He just wont tell me!

(5 Posts)
ArtsMumma Fri 18-Jan-13 15:18:32

Been potty training my DS, 2.5, for a few months. He wears pants all day and pull up nappies at night. He will happily pee in the toilet and he would prefer to wait until he is wearing his pull-ups before he poos but he will poo in the toilet if he needs to. He's so proud of himself when he does his business in the toilet.

My problem is, he just WILL NOT tell me when he needs to use the toilet. He has great understanding, can tell everyone that he must tell mummy or daddy when he needs to go, but he doesn't actually do it. I have tried reward charts, withdrawing privileges after accidents, being gentle and explaining patiently for the first accident, being firm and putting him in 'time out' for any further accidents... I am sure he understands but I think he simply doesn't want to leave his toys or activities to go up to the toilet. Should I forget the toilet for a while and go back to using the potty in the front room again where he can see it and is reminded about it? I dont want to have to go back to taking him to the potty every hour as I thought we had moved past that stage. Please help, this is starting to feel like it will never come together and other Mums have been less than useful with comments like "oh my DS was much better..." or "you need to shout at him for having accidents". All advice appreciated so much!

lorisparkle Sun 20-Jan-13 08:48:03

the advice I read was to deal with accidents in a calm and manner of fact manner and to reward dry pants at specific times during the day. I found the crosser I got the more they hid that they needed to go or had had an accident. I started rewarding at breakfast, snack time, lunch, snack time, tea time and bed time. of all the things I tried it was the only thing that made a positive difference. also time. children are often having accidents right until they are in school. life is too exciting to stop and go to the toilet!

ArtsMumma Sun 20-Jan-13 19:41:27

Thanks so much lorisparkle, i usually reward him for using the toilet, I hadn't really thought about rewarding dry pants at intervals but i think that could really work. Thanks, I didn't think I was going to get a response!

SminkoPinko Sun 20-Jan-13 19:44:34

He's only tiny. Surely putting him in time out for accidents is way ott? I think going back to having the potty in the room and prompting him to go without negotiating too much is a good idea.

ArtsMumma Sun 20-Jan-13 21:00:56

Hi Sminko, I agree! Time out is too harsh. I have used it when he has told me he doesnt need to go and peed seconds later (sometimes with a "hahahahaha mummy i just peed on the floor!") but I have regretted it. I was at the end of my tether, thats why I posted. You have hit the nail on the head with your advice, over the weekend I have gone back to having the potty in the room and things have improved. You have helped me make up my mind that this is the way to go.

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