4 year old problems with potty training and starting school in Sept - help!

[puddymuddles]

I have been trying to potty train DD1 since she was 3 years old. She is a bright girl and has no obvious special needs but refuses to use the potty/toilet and seems afraid of growing up - always saying that she does not want to get bigger or go to school and talks about when she was a baby and the things she had and toys she played with almost as if she wants to be a baby again.

She goes to nursery 2 afternoons a week and has a younger sister who is 2 and I am expecting DC3 in June.

Her keyworker at nursery says I should ask to be referred to a child psychologist as DD has been saying lots of things at nursery about how she doesn't want to grow up etc. Everything else at nursery is fine - she is well behaved and has lots of friends.

I have been to GP who dismissed my concerns and said they couldn't refer her to anyone as she does not have a physical problem.

All the things that work on my friends' children do not work on her - bribes, star charts, rewards, getting big girl knickers I have tried them all. The most she has ever done is agree to wear knickers at home and has done a few wees on the toilet then seems to get fed up and doesn't want to use it anymore and just has constant accidents. I am starting to encourage DD2 to use the potty and she is a lot more interested but then DD1 gets even more upset and won't do it at all.

Please help - she is due to start Reception in Sept - they will think I am some lazy parent who hasn't bothered to toilet train my child whereas I have been stressed about this for ages.

Should I go back to the GP?