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Tips for new dads - ways to make your partner very happy after childbirth.

(28 Posts)
LoopyLoops Mon 08-Nov-10 23:11:59

When I was in hospital last time, I was very jealous when another mum's husband came in the morning after her labour with a picnic of all the foods she hadn't been able to eat in pregnancy. She was Spanish so had tapas style - lots of cured ham, chorizo, prawns, fresh coffee and a small bottle of champagne.

I'm going to drop hints to DH this time round, and wondered if anyone had any tips to add?

yousaidit Mon 08-Nov-10 23:14:57

get parents to do your washing and ironing for a week or twi while you find your feet... a godsend!

Stock up on homecooked food in the freezer so you eat something half decent while you cannot remember how to function...

a pair of nbice jim jams to slob round the house in without looking like a slob so you don't feel horrificly depressed when you can't be arsed to get washed and dressed...

Oh gosh, I have to say I have consumed all of those things at some point during my pregnancy.

I am hoping for beef wellington for my dinner once I get home... not because I haven't been able to have it, but just because!

DirtyMartini Mon 08-Nov-10 23:25:36

Absolutely, nice food to the hospital was what I thought when I saw your thread title.

Also magazines/newspapers if you are stuck there for a bit (I had a cs).

Husband of the woman opposite me on the ward brought her a Frappucino. I was envy

llandb Tue 09-Nov-10 02:35:35

Hmm... I was just grateful that my DP was great with the baby (was exhausted after labour, c-sec and blood loss) and followed instructions (e.g. go and buy me/bring me xyz). For all her DIL-hating sins, it was MIL who suggested that he buy me flowers - he didn't think of it

And further, I was grateful that I had a decent partner who was streets ahead of the hubby of the poor woman opposite me in the ward.

She hobbled around and looked after baby, who was under observation for something or other (with help from both her visiting parents).

Her hubby lay on her bed (so she had to sit on the visitor's chair), watching telly, and moaning that he had to go and move the car but was tired. (I had an ex like that but made sure he became an ex before there were kids)

Mind you, this is giving me ideas for a Frappucino request

fezsarecool Tue 09-Nov-10 02:45:29

Buy her some nice perfume.

Do the morning school run and cook dinner for a couple of weeks.

I found that enormously helpful.

muslimah28 Tue 09-Nov-10 02:51:35

definitely food requests. Actuallyy you dont need to worry about giving your list now-i gave mine during labour between contractions as a distraction from the pain ) it was quite amusing for dh (and me) for me to have a contraction and then tell him to buy me creme patisseries and then have another contraction to be followed by a request that he asks his dad to make a curry!

it was highly effective pain relief to salivate over my post birth munchies

AlpinePony Tue 09-Nov-10 07:40:56

All those foods are fine anyway.

When I got home all I wanted was a coffee and a cheese sandwich. We had no milk/coffee/bread/cheese in as I'd been a week in hospital and he'd just been trying to hold everything else together.

It may not be particularly "romantic" or a huge gesture involving diamonds - but if the lady wants a cheese sandwich, that's what she wants.

FakePlasticTrees Tue 09-Nov-10 07:51:11

I got home to champagne in the fridge, then v good steak (rare as possible!) with blue cheese sauce and lots of spinach (my iron levels were low). And chocolate, he brought chocolate to the hospital, he stocked the house with chocolate. He brought me cups of black coffee and chocolate when trying to get DS to bf.

oh and he'd changed the bed so I had nice clean sheets that weren't all hospitally to get into.

Ran me deep baths with tea tree oil in.

Kept thanking me for DS.

And he took me at my word to keep my parents and his parents at arms length and was v strict about limiting them all visiting in the hospital. (and told his mum it was time for them to go when I wanted to go back to sleep)

oh bless, he was rather lovely.

Miffster Tue 09-Nov-10 08:04:34

Oh what a honey FakePlasticTrees.

My mum wanted an Irish coffee after having me so my dad ran to a pub, which weasn't open yet, and the landlord heard the tale and made a thermos of coffee and poured a glass of whisky and a jug of cream and after the landlord showing dad how to make the Irish coffee, dad ran back and gave it to mum.

llandb Tue 09-Nov-10 09:35:06

All lovely fellas! But I'm especially at the cheese sandwich and the irish coffee

CrazyPlateLady Tue 09-Nov-10 10:19:28

Some acknowledgement for how wonderful I am, grin. I got no card, balloon, present, nothing. sad

We have actually talked about it this time as DH didnt' give me much support and it was all about getting back to normal as soon as we got home when I wanted time to adjust (and recover from a very very difficult birth and tear). DH was far more interested in trying to keep our crap shack tidy (he never tidies in his life) than supporting me. I was still doing all the cooking. DS came 10 days early and DH assured me he would be cooking so I didn't bother freezing meals, not doing that this time.

