How I was treated by Tesco for putting my son on the potty!

(280 Posts)
bubble30 Tue 10-Jul-12 20:34:14

My son turned 2 in May and we are mid potty training. Been in to places like Boots and M&S and got fold away potty out in store for my son to have a wee. I've also used it in Tesco with no complaints from them. This morning I went in and my son was crying 'wee wee'. Got him out of the buggy and put him on the potty - I wasn't in the middle of an aisle and went t clothes section where we'd be more hidden away as that section was close by to us. My son did a wee but come to get him back in the buggy and he had the most hideous tantrum. Once I got himm back in the buggy, I stood up to find 2 members of managerial staff stood over me. They told me that there was a toilet in the store where I should have taken my son to. I explained that he's just started potty training and when he needs a wee it has to be then and there and I don't have time to get him to a toilet. They told me they undestood that but that there was a toilet I should really have used. So again I explained that I don't have time to get him to the toilet. The woman then said 'it's not nice for our customers to see, it's not nice for your son and now you've just caused a big scene in the store'. I said 'well now you've made me feel absolutely rubbish' and they both walked off. I walked out of the store but thought 'no I'm not having that' and I went back and gave it to them both barrels that I was disgusted with the way I'd been treated, I'd been talked to very rudely and spoken to like I was a child myself. The senior manager came down and was very apologetic and I asked her of Tescos policy was that if there's a mother with a tantrumming child, do you train your staff to go over and tell the mother she's created a big scene in the store. She was very apologetic about the way I'd been treated. I'm still fuming. I've used the portable potty in other shops without complaints and I've seen other mums do the same in shops too - that's the whole purpose of the portable potty being invented. I just wanted people to know how badly Tesco have acted in this instance towards a mother potty training her 2 year old. Can anyone else recommend best places to post to make sure Tesco know I'm letting people know about this? Thanks.

VivaLeBeaver Tue 10-Jul-12 20:37:28

Mmm, sorry but I kind of see their point.

NervousAt20 Tue 10-Jul-12 20:38:08

I kind of see there point too!

mogandme Tue 10-Jul-12 20:38:45

I can see their point.

I speak as a nanny who has potty trained alot of children.

wishiwasonholiday Tue 10-Jul-12 20:39:18

I see their point too and to be honest if I saw your dc pooing or weeing near the food I was going to buy it would put me off buying it.

Why not rush to the loo when he says he needs to go and use the potty for out of the store.

Sirzy Tue 10-Jul-12 20:39:25

I am just potty training DS and I would never consider just getting a potty out in the middle of tesco that is rude and unhygienic - there is a time and a place for everything and the middle of a supermarket isn't the place to wee.

What did you do with the full potty afterwards?

Dropdeadfred Tue 10-Jul-12 20:39:48

Sorry but use pull ups if you can't wait to get to a toilet

newnetcurtains Tue 10-Jul-12 20:40:09

I've potty trained 3 children now and wouldn't even consider putting one of them on a potty in the middle of a shop. Quite frankly, people don't want to see it and what happens if the potty is knocked over. I don't understand why you didn't ask a member of staff if there was a toilet you could use, I think that you'd find that in most cases the shop staff are very helpful (and often mothers themselves).

BettySuarez Tue 10-Jul-12 20:40:41

I will probably get flamed for my less than sympathetic response here but I have never seen anyone allow their child to use a potty in the middle of a store, ever!

I'm sorry if you felt unfairly treated by the staff however but really don't think it is worth making a fuss over.

Good luck with the rest of the potty training though

seeker Tue 10-Jul-12 20:40:42

I nev thought I would hear myself saying anything in support of Tesco, but I'm on thief side!

MayaAngelCool Tue 10-Jul-12 20:40:43

Yup, sorry, I too think you're the one who's being unreasonable there, OP.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Tue 10-Jul-12 20:41:18

I see their point too, sorry.

drjohnsonscat Tue 10-Jul-12 20:41:23

It wouldn't occur to me to use one of those in a shop. I wd probably head for the door and find somewhere in the car park despite the weather! Sorry that's obviously not what you want to hear and to be fair I wasn't brave enough to try potty training at just turned 2. We're doing it at nearly three so probably a bit more controllable.

newnetcurtains Tue 10-Jul-12 20:41:25

Lots of posts while i was typing, I think you know the general view now.

Don't use it in shops - I can't believe you think this is a reasonable thing to do - it's not, it's really, really not.

Go to toilets, go out less until he is potty trained, piss against a tree if you have to but for the love of fuck pissing and pooing in the clothes section of Tesco is beyond minging.

firawla Tue 10-Jul-12 20:41:42

I can see their point too. If your dc really can't last long enough to make it to the toilets, maybe you are training him too early?
Perhaps try to make sure every shop you go in, you mentally check out where all the toilets are so as soon as he mentions it you can dash straight there, or take him to toilet first before looking round the shops, if he is not able to hold it for very long?

TheBuskersDog Tue 10-Jul-12 20:41:49

I agree with Viva, have never seen anyone get a potty out in the middle of a supermarket.

babyheaves Tue 10-Jul-12 20:42:03


I've potty trained two and never, ever took a potty out in a shop.

Laurarj84 Tue 10-Jul-12 20:42:06

Whaaaaaat!!!! That's a terrible experience, I'm so sorry. I too am in the middle of potty training with a portable potty and have done exactly what you've done in numerous shops. I would have been so embarrassed if staff/managers said that to me. I'm sorry I don't know where you should go to make this more visible but you have my full sympathy.

GreyGardens Tue 10-Jul-12 20:42:13

I agree with Tesco.

ShirleyKnot Tue 10-Jul-12 20:42:22

I would have to side with Tesco.

mogandme Tue 10-Jul-12 20:42:23

I can't imagine you would be more than 3 minutes run from a toilet in Tesco.

Anypointinseeingdoc Tue 10-Jul-12 20:42:33

Tesco is a food shop. We had one of those foldaway potties but we only used it by the roadside on long trips, never in a shop.

CurrySpice Tue 10-Jul-12 20:42:36

Sorry but YABU. I totally agree with Sirzy. I think they handled you quite calmly, with valid points.

susiemumof Tue 10-Jul-12 20:42:40

Never heard such rubbish in all my life!

No way have you seen other people doing this as well as you?

You sound completely barking

I don't blame them.

mumnosbest Tue 10-Jul-12 20:43:02

Why not use pull ups. Teach ds he has to wait while you rush to the toilet. He needs to learn bladder control too.

HecateHarshPants Tue 10-Jul-12 20:43:15

I agree with dropdead. Pullups.

It is nasty to put your child on a potty in the middle of a shop. yuk. just... yuk.

When potty training a child, you are teaching them to get to a toilet! It is far more reasonable to rush them to the loo in store, wearing their pull ups - and if they don't make it they don't make it. It isn't reasonable to put them on a potty and have them take a wee in the middle of ruddy tesco, honestly it's not.

Sidge Tue 10-Jul-12 20:43:18

That's grim.

I wouldn't wee in the middle of Tesco so I don't see why it's OK for a child to do so - if he can't hold on long enough to run to the toilet then put him in a nappy when you're out.

What are you going to do - carry a potty full of wee or poo through a supermarket?

GoldenGreen Tue 10-Jul-12 20:43:23

The woman was factually correct in what she said to you. It isn't nice, and you said yourself that you went in and gave them both barrels, which sounds like you made a scene. Definitely with Tesco on this.

MrsCampbellBlack Tue 10-Jul-12 20:43:47

Like Seeker loathe as I am to side with tescos I have to in this instance.

BettySuarez Tue 10-Jul-12 20:43:56

lauruefairycake grin

IwishIwasmoreorganised Tue 10-Jul-12 20:44:07

Sorry but YABU.

I have potty trained our 2 ds's and have never used a potty in a shop.

I would be pretty disgusted if I saw somebody doing what you did, and I would have words with them myself.

The timing of the staff speaking to you was unfortunate, but that really wasn't their fault.

MrsMuddyPuddles Tue 10-Jul-12 20:44:34

I see their point, too, though there are 2 seperate issues.

1. You need to not have your son wee where other people are buying their food. In your own kitchen, fine whatever, it's your food, but people are funny about bodily wastes in most this country... If this means that he wets himself, then he wets himself and you have to change him.

2. The tantrum. Them saying "you have caused a big scene" was VVU.

That said, they probably would have pointed out the loo ANYWAY as the only reason they would have stood over you is if someone had complained.

Pozzled Tue 10-Jul-12 20:45:07

I think that if a child can't wait a minute or two to get to a toilet, then either they should still be at home, or they shouldn't be potty training at all. Most books I've read recommend not going out for the first few days.

