DS wees and poos in his pants - I have no idea how to move on.

[Writerwannabe83]

I'm feeling a little stressed about toilet training DS as we don't seem to be making any progress.

He's 2yr 9m and for the last six months he has been weeing on the potty reliably but only if he is nappyless/pantless.

He has never had a poo on the potty and will instead hold it in until I pop a nappy on him but I believe that to be quite normal.

DS doesn't particularly like wearing pants purely because he prefers being naked. He will let me put them on though but despite me explaining it to him many times that if he needs a wee he needs to pull his pants down and wee on the potty he just doesn't seem to understand.

He will sometimes sit on the potty with his pants still up and wee with them on, or he will just randomly wee in them as though he were wearing a nappy. On a few occasions he's had a poo in his pants because he doesn't seem to understand they aren't a nappy.

We tried pull-ups on a few occasions but I found them pretty pointless as he would use them exactly like he's use a nappy.

I'm feeling so disheartened by it. The majority of my friends have children the same age as DS, and younger, and they are all toilet trained so I don't understand what I'm doing wrong.

We have tried on about three occasions in the last few months to make the transition to pants but we've had to abandon it because he just doesn't seem to get it.

It's really getting me down.

DS went through three pairs of pants this afternoon in the space of a couple of hours because he kept weeing in them.

I just don't know where to go from here

All advice welcome.

[sotiredbutworthit]

My son is 3.5 and has only just got it! We have a motto "dry pants mean stamps". Every time he has a wee on the potty with dry pants he gets a stamp on his chart. 15 stamps means a reward (a little toy car). He soon got the hang of it. Failing that maybe just leave it for a while. He might not be ready just yet. Talk about it to him lots and try not to show your frustration (which is difficult!). He will get it eventually. Xx

[GlitterGlue]

He doesn't sound ready. I'd give yourself a break and stick him back in nappies full time for a while.

[PotteringAlong]

Stick him back in nappies. He's still quite young to be toilet trained.

[dontpokethebear]

Sorry, going to have to agree with the others. He doesn't sound ready. Get some pull ups, but just relax things a bit.

[Scaffleen]

It takes time. I started potty training when he was two which was too early for him. He finally got it at 3 and it took a matter of weeks for him to finally get it! He will get there eventually just in his own time.

[Writerwannabe83]

We have tried putting him back in nappies but he hates them and gets really upset about it. As soon as he feels the sensation to have a wee he will simply take his trousers off and pull his nappy off and go on a mad hunt for the potty. On the one occasion I hid the potty really well he simply took himself off to the toilet and did his best to wee in the bowl instead.

If we're out and about and he has a wee or poo in his nappy he gets upset about it, tells me he needs his nappy changing and will start trying to take his trousers and nappy off.

That's why I feel so frustrated because in lots of ways he does seem ready to be trained but he just doesn't understand that pants aren't to be used like nappies.

[happy2bhomely]

I have 5 dc and they all self trained between 2.10 and 3.3. They all went straight to the toilet, skipping the potty .

The dc that did it at 3.3 just kicked off her nappy one morning and got on the toilet. She then asked for knickers to put on and was dry day and night from that day.

We didn't make a big deal of it. Any accidents were cleaned up without fuss and we offered them the choice of nappy or knickers from about 2.5.
Maybe your little one is just not ready yet.

[Fartleks]

He's not ready.

[RedLemonade]

Hmmm.

How would no pants and no nappy go? Say if he were just wearing loose shorts or light baggy trousers for a bit (so not having that "enclosed" feeling that both pants and nappies give) before progressing to underpants?

Then move in with the pants after a few weeks?

[RedLemonade]

BTW I do agree with the PPs that he doesn't sound ready yet but if he hates the nappies that's a bit of an issue too!

[MoreProseccoNow]

Would he agree to character pull-ups? My DD would wear Peppa ones & my DS Lightning McQueen. They were not called nappies, we called them training/learning pants & emphasised that they were very grown up.

[purpleshortcake]

Mine didn't "get it" til about 3.5. We carried on sitting them in a potty when naked...before bath time etc but otherwise went back to pull-ups.
Apparently some pull- ups / training pants are deliberately less absorbent at the front than nappies so the child can "feel" the after effects of doing a wee more than they can with a nappy on.
We also tried the Pirate Pete potty book from about 3 which helped. Also I have twins and my son took about 6 months longer than my daughter til he was accident free during the day and even after he was dry he regressed once or twice (e.g. When starting a new nursery). A few of my friends with boys said they took a lot longer than girls to get it.
Try not to fret. He'll do it in his own time x

[gingerpusscat]

I'm a bit late to this thread, but going through similar with 2.9 DS. Started 4 weeks ago, pretty bulletproof with wees and poos in the potty when naked, but even wearing very loose shorts seems to invite random wees on the couch (!) and floor. Weirdly, he will poo on the potty whether naked or clothed. But wee is currently hit and miss. Today he waited to wee until out of his night nappy, next wee was done properly in the potty (wearing shorts which he managed himself), he then wee'd on the couch an hour later (in shorts) and then refused to wear any pants for the rest of the afternoon. He happily wee'd and pooed naked in the potty for the rest of the day. Sigh. No advice, just sympathy!

[drspouse]

Oh Crap Potty Training recommends going commando, like a PP suggests. Worth a try.

Our DS was not doing this but when perfectly able to wee on the potty, he was struggling to actually pull down his pants for some time, so we went with him and did that bit. A few aiming problems but we taught him gradually to do the actual trouser bit.