when to tell dd who's off to school about new baby

[swampmonster]

I am currently 5 weeks pregnant with baby number 4 and unsure about when to tell my middle daughter who is off to school about the new family edition.I don't want to take the excitement from her about school away by stealing her thunder (my 10 week scan will be around beginning Sept when she starts school) I also don't want to send her off thinking that I have swapped her for a baby-dilema to tell before the school and have it out of the way or let her settle in for a few weeks and then tell her.(I don't think her concept of time is great in that when i do tell her I think that she will think that the baby is coming quite soon)Any great ideas welcome.Thank you.I am not worried about telling the older child or the baby as the eldest has quite a grown up attitude and the baby is still at home with me.It will be the pre-school child that is having the biggest change already to her life.

[thisisyesterday]

i would def wait as long as possible

[swampmonster]

do you mean wait until she starts school or not,just a bit before hand or not?Whats your reason if you don't mind me asking?

[thisisyesterday]

i would wait until after she starts school. partly because it's still early days and things could go wrong
partly because 9 months is a reeeeeeeeally long time and they get so excited and then nothing happens for ages and ages. it's just easier to leave it as long as possible IME!

plus, all the points you make about allowing her to settle at school are very valid

so let her start, get her settled in, get your scans done.... then announce at leisure

[FourEyesGood]

If you can, I think it's definitely a good idea to wait until you're at least past the 12/13 week point. It's horrible to have to even consider, but if you told her and then miscarried, it would be very difficult. Telling your DD mid/late-September, when she's been at school for a few weeks, won't be stealing her thunder at all. She'll probably be excited and want to tell her teacher and all of her new friends.

[MoonUnitAlpha]

I'd wait til after she's settled in at school too. By the end of your first trimester it'll be pretty "safe" to share the news and she'll have got over the newness of school.