I don't really have any advice but you aren't alone. DD3 is 2.5 and exactly the same. I've held off on the potty training as I was worried that I would be setting her back by pushing her to sit on the potty when it upsets her so much. My other 2 dds were potty trained at around 2.7 but were definately ready. I think possibly if it's upsetting your dd so much I'd leave it another month or so and try again. Maybe just leave the potty out where she can see it but don't force the issue. My dd wants to wear pants and doesn't have accidents in them (will stay dry for a couple of hours no problems) but does ask for her nappy back on when she needs a wee. If I try the toilet or potty she just freaks out. She will sit quite happily on both with a nappy and trousers on.
Day 2 and we've had some success, 2 coincidental wees on the potty just based on yesterday's timings if accidents. However every time I try to get dd to sit on the potty she has an absolute meltdown. Sobs and sobs until she's actually on the potty but then calms down once she's there. My worry is that if I continue to push it she will develop a fear if the potty & will never ask to use it. She's 2.2, has been asking to wear pants. Occasionally asked to sit on the potty and never shuts up about wee & poo until yesterday... Any thoughts anyone?