Does this mean she's not ready?

[ThoughtExperiment]

My dd is 2.8 months and we've just started potty training, having left it a bit later due to house move, holidays etc. All settled now though. She is a bright, articulate girl who has good speech and usually picks things up v quickly. However, I know potty training isn't just about that.

My problem is: she is perfectly happy to sit on her toilet seat (not so much the potty) and will sit there for ages (like, an hour sometimes) while we chat, read, sing, play with apps etc. I mean, there is really no issue for her as far I can see - if I say it's time to try the loo, she will run in, take her knickers off, get the training seat on, climb up herself etc. She seems really keen. I never force the issue if she is ever particularly resistant.

But the issue is she never does a wee on the loo. And after almost every long 'session' she then almost immediately wees in her knickers. Almost every time. It's like she is holding it until she is standing up. She gets upset when she does it too so she is aware (and I try to be v chilled out when it happens!)

Do you think she's just too uncomfortable on the training seat to 'go'? Does this mean she's just not ready? Please don't suggest trying the potty instead as she is much more resistant to that.

Any ideas? I'd really like to crack this soon so any experience or advie would be great. Thanks!

[Twinklestarstwinklestars]

Cab she tell you when she needs a wee? If she can't tell you it'll be a lot harder.

[ThoughtExperiment]

No, she never tells me if she needs a wee. She does tell me if she's done one though (bit late by then!) Am I wasting my time til she does that?

[Gruntfuttocks]

I'd forget about it for a while and try again when she tells you she's ready. It's very much a physical thing, nothing to do with intelligence. I was too lazy to bother, to be honest - preferred changing nappies to clearing up messes. My eldest announced that he wouldn't be wearing nappies any more on his third birthday, and that was literally the end of nappies and never a single accident ever. My second was very slow training, at least 3.5 and stayed in night time nappies until 10. Third I can't honestly remember, but pretty late by most people's standards.
I don't know what the rush is, and why people feel the need to 'train' a child over something that they will come to naturally in their own time.

[Dackyduddles]

Agree. Unless she knows first you are on a hiding to nothing. Give a month. Try again.

[Dackyduddles]

It's a developmental thing. One day the brain doesn't know to work that way. Then it does. That's why there's such different ages of when it can happen. It will grow the link. Promise. Sounds like she's not far off. Mine played with hers for a year before it worked. Bought a potty at 18mths but functionally used it at 2.5.

[ThoughtExperiment]

Thanks for the responses everyone. I think I might leave it a bit then. It's so hard when it seems like everyone else is already there but it's just one of those things. Might carry in with the loo for a short while everyday though, with no expectation or pressure, just so she stays used to it. Thanks again for the advice.