"i'm not ready" says my son

[BeLove]

My son will be 3 in June and insists he is not ready to use the potty or loo. Occasionlly, if I offer a reward, he might use the potty for a poo, but mostly he insists on doing it in his nappy. Maybe he's after the attention he gets when I change his nappy. Otherwise he is fairly independent.
I have a 11month old baby girl too. Any thoughts?

[Rosebud05]

I do understand how frustrating this situation is, but I would sit it out, continue offering reminders/incentives and wait for the day that he decides that he doesn't want to wear nappies anymore and doesn't look back. My dd was 2.10 (so 'late' for a girl, though she also had a younger sibling) when she informed me that she wanted to wear big girl knickies, cracked it in a day and, 4 months down the line, has had barely a handful of accidents.
You're so nearly there, honestly!

[colditz]

Buy some VERY appealing cartoon pants.

put them in his drawer 'for when you are a big boy and you want to do wees on your potty'

[rookiemater]

Just keep asking the question, maybe try nappy free time at home with jogging bottoms, but try not to stress as it most likely means that once he decides it is the right time then it will be completely painless for you.

[onepieceoflollipop]

Yes, like colditz suggests do some low key preparations, such as buying very lovely pants.

Perhaps after that a trip to choose a fab potty/loo seat.

If he is the type to love stickers, maybe let him catch you buying stickers/making a chart etc.

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

My DS was older, but when he did similar I just had no more nappies, full stop. Warn him, tell him what's going to happen (if he can really understand) "these are your new pants" etc. etc., or better yet get him to pick some of his own and then no more nappies.

[BeLove]

thanks all for your suggestions and support. I like Colditz idea of buying special big boy pants and casually putting in his drawer for when he is 'ready' is an excellent idea. Fortunately his teachers at pre school dont mind at all.

[girlywhirly]

Try not talking to him when you change him, and make it as quick as possible. You don't want to make it enjoyable if he is doing it for attention. What about sitting the baby on a potty at the same time as he is, so that he doesn't feel singled out. You could start a routine of potty after meals, and put the nappy on between times to get him used to the idea, eventually something will land in the pot and you can make much fuss of him. (And also of dd if she does something too!) Sometimes a low key start to training works well.

[BeLove]

Putting the baby girl on the potty at the same time is a hilarious and fantastic idea! good thinking girlywhirly. I did a bit of no nappy wearing with the boy today, didnt go so well ... I turned my back for a moment and he had weeed all over the sofa. he thought this was very funny. hey ho, we'll get there in the end. I'm just hoping he'll be like Rosebud's DD and suddenly crack it on his own.

[whomovedmychocolate]

DD just potty trained - she's three and a half. She refused point blank before she did. Then she did it in a week. Try not to worry, they do get there if you don't make an issue of it.