Pooing in the pool

[jcb69]

My son will be 4 in a few weeks.
He has been toilet trained for a year now and generally does very well. He goes by himself at pre-school now and can even be responsible for wiping his own bum!
However, I'm having a real problem in the pool.
He's had swimmimg lessons since just 12 weeks old and was always double nappied. (A swim nappy and those tight Happy Nappy swim trunks that hold it all in!) As a baby, I don't remember him ever pooing in the swim nappies, even though the pools he has his lesson in are warm hydro-therapy pools and I've heard that the warmth can relax the sphincter.
As he's got older, as well as his weekly swimming lesson, I have also taken him for a swim each week in our local pool. Obviously this is a pool at normal temperature (colder). Often I found that he would poo in this pool. It was always OK though (double nappy). However, this has continued even since he has been toilet trained. Not every time, but at least 50% of the time. He's still never done it in his swimming lesson though.
The swimming teacher asked me a few weeks ago, why I still had him in swim nappies, so I told her and she agreed best to keep them on. (You can't blame her!!)
But I've talked to my son a lot about it and he agreed that he wanted to go without nappy last week and he would tell me straight away if he needed a poo.
About 10 mins into the swim, I saw that familiar look on his face. I asked him if he needed a poo and he said not..............but I had a quick look in the trunks, and sure enough, it was too late.
Rightly or wrongly, I was really mad with him. It was an awful mess. (It stayed in the Happy Nappy at least and I caught it before it escaped into the pool!) At first, after I'd cleared up the mess and rinsed his Happy Nappy, I wasn't going to let him back in the pool, but then I thought what a waste of money it was, so we went back in.
Today we've been swimming again. We talked about it and he insisted on no nappy. He's had 2 poos already in the day, so I was fairly confident all would be OK.........................but 10 mins into the swim, he did it again!
This time, I cleared up the mess and we got dressed and have come home.
I just don't know what to do. He knows I'm cross with him and I've said there will be no CBeebies tonight, nor any chocolate.
But, I wonder if I'm being too harsh. Maybe he can't help it.
Any advice gratefully received.
Thanks


greatnorthtrytorun.blogspot.com

[girlywhirly]

Under the circumstances, I would ask the swimming teacher if you could have a refund, and not go for the rest of the term. It sounds like a habit has been formed, especially if he won't tell you he needs to go. Does he do this in the bath at home? It doesn't seem fair to subject the other pool users to this. Even if the water does stimulate him to go, at 4 he should be able to get out with you and go to the loo.

[jcb69]

No, he doesn't do it in the bath.
And he doesn't do it in the lessons.
It's only when we go for a swim by ourselves.
Also, the poo doesn't ever escape. Nothing gets out of the outer Happy Nappy, especially since I get him out immediately. So it doesn't affect other pool users.................although it would if I didn't get him out immediately.

[girlywhirly]

I guess you will have to stop going for a swim by yourselves until he learns to stop this. You give it one more go, warn him that you will stop taking him for these sessions if he doesn't stop. Mean what you say, and leave the pool immediately if he poos. Get him out of the pool promptly if the swimming by yourselves is just after the lessons, so he has no chance to do it. If he enjoys the swimming, he will be spoiling his own fun, so will have an incentive to stop. I think the only way to break this habit is by removing the opportunity for a few weeks at least until he can behave more appropriately.

Have you noticed that he does it while with you, even from very young? Interesting that he has never done it during a lesson, where presumably you aren't in the water with him. So I doubt it is being in the water that is the cause, in a toilet trained child. More likely a control thing, or attention-seeking, or just too lazy to go to the loo, or a habit that has just continued.