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Pregnant at 48 years old-Are there any other older mums-to-be out there?

(44 Posts)
belle453 Sun 14-Nov-10 16:45:50

I am 6 weeks pregnant and 48 years old. I am extremely scared and worried about the massive implications of this. This will be my first child after suffering a miscarraige at 40 and never conceiving since. I am certainly not delighted. If the baby does go to full term and is healthy which is the main concern obviously I am then going to have to deal with the age thing. The few friends of mine who have children are all in their 20s and I have a step-daughter of 28. Help I want my life back already!!!

expatinscotland Sun 14-Nov-10 16:52:07

My mother has a friend who had her first, and only, at age 50. Spontaneous conception, full-term, healthy daughter.

She and her husband, however, placed the child up for adoption as they did not feel able or wish to bring up a child.

Concordia Sun 14-Nov-10 16:57:45

i dont' have personal experience of this but send you my best wishes for the pregnancy and beyond.
i would say that many men have children in their mid to late 40s now as routine (my DH is one) and that they are rarely criticised by society. I am sure your age means that you have a lot to offer a child that a younger person may not.
some friends of mine recently had the second child. their combined age was 101.

Concordia Sun 14-Nov-10 16:58:31

you will never get your life back though.... just a totally different kind of one.
hope it goes smoothly.

lucy101 Sun 14-Nov-10 17:35:58

I know a few mothers in their late forties - including my neighbour who had her second at 46. This is not uncommon now, especially in places like London (the average age of my Doula's clients is apparently 41). I don't know where you are but I am sure you can find some other mums in their forties.

lljkk Sun 14-Nov-10 17:37:39

I salute you OP, that is quite a challenge to take on. Best of luck.

SofiaAmes Sun 14-Nov-10 17:39:22

I have a friend who had her first at 46. He is now a healthy teenager going off to university next year. And she is happy and enjoying being a mother.

How wonderful, hope all goes well for you. smile xx

lollipopshoes Sun 14-Nov-10 17:43:24

Hello. I'm 41 and pg. I do have three children already, and have had a couple of miscarriages

Last time I was pg (during this summer) it was quite embarrassing telling people - I knew they were thinking "at YOUR age!!!" This time we haven't told anyone yet and won't until I'm 12 weeks but I'm not really looking forward to it if I'm honest.

My eldest child is nearly 17 and one of the things that worries me is if we're all out together people will think that this child is my grandchild.

I am happy about the pgy and looking forward to adding to our brood but of course I have worries, I am deffo an old mother!

Congratulations on your pgy, and if you want to share experiences, I'm around here most days at the moment.

Congratulations!
No personal experience but I'm sure you'll be an amazing mother with a wealth of experience to offer your child.

Good luck x

SparklyJules Sun 14-Nov-10 17:47:34

I don't think "the age thing" matters anymore. You are hardly decrepit!

I have two aunts who had babies in their forties (44 and 46) and I've never considered their ages - just how good mothers they were.

Life will certainly take a different path for you now, but it's up to you to embrace that.

Well, I am 41 and still intend to have one more. smile There is a mum at school who had her last one at 48 and the little girl is lovely and in my DD2's class so I get on well with her mum even though she is 53. Age doesn't mean the be all and end all to me IYSWIM. x

MrToad Sun 14-Nov-10 17:59:24

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Luisa Dillner writes a great column in the Guardian called "pregnant again..... at 48" where she talks about her experience of an unplanned and unexpected pregnancy at 48.

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/series/pregnant-ag ain-at-48

taffetacat Sun 14-Nov-10 18:01:49

There's a 40plus mums ongoing thread on here where you would be very welcome. I think its called FortyTowers.

