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Hurrah for outraged tube commuter

(222 Posts)
Cyclebump Tue 30-Nov-10 13:49:46

I travel an hour and a half each way to work and am now 22 weeks pg with DC1. Am starting to get very painful ligament stretching and have prior hip issues that mean it's getting hard to stand for long periods.

Bump is big and highly visible.

Last night on the tube, I stood from Victoria to Ealing Common. I just don't have the balls to ask for a seat but several people saw my bump and took seats anyway, I was even pushed out of the way by one.

Suddenly, man who was also standing got flustered. 'That seat should be yours! Does this sing mean nothing?' he shouted (pointing to the priority seat sign) 'What are you people? Blind?! It's disgusting!'

I gratefully took the seat that was duly offered even though I was only one stop from home.

ShatnersBassoon Tue 30-Nov-10 13:52:31

You must ask people if they'd mind giving up their seat for you. More often than not they'll gladly shift for you.

DrSpechemin Tue 30-Nov-10 13:54:04

Hurrah for that man!

I always thought I'd ask for a seat but when I was pg I felt very vulnerable and never had the confidence to ask.

On my last day of commuting I sat on the floor in first class and managed to get a seat one stop away from London. I can remember a women getting on who was visibly more pg than me and I was the only one to offer her a seat.

Sometimes people just don't notice - or want to make the mistake of you just being fat and not actually pg.

FrameyMcFrame Tue 30-Nov-10 13:56:54

I found rubbing my bump, moaning and heavy breathing helped grin

Octaviapink Tue 30-Nov-10 13:59:20

I found that standing in front of the person in the 'priority' seat (practically on their feet) swaying my bump in their face with every motion of the train and staring unblinkingly at them usually worked...

Cyclebump Tue 30-Nov-10 14:00:26

I'm the kind of person that, when I fell over and hurt my wrist at DP's rugby BBQ I didn't tell anyone how much it hurt because I didn't want to embarrass him. I even carried on playing rounders for two hours.

On the way home I admitted I was near passing out and it turned out I'd fractured it really badly and was in a cast for two months. DP was so upset that I'd not told him how much it hurt.

I just get terribly embarrassed when I'm in pain, weird or what?

Cyclebump Tue 30-Nov-10 14:01:09

Oh and I wore my 'Baby on board!' badge this morning. Didn't work, people just look away.

sethstarkaddersmum Tue 30-Nov-10 14:02:44

Hurrah for that man!

themymble Tue 30-Nov-10 14:03:04

I like the cross man. I wish there were more of them!

I don't have to travel on the tube (thank-goodness) but travel on a very overcrowded train at least once a week. If there are no seats I sit in first class, and if I am questioned I tell the conductor that I am not prepared to stand, but will happily move once a seat becomes available. Sometimes they go and get me a seat in second class, (which I assume means telling some poor person to move) sometimes they just trust me to move once the train empties out a bit.

I woudln't mind if i were hugely fat and someone offered me a seat thinking i was pregnant

<big lazy gimmer>

PelvicFloorTrauma Tue 30-Nov-10 14:21:03

I think you have to be pushier. I know you feel very vulnerable (I did too and especially on crowded commuter tubes) but make your way to the vicinity of the priority seat and politely ask its occupant to give the seat up for you (assuming your need is greater than their's!). IME no-one wants to stand when they can sit and it is extremely easy to pretend you are engrossed in your newspaper and haven't noticed the pregnant woman nearby. Be polite, direct and firm. It worked for me.

hazchem Tue 30-Nov-10 14:31:36

It's really crowded when i get on the train. I only need to go one stop so am happy to stand but want to get on the train. "I've started saying excuse can everyone move two steps down please" wait a little and then say "i'm six months pregnant" I normally end up with a seat and the ten people behind me get let onto the train so i feel i'm doing good for more then just me.

Cyclebump Tue 30-Nov-10 14:33:48

I think it's partly because I'm 'only' 22 weeks and feel I should be coping better.

Even typing it out has made me feel even sillier for feeling like that. Tonight the revolution begins!