I wouldn't mind seeing a child using a potty outside, but it's not very nice to see it in a shop.

newlark Tue 10-Jul-12 20:45:18

I'm sure Tesco would rather you use the portable potty rather than have a puddle of wee on the floor. Having said that, I avoided shops when dd was at this stage of potty training or tried to ensure she had just been - it is quite a short period of time when you need to use the portable potty there and then to avoid an accident on the floor and I always tried to leave the store and find a quiet corner outdoors for the portable potty if there wasn't a loo available in the store. Very rude of the staff though!

Rubirosa Tue 10-Jul-12 20:45:21

I have never seen someone put a child on a potty in the middle of a shop!

I'm sorry but they were right, it's grim and no one else wants to see it. Take your child to the toilet in future, or use pull-ups when out.

MotionOfTheOcean Tue 10-Jul-12 20:45:48

Sorry OP but are you taking the pissgrin

catinboots Tue 10-Jul-12 20:45:51


ShirleyKnot Tue 10-Jul-12 20:46:24

And just turned 2 is quite little for PT I think. (I can't remember but I'm sure I left my boys until they were 2.5 at least!)

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

littleducks Tue 10-Jul-12 20:46:49

Like everyone else I think you should have dashed to the toilet, once there I think it is acceptable to jump the queue or even use (shock) the disabled toilet really quickly if other cubicles are filled. It is not acceptable to use a potty on the shop floor.

I have trained lots of 2yr olds and would suggest you get him to try and go when you arrive at a new place (ue before starting a big shop)

topknob Tue 10-Jul-12 20:46:51

I am going to ask you why you are potty training at just turned 2??? Why not wait til they are able to hold it a bit longer and use pull ups !

Woofsaidtheladybird Tue 10-Jul-12 20:46:56

I agree. I have potty trained my DD recently. I actually stayed in and bit the bullet (yes I went mad, but still) and either shopped online or luckily I have a DH who got the groceries. IF we went out, I made her wee just as we were leaving and then wee when we got there, and always know where the toilets are. I wouldn't appreciate someone whipping out a portable potty in a supermarket, even if you did hide near the clothes. And if you had time to hide near the clothes, why not find the time to get to the loo? AND during all your flouncing to and from the store, what WAS happening to the wee in the potty? Swishing all over the place? Yuck!

WicketyPitch Tue 10-Jul-12 20:47:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PedanticPanda Tue 10-Jul-12 20:48:02

I completely see their point, yabu.

Melindaaa Tue 10-Jul-12 20:48:21

Letting a child pee in the middle of a shop is disgusting. YWBU. I have potty trained 4 children and have never needed to do that.

trixymalixy Tue 10-Jul-12 20:48:45

Ewwwwwww. YABU. They were totally in the right.

CurrySpice Tue 10-Jul-12 20:48:49

I have a feeling we may not see the OP again

BabsJansen Tue 10-Jul-12 20:48:57

Entitled parenting.

I expect you would let them use the potty in a restaurant too?

Not nice and if I had seen you I would have said so.

Pumpster Tue 10-Jul-12 20:49:09


FrankWippery Tue 10-Jul-12 20:49:51

Who on earth puts their child on a potty in the middle of a shop? If potty training is taking such a while that you need a potty wherever you go I'd imagine your child isn't ready for it.

Jux Tue 10-Jul-12 20:49:58

I would dash dd to the loos as we didn't have a folding potty.

I hate Tesco, but on this occasion, they do have a point. I don't think I know anyone who would be happy to see a child having a wee in the middle of a shop, let alone even think of doing that with their own children.

wigglesrock Tue 10-Jul-12 20:49:58

How or where do you empty the potty? I've never seen a child use a potty actually in the shop and I've got 3. What would have happened if someone had tripped over/emptied the potty - would you have cleaned it up?

I've brought a potty with me and used it in the actual toilets, they are portable for this reason. To use in the car, in the toilets, outside etc not to use in the actual shop.

LegoAcupuncture Tue 10-Jul-12 20:50:03

Thats grim, really. I agree with Tesco.

You shuld have at least taken him to the baby section, amongst the nappeis and wipes wink

Poledra Tue 10-Jul-12 20:50:15

I'm with Tesco on this one - I do not want toddlers weeing in the middle of the supermarket. And I speak as someone whose DH has done a sprint to make Usain Bolt proud with a small child tucked under his arm to get to the toilet in time.

zzzzz Tue 10-Jul-12 20:50:20

In the toilets or in the car park NOT in a shop.shock

thebetachimp Tue 10-Jul-12 20:50:33

This reminds me of the time I saw a woman change her baby's nappy on a table in Nando's.

EverybodysDoeEyed Tue 10-Jul-12 20:50:40

i loved the portable potty

BUT we stayed at home for the first few days and we only went out once I was confident he could give me a bit of warning. It was always enough to find the toilets/duck behind a tree etc

I would never get the porta potty out in a shop. If he gives you so little notice he is not ready

to those wondering what happens to the wee - the porta potty has a bag with absorbent pad. you tie it up and lob it in the back of the buggy for disposal at earliest convenience!

Herrena Tue 10-Jul-12 20:50:45

I've never seen anyone do this and it sounds pretty unpleasant for the rest of the world to have to view TBH.

MunumMunum Tue 10-Jul-12 20:51:06


Herrena Tue 10-Jul-12 20:51:15

thebetachimp shock

MadameOvary Tue 10-Jul-12 20:51:26

Why would you take potty training out of the house confused

HomeEcoGnomist Tue 10-Jul-12 20:51:56

You surely aren't trying to train your DS just to wee wherever he happens to be?
It's clearly too soon for him, leave him for a few more months. And ditch the revolting portable potty, not necessary

A phrase i never though I'd be writing: Tesco managers were right

mogandme Tue 10-Jul-12 20:52:00

I potty trained current charge (am a nanny) at 2 years 3 months, and he was dry within 2 weeks - we also continued to go out and about as I felt I would effectively have to potty train him twice as he wouldn't be used to asking or would get fixated on toys/playing and forget to say.

So I disagree with :
He's too young
You shouldn't go out and about

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kormachameleon Tue 10-Jul-12 20:52:27

Yes you should post this all over the interwebz so people can see how fucking loopy you are

Seriously though how self entitled. You are not the only person in the world with a 2 year old, you are not the first person to potty train a 2 year old and no one wants to see that 2 year old pissing in the aisles of a supermarket

I have never seen anyone doing this and If I did I would be straight over to tell them exactly how scummy they are

DeepPurple Tue 10-Jul-12 20:52:32

I agree with Tesco. Use the toilet or use the potty outside. I'm speaking as a mother who has just potty trained my DD.

Haemadoots Tue 10-Jul-12 20:52:37

Sorry but I have never had to get dd's to pee in a shop aisle, use a pull up as others have suggested if he can't wait, can totally see tescos's point though.

MadameOvary Tue 10-Jul-12 20:52:51

I mean, if your child wasn't ready to go and couldn't hold it in, shoudn't they still be in pull-ups?

Boggler Tue 10-Jul-12 20:52:59

I'm with tesco 100%

I think letting your son wee in the middle of a shop whatever they are selling is gross. Portable potties are for out and about but not for in shops, where's your common sense what would you have done if your son had knocked it over - wee all over the floor, customers slipping and sliding in wee! If your son's potty training is at such a delicate stage that he can't hang on you shouldn't be attempting to take him into big shops - or if you do make your first stop the toilet before you start.


Vagaceratops Tue 10-Jul-12 20:53:23


Mama1980 Tue 10-Jul-12 20:53:30

I'm sorry but i agree with tescos here-I have never seen this and would never do it. If your son cannot wait 2 minutes then he should be in pull ups or isn't ready IMO. I potty trained my ds at 2.6 and never
Used a porta potty. However I do think tescos should not have spoken to you like that and I hope the rest of potty training goes smoothly.

DeepPurple Tue 10-Jul-12 20:53:35

thebetachimp shock

rainbowinthesky Tue 10-Jul-12 20:54:02

shock I cannot believe anyone would this acceptable. I have never ever seen this. I am glad they took a stand. I would hate to see this whilst shopping.

MadameOvary Tue 10-Jul-12 20:54:14

FFS I cant write today to save myself.

LST Tue 10-Jul-12 20:55:24

I can't believe you thought you were in the right OP.

FartBlossom Tue 10-Jul-12 20:55:39

At the risk of this post being deleted Are you for real? You really think that it should be ok to let your child use a potty anywhere? hmm

IsabelleRinging Tue 10-Jul-12 20:55:59

So when toddler does a big pile of stinking poo, you have to carry it through the shop to the loo!!! YUK! and the shop will stink!

dontcallmehon Tue 10-Jul-12 20:56:05

I wouldn't dream of doing this, it would be quite off putting as a customer, so I can see their point. Hygiene is obviously going to be a primary consideration for a store which serves food and also has a large number of customers who may be offended by the potty. I know toddlers need to go quickly, but I don't think I would resort to using a fold up potty in the middle of a supermarket.