My best friend had her first at 44. Her only regret was that she was unable to have more. Her DD is 7 now and one of the best adjusted children I know. The age of her mum is a non issue.

sotough Sun 14-Nov-10 18:09:22

older parents are wonderful! my parents were ten-15 years older than those of my classmates and it didn't bother me at all; i actually think it's an advantage to have older and wiser parents who are very settled in their lives.
my dad was 50 and my mum 44 when my youngest sister was born and having a small child at a later age kept them young. i hope your pregnancy progresses smoothly - look forward to a wonderful experience you might never otherwise have had.

violetwellies Sun 14-Nov-10 21:01:23

Im expecting my first, I will be 46 when I give birth, I have never been pregnant before, in fact never even done a pregnancy test before, I feel totally lost and confused and work have been dreadful, but Im also pleased to be pregnant and hope desperately to have a healthy baby next year.

belle453 Tue 16-Nov-10 20:15:09

Thanks for all your comments and support

gotmunchies Tue 16-Nov-10 22:34:47

Hi belle

First, congratulations! Being pregnant at any age can be scary and really daunting, more so if it's your first. Loads of women are having babies now in their forties. I'm hoping to get pg soon with my 3rd and I'm 40 next year, dh will be nearly 50...we'd like to make it to 4dc so I'll be into my early 40's if all goes to plan. Definitely worth checking out the older mum tread if you can find it. There seem to be enough out there that you aren't such an oddity.

My friend has just had her 6th dc she's 46! Honestly, having a baby is exhausting at any age.

I'm sure you are in shock but hope you can start to celebrate and see this as a blessing soon. Bugger what others say.

Good luck!

spiderlight Tue 16-Nov-10 22:43:11

From the other side of the issue, my parents had me when they were 46 and 47, after 14 years of trying. They were apparently terrified but it was fine and they were wonderful, wonderful parents to me. The age thing very rarely bothered me and really was not an issue at all, although losing my mum at 33, before she became a grandmother, was very hard.

What you are feeling is natural - I felt the same when I was pregnant at 34. Your life will change, but you have so much love and joy and wonder ahead of you (and exhaustion and frustration and piles...!! ;) ) Good luck with it all, and I hope it all goes smoothly.

gotmunchies Tue 16-Nov-10 22:54:32

spiderlight...that was a really lovely message for belle :-)

belle, hope you can soon start to look ahead and think about all the wonderful joys and blessings a child brings to life.

Does anyone know where the threads about older mums are? I can't find them?
Thx

LooL00 Wed 17-Nov-10 10:20:45

here

I've just had dc3 and I'm now 44.

lilly13 Wed 17-Nov-10 11:00:36

congratulations!! unfortunately, i do not have any advice. just wanted to wish you a very good pregnancy and healthy baby! you are very brave and should be very proud of yourself!

gotmunchies Wed 17-Nov-10 19:27:28

Thanks Loo. Let's keep it bumped! And congrats to all the 'older' mums...I'm going to start to say 'wiser' mums. wink

tea4tw0 Wed 17-Nov-10 21:14:04

I'm 5 weeks pregnant - this will be my first - i had a mc earlier this year - all being well i will be 42 when the baby arrives - and yes i'm scared too. I have no idea what to expect or what each twinge etc means - Am glad to have found mumsnet it's a real comfort zone )

1derful Thu 18-Nov-10 23:15:36

Congratulations. I have just had my first baby at 46 after 2 mcs. I am so happy with my gorgeous girl and I may even try for another! Good luck.

lovette Mon 22-Nov-10 00:15:24

Hello,
I just want to offer encouragement for you. I am so happy for you. I pray you will truly enjoy this pregnancy and that all will go well for you!!! If you feel sad or down about this, know that there is somewhere supporting and praying for you and the new baby
Sincerely,
Lovette

bobby39 Tue 23-Apr-13 17:32:50

I have just had my first baby at 47. I was very depressed, distressed and terrified to tell people. I was also worried sick about whether she would be healthy.
I now have a beautiful happy healthy baby daughter and everybody is overjoyed for me even people that work in the local supermarket. My midwife said that there are lot's of women in there forties having babies now. Her father was extremely angry when I told him I was pregnant he now adores her. Try to enjoy this time and it isn't that big a deal as you think it is.xx

bobby39 Tue 23-Apr-13 17:35:49

I have just had my first baby at 47. I was very depressed, distressed and terrified to tell people. I was also worried sick about whether she would be healthy.
I now have a beautiful happy healthy baby daughter and everybody is overjoyed for me even people that work in the local supermarket. My midwife said that there are lot's of women in there forties having babies now. Her father was extremely angry when I told him I was pregnant he now adores her. Try to enjoy this time and it isn't that big a deal as you think it is.xx