Ealingkate Tue 30-Nov-10 14:33:54

Hello cyclebump, nice to meet another Ealing MNetter

Cyclebump Tue 30-Nov-10 14:35:56

Hello, I've seen your name before and thought exactly that! Am new to MN as I'm on DC1. I couldn't really afford the local NCT stuff (£300), so nice to know there are 'locals' on here!

TallulahBelly14 Tue 30-Nov-10 14:40:27

I've been reduced to tears over this. I'm 31 weeks with a very visible bump, and very painful spd - only aggravated by standing up for an hour each way. But regardless of whether I wear my Baby on Board badge or not, noone gives me a seat.

I even got elbowed in the stomach the other day, by a woman who thought I was holding on to her bag (it was wedged under my bump in the squash). shock

I can't bring myself to insist that someone else gets up, because I can't say for sure that they're not disabled / pregnant themselves (although it's usually men who sit in the priority seat and pretend they can't see you). I really don't know what the answer is...

Ealingkate Tue 30-Nov-10 14:41:03

I am actually in Hanwell. When are you due?

Cyclebump Tue 30-Nov-10 14:42:37

Ooh, TallulahBelly, that's awful!

I got pushed out of the way by the bump but to elbow you is outrageous!

Perhaps we need a pregnant tube commuter support group where we can chivvy each other on to politely ask for a seat xx

gosh these stories are awful. I always get a seat as I am completely shameless about it... you HAVE to take off your coat and stand in between the seats, not at the section by the doors. Otherwise people won't see you as they stare at their papers. And stare at people!

Now I'm 37 weeks I am gonig either earlier or later though, to avoid the crush!

I think people are genuinely kind and will give a seat if they see you. Not a whole carriage, but one person in a carriage will.

I can understand them not - I offered a seat to a fat woman once and it was the most mortifying experience of my life. She nearly started crying. I'm sweating now thinking of it blush

MollieO Tue 30-Nov-10 14:53:26

I offered a seat to a woman who had had a baby the same time as me (she told me hers was 1). blush

I never got offered a seat when I was pregnant and reckon that the strain of commuting was one of the reasons ds decided to arrive early.

I was hugely pregnant on dc2 last xmas and was in a huge queue in Sainsburys, with a basket of shopping. A man just in front of me said really loudly "Please tell me I am not living in a country where a woman this heavily pregnant has to queue? Surely none of us are that busy"

Bless him he made it impossible for everyone not to let me go next. I was very grateful!

Cyclebump Tue 30-Nov-10 14:59:39

I was offered a seat least year when I was pg as I carry weight on my stomach blush

I graciously took it and thanked the offerer as I was worried they'd be embarrassed if I said anything.

Wombat33 Tue 30-Nov-10 15:01:49

You don't have to target a specific person (esp if you're woorried the person in the priority seat might be disabled or pregnant themselves) you can just look hopefully around the carriage and say: I'm sorry to ask but I don't suppose one of you is willing to give me a seat? I've seen that be every effective in the past.

ShuffleBallChange Tue 30-Nov-10 15:11:05

People are wankers, I stood at front of crowded bus for 20 mins last week, very pregnant and everyone just looked away, then a blind man got on and this woman made a huge fuss and made sure she offered her seat loudly to him, he refused and her friend congratulated her on her kindness. Silly old bag. I actually though about weeing on the floor to pretend my waters had broken to see if that got a reaction!!!!

ricketyrock Tue 30-Nov-10 15:12:09

I had something similar when I was about 22 weeks on the tube. I was in the corner standing as no one offered me a seat (no one looked up and I just couldn't be bothered to say anything/ was too chicken) and then there was an old man that got on with a stick and still no one got up! It was on the tip of my tongue to say something and then in the end another man started having a go at the men sitting in the priority seats and told them they should get up for the old man and for the pregnant woman. I was embarrassed but also grateful. I also realised that the problem is not that people are bastards but that they just don't think. I think the signs should be more obvious and the drivers should make announcements reminding people to look up and see if there is someone who needs a seat more than them. I think also that if I had got the tube when I was heavily pregnant I would have just sat down regardless of whether someone was already in the seat or not!

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