Abandoning the shopping and running to the nearest convenience might not sound a favourable option, nevertheless it is the one I'd have taken.

worriedwretch Tue 10-Jul-12 20:56:27

If I had stumbled upon this incident in one of tescos main competitive stores im afraid I would have asked you to leave.

Potty training is some thing as parents that we all do, an ld we tend to take time to do it at home etc. I wouldn't expect to let my own child have a wee amongst the shelves in ANY STORE

ValiumQueen Tue 10-Jul-12 20:56:37

So what did you do with the wee? Surely you would have to take that to the toilet?


EduStudent Tue 10-Jul-12 20:56:49

shock An entire thread on Tescos side!

But yes, grim grim grim.

worriedwretch Tue 10-Jul-12 20:57:42

Oh I should add, I work in one of Tescos main competitors and I would have asked you to leave instantly.

That's what I should have said before.

MrClaypole Tue 10-Jul-12 20:57:46

Grim. Tesco were right to speak to you about this.

When DS stopped wearing nappies I would put him on the supermarket toilet at the start of the shopping and put him on the toilet at the end of the shopping.
If he asked to wee in the middle of the trip we'd leave the trolley where it was and rush to the toilet again. Or I would have used the portable potty in the car park.

VivaLeBeaver Tue 10-Jul-12 20:57:55

I missed the bit that he'd just turned 2.

Sounds like he isn't ready for potty training. If he was he'd be able to hold it for a couple of minutes to get to the loo. If he isn't able to give you enough warning he isn't ready. Bar the odd accident and obviously these are more frequent in the first couple of weeks of training.

But in the first couple of weeks of training you really need to stay in more. It's boring, etc but we've all had to do it. Apart from to places that don't matter as much such as the park. Get your shopping ordered online. I've never had to use a portable potty, certainly not in a shop. Wouldn't have crossed my mind. Never seen anyone else use one.

I'd be shocked if I did and I'd find it a bit gross.

poshbird1 Tue 10-Jul-12 20:58:24

god, we're all so stuck up in this country. it's just a WEE!!!!!!

it's better that than having a puddle on the floor.

yes you can run them to the loo. but in the end, it's just a wee! don't know what the big deal is about.

Marne Tue 10-Jul-12 20:59:09

I have never seen anyone using a potty in Tesco (have seen plent of children wet themselves but that is part of learning to wait and judging when you need to go). Why not just grab the child and potty and run outside with it (would only take 1 minute to get out)? If a child can not wait one minute then surely they should be in a pull up? i kept mine in pull ups when out until they could tell me 5 minutes before they really needed to go.

5madthings Tue 10-Jul-12 20:59:16

sorry but that is just grim op, if your ds cant hold on for 2 mins whilst you find your way to the toilet then he isnt ready to be potty trained or be out and about when doing it.

i will let mine wee against a tree etc if necessary but to use a potty in the middle of a supermarket is RANK!

emsyj Tue 10-Jul-12 20:59:28

You were in the wrong and however much you bring this to people's attention, seemingly with the hope of single-handedly destroying the mighty empire of Tesco via internet outrage, most people so far seem to agree that you were completely in the wrong so you're unlikely to succeed with that.

YABU. Urgh.

Sirzy Tue 10-Jul-12 20:59:29

I don't think I have ever seen a thread on MN with such unanimous agreement that the OP was wrong!

Can you imagine what an obstacle course would be if everyone started letting their potty training children stop and wee wherever they were?

You asked the manager about the policy about tantruming child policy, maybe you should have asked about the child pissing in the aisle policy.

If I had been shopping I would have complained about you.

I had a travel potty for my kids, we would use it if they were caught short on a long car journey. It was lined with a bag, did you carry a bag of piss around Tesco.shock

Maybe the travel potty should come with a use common sense when using tag.

You pick your child up and run to the loo in this situation.

Still at least you gave all the staff a good laugh.

ajandjjmum Tue 10-Jul-12 20:59:47

Seriously inconsiderate.

OP - Please come back and tell us how you emptied the potty in Tesco and all the other stores your DC 'performed' in.

Another one on tesco's side here. I guess it's easy to lose perspective on parenting sometimes, but you do need to consider other people when you're out.

If he isn't ready to wait until you find a loo in the supermarket, which is probably a maximum of two minutes away even in a really big shop, then he needs another couple of days in the house, or a pull up on until he is.

ellenjames Tue 10-Jul-12 21:00:32

for once i agree with tesco! that is just lazy parenting.

EverybodysDoeEyed Tue 10-Jul-12 21:01:09


Sorry to shout but wanted to explain that a porta potty has a bag with absorbent pad and you can tie it up so no spillage risk and smell is contained!

Still shouldn't be done in a shop though. Yes they were invented to enable you to go out and about but they should be used discreetly and hygienically

nearlythereyet Tue 10-Jul-12 21:01:15

I started potty training my DD 6 weeks ago at 23 months and we've never had to even consider a situation like this. Every time we go to the supermarket, the first point of call is the toilets. I used a trainer seat the first week, but soon discovered we were fine with me just holding her over the toilet. We have not had any accidents in public using this approach and i only carry a potty when going somewhere without any toilets. I think Tesco have a point, even if the staff could have been more polite. Better planning might have avoided all the aggro. sad

MotionOfTheOcean Tue 10-Jul-12 21:02:29

I have visions of the OP pushing her buggy with on hand,potty in the other to the toilets,which in the case of my Tesco are at the far side of the restaurant,wonder how much wee would be left in the potty by the time she got there.

BettySuarez Tue 10-Jul-12 21:02:43

OP you have clearly not had quite the response you were hoping for but do come back and talk to us some more.

It is easy to feel a huge sense of injustice at times, particularly where children are concerned. smile

Have the responses to the thread helped you to feel differently about this now?

GrahamTribe Tue 10-Jul-12 21:03:25

Ah, Tescos, toilet. So easily confused.

Let me explain the difference, OP.

A supermarket is for shopping in. And Tescos sells food.

A toilet is for pissing in.

See? It's easy once you've lost that massive sense of entitlement, isn't it?
And yes, I've also managed to toilet train (not potty train, my DC have never ever used a potty) my children without allowing them to use a supermarket as a washroom.

Figgygal Tue 10-Jul-12 21:03:41

How on earth is that toilet training him? If he can just drop trousers and "go" wherever he is then he may as well still be in nappy/pull ups.

You should have used the toilet it was a supermarket for christs sake .......very wrong



Its a food shop - the staff were probably having kittens

nearlythereyet Tue 10-Jul-12 21:04:06

And Y, Y to staying home until you are sure they can hold it for a while/give advance notice. And if that doesn't happen if the first week or two, the child is perhaps not ready.

Gunznroses Tue 10-Jul-12 21:04:33

OP, ds said he wanted to wee, wee! so you, "took him to the clothes section where you would be more hidden away" shock

what if he had stood up and wee'd on the clothes ? what if he had decided to do a poo ? would you have taken him to the clothes section to be hidden too shock gobsmacked!

seriously you should have asked him if he wanted to do a wee as soon as you entered the store, so you could visit the toilet first, then you keep asking him every so often as you know he might need a wee, NEVER EVER put a potty down in the middle of a store.

First post bubble 30?

Loshad Tue 10-Jul-12 21:04:41

How vile, have potty trained four children, from 2y and 3 months and never felt the need to do this. Hate tesco's with a passion and it sticks in my craw to say it but they were in the right.
Also if you had time to go to the clothing section then why not time to make it to the loo?

nickschick Tue 10-Jul-12 21:04:56

Potty training is just that,training to recognise the need to wee the anticippation that you can wee and being in the right place to wee .....instantly providing the potty when the child wants to wee isnt training it is facilitating weeing outside of a nappy -tbh it would be fairer to his development to keep him in nappies rather than train him in this 'stepped' way.

I think your approach is very wrong.

Jux Tue 10-Jul-12 21:05:49

Oh no! A whole thread and only two people speaking out against Tesco - op and one other.

What if everyone taught their children to piss (and poo) amongst the aisles? It really is a ridiculous idea that this is in any way acceptable.

Bubble, I'm not sure I'll ever get over being on Tesco's side!

LynetteScavo Tue 10-Jul-12 21:06:43

You need to stay at home for a week, sort out the potty training, then take him out. If he needs a wee in a shop find a toilet. I once did a dash from one end of Tescos to the other with DS1, leaving checkout with a weeks shop needing to be bagged up. Everyone was very understanding.