2havefaith Tue 04-Jun-13 01:31:54

I think I know what you are experiencing. I just recently discovered that I am pregnant. I am also 48. I am in my 7th week. First time pregnant. I honestly thought I was too old to get pregnant. Some of the same fears go through my head, but then I believe that this little baby is a miracle. If this baby is meant to be here then he/she will be here. The whole dr. experience has been a bit overwhelming and somewhat traumatizing. The challenge for me has been to trust what I know to be true. You are not alone.

nensey Mon 12-Aug-13 02:49:25

Hello i want to follow up on your pregnancy.

nensey Mon 12-Aug-13 02:58:59

as also i am in my forties please advise.

snowqu33n Mon 12-Aug-13 04:45:26

Hey, not sure if OP is still around, but there seem to be others in their forties expecting. FWIW, I am 44 expecting baby at Christmas. Happy and all seems well at the moment. Congratulations to the other mums-to-be, stay positive you have so much to offer your babies. People have been having babies in their 40s for hundreds of years.

Meringue33 Mon 12-Aug-13 05:54:09

Congrats. I have a friend who is 48 and has just had her first (IVF). Baby is lovely happy & healthy.

Isabeller Mon 12-Aug-13 06:32:59

I will be 49 when my baby is born in January 2014 (IVF DE).

I had my first catty comments on Saturday 'no one will believe you are the baby's Mum' from my adult DD's friend's mother but DP's friends couldn't be more thrilled and supportive and both our families are too. Adult DD is also 'officially' expecting now after her 12 week scan!

How are you 2havefath? Good to read your common sense comment snowqu33n.

Xenadog Mon 12-Aug-13 08:21:01

I turned 40 a couple of months ago and I am due to give birth in December. This is baby number 1 (and only!) and also totally unplanned. It is only now at 22 weeks when I am starting to come around to the idea that I will be a parent and things will be OK.

I have really mourned the loss of what I thought my life would be - just before finding I was PG I moved in with my partner, and was planning on moving jobs and just wanted time to do fun things like holidays, socialising etc. I've spent my life pleasing myself and doing whatever I want to when I want.

Now however I can see that my new life will be incredibly different to "the plan" but this doesn't mean it's all terrible.

OP, the only advice I can give is that pregnancy is for 9 months for a reason - it gives you time to adjust and work through the worries. I was horrified when I got my BFP and every week I have a meltdown and cry about what I am losing but now there is something in me which is feeling positive now and I love feeling the baby movement inside.

Just wanted you to know someone else has felt/is feeling the same as yourself - give yourself time lovely to adjust. xxx

Isabeller Mon 12-Aug-13 13:16:47

Xena you will find yourself doing fun things you never thought of before! There is masses to look forward to, like getting a whole new dimension. smile

eggcup Thu 26-Sep-13 20:05:52

Someone told me about a woman who's written about having babies in their 40's. Her name is Claudia Spahr and I think the book is called Right Time Baby. Basically alot more positive than the kinds of messages that come at us older mums from GPs, society in general...
Congratulations Belle, wishing you all the best xx

Xenadog Thu 26-Sep-13 20:08:50

My mum had me at 44 - it can be done! I wish you well x

Loulou1968 Wed 29-Jan-14 01:19:05

I was quite shocked to be pregnant at 43, but am now 45 and have a beautiful healthy daughter. She brings me joy every day. She is my 4th child, my eldest being 22, and just made me a grandparent lol, makes me feel younger being an older mum

lucy101 Wed 29-Jan-14 06:57:21

Hi there, 7 months pregnant and creeping towards 45! Actually very common indeed where I am in London so no one blinks an eye. I have lots of older mum friends. Women have always had babies into their 40's, the peak of births to older mums was in 1946 if I remember correctly. Best of luck!

