Should we stop?

[thedicewoman]

Hi, just looking for a bit of advice - we started potty training our DS (2.9) on Sunday. He is happy to sit on the potty or the toilet, sometimes for long periods while having stories.

Since we started he has had a couple of wees in the potty and a poo, and is telling us that a wee is coming. However, he's having lots of accidents as he is just not making it to the potty in time, but each time he has said beforehand that the wee is coming.

He only does a wee about 4 times a day, so opportunities for success are limited! Also more often than not he is dry in the morning, so I think he has good control.

So I suppose my question is: on the basis of the fact that he is still mostly having accidents 4 days in, should we stop and try again later, or looking at it from the side that he knows they are coming but just can't get there in time, should we persevere?

[Tired2015]

Out of interest, why did you start? I believe if its child initiated then it's more successful and I'd be cautious about ditching it just yet.

I found it easier to do scheduled 1.5-2 hourly toileting for a while - first few days or week - with more drinks than normal. It seemed to help them learn the feeling of needing to pee before it's too late.

[domesticslattern]

Depends a bit if DS is happy or not.
Mine saw it as a challenge, hated nappies etc so we kept at it. It took a year btw.
Others who aren't showing signals they want to try it- slow down a bit. Especially if everyone is getting stressed out.

[thedicewoman]

thanks for your reply Tired. I started mainly because he seemed to be ready, dry for long periods in the day, and frequently dry at night, but no he didn't initiate it. I'm finding it very different from when we trained our DD who went many times a day. We did increase drinks with her but he doesn't seem as keen to drink lots - maybe need to get some more enticing drinks...

[thedicewoman]

thanks domestic. he seems to be enjoying it, not bothered by accidents and is very pleased with himself when he gets it in the potty. I feel your pain with the year, It has been an even longer haul with our DD for other reasons, which is why I suppose I'm thinking about stopping, as I can't face it if it starts to get stressful. it's not at the moment so I guess I'll carry on a few more days and try the 2 hour scheduled toileting that Tired suggests

[seaoflove]

I feel for you. I've given up numerous times because DD was totally unwilling to engage at all, would just hold her bladder all day long instead. I couldn't handle the stress. I decided to wait for her to WANT to do it. Well, that day never came and she's now 3.10 and still in nappies.

I would be embarrassed if it wasn't totally her fault, she's so incredibly stubborn. She has bladder and bowel control, just chooses not to use the toilet, ever.

So, I'm facing a few weeks of hell by going complete cold turkey over the summer holidays. I'm just going to take the pull ups away and leave her to it. No point taking her to the toilet regularly or asking her if she needs to go, because she refuses. So I'm hoping if I leave her to her own devices, she'll get bored of having accidents and start using the toilet.

Sorry, bit of a tangent there!

[Tired2015]

I initiated potty training with my first DC, mainly because it was summer and I didn't fancy it in wintertime!

We found he didn't know he was peeing and so we found it impossible to catch, and gave up.

A few months later, mid winter ironically! he initiated potty training by removing soiled nappies and bringing them to us. We didn't have a choice! But this time he was ready, and it only took a week.

However it was a hard first 3-5 days of soiled clothes about 5-6 times! Suddenly he got plenty of warning and within a week we were sorted.

So what I'm saying is, changing your mind shouldn't make anyone feel a failure in any way

[thedicewoman]

Thanks all, he came in from playing outside today saying he needed a wee, sat down on potty and did it!! However, that's been the only one in the potty the entire day, has to be progress tho right?!

A friend of mine had a similar issue with her 3 year old sea , not sure how long it took, but she cracked it eventually (of course) not easy but hopefully your plan will work!

[madmother1]

Could you have a chart and put a sticker on for each time he does a wee or poo in the potty?

[LittleTamy]

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