I never took a potty out with me, apart from on a long car journey.

PrettyCherryTrees Tue 10-Jul-12 21:06:49

I should start by saying that I am a BIG fan of the Potette and it's saved my bacon a number of times but in parks/by the roadside/down alley ways never, never in a shop. shock

I toilet trained both my 2 yo twins at the same time and I never ever needed to do this. Thankfully I've never seen anyone else do this either.

The Tescos managers were right. YABU.

Blu Tue 10-Jul-12 21:06:58

Is this some kind of reverse psychology viral marketing campaign by Tesco? Subtley getting us all on their side or something?

Viviennemary Tue 10-Jul-12 21:08:03

For once Tesco's were absolutely right. A potty in the middle of a shop. I don't think that's what toilet training means.

ChasedByBees Tue 10-Jul-12 21:08:47

Yuk, that's disgusting. How unhygenic.

Add another in for Tesco, I'm a bit cross in typing that but, I am starting to feel sorry for the OP now. I think she has the message, if she is still reading.

Groovee Tue 10-Jul-12 21:09:02

I knew a nursery nurse turned childminder who thought this was acceptable. I still think she was barking and she got directed to the toilets in tesco too. They have cleaners who can be called to clear up a child wetting themselves.

My dd was dry the day she asked for her potty and could hold it until we got to a toilet. Ds was dry in 3 days and could also wait.

OhBuggerandArse Tue 10-Jul-12 21:09:44

While we're on the topic (sort of), I was in town today and saw a fifty something woman sitting on the shop window sill of Millets with her pants down, peeing all over the pavement. Broad daylight, and she didn't look drunk or anything - quite respectable, in fact, apart from the no pants/pee aspect. That was definitely unreasonable.

Woofsaidtheladybird Tue 10-Jul-12 21:09:59

I wonder if the DM will run a story next week on 'woman lets child wee behind the cucumbers in Sainsburys'......

Eek - I think outside in the fresh air is one thing but 20 seconds away from a loo is just lazy on your part. You do need to teach him to hang on and if he can't then he's too young tbh. Jut turned 2 is very young I think.

Prettycherry, I have twins and this is probably the next thing. How do you manage the two at the same time, I'm dreading one saying I need the loo and legging it with one under each arm to the toilets?

Noqontrol Tue 10-Jul-12 21:11:27

I couldnt imagine getting a potty out in tescos. I understand your dc cant wait but getting a potty out on the shop floor? Thats Just Wrong! Sorry. I used a pull up when i was out with dd for the first week, and after that i rushed her over to the toilets. They generally can wait a little longer than you think they can, although you do just have to grab your bag and run. If you cant bear to use a pull up or run to the toilet, then online shopping is a useful resource.

WandaDoff Tue 10-Jul-12 21:12:26

I'm with Tesco on this one.

^There's something I never thought I'd write.

Frontpaw Tue 10-Jul-12 21:12:41

She's having a laugh. I hope.

cakeismysaviour Tue 10-Jul-12 21:13:01

You sound like hard work, OP.

Never thought I would side with Tesco on anything. I think they treated you very fairly and you were a complete nightmare.

debs39 Tue 10-Jul-12 21:13:24

Potty training is about training us as carers to train them how to use the toilet whenever in vicinity of toilet use it as an opportunity to take them to it..sorry if u feel this is an unreasonable suggestion...

VivaLeBeaver Tue 10-Jul-12 21:14:00

If you could have walked to the clothes section, you could have walked to the loo. If he didn't make it and had an accident he'd have learnt a lesson that next time he needs to ask sooner.

Can you imagine the smell if everyone thought this was acceptable. It would stink of piss, with the odd shit chucked in the mix.

SaraBellumHertz Tue 10-Jul-12 21:14:26


Although not quite as grim as the woman who every week at gym club allowed her child to shit in a potty in the viewing area and then carry the potty downstairs through THE CAFE to empty it in the toilet.

Entitled doesn't begin to cover it

TeaOneSugar Tue 10-Jul-12 21:14:33

Is he your first?

CillaSlack Tue 10-Jul-12 21:15:27

Is Op a watered-down poo troll ?

mumnosbest Tue 10-Jul-12 21:15:31

As i said earlier use pull ups but im surprised so many think 2 is too young. Ds was dry at 2.2. Dd at 2 . However if they cant hold it then perhaps that child is not ready

TalkinPeace2 Tue 10-Jul-12 21:15:40

Another one who hates to say it but I totally support Tesco.

Lizzabadger Tue 10-Jul-12 21:15:51

Yuck. You can't be serious.

Would you like it if a stranger's kid sat down and did a poo on your kitchen while you were preparing food?

EverybodysDoeEyed Tue 10-Jul-12 21:16:17

Sara - that is truly gross

How about a packed tube train in rush hour a few years back - woman pulls down her pants and does the worlds biggest wee. At the next stop the train is taken out of service so it can be cleaned. lots of unhappy commuters!

crumpet Tue 10-Jul-12 21:16:30

OP is winding us up. No-one normal would do this in a shop.

nearlythereyet Tue 10-Jul-12 21:16:33

Trying - definitely pre-empt it. Do the first week or two at home until you suss their abilities and patterns. Then always take them to the loos before getting in the car, when you arrive at destination (shop), before you leave again and on return home. That way, if they do ask while you are in the middle of something, you'll know they are neither desperate nor "full" if they have been within the last half hour. You can make it fun. "Let's go and see what the toilets here are like" etc etc. just be wary of freaking them out by using a public toilet hand drier blush

GrahamTribe Tue 10-Jul-12 21:17:46

I've been giving some thought to that using the potty in the middle of a store isn't a one-off for the OP and her son. The OP says she's let her child use a potty in Tescos before this incident and let him use it "in placeS like Boots and M&S".

Now, either that's a child with a very weak bladder or he's taking an worryingly long time to train or the OP's a woman who does an awful, awful lot of shopping. maddiemostmerry, what do you make of it?

I managed to toilet train three boys without a porta potty. There is no way I would have put them on the potty in the middle of Tesco - even hidden amongst the clothes. And if you had time to get there, you probably had time to get to the loos.

I would be disgusted if I saw a child on the potty in the middle of a shop, but not disgusted at all if the child had an accident - because the first would be a deliberate decision by an adult, to put the child on the potty, and the second would be, well, an accident.

Part of potty training is the child learning to wait, and go in the right place - something your child will not learn if you whip the potty out wherever you happen to be.

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Tue 10-Jul-12 21:19:07

The OP does have a couple of supporters, both who seem to have been around for a while, but I'm another one on Tesco's side. Portapotties are great but we only ever used them outside or in toilets.

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte Tue 10-Jul-12 21:19:09

Er, yucky. I have no problem with seeing toddlers using potties in parks or on pavements... but in a supermarket, around the food: I'd rather not. I mean, I deal with my own kids and their poo and wee all day long, but smelling someone else's would put me right off my frozen peas...

I support Tesco too. As others have said, there's a first time for everything.

I have never seen a potty being used in a shop either.

Nearly, thanks DS1 didn't the Dyson blades in one place and refused to go to the toilets, I don't think he had a wee in five hours he hated them so much.

PrettyCherryTrees Tue 10-Jul-12 21:20:18

trying I was dreading it but actually it was ok. There was an element of competition between the two of them that helped a bit.

I had a really big basket of spare clothes downstairs and I fid seven changes (each child) the first day, five each the next, three the golloeing day and then they were pretty much dry barring wee accidents.

Lots of my friends trained straight to the toilet but as they always needed to go at the same time we had two chair type potties just by loo door which made it easier.

Make sure you have a back pack with spare clithes for when you are out (also a hand bag is hard to carry when you are running with one under each arm!). As someone else up thread said I always took them to the loo before leaving anywhere and as soon as we arrived anywhere which hel

Quip Tue 10-Jul-12 21:20:50

<cat's bum face> it'd never happen in Waitrose grin

PrettyCherryTrees Tue 10-Jul-12 21:20:53

^ helped.

Good luck trying !!!!

FartBlossom Tue 10-Jul-12 21:20:56

Thats a good point graham also the part about I've seen other mums do the same in shops too makes it all sound totally normal behaviour.

tasmaniandevilchaser Tue 10-Jul-12 21:21:16

I don't think people are getting that THE WEE IS IN A BAG - sorry to shout but it's in a bag with an absorbent pad in it so you just tie up the bag and it's all contained. I think you're all a bit hysterical.

I've used the portapotty loads and personally if given the choice between wee all over the floor and wee in a bag, I'd go for wee in a bag.

That said, I've always taken DD outside to use the portapotty. Or gone to the loo as soon as we arrived and left places.

