Midwife not very helpful?

[Palace39]

Hi all, this is my first baby and it could well be that i have expected too much from my midwife appointments but if i'm honest i don't feel very supported.

Basically all i've had is urine tests and the position of the baby and his heartbeat checked at each appointment. Not much 'talk' has occured, but i thought we would sit and discuss the birthplan together and about what feeding route i would like to go down etc. Most of the pages in my maternity notes are blank! I have brought up a few things, and been told to go to the doctors if concerned.

In the 5 appointments i have had, my midwife has been off sick 3 times and i have seen whoever is covering. She is now on long term sick and i will again be seeing whoever is available.

One of my main concerns is that at 36+3 i have put on 4 stone and am very nervous at how big the baby could possibly be. They said my weight has no bearing on the babys size, but no other comments. Can they not find a way of predicting his size/weight even roughly? I also have SPD and have just been told to write it on my notes so that someone can see it when i go into hospital.

I feel like i'm pretty much doing this on my own and have to get all my information from the internet. Is this normal?

[moaningminniewhingesagain]

I think the pregnancy book thing they give you covers the essentials.

They will normally be happy to discuss birth plan if you mention it. It is normal, I think, to feel they are not that interested - I think it's just such a massive and very important to you - your baby - that no one can possibly be as interested as you are

Size wise - if they thought it was too small, or too big, they would tell you. For labour, you being active and the baby's position usually means more than the weight of the baby.

And post any questions here, we are a nosy bunch

[Rafwife]

You have the right to ask for better care can't remember the name of the organisation for mw's will look it up.

I take it your scans all show normal and your FH etc. If so that is maybe why the mw is not concerned.

What was your weight before hand not exactly but under weight, normal, over. Weight gain is usually relative to what you eat, how much you exercise and how much you weighed before.

It's possible you may have a largeish baby but if your fundus was huge etc the mw would have got you in for a scan.

The 4st won't really be affected by the baby being a couple of pounds larger, it will be fluid, blood, fat stores etc.

[Palace39]

I have asked when we go through the birthplan and just got told to write what i wanted in my notes. I got a distinct 'we have other appointments' feel and went home feeling a bit sad!

I was 10st 7lb pre pregnancy (i'm 5 foot 9), now 14st 7lb. I've tried to be active but with SPD now it's difficult. I was measured at 34cms at 35+2. I've seen people mention 'growth scans', are these available to everyone? Can i request one?

[Rafwife]

They will only do growth scans if they think the baby is too big/small and your fundal height does not scream huge really, if your mw was concerned by this they would have given you a scan.

They won't just give growth scans out unless they really think there is a reason and they don't seem to think there is. Most of that 4st will be fluid/blood and fat stores in all honesty. It's not an indicator of how big the baby is really the MW is right there they use FH as a guide.

[Palace39]

Ok thank you, i hadn't heard of a growth scan until i saw someone mention it on another thread. Just another one of those things that i haven't been given the time of day to ask...

I'll see how the next appointment goes. I don't even know how many more there will be!

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

But why would they have mentioned growth scans to you? If you have a normal FH and fluid levels then there is no reason for you to need one.

I think you have to realise that the midwives don't have the time for each pregnant woman to chat through each and every concern/worry/neurosis.

In terms of appointments, I think you get them every 2 weeks in the final few weeks of a first pregnancy.

[Hevster]

Palace39 welcome to my world - my care was similar to yours with DD1 and I put on 4 1/2 stone with DD1 being 8lb8oz. My care isn't any better this time and so far I have seen 5 different mdwives, the last one being the most unhelpful to the point of being rude and insinuating that I make up my hyperemesis!
The one thing I am doing differently this time is instead of just assuming all will be well I am insisting that everything is written in my notes by whatever midwife I see which ensures that when I am in labour the midwives attending will have the full picture. It has been a struggle to even get this though, my GP has had to write letters to the midwife stating that I have hyperemesis and am signed off work etc

[MrsC2010]

They don't weigh you now (well, mine don't) because weight gain has no relationship to baby size, so is irrelevant. Growth scans won't be mentioned unless you are measuring big/small, which you aren't. Birth plans tend to be written by the mother, and you can ask questions/look up on internet/call unit for questions. It really doesn't sound like they are being unhelpful, just standard. Especially as so much information is now available to everyone.

[MrsC2010]

I've seen 5 different midwives, which doesn't bother me as there is no guarantee which I will have when I give birth anyway. I see it positively, chances are when I give birth I will have met the midwife at least once instead of her being a stranger!

[nagoo]

Last time 1 saw a different midwife every time, and in this pregancy I've only had 2 appointments and saw 2 diffferent ones.

You won't have 'your' midwife when you give birth anyway. I made my 'birth plan' such as it was from information I got at antenatal classes and looking things up in books.

They are obligated to tell you about breastfeeding from what I can tell, judging by the paraphanalia I've been given, but I found that the visits from the midwife at home after the birth were a lot more helpful and i saw the same one the whole time.

I agree it does sound like your experience is pretty standard. We're all here to answer questions and give you our experiences, so use MN!

[cinnamongreyhound]

As others have said you would only be offered a growth scan if there was concern over fundal height measurements.

The appointment times are very tight, although I agree you should get more time, and they are often running late so obviously do take longer with some women. I have been asked on several occasions if I have any questions but wouldn't have thought about going through birth plan to be honest. I don't agree that if you have concerns you should go to the GP. You should see a midwife every 2 weeks from now on so try to talk to a different one if you are seeing others.

When I had my first I went to the NHS antenatal classes and there were lots of opportunities there to talk to the midwife who ran it. This time I have to admit I like being able to pop in, have basic checks done and get out but then I don't like a lot of fuss.

My BMI was 35 at booking appointment and although I have since lost weight and not put anymore on I am frustrated for a different reason at not being weighed again at all in my pregnancy.

[midwifemuse]

I provide my daughter's and daughter-in laws antenatal care, so they do get continuity and plenty of reassurance, when required. However, they also get the facts in a bald-faced manner. If they put on 4 and half stone during their pregnancy, and I had ruled out diabetes, they would receive no sympathy but rather a 'talk' about weight gain and how 2 stone is the maximum a woman should gain if she wishes to remain and healthy and help avoid complications, like SPD. They would be informed, in an extremely direct manner, that any weight gain over this is down to them, not the size of the baby. They would also get a discussion about posture, excessive weight gain and poor posture may increase chances of it developing and it's severity
Growth scans are indicated if the fundal height 2cms off, up or down, on two consectutive occassions.
Guidelines are that all women should be weighed, and their BMI re-calculated, at 36 weeks as a high BMI requires an anaesthetic and possibly consultant referral.