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Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Potty training

Any ideas on where I go from here?

12 replies

ICantDecideOnAUsername · 04/01/2015 22:48

DS is just over 3. For ages now we've been getting him used to using a potty and/or toilet seat. Sometimes it would be a struggle to get him to sit on it (a musical ITNG book helped keep him there). Us and the childminders started properly potty training him in about October time and spent weeks taking him to the potty/toilet throughout the day and he got a smiley face on a chart for each pee and poo he did. He was doing really well and hardly needed any pull ups. Then he seemed to regress and refused to even sit on the potty. He's always had a chocolate button for 'results' but then, when you said "do you want to go pee on the potty, you might get a chocolate button" he would reply "I don't want a chocolate button" (how do you argue with that?!) and any attempt to get him on the potty/toilet would be met with screaming, kicking and going stiff.
We've kept at it and tried to make an effort, these last two days we decided to put him in his days of the week dinosaur pants. We've explained that the dinosaur doesn't want to be weed on and he needs to tells us when he needs to pee/poo but nothing (we've been saying the same thing for months now!). He's been through about 6 pairs of pants/trousers each day and pees within about 30 mins each time. The problem is he's back at the childminder tomorrow. I can't send him with 5 spare pairs of pants and trousers every day even if she does have time to take him to pee every 20 mins or so.
We thought about just doing pants at the weekend but will that confuse him too much. He just doesn't seem to understand and/or care.

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BikeRunSki · 04/01/2015 22:54

From what you've said it doesn't sound like he is ready. Seems like you've been trying an awful long time. (Mine both "got it"'in s couple of days and had it pretty under control in a couple of weeks). Put him back in nappies for now, he knows that pants are an option if he wants.

DrownedGirl · 04/01/2015 22:56

Ask the minder what she thinks/would prefer.

BikeRunSki · 04/01/2015 23:00

He just doesn't seem to understand and/or care..

I think this tells you all you need to know about his readiness.

MrsCosmopifairylight · 04/01/2015 23:11

He's not ready. Give it a month or so and try again. We had a false start with DD when she was nearly 3 (nearly 4 now). A week of being okay and then we were back to 'accidents' on a regular basis. I put her back in nappies, left off bothering her about it, and we tried again not long after her birthday. It took about two weeks and we've had no problems. BTW, didn't go the route of any rewards the second time around.

Can't for the life of me remember the very good book I read about Potty Training. If I can track it down, will let you know.

ICantDecideOnAUsername · 04/01/2015 23:37

Thanks everyone. Yes perhaps we should leave it for a while. It was the childminder who suggested trying pants and a few other of my friends said using pull ups just confuses them. When he goes in the potty/toilet he grins from ear to ear and is really pleased with himself but there seems to be no motivation to be pro-active about going and he doesn't feel the need to tell us, no matter his many times we try to explain. The only thing I noticed today is that he told us twice he'd done a pee/poo rather than us spotting the wet patch on his trousers.
He is very confident and independent (too much sometimes!) but with this I can't work out if he is unconfident (disconfident?) or confident that he is not bothered, iyswim.

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ICantDecideOnAUsername · 05/01/2015 20:42

Hey guess what?
DH decided to send ds into childminder with pants and spare trousers and...he was dry all day! CM took him to toilet every half an hour and he had no accidents! I took him (with a bit of a struggle) when I picked him up and then he lasted an hour before bath with no pees. Grin. I'm almost scared to write this in case it al goes pear-shaped again. We've been here before, albeit with pull-ups, a few months back but I'm cautiously optimistic.

On the downside he did do a poo in the bath this evening, which he's not done for years Hmm.

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BikeRunSki · 05/01/2015 22:40

That's great news. Fingers crossed!

DrownedGirl · 06/01/2015 08:23

Sounds like he is at the stage where as long as he doesn't rebel, he can be 'toileted' regularly and will perform in the loo or potty. Success with this depends on thorough parental attention (set the timer on your phone) If the CM is up for this, all to the good.

My youngest, we TT late June. It is only now that he will reliably take the initiative when he needs to go. Before that, we still had to prompt, And he had accidents.

Having TT 4 children, I no longer think that have to 'get it' 100% right away and do it independently, to be deemed 'ready'

I think if the pair of you are at a point where the child is willing to use the toilet, and you are able to commit the time to taking then regularly, and there are more successes than accidents, that things are going ok and it might take a while, but you will get there.

DrownedGirl · 06/01/2015 08:25

Don't go back in pull-ups, it sounds like that would be a step back. Your CM is probably pretty experienced at TT, and a little more detached, so if she is suggesting an approach, it's worth listening to.

PoppySausage · 06/01/2015 08:30

Dd suddenly clicked at 3.3 but before that was screaming and weeing everywhere. She also did not respond to bribery! No advice really, just don't panic.

ICantDecideOnAUsername · 12/01/2015 22:07

Thanks for all comments everyone, just a quick update, he's really done well since last weekend. Us and the cm have been leaving it longer and longer to take him to the toilet and asking him if he needs to go, rather than just take him regularly. He can now last over two hours at a time if he wants to. Most of the time he knows if he needs to go or not and is not happy when we have to insist (e.g. before we go out). We've had a few accidents (3 pee accidents - 2 of which were today Confused) and a few poo ones too.

TMI ALERT! Whilst he, most of the time, knows when he needs a pee, he doesn't seem to know when he needs to poo. Also, he has had quite runny ones too this week, which I guess are harder for him to 'predict'. This is kind of what I was worried about as he gets this sometimes. I have in the past mentioned it to the doctor who said it could be food related (but doesn't appear to follow any particular food and is so sporadic) or toddler diarrhoea, which they eventually grow out of. I do worry, not just about the mess, but also if it will put him off a bit.

Still, he's done so well this well. Still not brave enough to go too far yet. When do I brave soft play?!

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ICantDecideOnAUsername · 12/01/2015 22:07

week

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