My 3 year old not "getting it" - am really frustrated

(11 Posts)
Amber76 Tue 08-Apr-14 14:02:51

My dd has just turned 3. She didn't really show any signs of being ready to be toilet trained but I thought that, given her age, I should just start.

Yesterday was day 1 and it was a disaster. Nothing in potty and 4/5 changes of clothes. Nappy for night.
Today marginally better - 2 wee's in potty but she has wee'd all over the floor 4/5 times and had done a poo in her pants which I just binned.

She likes the undies - we've got Peppa pig ones but she doesn't care when they get wet. She refuses to use the toilet even with the step, will only sit on the singing toilet.

My main problem is that it doesn't seem to bother her - she doesn't care if she is wet or dirty. After giving her lots of praise and a treat for using the potty she just went on to wet herself a half hour later. And when she did the poo she wouldn't admit it - just said no when I asked her if she had.

Bribery helps but she just doesn't seem to get it - the only wee's she has done are when sitting on the potty for a long time whilst being promised a treat for producing something.

I can't imagine being able to leave the house with her. I have a nine month old baby as well and think we'll all go mad if we're stuck inside for the week!

I just can't believe that other kids are toilet trained a full year earlier than this. Any advice or tips welcomed!

goofygoober Tue 08-Apr-14 17:09:28

We are on day 2 with DS 2.8 - so far nothing in the potty, but many, many wees in pants and on floor. We are doing stickers, which DS is very excited about. We spent 2.5 hours playing in the bedroom, sitting on and off the potty - nothing. We put pants on, and the instant he felt the material, an accident! I have asked him a million times if he needs a wee, always 'no'. He must be holding on. All I really wanted to say was, please be reassured that your DD absolutely will get it, eventually! We've got 2 older DCs and though it was a bloody nightmare doing it with them. Eventually it just clicked.

I'm just persevering with no nappies during the day, and pull ups when we go out. I probably should just do pants, but I'm sure we'll get there.

Don't worry, just keep going. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, it will work.

Hope we get some success soon. grin

SweepTheHalls Tue 08-Apr-14 17:13:02

We went pant free for the first few days, easier to get onto the potty in an emergency! Potty in the room we were playing in, so if he started to have an accident he could be swiftly put onto the potty and get the celebration of even a dribble in there! We also used sweets in a see through jar, with us at all times so the reward was very visable! Good luck

goofygoober Tue 08-Apr-14 17:20:36

Forgot to say that DS has been teasing me with 'Mummy, wee is coming', which has resulted in me hurdling furniture and leaving food to burn on the hob, and galloping to the potty. Still nothing! At least you've had some in the potty! wink We will wait and see. 5,000 pairs of wet pants later!

Whereat123 Tue 08-Apr-14 18:22:16

We have been potty training my dd (2.7) for 3 months!....we are no further on than when we started! She has some days when she asks to go for a wee wee and a poo on the toilet, and does it by herself. The next day, she has nothing but accidents! There is no pattern at all to her behaviour. Rewards don't work! We have potties and toilet training seats, but still no change. I took some friends advice and put her back into pull-ups. Really wishing I hadn't as it seems to be 10 times worse now! She isn't telling me at all she needs to go now! I'm SO frustrated! Any advice is more than welcome!

sneakyday Tue 08-Apr-14 18:31:53

I thonk your clue may be that she is exhibiting no signs of being ready.

My dd a few moths ater this stage just started heading to the potty when no one was looking. Much praise later and she was completely dry during the day almost straight away.

Ok so she was a few months later than other kids but what was the harm?

Lamu Tue 08-Apr-14 18:48:31

We're 9 days in there's been a marked improvement from day 1. Dd is 2.7 and we still have the odd wet accident mainly because I have forgotten to put her on the potty at regular intervals.

I've found asking "do you need to do a wee etc." is usually met by a "No Mummy" I figured if I took her and sat her on a potty every time I went to the loo, she'd at least go as and when. It helps that I'm 36 weeks pregnant and I constantly need to go! She also gets two chocolate buttons for every wee. Which seems to be going down a treat.

We still haven't quite got the hang of poo's but at least she recognises that she needs to go and has started saying "my tummy's hurting".

Stick with it. It's bloody frustrating and tiresome. But she'll get there in the end. Fwiw we haven't stayed in all week. Just pack a supply of knickers, leggings, make sure she has a wee before you head out then just deal with it whilst out and about.

BranchingOut Tue 08-Apr-14 19:02:39

Sympathies. If you look on the 'gentle/slow potty training' thread you will see how long our own journey has been... So you might have to dig in and accept that it might be a while. If we had stayed in from the time we started, DS wouldn't have seen sunlight for years!

Consider getting some of the Bright Bots pants for when you are out and about, as they do hold a bit of wee and prevent a total trouser/tights/shoe/sock change.

At home, I would probably have gone for much more bare-bottom time in the early days. Can she just wear a dress, long socks and nothing underneath? Oh, and buy several potties...

zippey Wed 09-Apr-14 07:13:47

Try no pants and regular sittings on a higher than normal potty or a baby toilet pan on a normal toilet. This worked instantly for us after a nightmare day of wetting pants.
We also went through about a week where she would try and hold in a pooh.

Good luck.

Amber76 Wed 09-Apr-14 22:07:58

Thanks for all the responses.

We went from bad to worse yesterday. She must have some sort of bug because she did seven poo's! And the last two were explosive and really frightened her. She wouldn't go near the potty after that.

I put her in a nappy for the night. When she woke up straight away she was saying no potty, etc. I was out for a few hours and when I came back dh said she had done no wee's or poo's at all. She was clearly uncomfortable and upset; she screamed when I tried to get her to go to the potty.

I said to hell with it and let her wear a nappy. She had produced very nasty dirty nappies today! I must have the worst timing ever...

I'm just going to leave it for a few weeks and hope that I haven't scarred her forever!!

startwig1982 Thu 10-Apr-14 18:56:37

We've been going since Saturday, so 6 days now and having had 14 accidents on Saturday with no success, we've had 4 accidents today with several successes in the toilet, including a poo! He gets biscuits every time and seems to slowly be getting the hang of it. He's 2.9 and we've gone straight to pants and using the toilet rather than the potty.
I think perseverance is the key!

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