Not that my strategy always worked as once she went to the loo leaving the cafe and then proceeded to let forth a tsunami of wee in the next shop we went into, among all the low hanging clothes. We are not talking about just wet clothes but a HUGE puddle of wee on the floor. I still go hot with shame at the memory of it. Luckily it was tiled floors.

For all those whose children were toilet trained within 30 seconds of taking the nappy off and never ever had an accident or got caught short, have a biscuit.

Oops missed out a * like * in that sentence

ClaimedByMe Tue 10-Jul-12 21:22:13

I'm with tesco, both my dc trained themselves just after turning 2 and unless we were going on a long journey never took a potty, never had any accidents and just ewwwwwww at letting them wee in the clothes section of a supermarket!!

PrettyCherryTrees Tue 10-Jul-12 21:22:51

Apologies everyone for the dreadful typos - clucked post instead of preview again blush

Pretty, thanks also.

MrsFogi Tue 10-Jul-12 21:23:49

This has to be a joke? If not, yabt&uu - wear pull ups when out if you can't manage to avoid this sort of behaviour.

tasmaniandevilchaser Tue 10-Jul-12 21:24:23

her own clothes were wet, not the shop clothes, just to clarify!

FartBlossom Tue 10-Jul-12 21:24:38

I dont think it matters that THE WEE IS IN A BAG, its still weeing a totally unappropriate place. There's a reason why most public places have toilets where they do, they are generally discreet and out of the way. Also there have been some very good points raised regarding its not really training if a potty is whipped out on demand and it is all about waiting the extra couple of minutes to get to a toilet.

Crumpet - I think we have to conclude that the OP - or her social compass at any rate - is NOT 'normal'.

I wish people would stop mentioning the bag thing. That's a red herring. The child was still be encouraged to think weeing in shop was fine AND where was he going to wash his hands afterwards? It's no wonder so many adult men think it's absolutely fine to wee where ever they happen to be if they can't be arsed to walk to a loo.

<<adjusts twinset>>

FartBlossom Tue 10-Jul-12 21:26:43

but northern dont you understand its in a bag so its all alright wink

Pickles77 Tue 10-Jul-12 21:27:29

Is this a joke?

EverybodysDoeEyed Tue 10-Jul-12 21:27:39

the bag is relevant to those wondering how she disposed of the wee without spilling it

i didn't leave the house with ds until i was confident that he could hold it in long enough to find a toilet or appropriate place for the potty (not a shop floor!!). I don't think they are ready if there is so much panic when he shouts he needs a wee!

Blu Tue 10-Jul-12 21:28:24

Actually, I am coming round to the OP's pov.

How many times have you been bursting while out shopping? Public toilets closed, miles away or have a huge queue?

I think we should all make sure we take one of these with us when we venture out You could even use one on the bus if very desperate.

CotedePablo Tue 10-Jul-12 21:28:59

I agree with the great majority of the posters on this thread. However, can I point out that it's not terribly fair on your child for him to grow up thinking it's acceptable to do something like this in public. You really are pretty messed up with your idea of toilet training. Pop the little lad back in pull ups for going out for a little while, and let him become dry at home before you try to get him dry outside.

TheEnthusiasticTroll Tue 10-Jul-12 21:29:54

just cant get worked up over this if Im honest, a bit of an odd way to approach toilet training, but seriously did it really take 2 jobs worth employees to ridicule in such a way. a quiet polite word from personce once you had conatined your ds and his wee would have been quite sufficiant as far as im concerned. At to the employee who said she would have asked you to leave, BONKERS..on what grounds should she leave.

I have seen someone put their dd on a portable potty in the middle of a charity shop in lynmington before I was a bit hmm but no other feelings of disgust enetered me, it was a child having a wee, no biggy.

Graham, I think this is a very strange first post. I also cannot imagine M&S allowing someone to whip out the potty in the aisles.

Blu Tue 10-Jul-12 21:30:44

Also, it is SO annoying when people come past you in the row in the cinema to go to the loo - and if you go when the film is showing you always miss a good bit. Why not use one of these in the cinema?

This seems like normal behaviour.

At least you were kind of considerate by using the porta potty. confused

I remember someone letting their little darling crap in a normal regular potty that was stored in the basket of the pushchair.

I was then expected to carry said potty and its contents up the staff stairs and empty it into our staff toilet.
They only got the polite version of "fuck off" because I valued my job.

TheEnthusiasticTroll Tue 10-Jul-12 21:32:41

personce should be One person in my post, for some reason my screen is not refreshing as I type, so cant see if I back space.

FellatioNelson Tue 10-Jul-12 21:34:18

I have potty trained three children and I cannot ever remember an incident where I was forced to put them on a potty in the middle of a shop. confused

What the hell did you do with the wee?

What would you have done if he decided halfway through to do a poo?

I think you should have made more effort to get to the loos. If your son is not at the stage where he be relied upon to hang on for two minutes then you should have put some pull-ups on him for a shopping trip.

FamiliesShareGerms Tue 10-Jul-12 21:34:19

This is beyond yuck.

OP - if your DS is not able to pop around Tesco (or Boots or M&S) without either getting to the loo in time or being able to hold until you get home, you aren't actually potty training him, you are letting him wee in a potty rather than a nappy. If he isn't ready, wait a month or so then try again. No shame in it, 2 is quite young (DS was nearer three than two, just wasn't ready before then cracked it in a week).

And if I come across anyone using a portable potty in a shop aisle it will be me creating the scene about how gross this is...

FellatioNelson Tue 10-Jul-12 21:35:33

Oh ok, I see a porta-potty holds the wee. I don't think such a thing existed when mine were little.

Sirzy Tue 10-Jul-12 21:38:36

Enthusiastictroll from what the OP has written the staff where polite to her, informed her there was a toilet and she should have used that. It was the OP who seemed set on creating a scene even from her own explanation of what happened that sees obvious

I think if it were me if she's wise, the op has nc and is in amongst us practising her sock puppetry skills grin.

hmm. grin

BettySuarez Tue 10-Jul-12 21:40:01

theenthusiastictroll no way did anyone do this in Lymington?

Must have been one of those dreadful tourist types wink (can't imagine the Lymington Set ever entertaining the idea) grin

missmapp Tue 10-Jul-12 21:40:20

Part of potty training is learning to hold on until you reach the toilet- for the first few days of training, you stay home and go mad then you venture out with a toilet in close sight and masses of changes of clothes. You are not helping your child by letting them think it is okay to wee wherever you need to !!

LolaAnn Tue 10-Jul-12 21:40:35

I think YABU. I can see a foldable potty being useful for a long car trip, other than that not so much. I'm potty training my 2 year 1 month old son and have never had to do anything like this. TBH if we were at that stage I'd be doing my tesco shop online, I can see why they are complaining it is a definite, definite health and safety hazard doing that in the middle of a store. Would you change his nappy on the floor there?

rhetorician Tue 10-Jul-12 21:40:42

I think a change of pants and trousers would have been quite sufficient...

bubble30 Tue 10-Jul-12 21:41:36

Thanks for your replies and I take your points on board and I certainly won't be getting the potty out again in a store. I've made a huge mistake thinking it was ok to do it. However, I am shocked at susiemumof being so vial to another mum.

perfumedlife Tue 10-Jul-12 21:42:21


It's not toilet training if you're training him to pee anywhere, anytime.

I trained ds on his second birthday, took a week and we stuck around at our caravan until it was done mostly. He had one accident a few months later, in M&S at the frozen food isle, it was the cold air I think grin I had no warning and was mortified as I couldn't do anything other than alert a manager and ask for paper towels etc. They were very good about it, it was an accident. Deliberate toileting is another matter.

BarbaraWoodlouseAspiringHooker Tue 10-Jul-12 21:42:22

Those porta potties are brilliant in many ways. We still keep ours in the back of the car for long journeys where there might be a layby but no facilities - for 5 yr old DD not for me though I have been sorely tempted on occasion grin

Unfortunately they do seem to lead to people thinking that the done thing with potty training is to let DC go there and then, wherever the "there" might be. As others say above, if they can't make it to a toilet, they really aren't potty trained yet.

Reminds me of the otherwise lovely couple who sat their son on a potty in the National Trust cafe then proceeded to eat their meal next to a parcelled up bag of wee. Put me right off my overpriced scone [boak]

FartBlossom Tue 10-Jul-12 21:42:33

FellatioNelson I didnt think such a thing exsisted when I was toilet training and Ive not finished yet (have 3 DC's youngest 9month), are they worth getting then? Im thinking not.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Tue 10-Jul-12 21:42:37

I am about to PT DC 5.
Never took a potty out with me with any of the others, will not be taking one with DC5.
You have to be prepared for a few accidents, take spare clothes with you, plan your trips a bit more carefully for a few weeks and wait until the child is ready before starting.

