really rough ride. I expect your DH is also feeling bad for having made you that way; I know mine felt terribly guilty about my morning sickness and kept apologising. I don't think it's easy for them.

Pregnancy hormones aren't helping either I expect. I get a bit of pregnancy rage sometimes and sometimes randomly cry. Went to church yesterday and half the songs and the sermon set me off - they weren't even particularly emotive! Heaven knows what I'd be like if it was Easter not Christmas!

Anyway, just wanted to tell you:

1. your normal
   
2. we're not ignoring you, honest
   
3. to run a nice bath, grab a hot chocolate and treat yourself. You sound like you need it!

[ledkrsbellyislikesantas]

Thanks you two,that has helped alot,ANT i have never heard of pg asthma tbh.I will ask.How wierd that yours came on at exactly the same time.I think anxiety makes mine worse too.
I did have some physio but was more offering suggestions of how to cope,i paid for osteopath and he did acupuncture!!The spd is not as bad as with dd 8 but combined with the breathlessness and rib pain it feels it.Had a good chat with dh last night and yes happycamelhe does feel guilty,itold him that i am struggling with feeling like a pain in the arse as it is and when he ignores my tears or complaints it actually compounds this.He said he jst doesnt know what to do as he feels responsible for it all.
Have just found out they do poundstrecher online so may have agander on there,take care xx

[TooImmature2BMum]

I think your friend is being silly - who cares how a baby is born so long as it's healthy and so are you? I have just finished having this exact conversation with my mum - she had me by emergency Caesarian and a friend of hers once said to her 'oh, but you didn't have your babies properly, did you?' Honestly. We were born the only possible way in the circumstances - what else was Mum supposed to do? If your friend hates hospitals, that's her problem, not yours. Also, how does she know when she's going to conceive? It could take her 4 years for all she knows.

Hope you're feeling better now - any good bargains on Poundstretcher?

[ledkrsbellyislikesantas]

I think friend is abit jealous tbh.She has been umming and ahhing about a new baby but hasnt the room etc.I am very over sensitive to everything at the moment,I was saying well i havent got much choice etc but obviously not loud enough haha.
Not quite got around to pound stretcher yet.