Too late to go back...

[fanny75]

I'm pregnant with my first, who's due at the end of December, which is still a while away, but I'm starting to shit myself get really really scared/worried about the actual birth. I've got my first antenatal class coming up, which I'm half dreading, and half looking forward to, but the thought of actually going through with the birth, and all the sweat, blood, tears etc makes me feel, well, sick and faint. Is this normal? And is there anyway to avoid it (not the birth obviously, altho I'd quite like a little time machine or something so I can skip that part!)

[DuelingFanjo]

I was recommended Ina May Gaskin's book about childbirth. I t has loads of birth stories at the begingin and then the second part is all about working with your body and not letting fear take hold. I found it really good. I've also been trying to de-sensitise myself by watching loads of births on you tube Might not work for some but I found it really good to see what actually happens.

[lal123]

Not all births involve blood,sweat and tears! Both of mine had very little blood, hardly any sweat and only tears of joy at the end. Yes giving birth is hard work - but it is also one of the most amazing experiences there is.

And of course as your Mum would say - there's no point in worrying about it!

[HooNose]

The sweat, blood and tears didn't worry me. It was the pain that freaked me out.

But whatever you are worry about, the thing to remember is that the reward at the end is far greater than anything else you could ever achieve in your life. No-one has ever done, or will ever do, anything greater. That's why women go back for a second, third, fourth etc time.

[fanny75]

I know its just a really small part of the journey in the grand scheme of things, and if it was truly terrible, then there wouldn't be many people around - so says the logical part of me, but the squeamish part is saying run away as fast as possible! A friend bought over a Miriam Stoppard book, which I flicked through and promptly gave myself nightmares! And I keep having flashbacks to the video we watched in biology at school. Even thinking about it now is making me feel all faint. Perhaps I'll just pass out through the whole birth

[SweetGrapes]

Have had 2 and sometimes get into a mild panic about the birth.
Both my prev were text book births. (First emcs without any trauma/drama and with a quick recovery). Second drug free, intervention and stiches free VBAC and I was on cloud 9 after the delivery.
So, I have no reason to panic - but I still do sometimes.
I had a doula for my second and I think she made a huge difference in my handling of the pain. I was able to keep on top of it and keep in control.

[FindingMyMojo]

I totally recommend this relaxation birth preparation CD.

As well as being a relaxation exercise for the last few weeks (just lie down & listen is all that is required of you), it totally addresses the fear issue head on & makes you feel so much better. I brought it and used with great success, and so many of my friends subsequently borrowed it and loved it too.

Read the reviews on Amazon for more detailed info - if it's out of stock there have a google as it's widely available. They are based in Brighton.

[fanny75]

I was just reading about the Ina May Gaskins book, which seems to focus on a natural childbirth. I'm in France and they are big fans of epidurals and medication, which I'm not adverse to - I figured that sometimes its just best to go with the norm, and if that's pain relief, then so be it. But even the process of having the epidural makes me squirm. I'll definitely have a look at the CD. Its not the potential pain that bothers me, its more the thought of the actual process and how any dignity I may have ever had will go out the window. I am really looking forward to meeting the little person who keeps me awake at night, and becoming a mummy, its just the birth. Oh, and breastfeeding makes me feel all queasy too!

[DuelingFanjo]

Probably shouldn't admit it but Breastfeeding scares me too, despite it being the most natural thing I still worry that I will feel a bit squeamish particularly when I have people showing me how to do it, so don't think you are alone there :)

[Muser]

Have you thought about doing a hypnobirthing class? I don't know huge amounts about it, except it's meant to help with staying calm and managing the birth. If you had some good techniques like that it might help you to feel calmer?

[bundlebelly]

Try not to be scared. Do everything you can to make you feel better about it. Don't listen to other people's horror stories, it will just make you feel worse. In the end, it will be one day out of your life. Yes, it is scary and painful, but it is worth it a thousand times for your baby. You will be ok. WOMEN ARE AMAZING! AND YOU ARE ONE! x

[Samraves]

Hmmm, that CD must be good - it is out of stock!