TBH I dont think I have used a potty at all after DD. They seem a bit of a waste of time (unless you have a DC who is scared of the big loo).

It seems a bit counter productive to take a potty and just whip it out in the middle of a shop. Its not really toilet training is it? Its like taking a big round, plastic nappy out with you.

TheEnthusiasticTroll Tue 10-Jul-12 21:43:41

grin. i swear to bloody god they did. Im pretty surev they where local too..posh bastrads think they can just piss where ever they like.

VivaLeBeaver Tue 10-Jul-12 21:45:13

Good on you for taking it on board.

EverybodysDoeEyed Tue 10-Jul-12 21:45:17

OP - well done for coming back and taking the comments in good spirits!

(not sure what susie said)

AKE2012 Tue 10-Jul-12 21:45:18

Its called 'toilet' training for a reason. You teach your child to use the toilet. Its not called 'let your child wee where it wants' training.

What about adults with bladder problems, is it ok for them to go in the middle of a shop coz they cant hold it in?

Can not believe tesco actually got it right for once hmm

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Tue 10-Jul-12 21:46:14

OP, have a wine for coming back and taking everyone's comments on board. Not many people handle a first flaming that gracefully.

Welcome to Mumsnet.

TalkinPeace2 Tue 10-Jul-12 21:47:11

Well done to OP for coming back

and whatever else you learn from this, you found a way to unite Mumsnet in favour of Tesco - which HAS to be a first (and hopefully) last


Springforward Tue 10-Jul-12 21:47:44

Hate to say it but I kind of agree with tesco here, but then I also object to potties whipped out in cafes and play barns too....

FamiliesShareGerms Tue 10-Jul-12 21:48:33

YY what TalkinPeace2 said!

Glad you have seen sense.

Letting a child use the potty in the middle of a shop is wrong on so many levels, not just hygiene, but in terms of boundaries and privacy issues too.

BettySuarez Tue 10-Jul-12 21:50:14

Seriously well done OP for coming back smile just chalk this one up to experience grin

stressheaderic Tue 10-Jul-12 21:52:26

And thanks for posting regardless, I'm potty training my DD (age 2.6) at the moment and I've picked up quite a few tips from this thread!

MarzipanAnimal Tue 10-Jul-12 21:53:13

I'm impressed you came and posted again OP. I think I would have logged off and hidden under my duvet after that flaming!

Port a potties are handy. We had one and used it twice. Once whilst stuck in a traffic jam on the way from JFK to Connecticut. Bladder of iron boy wouldn't go on the plane/immigration/car hire rental place. No. He had to go once we were stuck on the car after a "rest stop"! He still has a bladder of iron now. shame I don't

The other was in London. Next to a fountain. The one opposite Buckingham Palace! grinblush

We still have it for ds2.

The handiest thing we ever had was the folding loo seat thing. We still have that too. grin

worriedwretch Tue 10-Jul-12 21:56:59

smile an OP with grace. Cool.

I think those potty things are essentially a good idea. Much like a shee-pee thing though. You wouldn't want me whipping one of those out in the dairy aisle would you ;)

They let you she pee in Lidl. One of the main reasons I go there.

GrassIsntGreener Tue 10-Jul-12 22:05:42

The porta potty is fab we love it too.

Never used it in a shop though. Like other we waited a couple of days to make sure dd was okay to give at least 30 second warning, then we'd make a big game of run run run to the toilets (I'd grab her pick her up and leg it lol).

If a child can't give a little warning they're my ready to be out in public. I don't agree with pull ups and such things so for us it was all or nothing. Dd was 2 1/2.

Gunznroses Tue 10-Jul-12 22:05:59

Well done OP! you just need to anticipate when he might need a pee and ask him before he asks you, easier said than done i know, but it works.....most of the time smile

princelypurpleparrot Tue 10-Jul-12 22:06:15

I'm going to go against the grain he but I did get my potette out in the supermarket a couple of weeks ago blush. As we entered I asked DS if he needed the loo, he said he did, do we walked over to the loo ( there's only one in a single room) and there was a long queue. So I huddled him into the corner, nowhere near any food / staff/ shoppers, blocked the view with the pram, and he had a wee. Surely that was better than the inevitable puddle on the floor? And there is nowhere discrete outside the shop either as it's on a busy high st ( with no public loos, of course)

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Tue 10-Jul-12 22:06:48

I wonder if Mario's DH ever peed in Asda?

bubble30 Tue 10-Jul-12 22:15:53

Thank you for being so nice to me when I came back and I have never had so many replies to a post before. The porta potty has been ditched. I never thought of it that I'm not teaching him to wait and learn bladder control. At least I've got to know people on here even if it's not been for the right reasons. Hope you'll take my word for it that I'm not a nutcase. Lots of love and lots of laugh x

ValiumQueen Tue 10-Jul-12 22:17:56

I think sales of that potty will go up because of this. Stick it on eBay! Also impressed with your grace.

perfumedlife Tue 10-Jul-12 22:18:54

Good on you bubble wine I don't even see the point in regular potty's, to me it's adding another stage for kids to learn then unlearn.

perfumedlife Tue 10-Jul-12 22:19:21

Potties blush

Dawndonna Tue 10-Jul-12 22:21:26

It's a food shop.
People have managed for thousands of years without portable potties and for quite a few hundred without their children having accidents in shops.
ffs, stay at home for a week. A portable potty is not so your kid can poo or pee in a food shop.

hmc Tue 10-Jul-12 22:26:50

Good on you bubble!

BettySuarez Tue 10-Jul-12 22:28:35

Good for you bubble smile why not come and join us on some of the other threads?

SugarBatty Tue 10-Jul-12 22:28:45

How do you empty this potty thing?! Do you have to carry it somewhere to empty it? It sounds like one of those pointless fad products aimed at anxious parents like those baby wipe warming machines! I agree with tesco. Next time drop your basket or abanndon your trolly and run to the loo. As a shopper I'd rather push an abandoned trolley out the way to get to a clothes rail than a potty of wee.

EnjoyResponsibly Tue 10-Jul-12 22:33:01

A couple at the table next to me, DS and DH did exactly this in a restaurant.

I'm a gobby mare, but it rendered me utterly speechless.


BarbaraWoodlouseAspiringHooker Tue 10-Jul-12 22:35:38

Great stuff bubble, very graciously handled smile

sugarbatty the, erm, emissions, are soaked up into a pad and then tied up in a bag. Stupidly expensive for what they are but for emergency, no toilet, situations they are great. Not faddy at all IME though definitely not essential.

Hopefully you haven't ditched it completely, just removed it from your shopping trolley grin

EnjoyResponsibly Tue 10-Jul-12 22:36:23

Apols OP, good on ya for ditching the portapot and good luck with the training. Hope you can go back to Tesco head high smile

GrassIsntGreener Tue 10-Jul-12 22:44:38

Don't ditch it totally. Absolutely fab for car trips and beach days!

SugarBatty Tue 10-Jul-12 22:47:58

Thanks barbara, I had visions of op marching through tesco to the toilets carrying a potty of wee! And good on you op! grin

VivaLeBeaver Tue 10-Jul-12 22:49:03

Bubble, I think we all do things without thinking at times, especially when stressed about potty training.

I confess when dd was just about trained I walked through town to the park with a normal potty in a carrier bag for park emergencies. Saw a nice top in TopShop window so thought I'd pop in and try it on. I'm half naked in the changing room when dd announces she wants a wee. In blind panic I put her on the potty. And then equally panicked I pulled her off again! I have no idea what I'd have done with the wee if she had done anything in it! I think we made it to a nearby loo in the end.

bubble30 Tue 10-Jul-12 22:52:30

Feeling a bit less embarassed and ashamed now - just about! Going to go to bed and stick my head into fifty shades of grey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CotedePablo Tue 10-Jul-12 22:55:08

Well done bubble for taking criticism so gracefully! And well done for taking on board some of the suggestions made on this thread.

Mumsnet at its best.

TheEnthusiasticTroll Tue 10-Jul-12 22:55:10

and now im judging you op for reading that pile of pish grin

Well done for coming back op, have a wine and don't stress, we have all done silly thingssmile
I have whipped the potty out at various outdoor locations but defo not in a shop!
I am never one to agree with tescos, this is an absolute 1stgrin.

MyDogShitsMoney Tue 10-Jul-12 23:02:21

Just read this in one go.

Hands down, the funniest I've read in a good while grin

Good on you for taking it on the chin op. You've got balls i'll give you that.

Welcome to MN, I've a feeling you'll fit right in!

An enormous wine for bubble30 - not many people get such a flaming and are so good about it!

