Hello,
I can't believe I am about to type this but does anyone else LOVE their child, but hate motherhood a lot of the time.
My baby is two months old and I feel trapped. I don't miss my old life as such because my DD is amazing, I just feel so isolated and do feel like I have lost myself - I am now just a cook, cleaner, milk maid, nappy changer ...
My partner hasn't sacrificed anything - not nights out, not hobbies, not work. Nothing - and while I don't want him to be around 24/7, I feel very alone in this a lot of the time. He was even drunk the night I went into labour!!
I am on anti depresses since mid way through pregnancy and am too scared to convey how I am feeling fully.
I was just wondering if anyone else felt this way sometimes? And what helps?
Thanks
As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.
Postnatal health
Motherhood not what I expected ....
LittleNettle · 10/07/2016 09:48
Ha, was going to say much the same thing. Your partner is at least half the problem because he's not pitching in - he's obviously not allowing parenthood to impinge on HIM in any shape, way or form, leaving you to do all of it. This attitude should have died out by now, but clearly some throwbacks still believe it's what "a man" should do.
Most real men get involved - help the mother of their children out, by helping with the baby, helping with housework, cooking, cleaning, giving her a rest so she can catch up on sleep etc. If yours does none of those things then he sucks. As for being drunk while you were in labour - no words. 
For the rest - talk to your GP. Find some groups for new mums - did you join any birth groups, NHS or NCT or anything? Contact them. See if there is a Surestart group in your area (they're becoming rarer with lack of funding but check anyway). Look for playgroups - although your baby is far too tiny to care for themselves, it gives YOU a chance to get out and speak to other adults - most of whom will be feeling at least some of what you are.
Talk to your parents, and his (if you get on with them). See if they're able to take the baby for a bit since your partner is so fucking useless.
Sorry, meant to add before posting:
Hang in there, it does get better. The first few months are absolutely the worst because of the sleep disruption - but it does settle down. You will be ok - but see your GP to make sure. 
I have certainly felt the way you . My dd is 2 now and I have given up my job and I still feel resentful towards my partner very occasionally but I have been honest with him. He gave up his martial arts practice and we share cooking and cleaning. My job is the full time care of our child, not house maid and cook, and he does not expect that from me.
You need to have a chat with your partner but I am worried he is quite selfish. Being drunk when you went into labour is completely not on. And he should have realised on his own that you've sacrificed so much and it's up to him to make some sacrifices, like giving up hobbies, but no matter. He needs to step up. Do you breast or bottle feed? If bottle can he do one night or early morning feed? My dd is breastfed so my dp used to do the majority of happy changes when he was home and also he would get up with her before he went to work so I could have a bit of a lie in.
Having a baby is a big deal and as the mother the responsibility will be felt mostly by you, but that does not mean the father should be able to sit back and do nothing. Try explaining to him how you feel, how much sacrifices you've made. How upsetting it is to see the father of your child carry on life as normal while you're falling apart. (That's what I would say anyway). He needs to do his bit. It's normal for you to feel the way you do anyway but he is making it so much worse. It's lovely as your baby grows though. Seeing her develop and learn will be wonderful. 
Xx
For me, I had to acknowledge that I needed me time, and I was not a bad mother because of this!
I also got in a rut of continuing to wear bad maternity clothes for months afterwards. One day I went and bought a top and a pair of jeans that fitted properly, and that helped me feel more myself.
It is tough being depressed and on anti depressants. I had ante natal and post natal depression too. Just sending
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