pinkbubsy3 Tue 29-Jul-14 09:53:57

i am pregnant and 48 its my 6Th child all the others were from my husband ,this child will have a different dad ,and he is an alcoholic ,not sure if i should keep !! hate the termination idea,all my children are hard working and wonderfull

Mexicantortilla Wed 30-Jul-14 04:41:59

Hi, I'm 45 and expecting my DC4, I have 2 teenagers and a 4 yo, all DD's. I had DD3 4weeks after my 41st birthday and I worried about how old I was looking back it really wasn't an issue and I coped every bit as well as with my earlier pregnancies, I love her to bits and couldn't and wouldn't imagine life without her, I'm not sure how I feel about this pregnancy but I'm sure I'll get through it! I don't look or feel my age and will probably knock a few years off if anyone asks me grin
Congratulations and I'll hold your hand thanks

Joules1968 Mon 27-Oct-14 12:31:38

Hi Guys

I have just joined this sight as I found out that I'm pregnant and I am about six weeks. First one, and I am 46yrs and will be 47yrs when due. It was a shock and I am still coming to terms with this. I understand that there can be a lot of complications due to my age and I would like to hear from anyone who has been in the same predicament and hopefully some advice.
Thank you

Tapperpl Mon 24-Nov-14 12:32:05

Just googled pregnant at 48 and this came up. I'm 47 and since July have been going through IUIS with CHLOMID and this is my last round as they state it causes ovarian cancer so this is my fourth and last round before I start shots with iui or shots with IVF. I seem to have more immature insides for my age I'm told. Making follicles on my own but we added CHLOMID to try and amplify it. I'm praying for this miracle to work and ill know by weeks end. This is all out of pocket for me as my insurance does not cover infertility. And shots will be a fortune as well as IVF. I have to say I'm like forever 15. I did look at the age thing. But im a full blown saggitarius and I suffer from Peter Pan syndrome. Lol Never wanting to grow up. Yes I know I am like a two yr old. My mom had me at 16 and I'm attached to her hip and I say geez I'm a like a baby and need my mom all the time. My kid wouldn't have that when they would be my age. That saddens me that I let my life and time slip away like an idiot. So many regrets I have. I say there are no guarantees. My mom lost her mom at 16 and her dad at 26. Ya know? Not everyone lives forever. So here I am at the fertility center where yes I look younger than most 30 yr olds in there and the DRS. Say oh you have a 2% chance of having a baby with your own eggs and I should get an egg donor. But I wanted to try IUIS anyway. Did one natural and now 4 on CHLOMID. Next stop as I said are shots and maybe with IVF which the one dr asks me do you want to do IVF and try with your eggs prob not viable? The other dr says to me I have follicles and have more than the 30 something yr olds in there. I have had fsh levels from 10 to 16 fluctuating up or down each cycle. The other dr says what I can't believe is at 47 how do you have these follicles. Another gloom and doom dr. Ugh. I have one who supports me there but the others just feel egg donor is best. SOOOOO with that said. Any of you in your forties and late forties who are preggo are lucky!!! WISH IT WERE ME!! wish me luck. I'm praying it works out for me as the guilt I live with now even for my parents and sick dad who always would say "what are you going to wait til I'm dead?" He is 72 but never woke up the same from a kidney transplant. My mom is 64 and my guilt Is tremendous!!! Also it's just us and one brother and he just hit married and I know if his wife ends up having any kids I know I'll have major issues with it and will be devastated. I'm so sad right now cannot even tell you. To the original belle lady who said 48 and pregnant. I hope she had her baby. I hope all went well. I see that was from 2010. Anyway keep me in your prayers all!!

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