I'll be honest and say that I was massively lazy about potty training - DS didn't wee on the potty until his third birthday and DD potty trained herself before she was 2 - I said to her 'If you do need a wee, you know you can use the potty if you want to' and that was it. She has the bladder of a camel, I swear.

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Tue 10-Jul-12 23:11:44

I'm almost tempted to nominate this for Classics as a shining example of how to come through a baptism of fire.

And it's not even in AIBU!

LeeCoakley Tue 10-Jul-12 23:20:24

Now an apologetic email to the store and everything will be all right with the world.

Flooded Tue 10-Jul-12 23:28:47

op you have replied before I could say I'm in Tesco's side. Also I don't think they should gave apologised to you either. I hate the "customer is always right" let's apologise so they don't sue. Good luck with the potty training

jellybeans Tue 10-Jul-12 23:33:53

I wouldn't have done it with my 5 DC. I put then in pull ups for outings until they were able to hold it in for a minute while we found a loo. We also went to the loo at the start of a shopping trip. I think most people would find it abit grim and what if the wee or poo gets spilled etc.

PenguinFeet1 Tue 10-Jul-12 23:50:37

How were you planning to wash your hands? Or is that not part of potty training?

mumnosbest Tue 10-Jul-12 23:55:34

Well done bubble for coming back smile

I love the porta potty. When our builders ripped our bathroom out both me and ds used dds (not at same time and i hovered). They are super absorbent!

pourmeanotherglass Wed 11-Jul-12 00:06:34

I don't think portapotties were invented when I trained mine - I can't imagine using one in a shop, I'd have been too embarrased - However, we did have one or 2 accidents in shops - I potty trained late (they didn't seem ready, but I needed them out of nappies to start pre-school at age 3) and it wasn't a quick process. Pull-ups don't really help - they just wee in them and don't care and it gives mixed messages about whether they need to rush to a loo or not. Some people on this thread seem to have perfect children that 'got it' within a week, but it isn't like that for everyone.

PorkyandBess Wed 11-Jul-12 00:11:02

Haven't read whole thread, but I think they were in the right.

You can't just piss in the middle of the shop!

Part of potty training is learning to hold on.

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Wed 11-Jul-12 00:18:24

For all the recent critics who haven't read the thread:

Bubble30 had a thorough flaming and accepted it with immense grace & good humour. She took all the comments on board, has apologised and stated that she will never use a portapotty in a shop again.

So be nice to her. Coming back & responding must have taken a lot of guts.

ThatVikRinA22 Wed 11-Jul-12 00:21:05

i got a porta potty and was disappointed to never have used it with either of mine.

i wouldnt ditch it all together - keep if for emergency usage in the car or trips out - but i wouldnt use it in a shop

never mind op - learning curve there! well done for coming back.

MeDented Wed 11-Jul-12 00:37:44

We went on a works family day out once to large park with perfectly lovely public toilets and colleague's wife sat her dd on a potty on their picnic blanket right in the middle of everyone else's picnic blankets whilst everyone eating, then proceeded to talk to DD very loudly, praising her for using the potty and looking round to check everyone was watching and suitably impressed! Boak!

2MumsAreBetterThan1 Wed 11-Jul-12 01:03:55

Agree with everyone else that Tesco were right (for the first time ever) but huge well done for handling your flaming so well.

Most people either don't come back or simply come back to argue that the whole world is wrong for not agreeing.

Think it's 2 mumsnet firsts, a OP with grace and Tesco being defended.

Maryz Wed 11-Jul-12 01:13:31


1. Are you new

2. You are being disingenuous

3. I am reporting this thread because it is a load of bollocks

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Wed 11-Jul-12 01:16:05

No Maryz!

Read my message upthread. Bubble's all right. She's going to be one of us.

bubble30 Wed 11-Jul-12 01:37:59

Well you've all got to know me sort of in the wrong way. Can't sleep. I'm going thru PND and feel like crap. How do you get thru post natal depression? How come other people cope so well and I'm falling apart on a daily basis x

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Wed 11-Jul-12 01:45:20

they don't, honestly. it's all a big fib. have you any help with your PND? LOVING your response on this thread, bubble, good on you!

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Wed 11-Jul-12 01:49:09
hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Wed 11-Jul-12 08:01:46

Bubble-hats off to you for being so gracious in your flaming. PND is a bugger but you can get through it. What help are you getting in real life, do you have any support?

Pickles77 Wed 11-Jul-12 08:22:43

bubble seriously, stay on mumsnet. I have no experience of PND but I do depression and the ladies on MN give some great advice and

Frontpaw Wed 11-Jul-12 08:42:21

Bubbles - this is how we cope!
MN gets you through a lot of crap! Sometimes you will get jumped on for a comment and feel kike hiding, but otherwise its a great place for advice, sympathy, a chat or good old laugh.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GoldenGreen Wed 11-Jul-12 09:56:35

You have been very gracious, Bubbles. Hope you get the help you need with PND. Unfortunately there are lots of MNers about with experience of it but if you need support, you can find it in abundance here x

AKE2012 Wed 11-Jul-12 10:02:01

Bubbles i had PND. I can tell u now that ul get thru it. Seeing th gp and talking always help. Im a single parent with a 8yr old. If i can get thru it so can u. smile

Badvoc Wed 11-Jul-12 10:03:51


ClaireBunting Wed 11-Jul-12 10:04:59

It's pretty disgusting to have open urinating in a shop.

It doesn't sound like this child is ready for toilet training. Use pull-ups would be my recommendation.

galletti Wed 11-Jul-12 10:05:26

I'm with Tesco on this one. I used one of those portable potties, but never used it in a shop.

Badvoc Wed 11-Jul-12 10:05:37


There are some great threads on here re: PND.

I had it myself with ds1 (wasnt on MN back in those days) and it was hellish.

I hope you get some support and advice x

YoulllaughAboutItOneDay Wed 11-Jul-12 10:06:50

Well done for being so gracious and revising your opinion OP. I would second the view that it doesn't sound like your DS is ready for potty training if you are having long periods of having to wee that very second. When we did DD1 I stayed home for a few days to start with, but then she could definitely hold for long enough to get to a toilet. We didn't use a porta potty at all after the first week - and only then for places like parks where there can be quite a wait for a toilet.

Do get help for the PND. It is a chemical imbalance. That means that all sorts of medications can be very helpful - or if there are other issues the doctor is the starting point for help in other ways.

bubble30 Wed 11-Jul-12 10:09:17

I feel better today mainly because I did Slimming World a while back and lost a stone but put 9lb back on so been trying to shift weight again recently and when I got on scales I've lost 4lb of the 9lb I put on. I've also been on the phone to APNI who are always good to have a cry down the phone to. I can't find the place to go to post about PND on here tho x

bubble30 Wed 11-Jul-12 10:09:34

Oh just found it - mental health I'm assuming x

wibblywobbler Wed 11-Jul-12 10:12:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wibblywobbler Wed 11-Jul-12 10:14:04

oh gosh sorry, that will teach me to read and reply on the fly. How bad do I feel now. Sorry bubble I've just seen the other posts

quietlysuggests Wed 11-Jul-12 10:17:52

Bubbles for Mayor!
Well done you for being so gracious and brave.
PND needs bravery resilience and a sense of humour and I sense you have all those things in spades even if they are buried a bit deep at the moment.
Get some support here, maybe try a thread looking for support, I know if I spot Bubbles30 then I'll think now theres a cool chick, I'll pop over and say hello.

quietlysuggests Wed 11-Jul-12 10:19:58

You can go to Mental Health or to Chat or relationships or parenting, depending on which aspect you want to talk about, or what mood you are in, or I dunno really. Chat and relationships probably higher traffic.

Well done on the weight loss thats amazing.

mumnosbest Wed 11-Jul-12 10:22:48

Glad you're feeling a bit better today smile

I think conclusions have been drawn to this discussion. No more need for opinions or 'telling offs'. Bubble listened and responded.
Pleeeeaaaase read the whole thread or at least the last few comments before judging!

Raspberrytorte Wed 11-Jul-12 12:40:22

I agree with Tescos and I am currently potty training (still). I make my DS go to the toilet at the start of the shop (in first couple of weeks I took the potty with me too). I keep the portable potty ready to go in the back of the car and if we had to I would abandon the trolley and dash for the car or the toilet....which ever closest. Surely it's confusing him more to think that he can just go anywhere rather than learn to tell you with a little bit of notice. My DS had an accident at the leisure centre in the first couple of weeks and they were very kind and understanding, arrived with a mop and bucket and my DS learnt from this.

