Ready to give up after 3mths of training - Advice please!

[bumbums]

My DS was 3 on the 2nd May. For no particular reaason we started our second attempt at pt the day after his b,day.
After all this time we are still struggling. He does not want to stop playing to go to the potty/toilet when we are out and I have to either drag him there kicking and screaming or bribe him with sweets.
For a week at a time every other week he has trouble remembering about his poos. They seem to come out bit by bit through out the day. If we're at home when this happens he'll agree to sit on potty for 10-15mins to wait for a 'big one' to come. More often than not it doesn't.
I can't work out wether he's concious of the fact that these little bits of poo are coming out or not.

What would you do? Go back to nappies for a couple of months or plough on? I hate to give up on anything.

Trying lactulose for a week starting today to see if that makes the poo come all at one time and relieves any blockages which may be occuring in the bowel. Praying it is a constipation issue and not just the fact that he's not ready to be in pants. Aargh!

[girlywhirly]

It does sound like constipation. The thing here is that DS is putting off going to the potty/loo when he's engrossed in play. His bowel gets more and more full, more water is absorbed from it and the poo becomes harder and more compacted. This overstretches the bowel walls and causes a loss of sensation if it happens often enough, so there is a chance he isn't aware of the need to go. Once he is going again it may take a while for the bowel to get back in shape as it were.

You can assist the lactulose by making sure he drinks a lot, and has lots of things like raisins, grapes, oranges and orange juice, apricots, pineapple, higher fibre bread and wholegrain cereals. Poo that is high in fibrous indigestible waste gives pretty strong signals and therefore results in a proper emptying, rather than lots of 'rabbit droppings' or smears on the pants.

I don't personally think you should go back to nappies, but make sure bribe sweets are only given after a success. What about a sticker chart with a highly desired prize for a certain number of potty successes? Let him sit on the potty and continue with his drawing/trains/whatever, as long as he delivers the goods.

I appreciate the difficulty when out and about. I think you could delay going out until he has been, if you think a poo is imminent, saying that he needs to do that first before you go to the park or wherever he's looking forward to.

[bumbums]

Thanks so much for your response. So should I expect the lactulose to take 2-3 weeks to work? Or longer?

[girlywhirly]

bumbums, sorry for not getting back to the thread. I think this is likely to take a few weeks, if only to establish a good pooing routine where DS goes once or possibly twice a day, and is producing a decent sized soft poo each time. Then if he is eating more fibrous foods you can reduce or even stop the lactulose. Of course, all this is dependent on DS willingness to comply!