First 2 days went well but now he's holding everything in!

(21 Posts)
PipIsOutNow Mon 18-Mar-13 16:27:08

My ds is 2.8 years old and we haven't really been trying to train him at all until he randomly did a poo on his potty Friday night. I put him in pants and he did really well Saturday with lots of wees in the potty/toilet and lots of fuss. He did one wee yesterday on potty and had an accident but today he hasn't weed at all or hasn't pooed for 2 days. Is it normal for him to be doing this? I've put a pull up on him for his nap as he seemed to be getting distressed and he's not 100% well either. Help!

wehopeyoulikespaghetti Sat 30-Mar-13 10:29:29

I notice this was a little while ago... any progress?

I'm afraid I don't have any useful advice to offer, but I can sympathise.

I was reading it because my dd is 2.9 years old and we've just started this week. She has learnt to hold it in in just 2 days (I suppose that's good) but since then has been managing to go really long periods of time without weeing. 5 hours including a nap yesterday before she finally gave in. She dances around trying to hold onto it for an hour and a half before she can finally do one. She gets on and off the potty lots during that time but finds it really difficult to do a wee. Has anyone else been in this position? Any tips helping her to relax?

jennimoo Sun 31-Mar-13 18:52:50

I'm afraid it's the same story here, was going to post the same. Have tried tickling stories and watching videos on my phone which sometimes works (if she can't hold on any more).

I'd be interested to hear if anyone's had this and then they've relaxed and magically started using the potty. Or alternatively if its a sign she's not ready...

wehopeyoulikespaghetti Sun 31-Mar-13 22:40:47

it can't possibly be about not being ready. Surely being able to hold on for that long is the number one sign you are able to control it and can be out of nappies. Today was ridiculous round here. She did a wee in her nappy before we got to her in the morning (woke up around 8.30am, what with the clock change) and then after that she didn't wee AT ALL until 4.45pm. She spent approximately the last 4 hours of that doing a desperate riverdance and feeling uncomfortable because she needed to go. Can't be right or good for her...

jennimoo Mon 01-Apr-13 07:03:13

DD seemed to relax a tiny but the second half of yesterday, lots of hugs and reassurance and one little accident.

It could be that psychologically they aren't ready I suppose, but we're going to keep going for now.

omama Mon 01-Apr-13 08:54:10

Interested to hear other's views. Same happened with ds when we tried him at 2.2, he was holding from wakeup until he was put in nappy for his nap, then holding again til bedtime. After 3 days of this he was starting to get quite distressed so we abandoned our attempt & decided to wait a few months. He's now 2.7 & we are planning to try when we get home from hols at end of april.

jennimoo Wed 03-Apr-13 06:46:51

DD is still resisting the potty when she has to go, but loves the potty and is proud of herself when she gets it right.

Going to give it a couple more days then make a call on whether she needs a break...

Anyone else had any success?

wehopeyoulikespaghetti Wed 03-Apr-13 20:20:21

having lots more success here, so good luck to the rest of you, and hang in there. Today there have been no accidents, and regular wees, and even one poo. DD has been very pleased with herself and is racking up the stars on the star chart and telling everyone she sees of her mighty achievements. grin

Before that we had 3-4 days of lots of holding on, including a bit of distress - her saying her bottom was hurting, dancing about, asking to sit on the potty every few minutes but then getting up again without doing anything. Frustrating for us too, especially when after several hours of desperate dancing about you have to put the bedtime nappy on and she wees in it straight away. I saw another thread on here somewhere that suggested just not to put the nappy on during the day at all. In our case she can make it through the day sometimes without a nap so she's mostly been dropping the nap, but one day she did have a nap in a pull-up but was still dry when she woke. So you could try napping without nappies, just leaving the nappies for overnight. I would be surprised if a child could go from morning to night without weeing at least once. Although having said that, DD managed 8.30am till 4.45pm on Easter Sunday, even though she drank lots.

The frustrating thing about potty training for me is that there is no template and really very little advice you can give. I've done it twice before and it doesn't get any easier. You think you're making progress and suddenly you're not, and then other times you can't possibly see how it can get any better and suddenly they get it. I think as long as we stay patient and kind, praise when it goes well and ignore any accidents, they get it eventually. Some take longer than others, but they all get there in the end. My boys took months to get it right, but things seem a bit quicker this time, perhaps because DD is older than they were.

Hope things are getting better for the rest of you.

jennimoo Wed 03-Apr-13 20:31:36

Glad to hear things are improving, spaghetti.

