Complete regression in 3 year old - help!

(9 Posts)
MiaowTheCat Thu 14-Jul-16 08:45:35

I'm absolutely at breaking point with this one!

DD2 is 3 years 4 months but with a slight language delay (it's resolving itself now - mainly due to a gobshite older sister not letting her get a word in edgeways).

She potty trained just after age 3 (we'd tried before and she just wasn't ready) when we used being stuck in the house with chicken pox to get there... was fine for a good couple of months with the odd accident like you'd expect - but all of a sudden a good month and a bit ago... totally started to lose the plot with it and we've since gone from daily accidents to twice daily, and now just not entertaining it at all - she'll go to the toilet if prompted and pee on there - but then will just come over and tell me she's done a wee or a poo in her pants five minutes later.

I've tried desperately to ride it out - tried rewards, tried being non-reactive at all, tried making her change her pants and pop them in the machine, tried putting timers on to remind her to go, used towelling type pants to give her the feeling of wetting but contain the mess slightly, done bare bum and going back to the potty... the lot - nothing at all is working - she'll pay lip service to going to the loo for the reward - but then resume peeing and pooing everywhere.

I've had to put her back in nappies now out of sheer desperation as it was heading toward a power struggle - but god do I feel like an utter failure with it all.

She's fine at bloody preschool - so it must be something I'm doing to fail on this one!

BentleyBelly Thu 04-Aug-16 11:54:16

How are you getting on now? I fear we are headed the same way....completely dry for 2 months and in the last week 2 or more accidents a day sad Not sure what to do either.

Pants82 Sun 07-Aug-16 10:31:52

Same here. 3 yo, thought we'd nailed it. Weeks without accidents now suddenly last couple of weeks 4 accidents a day at nursery.

maisybobbins Sun 07-Aug-16 10:56:15

My intelligent usually pretty well behaved DS did exactly the same op, at pretty much the same age! I was gobsmacked. He just suddenly went back to pooing in his pants again and thinking it was fine. I too tried everything including throwing his favourite pants away in front on him when he soiled them. He just wasn't bothered and I was at my wits end.... UNTIL... I

A) banned television for 24 hours after any accidents
B) showed him the cool present he would get (we bought it and kept it in the kitchen) for when he'd done a week without an accident.

That was our turning point. Good luck!! Don't get stressed, but lots of cheapo pants and bin the poo ones!

maisybobbins Sun 07-Aug-16 10:58:09

Forgot to mention that when I banned the television I was super calm and matter of fact about it. No big deal, this is what happens now because it's the rules. He was calm too but horrified!

Rainbowunicorn73 Sun 07-Aug-16 11:14:56

When she's in pants are you reminding her to go to the toilet often?

I am having the same issue with my ds and when I looked at some online articles, one thing that jumped out at me is that constantly reminding children of this age to go to the toilet can be counter productive. Around this age they are naturally trying to gain more control over their life anyway and constantly sending them to the loo when they don't need it feels like you are controlling them. It suggested telling the child that you trusted them and weren't going to remind them any more. Then suggesting a reward when they'd managed a dry day/week.

We're trying it with our ds and so far I've been surprised at how good he's been.

Rainbowunicorn73 Sun 07-Aug-16 11:15:33

When she's in pants are you reminding her to go to the toilet often?

I am having the same issue with my ds and when I looked at some online articles, one thing that jumped out at me is that constantly reminding children of this age to go to the toilet can be counter productive. Around this age they are naturally trying to gain more control over their life anyway and constantly sending them to the loo when they don't need it feels like you are controlling them. It suggested telling the child that you trusted them and weren't going to remind them any more. Then suggesting a reward when they'd managed a dry day/week.

We're trying it with our ds and so far I've been surprised at how good he's been.

MiaowTheCat Mon 15-Aug-16 07:59:56

Hoping we're getting somewhere now - we started earning sweeties for going, and storing them in a jar till the end of the day - so we could deduct ones for not being bothered to get up and go to the loo... that seems to have done the trick a bit.

She's a smart kid - we talked about not wanting to wee on her Paw Patrol knickers because Skye wouldn't want to get wet... the little bugger suggested we got some with Zuma on as he's a water pup so it wouldn't matter!

Rainbowunicorn73 Mon 15-Aug-16 21:25:23

Ha ha ha grin
Love that, obviously a clever kid!!!

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