3 yr old will not poo on toilet/potty. How do I stop her shitting her pants?

(20 Posts)
leftyloosy Mon 17-Aug-15 17:17:41

Dd is 3, we started potty training the day after her birthday, so 2 weeks ago. She has grasped wees, will even take herself off to the potty now. But pooing.

It isn't a case of accidents. She knows she needs one, and has started to not tell me and go off and hide. She knows I will take her to the toilet and she cries, saying she wants to do it in her pants. It's driving me mad. What can I do?

Tournesol Mon 17-Aug-15 17:23:57

My Dd was like that. She was afraid to poo on the loo and so just held it in until she pooed her pants.

Sorry to say it took us about a month to crack it, but we just tried to take the pressure off, read her stories on the toilet, read her the whole poo goes to Pooland book and just persevere.

She totally got there in the end and now is pretty good with the toilet so just don't give up!

BinToHellAndBack Mon 17-Aug-15 17:24:20

Sounds hard going.

Could you try getting some potty training story books to read through with her, and some special books/stickers/toys that are to look at ONLY when she is on the toilet doing a poo.

Or try putting the potty in her favourite 'hide and poo' corner and tell her that you'll leave her in peace to do it if that what she prefers?

And maybe some really nice pants that she chooses herself that will be very hard to part with if she poos in them and they have to go in the bin?

Good luck!

Littlefish Mon 17-Aug-15 17:28:04

Have a look at the ERIC website. There is some excellent advice there on how to move a child from pooing in a pull-up to pooing in the loo. I know your situation is not exactly the same, but you may find some of the suggestions helpful.

Haggisfish Mon 17-Aug-15 17:37:19

We just let dd wear a nappy to do a poo for about six months as she transitioned to potty.

FernGullysWoollyPully Mon 17-Aug-15 17:45:48

We've had the same trouble. Now, I sit my daughter on the potty and ignore her. I know when she needs a poo, I can read her cues as well as smell the farts!

She was always a 'go off and hide' pooer, even with nappies. So I pretend she's not there until she's done one. That way she can see it's nothing to be stressed about because we are all completely not bothered.

When she's done, big congratulations and a sweet. We only started a little over 2 weeks ago too and she's mastered wees. Poos will follow.

leftyloosy Mon 17-Aug-15 17:47:31

She refuses a nappy, I've offered!

I've explained she needs to sit and wait, let her read books. I'll have a look at poo goes to poo land. Thanks!

leftyloosy Mon 17-Aug-15 18:17:05

She won't be left on her own (that's a whole other issue!), I've tried leaving her to it, she just gets up because she thinks she might be missing out on what me and ds are doing.

FernGullysWoollyPully Mon 17-Aug-15 18:51:24

Oh dear. Well how about some colouring/stickers etc while she's on there? Sometimes it distracts them from tensing up and holding it in.

when all else fails bribery and corruption are completely acceptable

leftyloosy Mon 17-Aug-15 19:34:27

I'm going to put together a special box of books etc I think. I printed off poo goes to poo land and read it for bedtime. She was interested, so we'll see.

allypally1983 Wed 19-Aug-15 21:27:14

Have had this problem since new year. Out ds was great at wees, would happily go on potty or loo. But WOULD NOT poo anywhere but a nappy. It drove me mad!! So about 2 weeks ago, I went cold turkey!! I moved all the nappies in the house to a drawer in my room and when she said she needed a poo I said I had no nappies. Sure enough, she checked the cupboard, change bag and everywhere she knew nappies were but I said we have none. She whined for about an hour, and I said if she went on the potty, we would go to the you shop. Well all of a sudden she just sat down and pooed on the potty!!! Hooray!!! Since then, no problems. She gets the potty and goes. Jon done! Good luck

allypally1983 Wed 19-Aug-15 21:34:20

Sorry, wrong thread

allypally1983 Wed 19-Aug-15 21:37:45

Sorry, wrong thread

I just logged on to start this exact thread so reading with interest. I thought we'd cracked it last week when he did one in return for a yoyo but nothing since. No accidents just holding in then every 3/4 days he goes in his pull up whilst he's sleeping. It's so frustrating because he's pale and bloated until he goes and he must feel awful but just really doesn't want to go on the potty sad

hossenfeffer Wed 19-Aug-15 22:11:31

My DS1 refused to use a potty. Then I realised, it wasn't natural. He was used to people going to the loo when nature called and because we lived in an unusual cottage he had to accompany if there was only one adult at home.

So, I got to thinking about how would I like it if I had to sit on a pot in the middle of a living room.

Took him to the loo. Made a fuss of look we've got you this wonderful new seat because you're such a big boy now. Turned my back when he was dong what's natural and helped him to wipe his bum.

With DS2 potties were not even part of it.

I think they're a throw back from the 50s when an inside loo was a luxury and somehow we've clung onto them because that's the way it's always been.

hossen I like the theory but ds cries if we even suggest the toilet instead of the potty for a wee so we've got no chance getting him to poo on it.

TickledOnion Thu 20-Aug-15 07:43:30

I have a similar problem with dd2 age 3. She will go regularly in a pull up. I tried cold turkey but relented after 3 days with no poo and a very miserable uncomfortable child. She has promised me she will poo in the toilet when she is 4!

swisscheesetony Thu 20-Aug-15 08:01:51

I had this for ages with DS1 - often he'd sneak off in the playpark and we'd all have to trot off home. Then we stayed with my sister for a week and I don't know if he just liked the look of her toilet or what, but suddenly there was a shout "come and wipe my BUUUUUUUM!" and that was it. He was ready when he was ready. But I understand your frustrations.

poocatcherchampion Thu 20-Aug-15 08:30:23

Potties are wonderful things for little ones. A three year old can master the loo even if they need a step or help balancing.

A 1.5 year old gains independence from being able to use the potty by themselves (in the loo not the sitting room).

Potties are less useful now because many potty train later.

CornishYarg Fri 28-Aug-15 14:26:06

We had this with DS for about a month after we'd cracked the wees. He would go off on his own to poo in his pants. For us, the turning point seemed to be when he realised the wiping process was much quicker if he went in the potty/toilet than in his pants. (One evening he managed to do a poo in his potty and required very little wiping, then did a loose one in his pants that took ages to clean up. So the comparison between the two was obvious and pretty immediate for him.)

So in case she thinks similarly to DS, maybe make the clean up process pretty cumbersome; obviously not leaving her sitting in poo but insisting she comes to the bathroom to be cleaned up, getting her to find clean clothes etc. And just casually mention that it's all much quicker if the poo is in the potty or loo.

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