He also wouldn't take an extra week off work as holiday as it was January and he doesn't like using hoiday at the beginning of the year. This time DD is due the same time and DH is taking the extra time off.

I think he has learnt a lot from last time, so any improvement from last time would be a huge bonus.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Tue 09-Nov-10 10:24:30

Mine spent the three days in hospital with me, so nothing to come home to. But, oh, how I wanted him to go out and come back with chocolates and champagne and sushi. I had Gestational Diabetes and was feeling very, very deprived.

And he tried so hard to support me by trying to get our life back to normal; lots of suggestions to go out for the day with the baby, etc., when she was 2 weeks old, so I'd feel myself again. All I wanted was to hunker down and be brought food, really.

But he was wonderful generally. If I had any tips, it'd be; you know how imminently-labouring women nest? The instinct doesn't go away just because they're in hospital, they want to come home to a perfect nest for their tiny child. And also they will be HUNGRY.

angels1 Tue 09-Nov-10 10:24:52

dreaded hormones, I've actually got tears in my eyes from reading all the kindness of various DHs. I know mine will do everything I specifically request (like bringing in foods to hospital etc) but he always needs to be told in exacting terms what I want/need and when. I can't imagine him using his own initiative to do such thoughtful things, but am perfectly willing to be proved wrong

maltesers Tue 09-Nov-10 10:30:32

Tell them you love them just the way they are, even when belly is still bulging and they dont want sex. . . .for months and months. Help lots with the new baby. . .
My Ex didnt nothing for the new babe and i resented it bitterly....
Tell your wife to go and take and relaxing bath and to take her time and pamper herself. . . that which you get little time to do with a new baby.
Or, offer to have the baby while they go shopping . .!

nicolamumof3 Tue 09-Nov-10 13:23:33

fakeplastictrees that made me cry what a lovely dh!

mines well trained now after three dc's!

elk4baby Tue 09-Nov-10 17:56:46

My DH's nesting instinct (if men get it) kicked in big time once DS was born. He went home for half a day and cleaned the house (hoovering every little corner), put the cot together (we didn't assemble it before DS was actually born (superstition, I guess)), made sure there was some food in the fridge that didn't require lots of work. He was wonderful, really .

Although, I do remember cutting veg for a salad the very first day home... all I wanted was to lie down and rest really, but silly me thought 'life shouldn't stop' hmm.

The only tip for DH for next time - insist on me resting as much as possible, as the blur of broken sleep lasts for months. (DS is 18mo and still isn't really sleeping through the night )

Have never done this, am contemplating my menu requests for after dc3 is born...

EdgarAirbombPoe Tue 09-Nov-10 18:14:55

be nice to your Mrs, bring tea & biscuits. Fend off other relatives and children.

i see from several posts i have been wildly unambitious in my post-natal demands from dh.

Call your wife beautiful every day and say thank you a lot.

reallybusymummy Thu 11-Nov-10 20:35:54

DH and hospital were wonderful (West Mid are fantastic), but wanted to check self out day after Csec.We left at 11.30pm,with tiny bundle in snow suit.Got home at 11.45pm,husband fed baby and put her to bed. I got into bed with fresh sheets and fresh pj's and a cup of tea in a china mug...in a bizarre surge of energy, I insisted we went to church the next morning and have her blessed, because she was a long time coming. Then we went home, DH cooked amazing lunch and got up bringing the baby to me so I didn't have to strain. It was just the perfect right foot upon which to start and for which I was humbled and grateful for his selfless love, support & kindness

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte Fri 12-Nov-10 09:00:20

What a lovely thread!

My DH is wonderful in every possible way, and arranging food requests is really not his forte. Food terrifies him, essentially.

When we got home with DD he defrosted me some soup and made toast without me even asking... I have never been so touched or so grateful for a meal.

TooImmature2BMum Fri 12-Nov-10 09:22:44

I just emailed this link to DH and got this in response:

champagne, sushi, chocolate and flowers were on my checklist
clean sheets and pj's will be added...

Isn't he sweet?

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte Fri 12-Nov-10 15:26:00

Ahhh, bless.

0ldieMum Tue 23-Nov-10 11:27:37

Oh how lovely..... dumb hormones are bringing tears to my eyes at the lovely DHs on here.

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