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Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Potty training

3 year old lots of accidents

17 replies

laulea82 · 08/11/2016 11:01

Hello wise parents

I'm looking for advice from anyone who has experience potty training a difficult child. DD is 3y 2m. We have been potty training for about 12 months. She has 1-4 accidents a day. Mostly wee accidents. She's ok with poos mostly though prefers to go at home (don't we all).

Sometimes she has accidents because she's busy playing and can't be bothered to stop. But sometimes about once a day she just wees And looks down in shock oh I'm weeing! I think she may get little or no warning signs?! Should I be worried?

Got GP appointment tomorrow where I expect to be fobbed off.

FYI she's a little behind with some development e.g. Counting, colours etc. Her speech is excellent. She sometimes seems in her own world and can be a bit difficult generally. She's happy healthy and very polite etc. Also in nursery full time and has been since 6months.

Any tips gratefully received

Thanks in advance.

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peachpearplum01 · 08/11/2016 19:25

Sorry no advice but I could have written this - sounds exactly like my DD. Except for she used to ask to do a wee when she was first trained but I can't remember the last time she did that.
She's fine at nursery so I think it can't be an infection but need to check that out too.
So following with interest! Good luck

laulea82 · 09/11/2016 11:38

Hello! Oh dd very rarely asks for it too!! So it seems we are just 'catching' them if that makes sense. Well the doctor has confirmed a urine infection. But I assume she's not had it for 12 months! So maybe it is part of the puzzle. Hoping things will improve now. Always hopeful

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FlyingCat · 09/11/2016 11:55

Could she be constipated? My daughter had big problems with this with the result that she couldn't feel the urges to wee until very late. Lots of water and bran flakes for breakfast and She is much improved.

peachpearplum01 · 09/11/2016 13:08

Oh hope that helps then! Given me a push to get checked out with doctor too. Let us know how you get on...

laulea82 · 09/11/2016 13:09

I don't think so flying. She goes quite easily 1-2 times a day. Though sometimes she has a wee accident just before she poops on the potty / toilet.

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laulea82 · 09/11/2016 13:10

I've just noticed her front bum area is swollen. So must be a recent infection or would have noticed.

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user1471463356 · 09/11/2016 13:20

We had this issue. Although ds. I kept him in (except nursery days) and he had nothing on except a tshirt. Accidents were harder to hide and he began telling telling me after a day.

He still has the occasional accident but not as many as he was!

FlyingCat · 09/11/2016 13:41

Take a look at this, hopefully poo is not you problem but going daily doesn't necessarily mean there isn't a problem.

FlyingCat · 09/11/2016 13:42

www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/parenting/bedwetting-accidents-potty-training

laulea82 · 10/11/2016 08:25

Thank you flying. Interesting read. Dd doesn't seem to fit into those symptoms but I bet a lot of children do!

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peachpearplum01 · 14/11/2016 19:05

Hi Laulea, how are e you getting on? We are just trying something different and, I really don't want to speak too soon, but we've just had our first day in a couple of months with no accidents... started to think with our dd it had become a power struggle, so we just said to her one day that she is a big girl now and it was up to her to get her wee and poo in the potty, we weren't going to tell her when to go and asked her to choose where she put the potty. Now she's started taking herself to it and going under her own volition which she hadn't done since the early days of training. Still not convinced she totally knows when she needs to wee but has taken a bit of the stress out of it.. nothing could have been worse than it was before though for us!!

laulea82 · 14/11/2016 21:45

Oh peach that's excellent. Our dd is the same she is so independent. Maybe we just learn to accept we have no control and it's all up to them?!
Dd is slightly better since she finished antibiotics.
Looking back I think there has been a very slight improvement in the long term compared to, say, 6 months ago. So I think there is very slow progress and I'm holding on to that.

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LynseyH · 14/11/2016 21:58

Not sure it's helpful to add, but my 3 year old son was a bit of a nightmare to potty train. He only attends nursery during term time so I waited for a break then basically said, no more pull ups and asked him literally every 20 minutes if he needed a wee. If it went a while of him saying no, I'd just take him anyway and get him to try. We had wee on the carpets, the sofa, the flooring, in clothes but eventually after a lot of accidents, things did get better. It was frustrating!! I think the best advice is literally have a week at home, where there are no disruptions (if possible!)
Thankfully my house no longer stinks of weeks and order is restored. Best of luck getting things sorted, potty training is not at all fun!!

Ohhh I just remembered we also used a reward chart and he choose his own stickers and which one to put on the chart!

laulea82 · 15/11/2016 20:08

Thanks Lynsey. Yes we did that in December then again over summer. She's on a good streak now but she's regressed so many times I have no confidence it will happen for good.

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LynseyH · 15/11/2016 21:33

Aw it will happen I promise. We think we tried my son too early to start with so we left him a bit later than maybe we should have. He was 3 yrs, 5 months by the time he was fully potty trained. Some kids just do it later than others, don't put too much pressure on yourself. I've heard of kids still struggling to get the hang of it right before they start school.
I have another son who is only 10 months older and we thought when he was potty training his little brother would just copy (he does with everything else!) It really didn't happen at all! And the elder of the 2 was an absolute dream. He was telling us he needed it after the first week. They are all so different. I'm now pregnant again and potty training is definitely not one of the things I look forward to!

Pigeonpost · 15/11/2016 21:40

I am bemused by this. Potty training for 12 months?? My DS3 is 3yrs 4 months and I thought he was never going to do it. He is very articulate but just wasn't interested despite all sticker chart/bribe suggestions. Last week he came home from pre-school announcing he was no longer wearing nappies and he's been accident free for a week now. He just did it when he was ready. Your DD obviously isn't ready if she's having 1-4 accidents a day and has been for 12 months. It has always been my understanding that there is some sort of switch in their genetic code which has to trigger for them to the successfully toilet train. What's the rush? All 3 of mine have been past 3 when they toilet trained and I've always had to tune out the competitive "oh my DS trained at 18 months don't you know" braggers. Just follow her lead and don't get hung up on what she "should" be doing. I'd be very surprised if the GP says different.

laulea82 · 15/11/2016 21:50

Pigeon. She has 1-4 accidents at the moment. Over the last 6-9 months she's been very up and down. She can go a week or more no accidents then have 5 accidents a day for a week. She went two months with 0-1 accident a day. She can do it and is ready. She won't entertain nappies. I'm not rushing her she decided she wanted to do it a long long time ago.
I know some children don't train before school and that is my biggest fear with her.
The doctor has prescribed antibiotics for urine infection and said to bring her back in a month of no improvement and she will refer to urologist

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