Help no 3 do I or don't I??

[shandybass]

Hi mumsnetters
I could really do with some help. I need to decide whether we go for a third child or not!! I have two lovely dd and all is well and content, but I'm wavering as to whether I would like a third and need to decide before it gets too late.

Dh is ambivalent, he say's its up to me as its mainly me who will be affected.

Any advice please??

[cece]

LOL at the 'it's only you who will be affected!'

I have three and it is wonderful with 3.

[kildare34]

Hi Shandybass, I am sort of in the same position of you. I have 2 great ds, they are age 7 and 4. My youngest is starting primary school in September. For years I have said to my DH that I am happy with 2 healthy boys, DH would have loved a 3rd but respected that at that time I was adament about not having a 3rd. I have mild PCOS and therefore it took a while to conceive both ds.

In the last few weeks I keep seeing babies and feeling broody! My DH wants me to think it through (which I will) I am nearly 36 and a SAHM since my ds2 was born. I don't know whether I am suffering from Empty Nest Syndrome or that I really do want a 3rd ? What age are you and your 2dd?

[LadySanders]

I have 3 - ds1 age 9, ds2 age 2 and now dd age 6 months.

i wavered over having a 2nd as by that point i had a 6 year old and a good job and a life outside home. but didn't waver at all over having 3rd (and final, i'm 37 and definitely done with it now!) and although its bloody hard work at the moment (2 wasn't much harder than 1, but i do find 3 a lot harder than 2) i am just so so glad we went for it.

[shandybass]

My two are 3.5 and 1 so they would be close but because of my age its either now or never, also I took a while to conceive with no 2.

[LadySanders]

just beware though, i took about 6 months to conceive no2 so started trying for no.3 earlier than my ideal time thinking it would take at least 6 months again... i was still breastfeeding, lovelife wasn't quite so rampant what with 1 year old ds2 etc.... and of course conceived within 2 weeks.... ideally i'd have had no2 out of nappies before no3 came along...

[cinnamongreyhound]

I am pregnant with my second due in 5 weeks and was really sad for sometime before I got pregnant because I was desperate for another and DH wanted to wait until we had some money behind us. He also has another DS from previous relationship and said he was happy with 2 children so would only have another one to make me happy.

I'm terrified that I will feel the same once this baby is bigger as I did when DS was 18months. I have always thought having 3 children would be lovely and although my stepson is with us about 1/3rd of the time it's not really the same. DH has said that there is no way he will have 4 children so I think you should go for it and be glad that your DH is happy to go with what you want. Sounds like a nice age gap to have between the 3 of them too. I might change my mind after this one arrives but I'm a childminder so used to having lots of kids around most of the time!

[shandybass]

Thank you, its so hard. I think one of the problems is the finances and with three I'm almost sure I'll have to give up my job which I don't really want to do. At the mo I'm lucky with the Gmothers helping but they only manage now together and with another one that really won't work.

And it would be nice but I'm not sure I could do the SAHM bit. I really like the balance of not being home full time now as it helps with my patience levels.

[teameric]

shandybass I just found out I was pg with no3 just over a week ago, I felt the same as you before though, I have an 11 year old DS and a 3 year old DD, I really didn't want to upset the balance but a huge part of me couldn't imagine never having another child so me and DH just decided to go for it! (I'm 35) I'm still a little scared about it all but oh well too late now! I say just go for it, 3 is the magic number

[naturalbaby]

i had resigned myself to only having 2 kids but am now pregnant with number 3 - unplanned. it took a few weeks to come to terms with it but it's made me realise that i really did always want 3 kids. i'm one of 3 kids so know it will be tough at times but i'm confident we'll manage financially - you cope with what you've got and 3 happy kids are more important to me than fancy holidays, clothes etc. i love having more than 1 sibling.