Hi everyone,
This time last year (in fact it was last spring) we worked really hard with our almost 3 yr old son to get him potty trained ahead of the arrival of his sister, who came in Sept. We used a star chart, regular sits on the potty and eventually the toilet with his own seat and used rewards to get him going. It worked really well. Then two weeks before our daughter arrived he reverted right back. Wetting himself constantly, pooing in his pants, the floor, anywhere but the toilet...
He is 4 in late September and, although he has improved since last year's relapse, he still manages to wet himself on average twice a day and still prefers to at least start off a poo in his pants. The washing is through the roof and he does this sloping off somewhere to hide when he needs something. He seems to be slightly better at his afternoon sessions at nursery but is still the only child there who occasionally comes home in his spare clothes. He knows exactly what he needs to do and to ask us for help should he need it, but so often he is distracted by playing or something he's watching, or just plain laziness that he lets it happen. He denies needing to go when we ask and literally fights us not to go sometimes.
He has had problems with constipation in the past which led to retention so he never looks forward to going for a poo, but we know the signs and do our best to get him there in time. And then there's the waiting. Sometimes for days on end.
At wits end. I took him out for breakfast this morning and came back to do some gardening. He wet himself within half an hour of being home (he didn't ask me to help or go on his own) and then AGAIN just 30 minutes later. This is insane. I have nothing left in me. How many more talks or what feels like psychological counselling sessions is it going to take from us to get him to twig? How difficult is it to take yourself when you need to go?????
Please help.
xx
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Potty training
One year in...still having accidents. Help.
VelvetQuilt · 02/08/2014 11:26
Ah I will join you, I feel your pain. Ds1 is same age and been 'potty trained' since may last year. He routinely has wee accidents and I don't go anywhere without a change of clothes. I like summer as shorts are lighter and easier to carry. We have tonnes of them!
I could more or less have written your post. There's never any help or support or magic solution when you look up this problem on t'internet. It's just down to their distraction and laziness.
We do sticker charts but even they have limited effect as he will still lose the impetus and the reward is not always an incentive to stop him wetting.
Whenever we think he's cracked it he goes backwards again. It's worse in a way as we think he's sorted, we go places without spare clothes and then several accidents creep up on you so you go back to square one.
Just riding it out, trying not to react, ignoring all the people telling you about their potty trained preschooler (you can guarantee that developmentally there is something your child can do but theirs can't).
It's quite common I think. My nursery deliberately don't make a big deal of it. Today I have seen a friend whose little girl is having serious poo problems and she's about to go to school. I know lots of people whose nearly 4yo is like this.
Plod on (& stick another load of washing on 
). They get there eventually.
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