Break down

[mummybear1003]

I have a 5 month old gorgeous boy and a lovely partner but recently I've found myself swinging too and from feeling fulfilled and like I am doing as good a job as I can and feeling like a lonely mess. I have friends, I have family but I still feel so deserted. I manage to get out most days so that I'm not just sat while my partner is at work but I still feel trapped. I have been depressed before and I honestly don't think it's that this time. I don't get why I'm not on top of the world when I have this amazing little boy, every tiny little thing my partner does that I don't like is causing me to get angry/ upset and start arguments. I hate who I am at the moment and don't want to be this blunt with my loved ones as I want to give off the in control strong vibes rather than some crazy woman not capable of looking after my son. He has been very ill and because of my partners job I have had to do a big bit of looking after him, I can't be seen as a bad mum because I can't be without him. I hate myself for not appreciating what I have. I dread weekdays because everyone works and I am 'trapped' with my son. All I wanted was to be a good mum but at times he just wears me down and make me miss being me

[Savannah13nbump]

It's natural to go through phases like this, with dd1 I felt up and down for months so I think you are lucky to only be feeling like this now, do not feel like a bad mum you can not help how you feel, have you considered talking to a doctor about how you feel, there is no shame having a baby is a big adjustment to your life and your mind might only just be adjusting to this life change x