How do you cope with looking after existing family if have severe sickness?

[PussinJimmyChoos]

I am really struggling...I have all day sickness that only seems to ease a little when I am lying down and have slept

I'm trying everything - little and often eating, sea bands, ginger biscuits, keeping fluids up etc but I think its just a case of riding it out until the 12 weeek mark (was the same when pg with DS)

Thing is though, homelife is suffering. Normally I'm at work, whizzing to the shop during my lunch hour to stock up on anything that has run out, I do all the cooking (DH can't cook) etc but obviously this is not happening, although I have tried to make a few meals - did spag bol on Sunday that lasted us two nights.

However, last night we had to have take out pizza as by the time DH came in, I would have been too hungry and starting to gag before he got anything ready to eat. I was crying as felt guilty for giving DS take out and am having to put him in nursery for an extra day each week (so he does 4 days not 3) just so I can rest up

No family nearby to help and no other RL support so its just down to us really, and its pretty miserable

[angels1]

feel for you pussinjimmychoos. I've got no other children and don't know how I would cope if I did as have felt so rough all the time. I'm now 12 weeks and people keep telling me I should be getting better any day now...

I say don't worry about your families diet etc. My DH has had to live off ready meals he has to cook himself. It's only for a couple of months. Just eat when you need to and if your DS lives on crisps and sandwiches and cbeebies for a few weeks then so be it, he'll be fine in the long term. It's so hard as it feels like there's no end in sight and we'll feel like this forever...just do what you can when you can and if you're really struggling see the doc - I was given sickness meds at 5 weeks I was so bad/miserable. They arn't a magical cure but they do help (although at first made me terribly tired). There will be days when you willneed to just lie down for most of the day and there will be days when you can feel up to more. When you feel a little better, maybe try and cook bit portions of things that can be frozen (if you're worried about food) and when you're rough just do nothing.

[Jacksmybaby]

I feel for you too, it's really rough isn't it.

Can your DH take on extra with your DS and/or around the house? You say he can't cook but surely he could throw together some pasta and sauce or something?

Try not to feel bad about your DS's diet suffering, he will be fine on sandwiches and fruit for a few weeks if necessary. Also, if he is at nursery does this mean he is getting "proper" meals there?

hope things improve for you soon.

[PussinJimmyChoos]

Yes he's getting proper meals at nursery so that's good but even so, pizza take out last night aside, I do try to make him meals at home as well as its not his fault I'm feeling so bad. Tonight he had cheesy pasta with sweetcorn and carrots with a banana for pudding so am pleased with that

DH will do more of course but he's fasting Ramadan now so although he tries his best, he needs to be careful with what he does so as not to overdo it

[Jacksmybaby]

Sounds like between nursery and what you can manage at home that DS is getting a good diet overall then. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

[TwoCupcakes]

Have been there myself when i suffered with all day sickness for the first 4 mths of my pregnancy. during this time, DH lived on takeaways and tinned food. I was lucky as I have a nanny and she cooked for my other children as there was no way I was going anywhere near a stove. i think that it was only during the weekends that i could bring myself to cook and when i did so, i cooked loads and froze the food so as to carry it over for a few days. like you, we have no family support so there are days when it gets pretty overwhelming!

my DH is fasting at the moment too but he is still able to put together a simple tinned meal or at least heat up frozen food in a microwave. how about stocking up on frozen meals by buying them online?

good luck, you will feel better eventually!

[LittleMissSnowShine]

Sorry to hear about the sickness puss! I had terrible HG in first trimester - lasted from about 6 weeks until about 15 weeks, coming back from time to time if I seriously overdid things and got over tired. Ended up taking cyclazine tablets - these worked a bit, but mostly by making me so drowsy that I'd be sleeping rather than throwing up which isn't going to help much if you have a family to look after already

I guess you could sit down with DH and make a weekly shopping list of v easy to prepare meals and things for you to snack on and either send him out to the shop or get him to order online. At least if you have food in the house, that's half the battle.

Hope you start to feel better soon, don't beat yourself up if housework falls by the wayside until you're back on your feet again. You need plenty of rest and hydration or you'll end up in hospital on a drip which is no use to anyone!!