I don't put DD in nappies for naps and no accidents. In fact I've bought pull ups for night and I don't think dd realises they are nappies, and even woke up dry once in the morning! I tell her they are just to keep her bottom warm ;)

wehopeyoulikespaghetti Wed 03-Apr-13 21:47:41

we referred to the Huggies pull-ups as "special pants" and she was very happy until my other half put her in one overnight and she weed in it and realised how they worked. Heard her complaining to him in outraged tone "these are not special pants, they are really nappy!"

jennimoo Thu 04-Apr-13 06:24:12

That's funny! DD said yesterday morning when she got up "pull ups nice and dry" because I think she didn't realise she'd weed overnight (she definitely had!)

mum1979100 Thu 04-Apr-13 06:28:21

We did chocolate rewards when he got it right. Worked a treat. And he forgot about getting them after a while.

jennimoo Thu 04-Apr-13 08:30:03

Chocolate and stickers here but not helping the resistance to going on potty..

wehopeyoulikespaghetti Thu 04-Apr-13 16:42:24

yep, smarties and stickers all round here. We are getting there slowly (although tummy bug today so I hope that doesn't set her back). Sometimes you can do everything right and they still don't like it much. Well, who would? Potty is BORING! It bores me... <yawn>

jennimoo Thu 04-Apr-13 16:52:14

I've had enough! 4 wees today, all on floor. Won't sit when I ask her and is sorry afterwards.

Feeling a bit rough, super exhausted and a bit down so staying in watching DDs every movement is not fun sad I'm pregnant so not even the option of wine later ;)

wehopeyoulikespaghetti Thu 04-Apr-13 17:55:55

oh that is so rubbish for you Jennimoo. sad

I have to say, don't know whether this is right or wrong, but on just a couple of occasions my husband had to practically restrain DD on the potty, and there was occasional weeping and wailing. Sounds bad, not sure I can entirely recommend it, but then she was pleased when she managed to wee. We have used all manner of bribery as well. As much telly as she likes (but only if she agrees to sit), favourite story on repeat, even taking away a toy and saying she can have it back once she's sat on the potty. You can't bully them into doing a wee, but I think maybe you can bully them a little bit into sitting....? Maybe? If they've done it once or twice and it's not that they're not ready and completely petrified? Bad mother, bad mother...

Have you tried going out anyway, in pull-ups if need be, so it makes it less rubbish for you? We also issued stickers and treats for every trip out where the pull-ups were dry when we got home. But tbh even if they're not dry when you get back, as long as you're not out for a whole day every day, it's probably not the end of the world. Can just do it slowly and gradually. My older two took months to be accident free, but they got there. Not like some stories I hear, of 2 days training and then no accidents after that... some people have all the luck!

No wine. Sad times. Chocolate an option?

jennimoo Thu 04-Apr-13 18:50:53

The harder I try to get her to sit in the potty the worse it gets, ages quite 'string minded'! It's been 5 wees all on the floor today, and she even seems to be less aware that she needs to go...

We'll go out tomorrow anyway, I have some cloth training pants which soak up some of the wee which I keep back for popping out.

I was reading another thread about children who just decide they're ready and then barely have a single accident, and am beginning to think DD is likely to be like that if left, but could take weeks or months to get anywhere. I think DH is going to want to stick it out another day, but it wasn't him home with her today, or going to be him home tomorrow!

And there is definitely chocolate: had a kitkat chunky early and have an Easter egg to work on later smile

wehopeyoulikespaghetti Thu 04-Apr-13 19:32:55

thank goodness for chocolate. smile

It's impossible to know which camp your child is going to fit into. I wonder if you give up now whether you'll feel the last few days were wasted struggle, or whether you'll have to go through it all again in a few months. Also depends whether you have any kind of deadline for sorting it. But if you thought it might be less stressful and quicker if you left it a few months, I suppose you'd be foolish to keep pursuing it now.

I would be interested to hear from anyone who left it really late/until their child said he/she wanted to and STILL had trouble and strife. Or is it generally that the later you leave it (or the readier they are) the easier it is.

Is she sad when she gets wet? Or is she blissfully unbothered? I sometimes think it's not about how physically capable they are, but how much motivation they have to be dry. My older two did not seem bothered about accidents for the most part, but my youngest was not happy when she found her clothes in a puddle.

Also when is your baby due? People say (although I have no experience of this personally either way) that there tend to be setbacks/accidents after a new baby is born, don't they? If it's soon you might want not to bother and to try again instead after all the upheaval.

jennimoo Thu 04-Apr-13 19:51:40

Baby is due August so plenty of time I guess.

She's sad when she has accidents and says "sorry" over and over to whoever is around.

I did ask her last week before we began if she wanted to 'be an big girl and wear pants not nappies' and she said she did, but I think she probably didn't envisage what it would mean!

I think I might ask her in the morning and see what she says...

FOURBOYSUNDER6 Thu 04-Apr-13 19:51:42

I started toilet training ds1 at two and a half yrs old A year on.....At age three and a half he was dry ( and I was frazzled !)
Ds2 I left it until he was three and a half ( did not want another lengthy year long ordeal especially since I was pregnant with ds3) and it was a non event and he was dry over night ( phew!).....
Just started ds3 yesterday ( 3 yrs 2 months ) and having same experience as op.....

I am busy with baby ds4 so can't watch him like a hawk either to put on potty when he twitches
......
I think rather than battle with him and get stressed I will try again soon ... Pressure on us to be dry by this age from society but it is not like he will be in nappies starting school and I think he is not quite 100% ready even if not far off ... Good luck with yours !!!!!.....

jennimoo Mon 15-Apr-13 05:40:15

How are you doing? We abandoned as the potty refusal just got worse and she seemed a little upset at weeing on the floor. Was the right thing to do as meant we had a couple of days respite before chicken pox hit!

Anyone else persevered and have you got through the refusing stage?

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