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Postnatal health

I don't love my child

5 replies

Scatty1220 · 13/09/2015 12:07

My daughter is 16 months now and I was diagnosed with PPD when I was 27weeks pregnant which came about because the doctor found she had a heart arrhythmia and I felt like I had failed my daughter. I have been of and on antidepressants since then because I felt better and thought I didn't need them anymore and would start them again and quit again but now this time I feel like I don't even care if I love her. I'm sure I messed my head up when I kept stopping and starting like that but I didn't want to depend on a pill to make me happy. Anyway, I look at her and feel nothing and I hate it because I know I did before and I feel like maybe I've messed up the chance of loving her again. The future seems hopeless and I feel like I couldn't care less this time and I hate it. What should I do?

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Mumofajay · 13/09/2015 14:40

You should definitely see your GP ASAP. Don't feel bad about how you feel it's not your fault but as horrible as it is the anti depressants are there to help you stop feeling the way you do until you are recovered and no one can put a time stamp on that. I hope you start feeling yourself soon and you do love your baby your just in a bad place but there is light at the end of the tunnel and your little one won't remember either.

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PacificDogwood · 13/09/2015 14:43

Yes, see your GP again.

You will feel better again, and you will be capable of feeling love for your DD.

Get started on ADs and stick with them for at least 6 to 12 months.
Do NOT come off them as soon as you feel better - it's the biggest mistake people make.
You have not messed up your head btw, you do sound as if your depression is back and you need that illness to be treated. Your OP was written by your depression.

Please reach out and find help

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coveredinsnot · 13/09/2015 14:44

Please see your gp. Many areas have specialists in postnatal mental health and they may be able to refer you
It's good that you recognise that what's happening isn't OK - you do still sound depressed, and you need help. It's really hard to form and maintain a bond when you're depressed but it definitely can get better, and it's not actually that unusual. Please reach out for help and let us know how you get on with your gp.