[margaret0709]

Ahhh sorry to hear that.... My cousin had really extreme sickness all the way up to 40 weeks! the doc was really worried, but bubba was healthy and happy so i recon just sit it out and be brave, hubby will just have to understand. Chin up :)

and on the bright side....

amoralia.wordpress.com/2010/04/01/morning-sickness-linked-to-brighter-babies/

[EndangeredSpecies]

A good question... 13.5 weeks and also have all day sickness that seemed to have eased off last week but is now back with bells on. Luckily the DCs have decided to behave beautifully and amuse themselves today, I have done absolutely nothing and feel like totally useless parent.
agree with previous posters, keep cooking to a minimum. Kids love boiled eggs and cheese toasties anyway, and as for housework, not even featuring on my to-do list until Week 15 or whenever it is this sickness goes away. Keep telling yourself it won't be for long (it just feels like eternity)

[PussinJimmyChoos]

Glad to hear I am not alone...I sobbed buckets earlier because I asked DH to take the bin out as the smell was making me gag and he forgot....

Sounds awful as well, but feel really resentful of friends as I think ffs! You know how rough I'm feeling, would be nice if just someone just offered to bring a dish around...and then that sets me off again with the wailing...

I'm not sure I'm eating properly really although I'm trying to. Today has been:

Bread with jam before even sitting up to see if that helped (it didn't)

Tomato soup with cheese and two pieces of brown bread

Oven chips (mid afternoon and feeling so ick I wanted something quick)

Pasta salad - which I didn't eat much of as didn't appeal

And in between all this, countless crackers

Can't help but think I need a bloody good filling meal - comfort food like roast is appealing atm but if I aint cooking it, it aint getting done!

Resentful..moi.....

[Lozario]

I'm 8 weeks preg and right there with you. I feel like I've eaten only beige food for the last fortnight - this eve I ate chicken supernoodles!! Feel shocking the whole day and only help is to be constantly eating which feels awful when you're so sick doesn't it.

Firstly, my NCT diet book says if you feel dreadful in first trimester, don't stress about your diet, just eat whatever makes you feel better. The baby can successfully raid your bodily stores and will not be harmed - you can eat better when you feel better.

Secondly - this will make you feel better - I usually cook all of DS's food from scratch but our kitchen is being redone so have been using a microwave or eating out for the last fortnight!! Plus even opening the fridge door makes me heave, so he's been on those kiddy ready meals for the last couple of weeks too. I do feel a bit guilty but frankly he much prefers them to my terrible cooking and it's only for another few weeks max - in the big scheme of things (ie his whole life) it is really not going to do any damage at all.

Your mates either have no idea how hard it is (because as we know, it's indescribably bad!!!) or they have forgotten. My attitude is I'm doing everything in my power to make life easier for myself at the moment - in my last pregnancy I was v proud and did everything myself and now I look back and think why, no-one thanked me for it! CBeebies is your friend, so are takeaways, crisps and literally whatever else it takes at the moment. Ask your friends to do things to help. If they say no, break friends with them!!!

You're not alone, it doesn't last forever and it will be worth it in the end. Am telling myself this as well as you!

[PussinJimmyChoos]

Loz - we need to set up a club!

Two lovely friends offered to help today so that has made me feel better...as for the others, well I will see how I feel when the hormones calm down - its so easy to be upset when this hormonal and take everything personal so must be rational

Put DS in nursery again today..DH did not help by telling me I should take a shower and get on with it..I was up at 7am with DS but gagging and feeling awful...I went right back to bed after DH and DS left and its only now that I'm sat up and feeling a little more human - do you find that if you lie down and sleep a lot, its more manageable for a period of time when you wake?

[MissWooWoo]

poor you Pussin ... if you fancy a roast dinner have you thought of getting something like this

it's a bit tv dinner but you just wack it in the oven from frozen and (I'm guessing) viola 30 mins later a reasonably healthy cheap meal that you haven't had to prepare.

Those frozen veg packs are brilliant - bung them in the microwave for a couple of minutes and then serve with cold sliced ham and ready made mash for the kids.

Tins are your friends at times like these

Forget about housework, do the bare minimum that you have to do, with dp doing the bulk of it.

Hope you feel better soon

[LittleMissSnowShine]

puss - you're managing to eat a whole lot more than i did for first trimester, i survived on occasional bowls of cereal or pieces of toast. couldn't even keep folic acid or multi vitamins down

38 weeks today tho and bump is HUGE!! LO always makes sure they get what they need :)