Not training... but dreading Christmas and families over it.

(4 Posts)
Snowflakepie Wed 19-Dec-12 13:22:09

DD will be 3 in Jan. She is completely resistant to anything to do with potty training, having been traumatised over an anal fissure as a baby which has resulted in severe withholding of poo and she has medication for that, which mostly works but she has a setback every time we are either away from home or have family to stay with us. I feel I can handle things, we have an excellent GP and nurse who I have faith in, so day to day is fine. However, we will be away for 6 days over Christmas, I will be taking all the meds etc with us and we have a stepped program to follow if it becomes an issue. And it will all be made worse by the grandparents.

They know the situation, they just don't seem to understand what it means for us and her especially. I get constant comments about her not being potty trained, that I should just force her, that it is all attention seeking, that I am in the wrong, that I feed her junk, that she will be not allowed to go to school, etc. She still isn't 3! She has a medical issue which is being treated and which I have been told will respond best to removing pressure, attention etc, and none of those comments are actually true. They talk about her when she is there in a negative way which I dislike, and seem to think that because none of their children or other grandchildren have had this issue, that it doesn't exist. I'm already wound up enough by them and just need some ideas for ways to cope with the barrage of comments that I know will come.

Add to that, I am 14 weeks PG and my mums only comment when we told her that was 'well you'll have to get E potty trained by the summer then'. I replied that I didn't care, she would do it when she is ready and probably be fine then, but really I'm so sick of it all. They seem to completely overlook the fact that she can read, she is confident and happy, and she is normally really well behaved when she isn't bunged up. Aarrrggghhh! Any help or just hand holding will be very welcome, thanks.

FunnysFuckingFreezing Wed 19-Dec-12 13:26:13

DS2 is 3 in Feb and is nowhere near being trained. His brother was over 3 by the time he was dry. It's very normal and your family needs to keep their beaks out

Arriettyborrower Wed 19-Dec-12 15:38:59

Very, very frustrating for you. No advice really, I don't know what you could say to change their perception, given that you've explained it clearly to them all.

My Ds4 is 3 v soon and still in nappies, no1&2 were both completely trained before 2, no3 is disabled and was out of nappies at around 3 ish. Ds4 is utterly resistant to it! I'm not going to push it just yet, he's not stupid, he just won't do it yet. My friend who's dc1 (dry aged 2) is same age as ds4 went on and on and on about when would he be out of nappies etc etc it irritated me mildly til I eventually said having trained 3 already who were willing there is NO way I want to create issues by forcing a child who's not going to do it. She shut up for a bit...

It's a hard one, most people have an opinion on it. Perhaps as she is your first people are more likely to comment?? As annoying as that is. Maybe people just think I'm a lost cause! (luckily no one else really comments)

Whatever, it's damned annoying for you, stay firm and do what you feel is right for your dd.

Arriettyborrower Wed 19-Dec-12 15:48:34

Did you challenge your mum on exactly why your dd would need to be out of nappies by the summer?? I found having two in nappies neither here nor there.

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