When to tell my boss?

[Lushy28]

I am only 6 weeks plus 2 days but am concerned about some very busy and quite stressful work trips that are coming up late September. It would mean I would be away for holiday with my partner for 5 days, then straight to Germany for 5 days (for work) and then straight to Russia for two weeks (again for work). Is this too much to do? My doctor says there is no problem with flying etc, but I am more afraid of the stress involved, being abroad if there are any compilications and trying to eat properly/healthily. Any advice would be much appreciated. :)

[azazello]

I would either say at 12 weeks or immediately after the nuchal/dating scan which is usually between 10-13 weeks. Once you've seen a heartbeat at a scan everything is a bit safer.

If you feel ill/ need time off/ feel anxious/ want to / etc do say something earlier.

[niamh29]

It's up to you if you feel up to this travel, talk to your manager about it, I had to tell my supervisor and manager as soon as I found out at 4 weeks. I asked them to keep it quiet and I'm nearly 8 weeks now and still keeping it as quiet as I can. (I work with chemicals so I have to tell my employer straight away as I can only do certain things while pregnant) if your manager is any good they should be able to help you work through the issue.

[Lushy28]

Thanks for the advice ladies. I will try and wait as long as I can but will probably have to do it in the next few weeks :)

[PickleSarnie]

I told my boss at about 7 weeks. Didn't obviously intend on telling them that early but I was so sick in the early days and totally exhausted that I spent so much time at work in the toilets either puking or sleeping that they would have thought I'd had some sort of drink problem otherwise!

It was actually a huge relief for me to tell them as opposed to trying to hide it.

[gigglewitch]

IME it depends on the job and the manager. With ds1 and 2 I had to tell my boss - who I got on well with - every early, about 6 weeks, because of risk assessment issues. He kept it to himself and was fantastic.
By the time I was pg with dc3 my job had changed to entirely management, my boss had changed to a female who had a motor mouth, and I could manage the risks myself, so didn't tell them til about 14 weeks.

[FuzzyWuzzyWuz]

I told mine at 6 weeks cos I wasn't very well and was forgetting things, not as switched on as normal. He took it very well (we get on quite well) and is sworn to secrecy until 12 weeks. So far, he's kept it quiet, although me being off sick this week may give me away as some in the office knew we were TTC, and my boss isn't there to cover for me.

I'd say if you're worried, have a quiet word and see how it goes. IMO, any manager worth their salt will respect your wishes and be sympathetic.

[Deliaskis]

Agree it very much depends on the job and the manager, but I told my manager quite early, at about 8 weeks. I know some people prefer not to, but basically as a general rule, DH and I agreed that we would tell people who would also have to know if we did mc.

Have to say it was to me a relief to have one or two people know, as I felt more comfortable that people would know to do the right thing if anything happened health-wise at work, plus hiding symptoms etc. was tricky.

Each to their own though, in your situ I would tell one or two immediate colleagues/managers so they are aware of your situ. It might be that you can still do the trips but that when you arrive they help you to make sure you get a couple of hours sleep before starting to set up work things etc. (don't know your situ obviously but I just mean this as an example). I also think if it were me it would help to know that a couple of people knew from a medical standpoint if anything happened whilst os.

D

[Dandydog]

Hi I told my manager at 8w I think, mainly because of appnts & she kept it qt until after 12 w scan. I was scared to tell even tho she's really nice!

Re your trips, if you feel it's too much def tell your boss. As prev deliaskis said they should help you out; maybe getting more rest before & after flight, not expecting you to entertain clients or whatever in the evening. At least if you tell them you stand a chance of being cut a little slack if you feel you need it. Good luck with whatever you decide. Lx. Ps don't they need to know anyway re business travel insurance - a more practical note I know.

[yellowflowers]

I told mine after the 12 week scan. She then told other people - I'd already told them but she didn't know I had. So I would say don't say anything if you think they won;t keep mouth shut. However some travel insurance policies need to know you are pregnant so you are covered if anything happens while abroad (it counts as pre existing condition) so if you are travelling for work I would tell them for this reason and get them to check the business travel insurance policy).

[Sunshine28]

Hi Yellowflowers, that is a very good point about the whole travel insurance thing. I have annual insurance but am sure I will need to notify them before traelling next time. Think I am going to tell my boss in the next couple of weeks. This will be at the 8 or 9 week mark which is not ideal but prob the sensible thing to do :)

[frikadela]

I know people the vast majority of women prefer to tell people a bit later on it is actually a legal requirement to tell your workplace of any major health issues (pregnancy being one). This allows them to put in place risk assesments about which aspects of your job you may be unable to do in the same way as before like lifting heavy things.

It also helps them if anything happens to you whilst at work that may require an ambulance they are ready with the information.

Whomever you tell is breaking confidentiality if they tell other employees before you do.

[frikadela]

Just wanted to add that I'm not being preachy. Just letting you know the facts.

[Sunshine28]

Thanks ladies - some very good advice. I am going to mention it at the end of next week. I am sure my boss will be very
understanding.

I just can't help feeling a bit guilty as it is a very small company and they have put a lot of faith in me and given me a lot of responsiblity in a short time. Have only been with the company since December. Is it normal to feel guilty or am I just being ridiculous!!!