Raspberrytorte Wed 11-Jul-12 12:41:36

Sorry Bubble just read more of the thread. Hugs

stleger Wed 11-Jul-12 13:10:23

Bubble, I was a potty carrier for a good while, but we used it 'in a private place'. But... I did have a dd (she is almost 19 now) who had a quick wee in the 'show toilet' in a DIY place when we weren't concentrating. So far be it from me to speak out!

FrankWippery Wed 11-Jul-12 13:53:36

Bubble you are absolutely brilliant for taking the responses with such fantastic humour and grace. I'm so sorry to read that you are suffering with PND, I hope that you find the love and support here to be as great as it has been and is with so many on MN.

In my post yesterday I absolutely sided with Tesco on this, and I do, but also I suggested that he may not be ready if you are having to rely on stop immediately training IYSWIM. Set aside a few days and master it at home. I found with my four that when they were ready it was 2-3 days max. With my one DS the first time I tried training, by the 4th day it was clear he just wasn't ready to 'get' it, so I left it a month or so and then it was 2 days all sorted.

Good luck with everything. What a great sport!

We LOVE people who can take a good flaming with grace and a pleasant attitude.

I think you are a much liked member here already!

I got through pnd through exercise. And by help of a supportive husband who literally dragged me out of the house and on a bike. A shiny new bike he bought me in Halfords. I had not been on a bike for years.

We brought the baby monitor out on the green in front of our house, after dark, and dh ran next to me holding the bike steady as I wobbled on.

The weight started coming off, and my mood lifted by fresh air and exercise.

nearlythereyet Wed 11-Jul-12 14:37:26

Bubble well done for coming back and taking it all on board. I had PND too. Definitely see your GP and get some meds if they think it necessary. They are amazing! And stick around here. For a "nest of vipers" these women don't half provide a lot of support and friendship.

mumeeee Mon 16-Jul-12 13:04:33

YABVU Tesco was right. Putting a child on a potty in a middle of the store is not a good thing to do. They had a toilet so you could have taken your DS there or taken him outside. You said you found a quiet place in clothing so presumably you didn't put him on the potty as soon as he asked. I have 3 DDs and when they were toddlers I used to carry the potty around with me. I was relaxed about putting them in it when they needed to go but would never put them on in a middle of a shop.

nearlythereyet Mon 16-Jul-12 13:23:33

Guess you haven't read the whole thread mumeeee, or at least the last page. hmm

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Mon 16-Jul-12 13:49:08

Another one who just reads the first post. YABVU Mumeeee.

drjohnsonscat Mon 16-Jul-12 13:52:10

bubble you are v cool. I can't take criticism at all - get stroppy and horrible. Note to self - be better at stepping down when wrong!

Hope you get some help on the PND - and welcome!

mumeeee Mon 16-Jul-12 15:03:19

Sorry bubble I was just going to apolagise to you when my ipod went dead. I should have indeed read all the replies and usually ( well mostly).do but for some reason didn't today. Bubbles I apolagise again and of couse YANBVU now but I am for my last post. Glad you are feling better and you are a great Mum.

zebedeethezebra Tue 24-Jul-12 17:01:51

Tesco's should not have been so rude to you.

They could have handled it better, but I still do not think that the clothing aisle in any supermarket is a suitable place to put a child on the potty. I think it is pretty nasty, actually.

Plus, as has already been said, it is better toilet training for the child to learn to wait for the few moments it takes to get to the toilet.

Isitme1 Tue 24-Jul-12 20:33:42

Pnd is horrible!!
I had it for a while but never admitted it until last year.
A.ds helped me cope (took them for a month) and then I just realised I have to snap out of it and be the mum I was meant to be.

It takes a while to realise that.
I do hope you have a loving family who can support you along the way

maples Tue 24-Jul-12 20:37:43

Good on you op smile

I think we've all had our parenting horror moments of being really pfb. I let my Dc go through a friend's chest of drawers recently blush he's only just learned to do it and I hadn't thought that he was invading her privacy blushblush

maples Tue 24-Jul-12 20:38:23

Very sorry to hear about the Pnd too - hope you feel better soon.


BettyTurnip Tue 24-Jul-12 21:02:40

Hope you feel better soon Bubbles, and you get some support from others on here re the PND.

If we're sharing cringey moments, then I still squirm in embarrassment at the memory of me changing my pfb's shitty, rotten, stinking nappy on the floor of my friend's dining room where about fifteen people were eating a buffet lunch.

Seven years on, and two further children later, I still don't know what I was thinking and I never did anything like that again.

SmileItsSunny Wed 25-Jul-12 22:13:04

Well done Bubbles, it was brave to come back! FWIW I would probably have considered getting the portapotty out; but am a little stressed by 6 weeks of potty training...I would have found it difficult to run to the toilets with toddler and one year old. DH just read this thread over my shoulder, and instantly said he'd put our DD on a potty in Tesco.

Having read all the replies, however, I'm surprised at the level of outrage; but will certainly take on board some of those points for myself. More 'toilet' training, less 'potty' training. Although I think we're going back to nappies for DD for a month or so now.

Welcome to Mumsnet. Good luck with the PND, I hope you have real life support.

ThePathanKhansWitch Wed 25-Jul-12 22:20:34

It's just a bit of Pish. My standards are obviously quite low hmm. But I really don't see what was so awful about a very small child having a wee in the supermarket. Now a big steaming dump.....grin

Well done for taking your shoeing like a true MN. And I hope you start to feel better soon.

Mena1 Fri 27-Jul-12 11:28:11

I'm totally with Tesco on this.

Thats just plain disgusting! seriously??? A supermarket? I would have complained to staff if i saw your dc pissing in tesco. Good grief they sell food for gods sake.

minceorotherwise Fri 27-Jul-12 11:35:01

Ooh a poster taking a flaming with grace. I think mumsnet wings are well and truly earned

Dinamit Sun 29-Jul-12 21:45:53

God people, why are you so harsh and judgemental?

If the OP judged her son not to be able to hold in until reaching the loo, what was she to do?

I certainly don't think this should be standard practice, but I also don't think the woman deserves to have her head bitten off, and I do think Tesco staff were insensitive about the situation, telling her that "she had caused a scene" by placing her little one on a foldaway potty. She did move somewhere more discreet AWAY from the food isles.

I had a foldaways potty too, with disposable bags, and took my son to the toilet regularly when out. However, once we got caught out in GAP, where there are absolutely no toilets, and I did exactly the same thing; we found a secluded corner for DS to do a week. I then sealed the bag, quickly folded the potty and carried on. Wouldn't it have been more of a scene if the wet himself in the middle of the store?

I am amazed how ready women are to crucify one another...

Just my 2 cents...

ophelia275 Mon 06-Aug-12 14:15:06

Sorry but I think this is unreasonable. The world does not revolve around you child. If he cannot wait until you take him to the toilet and set the potty up there, then perhaps he is not ready for potty training. And it is unhygenic to just set up a potty at random in the middle of a shop. Yuk.

EmpressOfTheSevenFlames Mon 06-Aug-12 19:37:43

Read the last couple of pages, Ophelia. Bubbles has had a thorough flaming and accepted it with immense grace and good humour. She accepted that SWBU so don't have a go at her.

perceptionreality Sat 11-Aug-12 13:16:33

Glad to see this thread ended well. I think it was reasonable to be upset that they told you off for your ds having a tantrum though - tantrums are a separate issue.

tetherendtoo Thu 23-Aug-12 09:31:36

just saw this post and good for you at getting your cherub to actually ask to go wee. who cares where it is . my dd asked in the middle of clarks shoe shop as older ds was being fitted for school shoes! i whipped out the full size potty (she hates the portable one ) and when other mums were glaring i calmly wiped her bottom, wrapped the whole lot in kitchen roll and poly bag, gave her a huge hug and went back to the shoe fitting. the assistant didn't bat an eyelid thanks to her. tesco, asda, whatever- needs must and it can be done hygenically as long as you are prepared. just ignore those with faces that look like a dog's bottom.

Angelik Tue 25-Sep-12 21:02:08

Ignore all the bloody 'I stayed at home until my chidren went to uni' martyrs. You did the best you could. I'd rather see a little one using a potty than weeing on the floor. All children are different and learn at different rates and all children have times when they've just got to go. Likewise not all mums can 'run' to the nearest loos. I hope you haven't felt down by some of these comments. I hope the training is going well. You've nothing to reproach yourself for.

terror4Atoddler Wed 26-Sep-12 19:23:47

Are you people crazy! i dont see any problem with that, when a toddler has togo their is no holding it, and frankly thats unhealthy. i have a 2yr 9month we carry the portable potty everywhere, if a toilet is not available then i will find a suitable place to the side and crouch round her. i haven't personally used it in a shop YET, but some of those tesco stores are huge and a distance to the toilet. i know lets let a toddler make a puddle on the floor because thats sooooo much more hygenic!

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