Help, DS poo refusal and potty training bad side affects

(5 Posts)
MammaTo2boys Sun 06-Jan-13 16:21:14

Please, please, please help if you can, DS1 is 2.4 yo and we are on day 10 of potty training. Days 1- 3 were hell and then on day 4 he started using the potty, but only for wee wee. We can now go out and about with no accidents and he always tells DH or me when he needs the potty for a wee wee. However, he will not use the potty for a poo. At bedtime he still wears a nappy, so all he does is hold on all day and then poos in his nappy almost immediately after he puts it on. This cannot be good for him, holding it in all day. I talk to him about using the potty for a poo and he says yes, but then refuses to do a poo.
Can anyone give me any helpful hints, tips to encourage DS to use the potty for a poo. Any help will be gratefully received.

Secondly, DS has always been great at going to bed. He goes for a bath at 7 pm and then DH or I read him a bedtime story and he settles down for the night and normally sleeps through til morning. A marching brass band could go through his room and he wouldn't stir. However, for the last 5 days, he will not settle at night, repeatedly getting out of bed, sobbing and crying out for me or DH. After a few hours of putting him back to bed, over and over again, he eventually falls asleep. But then he is waking in the night and climbing into our bed and really sobs if we try and put him back on his own bed.

This is so unusual for him and I'm wondering if it is connected to the potty training. Can anyone shed some light on this behaviour and / or give me advice on how to calm him down again. After having such a good sleeper this has all come as a shock and I am worried for my little boy.

Thank you for reading this and for any help you can offer me.

Lovestosing Mon 07-Jan-13 14:32:47

Hi, I am currently in the process of potty training DC3 but even though I've been through it twice before it's still not easy, sounds to me like you and your DS are doing well.
Both DS and DD1 refused to poo on potty or toilet for some time, DS took
about a month to do it, so we had many unpleasant incidents until
then! I do remember saying to him after 5 days of holding it in "Do it in your pants, or on the floor, anywhere I don't care and I won't be cross!" I was so worried he had such tummy ache. It's frightening for them and the only thing you can do is not make a big deal of it because that will make it worse. I also used to go out o the room to give him
privacy which seemed to help. When DD1 started doing it I wasn't bothered, and I think that showed as she only took a week before she did a poo on the potty. Got woken up yesterday by DD1 informing me DD2 had pooed on the floor!! "Here we go again" I thought!
They can often become a little insecure and unsettled when they are being potty trained so I think you're right, that is why he's wakin up.
Good luck!

MammaTo2boys Mon 07-Jan-13 19:19:31

Thank you Lovetosing, I feel much better just knowing that I'm not going mad and that this is quite common. I've ordered the Elmo potty training DVD, so I'm hoping that will also help. Hope your potty training is going well.

DS is definitely feeling insecure and its breaking my heart listening to him crying every night. Me and DH are quite useless at tough love and because we are so not use to hearing him cry like this, we go to him almost immediately. I know, making a rod for our own back, but prefer that than listening to the sobbing.

Fresh01 Thu 10-Jan-13 13:55:24

Not sure about sleep but we had all poo in pants for over a month with DS (DC3). He knew when he needed to go but wouldn't use the toilet for poos only wees (he wouldnt use a potty nor did DC2) but I needed him trained for starting playgroup. So we read the pirate Pete potty training book lots, I started leaving him in the bathroom on his own with my laptop on a step stool in front of him watching Fireman Sam on YouTube, had a chocolate button after for a poo in toilet and bought 10 50p cars from Tesco and he got one of those if he did a poo in the toilet. Seems like a lot but we needed to crack it for playgroup. Within 3 days he had got it, the cars stopped after 10 so did the chocolate button shortly after. Within a month he didn't need the laptop to keep him on the toilet he just sat and went. They are all different when it comes to toilet training.

I have got this with dd at the moment, I'm trying not to let it bother me, as ds had real issues, holding it for days, so I just change her and say, where could your poo go? And she says in the toilet or the potty, and then next time she either does it in her knickers or waits until bedtime for a nappy.

With ds, I did get loads of poo books - 'everybody poos', the one about the mole - cant think what it's called, 'zoo poo' and that does help to make them realise that it's nothing to worry about - think I should take my own advice and dig them out for dd!

Good luck!

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